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The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers - Family - Nairaland

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The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Naijalegal(op): 4:07am On Dec 21, 2025
“SUBMISSION” IN MARRIAGE IS NOT SLAVERY — AND NIGERIAN MEN NEED TO HEAR THIS

Let’s settle this once and for all.

Biblical submission is NOT military command submission style.
It is NOT dictatorship.
It is NOT “I am the man, shut up.”

Marriage was never designed as a superior vs inferior relationship.
The Bible calls marriage an EQUAL YOKE — two people becoming ONE.

So how did “submission” suddenly turn into subjugation of women in this generation?

Submission in marriage simply exists to reduce friction, align vision, and streamline authority, not to silence a woman or erase her intelligence.

“Two cannot walk together except they agree.”
Agreement requires voices, not silence.

A submissive wife is not voiceless.
A submissive wife is heard, considered, and integrated into decisions.

Even in traditional African homes, wives were never slaves.
The man was the mouth, but the woman was the tongue inside — invisible to outsiders but absolutely indispensable.

Major decisions?
✔️ Wife consulted
✔️ Wife informed
✔️ Wife respected

So how did modern men become more extreme than our forefathers?

Let me break it down

Submission is like aerodynamics
A plane must be shaped a certain way to fly.
Design it like a car and it will crash.

Submission is the wing of marriage —
but NO PLANE FLIES WITH ONE WING.

Submission must be mutual.
Respect must be equal.

When submission is mutual, marriage flies.
When submission becomes subjugation, marriage crashes.

A man who confuses submission with oppression is like someone trying to mix oil and water.
They will never become one.

When you subjugate your wife:
❌ You kill her potential
❌ You reduce her capacity
❌ You waste her intelligence

A wife is the neck — and the head cannot turn without it.

Refusing to consult your wife is like owning two brains and using only one.
That is not leadership. That is self-sabotage.

Your wife should be your deputy, not your domestic staff.
She should be able to stand in your absence and move the vision forward.

Submission is AGAPE submission — deep, mutual, equal, intentional.

Submission exists to unify purpose, not to dominate women.

If submission silences her, weakens her, or makes her invisible —
That is not biblical
That is not African
That is not marriage

Let the arguments begin

Do you believe submission means silence?
Can a marriage survive without mutual respect?
Nigerian men: are we leading or controlling?


Type “MARRIAGE PRINCIPLES” in the comments to receive a link to my private WhatsApp community for regular teachings and our monthly marriage webinar.

Send me a DM to book a private, confidential marriage consultation.


C.H. Ogudu Esq.
Lawyer, Pastor, Women Rights Advocate and Relationship Coach

Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by greenmonk: 7:27am On Dec 21, 2025
I talkam. You be pastor. Pastors like pandering to women.
Was it not the same bible you teach that said women should be submissive to their husbands.
You don't want the man to be authoritative but you expect him to pay bride price and go through fire to acquire a wife and after that becomes an equal yoker with her.
If women really want equality some the practices in Nigeria have to change.
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by ManknowThyself(m): 9:43am On Dec 21, 2025
Good topic!!!!!!!

Respect is reciprocal in life, there is no sane husband that will not reciprocate the respect of his wife to love.
The bible said :
Wife respect your husband and husband love your wife.

As man truly you can never love what you don't respect, so God bible saying love your wife means both respect and love.

Never mistake indiscipline for freedom, wife's are helpers cos no man can have a peaceful home without a woman. As a man you only own a house not a home without a woman for the stability of the structure of your kingdom.

Nothing like slavery, when there is mutual real feelings of understanding.

I tell people, real women control their men cos they overwhelmed them with true respect and in return the men grow in love and men are easy to control when they naturally in love with you.


As a man, any true woman that give you peace deserve your infinite love and respect.
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by pocohantas(f): 10:05am On Dec 21, 2025
They learnt it from your forefathers.
So I wonder why same forefathers would be shocked. Or are you in the mood to lie today?
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by We4all: 11:38am On Dec 21, 2025
Good post. I hope those who are looking for slaves to control in the name of submission learn from it.
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by We4all:
greenmonk:
I talkam. You be pastor. Pastors like pandering to women.
Was it not the same bible you teach that said women should be submissive to their husbands.
You don't want the man to be authoritative but you expect him to pay bride price and go through fire to acquire a wife and after that becomes an equal yoker with her.
If women really want equality some the practices in Nigeria have to change.
The same bible says not to fornicate, commit adultery, and ask to love thy neighbour as yourself. How many of these commands have you obeyed?

