₦airaland Forum

There’s a man in my neighborhood whose story has stayed with me.

Years ago, his home was a hub of life. Teenagers everywhere. Music blasting. Laughter spilling into the street. Young boys full of promise, respect, and energy. A mother holding the center. A family in motion.

Fast forward to today and the house is silent.

One son is gone. Another has relocated. The wife and daughters have moved on. What remains is a man sitting alone behind a gate, cooking for himself, washing his own clothes, watching the days pass without the noise that once defined his life.

This is a reality we rarely discuss.

We talk about career growth. We talk about wealth. We talk about legacy.

But we almost never talk about male loneliness in old age.

For many men, life slowly narrows: Children grow up. Homes empty out. Visits reduce. Attention fades.

Mothers are remembered, celebrated, visited with gifts and affection. Fathers, too often, are left behind quietly enduring, saying little, asking for nothing, but feeling everything.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness.

Sons: Your father may not say much. He may act distant or grumpy. But he wants connection too. He wants to feel seen.

Daughters: Celebrate your fathers, not just on special days, but in ordinary moments. Presence matters more than presents.

Fathers: Be kind to your wives. Be warm with your children. Emotional deposits made today compound in old age.

Because here’s the uncomfortable truth: No promotion, no achievement, no title prepares a man for an empty house.

Old age doesn’t arrive suddenly, it creeps in quietly.

And how we love, show up, and stay connected today determines whether later years feel full… or painfully hollow.

This is not just a family issue. It’s a societal one.

Let’s do better while there’s still time.

That is nature always dealing with men. Fathers really don not mark any presence in the boy-child life, so nothing the boy will learn from him, further when they grow up, they leave daddy.

You can reverse this sha, if you are so intentional with your baby-boys life.

Truth is their is nothing in marriage for an average man. Maybe to help the woman raise the kids. How do I mean, most kids sees and takes care of their mums before the dad's (if at all the dad) I will always tell most married men I see to invest into their future and not make any child or wife their plans or hope for happiness. Marry as much wives if it makes you happy Las Las, one of them will always be there.

Those are just straight-up facts. A ton of guys spend their lives hustling for people who will forget them when they're old. The real move is to just get as rich as you can. When you have the cash, people will show up—like your nieces and nephews, maybe a concubine, or even a 'sugar baby. ' You could even marry someone just for companionship later on.

Monogamy? That whole thing is basically a scam we were sold. If you've got the resources, why not? Just remember, it has its downsides: a wife could seriously mess things up, like trying to kill you or your kids for the inheritance, starting family fights, or even cheating on you with someone who wishes you were gone.

If you play it smart, like Pa Ned Nwoko, you can totally dodge loneliness. But yeah, being a guy is seriously messed up.

Even if you’re not rich, just make sure sure you’re comfortable. Have money so you can move around. Don’t just be at home always (you’ll only become a victim of stories like this), join clubs, societies. Travel (that’s why the money is necessary), interact and don’t feel like anyone owes you. You’re just another man going through life don’t life go through you. Your wife and children don’t owe you much (I would have said ‘anything’) but you owe your self a lot.
You made a decision to reproduce, now make the decision not to be lonely.


No comment; next question

Always prepare for your old age, try to put things in place that will sustain your life and do not depend on your children.

In conclusion treat your wife well always.

The cold hard truth about marriage and raising kids is that there is nothing in it for a man.
As a man, you need to be strategic to benefit whatever you can from the arrangement. Society will try to shame you for wanting to benefit anything from the arrangement and not wholly the sacrificial lamb. But don't listen to them.
Make sure you marry a woman who can only tangibly contribute or in a position to influence something positive for you. Not just a liability that you have to do everything for. Even though the woman will hate it that she has to contribute, but you have to stick to your guns.

Love800:
✓ That is nature always dealing with men. Fathers really don not mark any presence in the boy-child life, so nothing the boy will learn from him, further when they grow up, they leave daddy.
✓ You can reverse this sha, if you are so intentional with your baby-boys life.

