₦airaland Forum

Eighty-year-old wife of a career diplomat, Mrs Janet Brai, shares her thoughts on how she navigated frequent postings across Europe and Africa, managing the challenges of always moving her family and her thriving business from one country to another

When did you clock 80 years old?


My date of birth is November 10, 1945.


So, how does it feel being 80?

It feels very different—there’s a lot of difference. The things I could do before, I can no longer do.

Like what?

Well, I’ve always been a very active person. I can’t sit in one place. But now, my movement is slower. I feel weaker, and I now can’t do many of the things I used to do.

How would you describe your early life?

I was born in Lagos. My father came to Lagos when he was 18 years old and settled in Tinubu Square, and that was where I was born. I grew up there for a while before my father moved to Yaba. We lived at 174, Clifford Street—now known as Muhammed Raji Street—so that was where I actually grew up.

Later, he built a house in Ajegunle. My mother moved there, but I didn’t move with her at first. I continued staying with my father on Clifford Street. I started my primary school there, and later, I moved to Ajegunle to live with my mother.

What is your educational background like?

I attended Ajegunle Primary School in Apapa. After finishing my primary school, I went to a secondary school called Metropolitan College. It doesn’t exist anymore, but that was where I completed my secondary education. Afterwards, I sat my GCE O’Level.

As soon as I finished secondary school, I got a job at the Ministry of Defence. My father’s friend worked there—he was actually in charge of employment—and he was the one who employed me.

While working there, I met my husband. The Ministry of Defence was located on Marina then. We occupied the first to fourth floors, while External Affairs was upstairs. That was where I met my husband, and eventually, we got married.

What year was that?

I got a job at the Ministry of Defence in 1965. Then in 1966, I met my husband. We eventually got married at the Catholic Church in Falomo. Immediately after the wedding, we went on our first posting. My husband was a career diplomat, and he was posted to Rome, so we moved to Rome together.

When we got to Rome, I enrolled in the American Business School. It was a secretarial school where students were trained to become secretaries, and it was a two-year programme. While studying there, I also became more interested in fashion designing. I had always made my own clothes back in Nigeria, even though I never studied fashion formally; I just had the natural flair for it.

One day, I met the wife of my husband’s boss. She asked why I was attending secretarial school. She told me she was a Pitman-trained secretary—Pitman in England is one of the best training schools.

She explained that after returning to Nigeria, she worked for only six months before her husband was posted abroad again, which made all her training feel wasted.

What advice did she give you?

She advised me to consider fashion school instead, since I already made my own clothes and clearly had the talent. She said it would be more profitable as the wife of a career diplomat because when we return to Nigeria, I could work anywhere and at any time.

Whenever my husband was posted again, I could simply pack my sewing machine and continue abroad—unlike a secretary who might spend months job-hunting after every relocation.

So, I decided to attend a fashion school. I continued with my secretarial classes in the morning and went to fashion school in the evening. I eventually completed my secretarial training and then finished fashion school as well.

We were 30 students in the fashion class, and during the final exam, I came first. I was extremely happy. I was the only black in the class. After that, we were posted back to Nigeria. I opened my first fashion house at No. 17, Nnamdi Azikwe Street, near Tinubu Square. I’m trying to remember the exact name, but I’ve forgotten. The shop was just close to Tinubu Square.

The building where I set up my shop is a three-storey building, and it’s still there. I rented an office space on one of the floors. I remember paying £17.10—then we were still using British pounds. That was where I opened my first fashion house.

How successful was the business?

I started sewing there, and the business became very successful. I had many customers. At that time, there were many Filipino doctors working in government hospitals in Nigeria, and their wives were some of my regular clients.

I also sewed for my husband’s colleagues’ wives and many office girls. I was extremely busy. I handled numerous weddings and birthday outfits. Brides would bring their wedding dresses to me, and I would sew everything—the wedding gown, the bridesmaids’ dresses, the entire bridal train.

Those were my youthful days. I was young, energetic, and working from morning till night. The people who shared the building with me included the owners of that old Sheraton Hotel, Ibru. They had office spaces on the same floor. That was how my sewing career began.

Later, we were posted to Sierra Leone, so I had to pack up the entire business. Anytime we were posted, I had to close everything down. We moved to Sierra Leone and stayed there for four years.