You should be casting and binding you selective memory, and not looking for a slave to control in the name of submission. 😏😏😏
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Fountainofyouth(f): 12:57pm On Dec 21, 2025
When you hear most Nigerian men constantly hammer on submission, what they actually mean is that wives should accept and tolerate their bad behaviour e.g cheating should be overlooked, authoritative traits, respect them despite being irresponsible, and so many other evil vices

But I'm so glad that women these days refused to agree and tolerate bull...shit, reason why divorce is on the rise and will continue to rise.
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by greenmonk: 12:21am On Dec 23, 2025
We4all:
The same bible says not to fornicate, commit adultery, and ask to love thy neighbour as yourself. How many of these commands have you obeyed?

You should be casting and binding you selective memory, and not looking for a slave to control in the name of submission. 😏😏😏
My take is that I like people who are transparent.
I respect people especially those who are not practise what they preach and I'm sure your not one of them.
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Fenrir(m): 1:57am On Dec 24, 2025
Naijalegal:
“SUBMISSION” IN MARRIAGE IS NOT SLAVERY — AND NIGERIAN MEN NEED TO HEAR THIS

Let’s settle this once and for all.

Biblical submission is NOT military command submission style.
It is NOT dictatorship.
It is NOT “I am the man, shut up.”

Marriage was never designed as a superior vs inferior relationship.
The Bible calls marriage an EQUAL YOKE — two people becoming ONE.

So how did “submission” suddenly turn into subjugation of women in this generation?

Submission in marriage simply exists to reduce friction, align vision, and streamline authority, not to silence a woman or erase her intelligence.

“Two cannot walk together except they agree.”
Agreement requires voices, not silence.

A submissive wife is not voiceless.
A submissive wife is heard, considered, and integrated into decisions.

Even in traditional African homes, wives were never slaves.
The man was the mouth, but the woman was the tongue inside — invisible to outsiders but absolutely indispensable.

Major decisions?
✔️ Wife consulted
✔️ Wife informed
✔️ Wife respected

So how did modern men become more extreme than our forefathers?

Let me break it down

Submission is like aerodynamics
A plane must be shaped a certain way to fly.
Design it like a car and it will crash.

Submission is the wing of marriage —
but NO PLANE FLIES WITH ONE WING.

Submission must be mutual.
Respect must be equal.

When submission is mutual, marriage flies.
When submission becomes subjugation, marriage crashes.

A man who confuses submission with oppression is like someone trying to mix oil and water.
They will never become one.

When you subjugate your wife:
❌ You kill her potential
❌ You reduce her capacity
❌ You waste her intelligence

A wife is the neck — and the head cannot turn without it.

Refusing to consult your wife is like owning two brains and using only one.
That is not leadership. That is self-sabotage.

Your wife should be your deputy, not your domestic staff.
She should be able to stand in your absence and move the vision forward.

Submission is AGAPE submission — deep, mutual, equal, intentional.

Submission exists to unify purpose, not to dominate women.

If submission silences her, weakens her, or makes her invisible —
That is not biblical
That is not African
That is not marriage

Let the arguments begin

Do you believe submission means silence?
Can a marriage survive without mutual respect?
Nigerian men: are we leading or controlling?


Type “MARRIAGE PRINCIPLES” in the comments to receive a link to my private WhatsApp community for regular teachings and our monthly marriage webinar.

Send me a DM to book a private, confidential marriage consultation.


C.H. Ogudu Esq.
Lawyer, Pastor, Women Rights Advocate and Relationship Coach

Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Kobojunkie: 3:54am On Dec 24, 2025
Naijalegal:
“SUBMISSION” IN MARRIAGE IS NOT SLAVERY — AND NIGERIAN MEN NEED TO HEAR THIS
Let’s settle this once and for all.
Biblical submission is NOT military command submission style. It is NOT dictatorship. It is NOT “I am the man, shut up.”Marriage was never designed as a superior vs inferior relationship. The Bible calls marriage an EQUAL YOKE — two people becoming ONE. So how did “submission” suddenly turn into subjugation of women in this generation? Submission in marriage simply exists to reduce friction, align vision, and streamline authority, not to silence a woman or erase her intelligence.

“Two cannot walk together except they agree.” Agreement requires voices, not silence.
A submissive wife is not voiceless.
A submissive wife is heard, considered, and integrated into decisions.
Even in traditional African homes, wives were never slaves. The man was the mouth, but the woman was the tongue inside — invisible to outsiders but absolutely indispensable.
Major decisions?
✔️ Wife consulted
✔️ Wife informed
✔️ Wife respected
So how did modern men become more extreme than our forefathers? ....
I don't believe this is right, especially where it concerns the bible. The book is abundantly clear that submission is meant to be a master/slave relationship and not a partnership. And yes, submission was meant as a curse for the woman since Genesis 3 in that book. So, this attempt to revise it ain't gonna work at all. undecided

Let's leave the book out of this because it is in no way connected to that which has been weaponized by the religion of Christianity, like most other religions, against women in marriages. 🥱🥱