What is described in the OP has nothing to do with nature, but the result of human action, or in this case, inaction. This is the typical end of men who refuse to bond emotionally, mentally, and physically with their children and wives, or with their siblings and friends. This phenomenon has been studied, and yes, there is a male loneliness epidemic today, a result of the pattern of refusal by many men to connect in meaningful ways with their very friends and family when the chance to do so was before them. 🥱🥱🥱

2. Trying to further brainwash your baby boys into worshipping you will not remove the problem. Men need to learn to become emotionally and socially intelligent human beings, like humans are supposed to be. The onus is on men to learn to become better human beings overall, so they can connect with their fellow human beings on a level that best works for the species; stop expecting that you can use others to do the work for you. 🥱🥱

Trymeee:
✓ Truth is their is nothing in marriage for an average man.
✓ Maybe to help the woman raise the kids. How do I mean, most kids sees and takes care of their mums before the dad's (if at all the dad) I will always tell most married men I see to invest into their future and not make any child or wife their plans or hope for happiness.
✓ Marry as much wives if it makes you happy Las Las, one of them will always be there.

The male loneliness epidemic affecting the world today impacts both married and single men alike. If you choose to blame Marriage, then why do single men also suffer the same problem of loneliness?

2. The problem has been studied and said to be caused by men's refusal to connect on an emotional, social, and mental level with friends, wives, and children. It is all linked to some unhealthy relationship many men have with their emotions in the way of identifying, relating, and managing them.

3. No matter how many wives and children a man has, he is still likely to end up alone and die alone, even then if he refuses to do the needful. Go village today, and you will find many lonely men like the one described by the OP. The family will likely show up after his death to perform whatever is necessary for them to get their hands on anything the man left behind, though.

Kobojunkie:
The male loneliness epidemic affecting the world today impacts both married and single men alike. If you chose to put the blame on Marriage, then why do single men also suffer the same problem of loneliness?

2. The problem has been studied and said to be caused by men refusing to connect on an emotional, social and mental level with friends, wives and children.

3. No matter how many wives and children a man has, he is still likely to end up alone and die alone even then if he refuses to do the needful. Go village today and you will find there many lonely men like the one described by the OP. The family will likely show up after his death to perform whatever iis necessary for them to get their hands on anything the man left behind though.

Kobojunkie, for my sanity, peace of mind and mental health, always do well to avoid any comment, post or mention of my moniker.


Have a great life.

Trymeee:
, for my sanity, peace of mind and mental health, always do well to avoid any comment, post or mention of my moniker. Have a great life.

Log off of Nairaland and delete your account to grant yourself your desire. It's your job to protect your peace & mental health by yourself, not mine. 🥱🥱

wonder233:
The cold hard truth about marriage and raising kids is that there is nothing in it for a man.
As a man, you need to be strategic to benefit whatever you can from the arrangement. Society will try to shame you for wanting to benefit anything from the arrangement and not wholly the sacrificial lamb. But don't listen to them.
Make sure you marry a woman who can only tangibly contribute or in a position to influence something positive for you. Not just a liability that you have to do everything for. Even though the woman will hate it that she has to contribute, but you have to stick to your guns.

Well said, I'm single and from most marriages I see, only 2percent of married men really enjoy that happiness, all they do Is lie to theirselves and the camera.


A woman can easily manipulate and dissuade the love of the kids from their father. This is supported by nature as an average man spend more time working than living. Reminded me a lady I met who had this bitter hatred for her dad. I asked if the man paid her fees, she said yes. I asked if he provides, she said yes.


Her excuse was mum said this mum said that. The man unbeknown is working his ass out for the so-called family not knowing the wife already poisoned the kids mind and he's only still tolerated because he's the provider. When he's weak and can't work again, they will ostracize him like the plague and epidemy they see him as.

Kalatium:
There’s a man in my neighborhood whose story has stayed with me.

Years ago, his home was a hub of life. Teenagers everywhere. Music blasting. Laughter spilling into the street. Young boys full of promise, respect, and energy. A mother holding the center. A family in motion.