When we came back, of course, I had lost my previous space, so I had to sew wherever I could. I started sewing in our house. We had a flat on Mosley Street—Mosley Street in Ikoyi, I remember clearly. Our external affairs officer had assigned us all to live in Ikoyi upon our return.

At first, sewing in the flat disturbed my husband because it wasn’t convenient. So, he suggested I moved to his garage. I started sewing there. The business quickly outgrew the garage, but there was nothing I could do except to manage it as best as I could. He would park his car outside, and I redecorated the garage to accommodate all my sewing machines.

Later, we were posted again—this time to Ivory Coast, after Sierra Leone. I had to pack up the entire business once more. In Ivory Coast, I decided to further my education, so I enrolled at the University of Abidjan to study French. I stayed there for three years.

What happened thereafter?

Then a sudden posting to Poland came. I told my husband I did not want to go, but he said, ‘You cannot stay behind. I must take you with me.’ My lecturers were very fond of me and encouraged me to stay, as I had only about two years left to complete my studies. But ultimately, I abandoned my French education and went with my husband to Poland.

After Poland, we returned home, and I resumed sewing. By then, we had bought a house in Satellite Town. The sale of the house had been published while we were in Poland.

It was part of a 1979 government scheme where civil servants could purchase lots for N100. We applied, were successful, and were allocated the house. So, we moved into our home in Satellite Town, where my sewing business continued to grow.

When we moved here, I started sewing in the house. Eventually, the sitting room became too small for all the clothes. As a result, my husband suggested I use the children’s bedroom. At that time, I had nine sewing machines, so I moved into the children’s room, which could contain about seven of the machines.

Did you sew for any organisation you can remember?

I met a woman who was a manager at UAC Apapa. UAC managed the procurement for Kingsway Stores. Have you heard of Kingsway Stores? Well, young people today may not.

Kingsway was located on East Marina. The building is still there, but the store no longer exists. Back then, if you wanted the best of anything—clothes, fridges, kitchenware—you went to Kingsway Stores.

This woman, who has since passed away and lived on Second Avenue, heard about my sewing skills. She visited her office in Apapa and gave me my first contract. She said, ‘Let me see your work—I’ve heard about you but I want to be sure.’ She gave me some materials to sew, and I executed the order. She was very impressed and increased the workload.

From there, my business grew. She would distribute my clothes to Kingsway Stores in Ibadan, Jos, and Kaduna—they had stores across Nigeria. I was sewing ankara outfits—skirts and blouses. Other people handled baby clothes and different items, but I focused on the ankara sets, complete with head ties.

The materials sometimes came from UAC, but I often sourced them wherever I found nice fabric. After completing the orders, she would collect them, and I would receive payment within about 30 days.

These ankara outfits, with skirts, blouses, and head ties—not wrappers—were particularly aimed at expatriates and visitors wanting souvenirs from Nigeria. They were very popular. That’s how I was managing my sewing business.

Later, my husband was posted again—from Poland to Uganda. After returning from Poland, we came home briefly. That was when I started sewing for Kingsway. Then we were posted to Uganda, where he became High Commissioner.

Did you go with him again?

Of course, I went with him. We packed everything—my entire business included. I’m trying to recall the sequence of postings. From Poland, we came home, and after my daughter was born, we went to Germany. I took her as a baby to Germany, and we stayed there for four years.

That is Amina, right?

Yes! Amina. She was the only one among our children born in Nigeria—specifically in LUTH. At that time, I was sewing for Kingsway. I remember someone told me I was pregnant, though I hadn’t realised it because I was on birth control pills. After our stay in Germany, we were posted to Uganda. I remember that clearly now.

I remember now. From Germany, we stayed there for a while before being posted to Uganda, where he was made a High Commissioner. That was our final posting. After that, we finally returned home.

How long were you in Uganda before returning home?

I can’t remember exactly—maybe six months, and then we finally came back. I would have to check to be sure.

What state are you from?

Edo State.

What about your husband?

We are both from Edo State.

What was his name?

Patrick Brai. He passed away almost 30 years ago.

How old were you when he died?

I must have been around 40 to 43.

How old was he?

He was 54.