The Biblical idea of marriage is one where a man leaves his father and mother and joins with his wife. However, Christianity mirrors the traditional notion of marriage, which instead has the woman abandoning her mother and father to become a part of her husband's family; a complete departure from the biblical definition of marriage. Clearly, there is nothing biblical about the religious notion of marriage, even among Christians, and hence, the problem you have with the religion is something else that women need to counter using some form of logic for it to stand. undecided
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Kobojunkie:
Fountainofyouth:
➜When you hear most Nigerian men constantly hammer on submission, what they actually mean is that wives should accept and tolerate their bad behaviour e.g cheating should be overlooked, authoritative traits, respect them despite being irresponsible, and so many other evil vices
But I'm so glad that women these days refused to agree and tolerate bull...shit, reason why divorce is on the rise and will continue to rise.
It has been that way since the time of their ancestors, who saw women as exchangeable parts in their seek to have their desires met. Women were easily abandoned... no need for formal divorce... and women remain the same way now. Why? Because women have, for the most part, existed as subordinate in marriage home. Religion carries forward that very same status for married women, and does everything it can to gaslight single women into seeing themselves unholy and unworthy entities, incomplete without a man and marriage above their heads. 🥱🥱
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Kobojunkie:
greenmonk:
➜I talkam. You be pastor. Pastors like pandering to women.
Was it not the same bible you teach that said women should be submissive to their husbands.
➜You don't want the man to be authoritative but you expect him to pay bride price and go through fire to acquire a wife and after that becomes an equal yoker with her.
➜ If women really want equality some the practices in Nigeria have to change.
Here's the problem with your claim:

⚈ Marriage in that book is defined as a man leaving his father and his mother behind to join with his woman as one — one signifying the agreement/contract that is marriage. What you poeple practice is instead a situation where a man holds fast to his mother and father, while it is the woman who leaves her father and her mother to join the man's household. Notice how there is no difference between the traditional idea of marriage and the religious notion of what marriage is.

⚈ Submission as written in that book is, in fact, detailed as the curse that was placed specifically on the woman in relation to her husband -- In marriage alive ---after the fall of man. That curse was never repealed nor replaced for the woman in marriage, and it was meant to have the woman subjugated in marriage —she was a slave to his desires in marriage. As a matter of fact, the only way for a woman to live above that specific curse is to not marry at all, an idea unpopular with most religious folks.

2. Paying of bride price has to do with your traditions requiring that of you. Most Nigerian men would rather pay bride price than marry a woman in the courts, though, which offers a marriage built on partnership and not on subjugation. So, the issue isn't the bride price but the mentality that many Nigerian men still hold as far as what they consider the place of the woman(a place beneath them). undecided

3. The practices don't need to change; rather, more men need to choose the more equal arrangement in marriage. undecided
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by bukatyne(f): 9:10am On Dec 24, 2025
pocohantas:
They learnt it from your forefathers.
So I wonder why same forefathers would be shocked. Or are you in the mood to lie today?
I myself shock! grin
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by bukatyne(f): 9:11am On Dec 24, 2025
It is not a Nigerian man thing though and all the forefathers worldwide will be shocked. grin
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Fenrir(m): 1:37pm On Dec 24, 2025
Kobojunkie:
Here's the problem with your claim:

⚈ Marriage in that book is defined as a man leaving his father and his mother behind to join with his woman as one — one signifying the agreement/contract that is marriage. What you poeple practice is instead a situation where a man holds fast to his mother and father, while it is the woman who leaves her father and her mother to join the man's household. Notice how there is no difference between the traditional idea of marriage and the religious notion of what marriage is.

⚈ Submission as written in that book is, in fact, detailed as the curse that was placed specifically on the woman after the fall of man. That curse was never repealed nor replaced for the woman, and it was meant to have the woman subjugated in marriage —she was a slave to his desires in marriage.

2. Paying of bride price has to do with your traditions requiring that of you. Most Nigerian men would rather pay bride price than marry a woman in the courts, though, which offers a marriage built on partnership and not on subjugation. So, the issue isn't the bride price but the mentality that many Nigerian men still hold as far as what they consider the place of the woman(a place beneath them). undecided

3. The practices don't need to change; rather, more men need to choose the more equal arrangement in marriage. undecided
Im disappointed in you Kobojunkie. The 1 Nigerian on here i believed held yourself to a higher standard. Anything.....

The hypocrite marriage attitude in Nigeria

The original Greek and Hebrew, Nigerian Christianity, and Nigerian law
How coercion violates scripture and law simultaneously

When practice contradicts text, appeals to “Christian values” or “biblical marriage” are false attribution.
When practice contradicts law as well, what remains is not religion or culture but unlawful social control.

Modern law did not invent consent, free will, or accountability.
It translated them.

Free will and accountability. Choice as the foundation of morality and law.