Fast forward to today and the house is silent.

One son is gone. Another has relocated. The wife and daughters have moved on. What remains is a man sitting alone behind a gate, cooking for himself, washing his own clothes, watching the days pass without the noise that once defined his life.

This is a reality we rarely discuss.

We talk about career growth. We talk about wealth. We talk about legacy.

But we almost never talk about male loneliness in old age.

For many men, life slowly narrows: Children grow up. Homes empty out. Visits reduce. Attention fades.

Mothers are remembered, celebrated, visited with gifts and affection. Fathers, too often, are left behind quietly enduring, saying little, asking for nothing, but feeling everything.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness.

Sons: Your father may not say much. He may act distant or grumpy. But he wants connection too. He wants to feel seen.

Daughters: Celebrate your fathers, not just on special days, but in ordinary moments. Presence matters more than presents.

Fathers: Be kind to your wives. Be warm with your children. Emotional deposits made today compound in old age.

Because here’s the uncomfortable truth: No promotion, no achievement, no title prepares a man for an empty house.

Old age doesn’t arrive suddenly, it creeps in quietly.

And how we love, show up, and stay connected today determines whether later years feel full… or painfully hollow.

This is not just a family issue. It’s a societal one.

Let’s do better while there’s still time.

Cc nlfpmod Dominique seun

it all starts from how well we bond well with our children and loved ones.

Most father's that are hard hit are those that are always too serious and too strict with their kids up even till when they are mature.

Too much of shouting ,insults and derogatory remarks at them creates a cold relationship btw father and child. Even before that child bcoms an adult, he has already left the huz.

When these children leave the house through marriage, they rarely get in touch as they should . To them leaving the house is like a big relief for them.

It is good parents esp father's should relax their grip a bit on their children when they come up of age. Relate with them more like a friend . Be there for them.

Have these men complained of loneliness? O you're assuming on their behalf?

SpencerForbes:
Those are just straight-up facts. A ton of guys spend their lives hustling for people who will forget them when they're old. The real move is to just get as rich as you can. When you have the cash, people will show up—like your nieces and nephews, maybe a concubine, or even a 'sugar baby. ' You could even marry someone just for companionship later on.

Monogamy? That whole thing is basically a scam we were sold. If you've got the resources, why not? Just remember, it has its downsides: a wife could seriously mess things up, like trying to kill you or your kids for the inheritance, starting family fights, or even cheating on you with someone who wishes you were gone.

If you play it smart, like Pa Ned Nwoko, you can totally dodge loneliness. But yeah, being a guy is seriously messed up.

Lol


Word of the day:


Get as rich as you can, invest as much as you can for yourself not for your kids or wife alone, but for your old age.


And lastly, pray for good health and save enough for quality healthcare at old age

Trymeee:
Kobojunkie, for my sanity, peace of mind and mental health, always do well to avoid any comment, post or mention of my moniker.


Have a great life.

You even have time to notice that bitter evening Newspaper. An Ignore serves her real good.

I notice on this subject, they do blame men for being absent or wicked, mean to their kids and then the kids revenge. It is not always so direct like that. FFA said

There are 3 seasons in your life as a parent:

When you direct and raise your kids-You're in charge.
When you aren't there-The kids are in charge of their own lives as school, career takes over
When you are there but-They're now in control of their lives and their parents' lives. Old Age takes over. What the kids say is mostly final if not all


Many forget this. Many do everything right but still end up unappreciated. Yeah. And some are due to manipulation from mothers, in laws or even religious beliefs. Of course there are truths to these. Just that I've seen many that despite all they did, they still suffer or are punished.