What happened to him?

He was sick. In their family, males tend to die young. That’s one reason I am now in Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministry. We studied in the School of Deliverance that certain patterns exist in families, whether you believe it or not.

In his family, only the males die young, while the females live long. I don’t know of any females in my husband’s family who have passed away; they are all older than him and still alive—about five or six of them.

My husband died, but he managed to educate his two brothers. One of them was an electrical engineer who worked for NEPA. He rose to a high position there but eventually died. The younger brother was an accountant—very brilliant. When I was running my business, he would help me with the accounting.

Not that he was officially working for me, of course; he had his own job, but he did it so efficiently, tracking my profits and pointing out areas where I wasn’t making money. He, too, has passed away. He was the last of the three males.

So all the males in that family have died, but the females are still alive. My husband had also told me that his father died young. So yes, we lost him a long time ago. Even my daughter’s school fees were paid by her uncle.

How many children do you have?

Three; Amina is the youngest, born 12 years after her eldest brother.

So you weren’t planning to have another child?

No, I was on birth control. I didn’t even realise I was pregnant.

Looking back at all the moving around with your husband from one country to another, what was the experience like?

The packing was another challenge. I’m not the only one who says this. All the women I’ve spoken to about this will agree. We would pack everything and travel, but when we arrived at our destination, finding some of your things was difficult.

You might pack your bedsheets in one box, plates in another, kitchen items in a third—but when you arrive, you have no idea which box contains what.

So, yes, it wasn’t easy. It was cumbersome. We lost many things because of all the movement. Sometimes items wouldn’t even arrive at the new destination. It’s just the reality of travelling like that.

Having moved around with your family like that, what would you like to share with younger women today, in relation to when you had to leave your French studies in Ivory Coast to follow your husband.

My advice is this: marriage is a covenant, and for every woman, it is an honourable institution. When you are married, make sure you are happy in your marriage, and that happiness often comes from making compromises.

For instance, when my husband said, ‘I can’t leave you behind; I’m taking you with me,’ that was his desire. If I had insisted on staying behind just to finish my degree because it was more important to me, what would have happened? He would have gone ahead to his posting alone.

When a man gets to a new environment without his wife, he may begin another relationship. That is how cracks start in a marriage. When such cracks appear, it becomes difficult, sometimes impossible for a woman to mend them. Even if you later join him, another woman may already have positioned herself.

brain54:
Interesting...

Life was so beautiful and simple back then. Things keep changing and becoming more difficult, complex and complicated!

HighQue007:
Una problem be say una no understand Economics or life as a whole.

Life was never easy then. 100 naira then no be beans. You have to understand how inflation works. Haba

aribisala0:
Old age
I do not believe there was ever a time you could buy a house for 100 Naira in Lagos State

TruthHurts1:
https://punchng.com/we-bought-our-lagos-house-for-n100-in-1979-80-year-old-ex-diplomats-wife/

KingDashx:
Omo
If to say my grandfather know, him for buy property back then.

aribisala0:
Old age
I do not believe there was ever a time you could buy a house for 100 Naira in Lagos State

ppogba:
TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU.

Mama brain don dey touch small small.

AlphaTaikun:
That was a lot of money back in 1979. I remember buying grilled meat (suya) for N20 back in 1982 and 2 of us could NOT even finish the large quantity.

Tayorshd87:
#100 was a lot of money and it's like 100m now .

Not everyone too can afford it then as easy as it looks ..

donleo92:
Oh boy!!!

Some people really enjoy this life oooh

KingDashx:
Omo
Once upon a time when naija was a great country

brain54:
Hu

Who was talking about the 100 naira...?


I was referring to the simplicity of life!

ppogba:
Do something now so that your own grand children will not say the same down the years on Nairaland.

AlphaTaikun:
That was a lot of money back in 1979. I remember buying grilled meat (suya) for N20 back in 1982 and 2 of us could NOT even finish the large quantity.

nairalanda1:
Back then, nepa had started it's blackouts and most people were poor and broke and lived in slumsand villages.

ayoncox:
The 100 Naira as at then is the same value of about 273,000 Naira at the moment

BlackViper:
Didn't you read where she said it was a government scheme? Most likely it was heavily subsidised