In Galatians 5:13, the Greek reads:

“τῇ ἐλευθερίᾳ ᾑλεὐθερώθητε…”
“For you were called to freedom…”

ἐλευθερία (eleutheria) means voluntary moral agency.
Not chaos. Not disobedience. Choice with responsibility.

The text replaces coercion with accountability.
People choose freely, then answer for those choices.

Nigerian contradiction

Religion is often enforced socially:

assumed belief

punished dissent

emotional coercion

This violates the text.

Nigerian law (federal)

1999 Constitution of Nigeria, Section 38

Freedom of thought, conscience, and religion

Includes freedom to change religion or hold none

Includes freedom from coercion

👉 The Constitution is a legal restatement of eleutheria.
Daily religious pressure violates both scripture and law.

Fear, hell, and control. Moral consequence, not psychological weapon.

The gospels use γέεννα (Gehenna) and ᾍδης (Hades).

Gehenna: a real valley, symbol of destruction or purification

Hades: the realm of the dead

Neither supports modern fear-based behavioural control.

Fear replaces accountability with compliance.

Nigerian contradiction

Hell is routinely used as:

threat

behavioural leash

social weapon

Nigerian law

Criminal Code & Penal Code

Threats and intimidation are offences

Coercion invalidates consent in civil and criminal contexts

👉 Law mirrors the original message:
Fear invalidates moral choice.

Authority inverted. Exousia becomes service, not domination.

Matthew 20:25–26:

“The rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them… but it shall not be so among you.”

ἐξουσία (exousia) is authority exercised responsibly, not domination.

John 13 linguistically inverts κύριος (kurios) when Jesus washes feet.

Nigerian contradiction

Religious and family authority is treated as:

unquestionable

absolute

disciplinary

Nigerian law

Constitution, Section 34

Right to dignity of the human person

Prohibits degrading treatment

👉 Absolute authority over adults violates both:

Christian exousia

Constitutional dignity

Teaching, not forcing. Religion as invitation.

Matthew 28:19:

μαθητεύσατε (matheteusate) teach, mentor

Mark 1:15:

“Repent and believe”

Both presuppose refusal.

Nigerian contradiction

Refusal treated as rebellion

Doubt punished

Compliance enforced

Nigerian law

Child Rights Act & Education Policy

Prohibits religious coercion

Protects freedom of belief even for minors

👉 Teaching without choice is illegal instruction, not education.

Tradition versus God. Culture does not outrank conscience.

Matthew 15:6:

παράδοσις (paradosis) — human tradition
“You nullify the word of God because of your tradition.”

This verse is Christianity’s internal override switch.

A tradition is automatically void when it contradicts moral law.

Nigerian contradiction

“Traditional marriage” treated as superior to:

court marriage

church marriage

mutual consent

Nigerian law

Marriage Act (federal)

Court marriage is fully valid nationwide

Customary rites are optional

No ritual confers extra legal validity

👉 Law follows the text:
Tradition is subordinate.

Lies and manipulation. No exemption for culture.

Hebrew law:

“You shall not bear false witness.”

Greek:

“The truth will set you free.”

Nigerian contradiction

Families claim:

rituals are mandatory

marriages invalid without them

spiritual consequences will follow refusal

Nigerian law

Fraud, misrepresentation, undue influence

Contracts obtained through deception are void

Consent obtained by falsehood is invalid

👉 Manipulation violates biblical ethics and contract law.

Marriage and weddings. Consent creates marriage, not ritual.

In the Bible, marriage forms through:

consent

covenant

responsibility

No ritual creates marriage by force.

Nigerian contradiction

Wedding rituals treated as:

compulsory

legitimising

authority-granting

Nigerian law

Marriage Act + Customary Courts

Marriage exists by consent and registration

Ceremonies are symbolic, not constitutive

No family has veto power over adult marriage

👉 Law reflects the original Christian model:
Choice creates covenant.

Bride price. Mohar is obligation, not purchase.

Hebrew:

מֹהַר (mohar) — obligation

not קָנָה (qanah) — to buy

Exodus 22:16–17:

Payment does not force marriage

Payment does not create ownership

Nigerian contradiction

Bride price treated as:

purchase

entitlement

authority over woman and children

Nigerian law

Customary Law + Supreme Court rulings

Bride price does NOT create ownership

Women are not property

Marriage is not a sale

👉 Law and Hebrew text agree:
Mohar ≠ ownership.

Children are not property.

Psalm 127:3:

“Children are a heritage…”

Greek:

κληρονομία (klēronomia) — stewardship

Nigerian contradiction

“If bride price is paid, children belong to the man.”

Nigerian law

Child Rights Act

Children are independent rights-holders

No parent “owns” a child

Best interest of the child overrides custom

👉 Cultural ownership claims violate:

Scripture

Statute

International law

Household and obedience. Honour ≠ submission.