I've also seen mothers in this category. Kids all grown and she's left to suffer in old age due to one or two

Make one sha do well and pray that labor will not be in vain.

daveP:
I notice on this subject, they do blame men for being absent or wicked, mean to their kids and then the kids revenge. It is not always so direct like that. FFA said
[url]There are 3 seasons in your life as a parent:
When you direct and raise your kids-You're in charge.
When you aren't there-The kids are in charge of their own lives as school, career takes over
When you are there but-They're now in control of their lives and their parents' lives. Old Age takes over. What the kids say is mostly final if not all [/url]
Many forget this. Many do everything right but still end up unappreciated. Yeah. And some are due to manipulation from mothers, in laws or even religious beliefs. Of course there are truths to these. Just that I've seen many that despite all they did, they still suffer or are punished.
I've also seen mothers in this category. Kids all grown and she's left to suffer in old age due to one or two
Make one sha do well and pray that labor will not be in vain.

Unless the children in question had sociopathic tendencies, they almost always reflect the conditions of their upbringing when they become adults back at those who raised them. Ask the children why they decided to cut contact with their parents, and you will hear the truth of what really happened from the insider's point of view. 🥱🥱🥱

The basic principle is that a parent who is emotionally, socially, and physically connected to the lives of the children, even into adulthood, will rarely ever be abandoned by them. However, parents who ignore every opportunity to bond with their children, even into adulthood, risk having those children go no contact with them even into old age.

LOL 😂. You can spend all the time in the world training a kid, but once they grow up, they get their own families and totally new responsibilities. They might want to visit, but life just gets in the way. Take a kid who japa’d out of the country—are you seriously expecting them to come back every single year? No way! Does that mean the father didn't raise them right? Hell no! They might call once a week, but that won't fix the loneliness.

So, the real advice is: Make your own money and enjoy your old age, because even if you gave them everything, they will still leave. And your wife? The only person who might stay... she'll eventually leave too.

SpencerForbes:
Those are just straight-up facts. A ton of guys spend their lives hustling for people who will forget them when they're old. The real move is to just get as rich as you can. When you have the cash, people will show up—like your nieces and nephews, maybe a concubine, or even a 'sugar baby. ' You could even marry someone just for companionship later on.

Monogamy? That whole thing is basically a scam we were sold. If you've got the resources, why not? Just remember, it has its downsides: a wife could seriously mess things up, like trying to kill you or your kids for the inheritance, starting family fights, or even cheating on you with someone who wishes you were gone.

If you play it smart, like Pa Ned Nwoko, you can totally dodge loneliness. But yeah, being a guy is seriously messed up.

You too Sabi, you know the matters Wella. I lost my father to my stepmom, she ran with properties documents. Her kids are coming up but I know she's instigating them which will bring fights.

Gotocourt:
You too Sabi, you know the matters Wella. I lost my father to my stepmom, she ran with properties documents. Her kids are coming up but I know she's instigating them which will bring fights.

Damn, that's seriously messed up 🤦‍♂️. Just pray she isn't into anything diabolical, or honestly, if you can, just let the whole thing go. Being alive is way better than losing your life over some property.

Nobody is more dangerous than a woman who is fighting to get what she wants—she will go to the extreme. If you can still rally your uncle to handle it, fine. But seriously, keep praying to whatever power you serve. Those kinds of people are no joke.

Kobojunkie:
Unless the children in question had sociopathic tendencies, they almost always reflect the conditions of their upbringing when they become adults back at those who raised them. Ask the children why they decided to cut contact with their parents, and you will hear the truth of what really happened from the insider's point of view. 🥱🥱🥱

The basic principle is that a parent who is emotionally, socially, and physically connected to the lives of the children, even into adulthood, will rarely ever be abandoned by them. However, parents who ignore every opportunity to bond with their children, even into adulthood, risk having those children go no contact with them even into old age.

That's true. It's just not a one size fits all situation. Sometimes, na church dey help reconcile after some long term beef as well. And sometimes, different continents.

I know a family that all are abroad, the kids. They send in $ and £€ Monthly like Salary to their parents. But to show face na wahala. Na when their popc die, they show face. Gave him grand burial. Their mom was the one angry at all of them, narrating how their dad did this and that, etc.

As you said, sociopaths. We need to accept this demograph takes a chunk of the % on this table.

