₦airaland Forum

Ubahjessica:
➜Some friends appear deceitful They usually disguise as friends but deep down they're enemies and never to be trusted 👇
https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1CrgmUUnrs/

Diamond098454:
➜A married woman shouldn't keep to many friends sometimes you will see a married woman hanging out with single female friends, divorcees or single mothers

Kobojunkie:
A married man keeps all of his friends — single, divorced, etc.— but a married woman should not do the same because? Does marriage make her less of a human being than the man she married? 🥱🥱🥱

Diamond098454:
➜married women do everything to keep their home and this is one of the things people normally advice they do

Kobojunkie:
So, because she is to keep the home, she does not deserve to have a social life outside of the home complete with hobbies of her own that does not include anything related to keeping the home? The woman does not deserve any time off — she has to be 24/7 on the clock in the home? But the man whose job is traditionally the provider for the home is allowed to work his 40-hour shift each week, after which he is free to use some of those finances to socialize and maybe even take trips away from his home? 🥱🥱🥱

No wonder there is talk that marriage is a "humiliation ritual" for women, particularly in Africa(Nigerian included). 🥱🥱🥱

Diamond098454:
➜you and I hasn't married yet when we marry We will confirm it
➜ Hope my husband will allow me wear my choice of clothes hmmm hmmm marriage

Kobojunkie:
1. Don't force me into the same boat as you, as we are not even close to being in the same place at all. Second, if you are dreaming of loosing your individuality in marriage — your husband continues his life like when he was single except that he now has a wife at home while you abandon your friends and possible your self to marriage— I can tell you that the end that awaits you is not going to be any different from that of our many mothers and grandmothers before you. The chances are over 80% that you will need to tolerate and literally swallow a lot of bullsheet at that. That is the life of the average Nigerian woman in marriage, and a life you are literally setting yourself up for by your refusal to choose yourself first.

2. You don't throw these things up to chance. Make sure you know the life you have and want, and never settle for anything less than that. And if you intend to be a stay-at-home-mom, then be sure to get a pre-nuptial/post-nuptial requiring your husband to pay you a certain amount — about half of what it would cost for him to hire an outside to do the same work you do in the home — into an account to belongs to you alone. Make sure not to accept any excuses on this. That particular advice comes from a family lawyer.

Diamond098454:
➜ stay at home mum hmmm when job is waiting for me already hmmm I like money and i will work to earn it.

Kobojunkie:
Having a job is good, but it still cannot shield you from the potential abuse that your marriage partner may inflict on you. For instance, if after working your job, you still have to come back home to do house-related work alone, without being compensated in any way for it, you remain unprotected from financial abuse. If you have to endure the trauma of a partner cheating on you— yes, cheating is traumatic to the human brain— choose to remain in th relationship— literally force your brain to abandon self-protection(it's primary responsibility— for the sake of marriage, that is abuse. The list goes on. 🥱🥱🥱

So, get yourself educated on your place and rights as a human being and pursue self-love so you know how to choose yourself in all situations. That is how you prevent and fight back against abuse.