Greek:

τιμάω (timaō) — honour

ὑπακούω (hypakouō) — obey

The text separates respect from obedience.

Nigerian contradiction

“Honour your parents” used to demand:

ritual compliance

marriage control

life decisions

Nigerian law

Constitution + Family Law

Adults owe no obedience to parents

Honour does not equal submission

👉 Law reflects the Greek distinction exactly.

Conscience and moral responsibility.

Romans 14:5:

συνείδησις (suneidēsis) — internal moral knowledge

Action without conviction is morally compromised.

Nigerian contradiction

Obedience without conviction is praised.

Nigerian law

Consent doctrine

Actions without free will lack legal validity

Coerced decisions are reversible

👉 Law formalises what the text already taught.

The Berean standard. Questioning authority is virtuous.

Acts 17:11:

Bereans praised for questioning religious authority

Nigerian contradiction

Questioning elders or pastors treated as moral failure.

Nigerian law

Freedom of expression

Right to question, criticise, dissent

No immunity for religious authority

👉 Law sides with the Bereans.

Ekklēsia. Voluntary assembly, not surveillance.

Greek:

ἐκκλησία (ekklēsia) — voluntary civic assembly

Nigerian contradiction

Church attendance enforced by:

family pressure

social surveillance

Nigerian law

Freedom of association

Attendance must be voluntary

No penalties for non-participation

👉 Law re-expresses ekklēsia in secular terms.

“Customary law.” Why it is not law — and why forcing it is punishable.

Customary law is often spoken of as if it were a parallel legal system equal to statutory or constitutional law. It is not.

There is no codified legal code for customary law for any of Nigeria’s:

371 tribes

260+ ethnic groups

No written statutes.
No unified jurisdiction.
No produced legal texts defining rights, procedures, offences, or penalties.

No one can produce a single complete legal code for “customary law” applicable even within one tribe, let alone nationally.

This reveals its true nature.

Customary law is not law.
It is a voluntary social system that operates only by consent.

It functions where:

all parties agree

participation is voluntary

exit is possible

The moment consent is removed, customary law ceases to exist as a legal concept.

A system with:

no codified rules

no enforceable neutrality

no guaranteed protections

cannot compel behaviour.

The legal boundary Nigerians routinely cross.

Here is the distinction ignored daily:

Customary law itself cannot be enforced

Forcing or manipulating people under the banner of “customary law” is legally enforceable against those who attempt it

The law does not recognise “customary law” as a power to compel adults.

It does recognise:

coercion

intimidation

fraud

undue influence

harassment

So when families attempt to force rituals, marriages, obedience, or compliance — they are not exercising customary law.

They are committing recognised legal acts, for which liability attaches to:

the family members involved

intermediaries who applied pressure

anyone who misrepresented law or consequences

Invoking “customary law” does not create authority.

It creates exposure.

The convergence with scripture and law.

This mirrors the same kill switch embedded in both systems:

Christianity voids tradition that nullifies justice

Nigerian law voids custom repugnant to natural justice

Custom survives only when it is:

chosen

harmless

non-coercive

Once forced, both systems reject it.

Final synthesis

Christianity’s original message is not anti-law.
Law is its secular translation.

Free will → consent

Agapē → voluntary obligation

Exousia → accountable authority

Conscience → legal capacity

Covenant → contract

Stewardship → rights

What is routinely violated in Nigeria is not Christianity alone.

It is:

Christian ethics

Federal law

State law

International human-rights law

All at once.

The system persists because:

culture enforces what law forbids

religion legitimises what scripture rejects

This is not belief vs unbelief.

It is:

Text + Law vs Social Control

And both the Bible and the Nigerian Constitution say the same thing:

Without consent, nothing is valid.

Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Fenrir(m): 1:42pm On Dec 24, 2025
Nigerian men are nothing but hypocrites, you all do nothing but prove it.....

Customary Law in Nigeria: Cultural Practice, Legal Recognition, and Structural Limits
1. Introduction: Cultural Practices Within Nigerian Law, Not an Independent Legal System

What is commonly referred to as “customary law” in Nigeria does not constitute an autonomous legal system. Rather, it describes a collection of cultural practices and social norms associated with particular Nigerian ethnic communities, which may be recognised by Nigerian courts only in limited circumstances and only within the framework of Nigerian law.

These practices are transmitted through cultural upbringing and selectively invoked at specific social events most notably marriage, inheritance, and funerals but they do not govern daily life, do not operate as an independent body of law, and acquire relevance only where Nigerian parties voluntarily choose to adopt them. They have no inherent legal force and no coercive power outside the consent of the individuals involved.

This distinction between cultural practice and legal obligation is central to understanding why conflicts arise when families attempt to treat tradition as compulsory rather than voluntary.