Mothers manipulation and gaslighting dey
Kids finding out truths and switching dey(Many mothers don't care about the fact that if kids find out the truth, their abandon them in old age due to resentment for selling them lies for decades of existence with confidence)

Overall, one needs to instill values that will make kids have good judgement and face these issues.

Imagine a lady is single and Prophet told her her mom is behind her predicament. She came back home from Norway and her mum was expecting her without even telling her she was coming. She narrated how she did some spiritual dark stuff over her daughter and that though she has good career and all, until she does some stuff, man no go look her side. Real story. Her uncle was aware. Dad is late. She went thru his diary and saw that her parents fought cos the mom did some decisions solo. That was it.

Welll.... This life ehn.

Trymeee:
Truth is their is nothing in marriage for an average man. Maybe to help the woman raise the kids. How do I mean, most kids sees and takes care of their mums before the dad's (if at all the dad) I will always tell most married men I see to invest into their future and not make any child or wife their plans or hope for happiness. Marry as much wives if it makes you happy Las Las, one of them will always be there.

The op post was not an attack on marriage. Calm down

Old age loneliness is not an unusual thing, and kids should not be burdened with the responsibilities of not making their parents feel lonely.

There are ways things like this can be handled. One is adoption. Kids bring vitality to the household by their mere presence, and it’s a natural pairing of two parties that needs each other.

Kids needs training, knowledge, stability and finance. Old parents probably have accumulated all these, and can give it to the children, while having them around to do house chores and enjoy their energy.

Every smart person that can calculate the totality of situations can tell that mr Ned is polygamous for the reasons I outlined above. So in addition to adoption, polygamy is also another way.

Wealthy men will rather trust their own blood, than adopt or let non-blood descendants to inherit their empire. Westerners have made peace with this things hence, they dominate the adoption market globally.

life is suffering and as you age, evidence of it starts surfacing in your life especially as you age , is it the numerous comorbidities, the systemic breakdown of biological hardware, the erosion of cognitive function or the increasing resource drain required for baseline maintenance?

the human body is a finite resource machine designed with inherent points of failure and a built in obsolescence timer in essence you are approximately a ticking time bomb. as you approach the limits of its operational lifespan (70+ is well into the latter half of its projected cycle) evidence of these design flaws becomes increasingly manifest.

cells accumulate errors, organ lose efficiency, immune responses diminish, and musculoskeletal structures weaken. this is the hard coded reality. as one system degrades, it stresses others. cardiac issues precipitate renal issues, neurological decline impacts mobility etc. these are cascading failures in a tightly coupled system.

human interaction like any critical system component requires redundancy. relying solely on a spouse or biological offspring for social uptime is a single point of failure. when that component degrades the system collapses. rational agents diversify their social connections to include non familial, non romantic allies eg professional networks, interest based communities or purely transactional relationships.

what we dont prepare fathers for implies a collective responsibility. this is a fallacy. individuals are responsible for their own long term system maintenance. expecting external entities to prepare you for the predictable degradation of biological and social systems is an abdication of personal responsibility.

optimize your own system, dont expect society to patch your bugs.

franchasng:
Lol


Word of the day:


Get as rich as you can, invest as much as you can for yourself not for your kids or wife alone, but for your old age.


And lastly, pray for good health and save enough for quality healthcare at old age

This here is the formular.

daveP:
➜That's true. It's just not a one size fits all situation. Sometimes, na church dey help reconcile after some long term beef as well. And sometimes, different continents.
➜ I know a family that all are abroad, the kids. They send in $ and £€ Monthly like Salary to their parents. But to show face na wahala. Na when their popc die, they show face. Gave him grand burial. Their mom was the one angry at all of them, narrating how their dad did this and that, etc.
➜ As you said, sociopaths. We need to accept this demograph takes a chunk of the % on this table.
➜ Mothers manipulation and gaslighting dey Kids finding out truths and switching dey(Many mothers don't care about the fact that if kids find out the truth, their abandon them in old age due to resentment for selling them lies for decades of existence with confidence)
➜ Overall, one needs to instill values that will make kids have good judgement and face these issues.
➜ Imagine a lady is single and Prophet told her her mom is behind her predicament. She came back home from Norway and her mum was expecting her without even telling her she was coming. She narrated how she did some spiritual dark stuff over her daughter and that though she has good career and all, until she does some stuff, man no go look her side. Real story. Her uncle was aware. Dad is late. She went thru his diary and saw that her parents fought cos the mom did some decisions solo. That was it. Welll.... This life ehn.

1. Churches are notoriously bad at exactly what you described. Many of the problems that exist between parents and their children are created by your churches, so how can the same sources of the divisive ideologies that many of these absent fathers live by be the solution? Nah!

2. Storyland! The children intentionally stayed away. You think they only heard of their mother's anger and cried only after the man died? Wrong! They probably hated their father, but tolerated him because their mother refused to leave him. There are so many other people in the same shoes. You should go on TikTok and listen to their storytime of people who have chosen to go no contact with their parents or family members to understand the reasons why people may feel it is better to abandon even their father in certain situations.

3. Sociopaths make up only about 1-4% of the population, and no, not all such people cut off communication with parents. I only mentioned them because they are the only ones who have the capacity to do so without reason. However, most people who cut communication or go no contact do so with a very good reason.

4. This is mostly a lie that the society has fed and used to delude Nigerian men into believing the fault isn't theirs when they are abandoned by their children. The fact is, when children become adults, the majority of them go looking for answers for themselves. And what they find contributes to them choosing to stay away from the parent they eventually decide they should either stay away from or continue to have no contact with.

5. You cannot instill values that you yourself do not uphold into your children. They see and learn from your examples. And when a parent is not emotionally, socially, or physically connected to their children, the chances are great that the children will remain distant from that parent even into their adulthood. The only one who can break that cycle is the parent; however, many Nigerian men remain set in their ways even into adulthood, thinking that they can browbeat/bully their children into connecting against their will when they are turned adults. This rarely ever works. 🥱🥱

5. This is a bullsheet story! What stopped the lady from searching for her dad before moving to Norway and in her early adulthood? Blaming her mother for her being single is nonsensical reasoning. 🥱🥱

The story no get heads or tails. Parents fight, and there is nothing wrong with that. If she cared so much about her dad, why didn't she search for or demand that her mother or relatives give her his contact and whatever else she may have needed during her teens and early 20s? Let's please stop spewing these utterly atrocious tales that present people more like imbe_ciles than as intelligent beings. It is 2026 soon, abeg! 🥱🥱

Trymeee:
Well said, I'm single and from most marriages I see, only 2percent of married men really enjoy that happiness, all they do Is lie to theirselves and the camera.

A woman can easily manipulate and dissuade the love of the kids from their father. This is supported by nature as an average man spend more time working than living. Reminded me a lady I met who had this bitter hatred for her dad. I asked if the man paid her fees, she said yes. I asked if he provides, she said yes.

Her excuse was mum said this mum said that. The man unbeknown is working his ass out for the so-called family not knowing the wife already poisoned the kids mind and he's only still tolerated because he's the provider. When he's weak and can't work again, they will ostracize him like the plague and epidemy they see him as.

Unfortunately, a significant proportion of women have this forgetful character where they don't remember what was done for them, but only what is being done at the moment.

To counter this as a man, have fewer children. This gives you free time to spend your money yourself and wellbeing.

So, how do you take care of yourself?
- Buy those clothes; eat those dishes and items you have always desired provided the money dey. There are many nice restaurants these days which offer delicious meals. Treat yourself at least once or twice per month.
- Embark on trips either solo or with your friends. Create geninue friendships across professions, ages and walks of life.
- Develop a new hobby or hobbies. It could be volunteering for a cause dear to your heart or anything, but the hobby that keeps you mentally fit, and physically too if possible
- Learn new things/enrol into new courses to broaden your knowledge in a particular subject. It could learning how to invest more profitably even if you studied economics or finance in school.
- Diversify your investments. The Internet has offered everyone the opportunity to learn and implement new ways to invest and build one's nest without leaving his abode.