Clarification:
Under Nigerian law, adult individuals do not require family consent to make personal life decisions, including marriage. Any practice that treats family approval as a condition precedent to an adult’s lawful marriage is repugnant to natural justice, equity, and good conscience and is legally void once rejected.

2. Selected Wedding Practices Across Six Nigerian Ethnic Groups

To illustrate how these practices function culturally but not legally, it is useful to examine wedding traditions from six Nigerian ethnic groups: three major groups (Yoruba, Igbo, Hausa) and three smaller groups selected for comparison (Tiv, Ibibio, and Nupe).

a. Yoruba

A prominent Yoruba wedding practice involves ritual prostration by the groom and his family before the bride’s extended family. Culturally, this act symbolises humility and respect and is often normalised from childhood within Yoruba communities.

For individuals from outside that cultural context, however, physical prostration may reasonably be experienced as humiliating or degrading. Crucially, refusal to perform prostration carries no legal consequence under Nigerian law.

Clarification:
Once an adult participant communicates refusal, any insistence that prostration is mandatory becomes repugnant to natural justice. Nigerian law does not recognise physical submission rituals as lawful prerequisites to marriage, nor does it permit families to impose bodily acts as conditions for adult legal capacity.

b. Igbo

Igbo wedding practices often emphasise extended family negotiations involving symbolic items such as kola nuts and palm wine. These rituals affirm communal recognition of marriage within the Igbo cultural context.

To outsiders, particularly those from individual-centred legal cultures, such involvement may feel intrusive. Refusal to participate, however, results only in social disapproval, not legal sanction.

Clarification:
Where “family consent” is presented as obligatory rather than ceremonial, it conflicts directly with Nigerian legal principles. Adults do not require third-party permission to marry, and any custom asserting otherwise has no legal effect.

c. Hausa

In Hausa communities, particularly where Islamic influence is strong, marriages may involve structured family participation and predefined roles. These arrangements are culturally normalised through upbringing.

Where such practices cross into coercion, they are constrained by higher legal norms. Consent remains legally determinative.

d. Tiv

Tiv wedding practices may involve symbolic exchanges between families and public rites signifying integration into lineage structures. These are culturally meaningful within the community but have no compulsory legal status.

e. Ibibio

Ibibio traditions may emphasise chastity, obedience, and family honour in marriage rituals. Historically significant, these practices are now legally limited by constitutional protections of dignity and consent.

f. Nupe

Nupe marriage practices often involve ceremonial affirmations of family alliances. While culturally significant, they are not legally binding.

3. Cultural Normalisation Versus Legal Reality

Across all six groups, a consistent pattern emerges:

Cultural practices are socially normalised within communities through upbringing.

The same practices may be experienced as offensive or coercive by outsiders.

This divergence does not create legal obligation. Nigerian law does not enforce cultural norms; it enforces rights.

Clarification:
There is a legal distinction between voluntary respect and compelled performance. Contemporary Nigerian courts increasingly treat many traditional wedding practices not as preserved tradition but as symbolic ego-stroking where participation is demanded rather than chosen. Once coercion is introduced, the practice loses legal protection as “custom.”

4. Legal Status: Recognition Without Obligation

There is no codified body of customary law in Nigeria. No statute mandates traditional rites, no schedule defines compulsory steps, and no punishment exists for refusal.

Judicial “recognition” of custom means only that a court may acknowledge a voluntarily adopted practice if it:

is not repugnant to natural justice, equity, and good conscience;

does not conflict with statutory law;

is not contrary to public policy.

Recognition does not create obligation.

Clarification:
Practices such as compulsory introductions, mandatory bride-price negotiations, or conditional acceptance based on family approval become legally void the moment refusal is expressed. Families possess no lawful authority to add conditions to adult lives.

5. Refusal Is Lawful; Coercion Is Punishable

There is no legal penalty in Nigeria for rejecting traditional wedding practices.

Conversely, family members who attempt to:

coerce participation;

threaten or intimidate;

unlawfully detain or harass;

interfere with lawful marriage choices;

may incur liability under:

criminal law (assault, threats, unlawful confinement);

civil law (harassment, breach of fundamental rights);

constitutional protections of dignity and liberty.

Clarification:
Bride price, when treated as compensation owed to a family for raising a child, is repugnant to natural justice. Nigerian law does not recognise parental entitlement to payment for children they voluntarily chose to have. Any demand framed as obligatory rather than symbolic has no legal standing.

6. Freedom of Choice Under Nigerian Law and Christianity

Both Nigerian statutory law and mainstream Christian doctrine emphasise free consent in marriage.

Despite this, many families act in contradiction to:

constitutional guarantees of freedom and dignity;

statutory marriage laws;

religious teachings on voluntary union.