What I've observed is that too many men stress themselves largely because they have too many children than they (mentally, emotionally and physically) can take care of. So they go the extra mile just to provide whereas their bodies aren't fit for such. Meanwhile, if they had few children, they will have more time for themselves, even if na to just dey sleep.

You see men doing what I describe as "ten man load, one man carry". Taking up projects bigger than themselves and mental capacity.

Gerrard59:
Unfortunately, a significant proportion of women have this forgetful character where they don't remember what was done for them, but only what is being done at the moment.

To counter this as a man, have fewer children. This gives you free time to spend your money yourself and wellbeing.

So, how do you take care of yourself?
- Buy those clothes; eat those dishes and items you have always desired provided the money dey. There are many nice restaurants these days which offer delicious meals. Treat yourself at least once or twice per month.
- Embark on trips either solo or with your friends. Create geninue friendships across professions, ages and walks of life.
- Develop a new hobby or hobbies. It could be volunteering for a cause dear to your heart or anything, but the hobby that keeps you mentally fit, and physically too if possible
- Learn new things/enrol into new courses to broaden your knowledge in a particular subject. It could learning how to invest more profitably even if you studied economics or finance in school.
- Diversify your investments. The Internet has offered everyone the opportunity to learn and implement new ways to invest and build one's nest without leaving his abode.

What I've observed is that too many men stress themselves largely because they have too many children than they (mentally, emotionally and physically) can take care of. So they go the extra mile just to provide whereas their bodies aren't fit for such. Meanwhile, if they had few children, they will have more time for themselves, even if na to just dey sleep.

You see men doing what I describe as "ten man load, one man carry". Taking up projects bigger than themselves and mental capacity.

I got a lot of wisdom from your write up. I'd learn more if I'm privileged.

Relevancy for the children to be taken care of.

Kalatium:
There’s a man in my neighborhood whose story has stayed with me.

Years ago, his home was a hub of life. Teenagers everywhere. Music blasting. Laughter spilling into the street. Young boys full of promise, respect, and energy. A mother holding the center. A family in motion.

Fast forward to today and the house is silent.

One son is gone. Another has relocated. The wife and daughters have moved on. What remains is a man sitting alone behind a gate, cooking for himself, washing his own clothes, watching the days pass without the noise that once defined his life.

This is a reality we rarely discuss.

We talk about career growth. We talk about wealth. We talk about legacy.

But we almost never talk about male loneliness in old age.

For many men, life slowly narrows: Children grow up. Homes empty out. Visits reduce. Attention fades.

Mothers are remembered, celebrated, visited with gifts and affection. Fathers, too often, are left behind quietly enduring, saying little, asking for nothing, but feeling everything.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness.

Sons: Your father may not say much. He may act distant or grumpy. But he wants connection too. He wants to feel seen.

Daughters: Celebrate your fathers, not just on special days, but in ordinary moments. Presence matters more than presents.

Fathers: Be kind to your wives. Be warm with your children. Emotional deposits made today compound in old age.

Because here’s the uncomfortable truth: No promotion, no achievement, no title prepares a man for an empty house.

Old age doesn’t arrive suddenly, it creeps in quietly.

And how we love, show up, and stay connected today determines whether later years feel full… or painfully hollow.

This is not just a family issue. It’s a societal one.

Let’s do better while there’s still time.

Lol this happens to you when you have nothing goiing on in your life.

Before I got married, I lived alone, cooked my food, did my laundry, etc why is it an issue at age 60?

Well this happens to be an issue in africa because an average African man wants submissive wife, kids etc. So why they pass the age of submission, his life becomes miserable and boring.

This one hit me deep. Too often we dey celebrate mothers, dey pamper them, and forget say fathers too get feelings and need connection.

E no be about money or gifts, na presence, conversation, small small gestures dey matter most.

I dey wonder, how many of us really dey check on our fathers just to hear how dem dey, not only during holidays or birthdays?

I think this thread suppose make all of us pause and reflect—maybe today na the day we reach out and spend proper time with our fathers before e late.