This contradiction persists due to social pressure, not legal authority.

Clarification:
Families have no legal authority over:

whom an adult woman has consensual sexual relations with before marriage;

whom she becomes pregnant by or gives birth for;
and by direct legal extension, they have no authority over whom or how she marries later. Asserting control at marriage after having none beforehand represents a fundamental legal and moral inconsistency.

7. Nigeria’s Four Legal Frameworks

Nigeria operates within four recognised legal frameworks:

a. Federal Law

Derived from the Constitution and federal statutes.
Supreme and binding nationwide.

b. State Law

Applicable within individual states but subordinate to federal law.

c. Cultural Practices (Often Mislabelled “Customary Law”)

Uncodified, voluntary, and legally subordinate. Operative only by consent.

d. Sharia Law

Applicable in certain states and primarily to Muslims, subject to constitutional limits.

8. Legal Priority and Universality

Federal law, grounded in the Constitution, has absolute priority throughout Nigeria.
It is the only legal system mandatory for all persons, regardless of ethnicity, religion, or cultural background.

All other frameworks operate only by permission and only within limits.

Conclusion

What is commonly called “customary law” in Nigeria is not law in the coercive sense. It is optional cultural practice, recognised only where Nigerian adults freely choose it and rendered legally irrelevant the moment consent is withheld.

Where tradition conflicts with dignity, autonomy, or consent, Nigerian law is unequivocal: culture yields to constitutional supremacy.

The ongoing conflict surrounding traditional marriage practices is therefore not a legal issue, but a social one arising from the persistent misrepresentation of optional customs as mandatory law.
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Kobojunkie: 2:58pm On Dec 24, 2025
Fenrir:
Im disappointed in you Kobojunkie. The 1 Nigerian on here i believed held yourself to a higher standard. Anything.....

The hypocrite marriage attitude in Nigeria

The original Greek and Hebrew, Nigerian Christianity, and Nigerian law
How coercion violates scripture and law simultaneously

When practice contradicts text, appeals to “Christian values” or “biblical marriage” are false attribution.
When practice contradicts law as well, what remains is not religion or culture but unlawful social control.

Modern law did not invent consent, free will, or accountability.
It translated them.

Free will and accountability. Choice as the foundation of morality and law.

In Galatians 5:13, the Greek reads:

“τῇ ἐλευθερίᾳ ᾑλεὐθερώθητε…”
“For you were called to freedom…”

ἐλευθερία (eleutheria) means voluntary moral agency.
Not chaos. Not disobedience. Choice with responsibility.

The text replaces coercion with accountability.
People choose freely, then answer for those choices.

Nigerian contradiction

Religion is often enforced socially:

assumed belief

punished dissent

emotional coercion

This violates the text.

Nigerian law (federal)

1999 Constitution of Nigeria, Section 38

Freedom of thought, conscience, and religion

Includes freedom to change religion or hold none

Includes freedom from coercion

👉 The Constitution is a legal restatement of eleutheria.
Daily religious pressure violates both scripture and law.

Fear, hell, and control. Moral consequence, not psychological weapon.

The gospels use γέεννα (Gehenna) and ᾍδης (Hades).

Gehenna: a real valley, symbol of destruction or purification

Hades: the realm of the dead

Neither supports modern fear-based behavioural control.

Fear replaces accountability with compliance.

Nigerian contradiction

Hell is routinely used as:

threat

behavioural leash

social weapon

Nigerian law

Criminal Code & Penal Code

Threats and intimidation are offences

Coercion invalidates consent in civil and criminal contexts

👉 Law mirrors the original message:
Fear invalidates moral choice.

Authority inverted. Exousia becomes service, not domination.

Matthew 20:25–26:

“The rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them… but it shall not be so among you.”

ἐξουσία (exousia) is authority exercised responsibly, not domination.

John 13 linguistically inverts κύριος (kurios) when Jesus washes feet.

Nigerian contradiction

Religious and family authority is treated as:

unquestionable

absolute

disciplinary

Nigerian law

Constitution, Section 34

Right to dignity of the human person

Prohibits degrading treatment

👉 Absolute authority over adults violates both:

Christian exousia

Constitutional dignity

Teaching, not forcing. Religion as invitation.

Matthew 28:19:

μαθητεύσατε (matheteusate) teach, mentor

Mark 1:15:

“Repent and believe”

Both presuppose refusal.

Nigerian contradiction

Refusal treated as rebellion

Doubt punished

Compliance enforced

Nigerian law

Child Rights Act & Education Policy

Prohibits religious coercion

Protects freedom of belief even for minors

👉 Teaching without choice is illegal instruction, not education.

Tradition versus God. Culture does not outrank conscience.

Matthew 15:6:

παράδοσις (paradosis) — human tradition
“You nullify the word of God because of your tradition.”

This verse is Christianity’s internal override switch.

A tradition is automatically void when it contradicts moral law.

Nigerian contradiction

“Traditional marriage” treated as superior to:

court marriage

church marriage

mutual consent

Nigerian law

Marriage Act (federal)

Court marriage is fully valid nationwide

Customary rites are optional

No ritual confers extra legal validity

👉 Law follows the text:
Tradition is subordinate.

Lies and manipulation. No exemption for culture.

Hebrew law:

“You shall not bear false witness.”

Greek:

“The truth will set you free.”

Nigerian contradiction

Families claim:

rituals are mandatory

marriages invalid without them

spiritual consequences will follow refusal

Nigerian law

Fraud, misrepresentation, undue influence

Contracts obtained through deception are void

Consent obtained by falsehood is invalid

👉 Manipulation violates biblical ethics and contract law.

Marriage and weddings. Consent creates marriage, not ritual.

In the Bible, marriage forms through:

consent

covenant

responsibility

No ritual creates marriage by force.

Nigerian contradiction

Wedding rituals treated as:

compulsory

legitimising

authority-granting

Nigerian law

Marriage Act + Customary Courts

Marriage exists by consent and registration

Ceremonies are symbolic, not constitutive

No family has veto power over adult marriage

👉 Law reflects the original Christian model:
Choice creates covenant.

Bride price. Mohar is obligation, not purchase.

Hebrew:

מֹהַר (mohar) — obligation

not קָנָה (qanah) — to buy

Exodus 22:16–17:

Payment does not force marriage

Payment does not create ownership

Nigerian contradiction

Bride price treated as:

purchase

entitlement

authority over woman and children

Nigerian law

Customary Law + Supreme Court rulings

Bride price does NOT create ownership

Women are not property

Marriage is not a sale

👉 Law and Hebrew text agree:
Mohar ≠ ownership.

Children are not property.

Psalm 127:3:

“Children are a heritage…”

Greek:

κληρονομία (klēronomia) — stewardship

Nigerian contradiction

“If bride price is paid, children belong to the man.”

Nigerian law

Child Rights Act

Children are independent rights-holders

No parent “owns” a child

Best interest of the child overrides custom

👉 Cultural ownership claims violate:

Scripture

Statute

International law

Household and obedience. Honour ≠ submission.

Greek:

τιμάω (timaō) — honour

ὑπακούω (hypakouō) — obey

The text separates respect from obedience.

Nigerian contradiction

“Honour your parents” used to demand:

ritual compliance

marriage control

life decisions

Nigerian law

Constitution + Family Law

Adults owe no obedience to parents

Honour does not equal submission

👉 Law reflects the Greek distinction exactly.

Conscience and moral responsibility.

Romans 14:5:

συνείδησις (suneidēsis) — internal moral knowledge

Action without conviction is morally compromised.

Nigerian contradiction

Obedience without conviction is praised.

Nigerian law

Consent doctrine

Actions without free will lack legal validity

Coerced decisions are reversible

👉 Law formalises what the text already taught.

The Berean standard. Questioning authority is virtuous.

Acts 17:11:

Bereans praised for questioning religious authority

Nigerian contradiction

Questioning elders or pastors treated as moral failure.

Nigerian law

Freedom of expression

Right to question, criticise, dissent

No immunity for religious authority

👉 Law sides with the Bereans.

Ekklēsia. Voluntary assembly, not surveillance.

Greek:

ἐκκλησία (ekklēsia) — voluntary civic assembly

Nigerian contradiction

Church attendance enforced by:

family pressure

social surveillance

Nigerian law

Freedom of association

Attendance must be voluntary

No penalties for non-participation

👉 Law re-expresses ekklēsia in secular terms.

“Customary law.” Why it is not law — and why forcing it is punishable.

Customary law is often spoken of as if it were a parallel legal system equal to statutory or constitutional law. It is not.

There is no codified legal code for customary law for any of Nigeria’s:

371 tribes

260+ ethnic groups

No written statutes.
No unified jurisdiction.
No produced legal texts defining rights, procedures, offences, or penalties.

No one can produce a single complete legal code for “customary law” applicable even within one tribe, let alone nationally.

This reveals its true nature.

Customary law is not law.
It is a voluntary social system that operates only by consent.

It functions where:

all parties agree

participation is voluntary

exit is possible

The moment consent is removed, customary law ceases to exist as a legal concept.

A system with:

no codified rules

no enforceable neutrality

no guaranteed protections

cannot compel behaviour.

The legal boundary Nigerians routinely cross.

Here is the distinction ignored daily:

Customary law itself cannot be enforced

Forcing or manipulating people under the banner of “customary law” is legally enforceable against those who attempt it

The law does not recognise “customary law” as a power to compel adults.

It does recognise:

coercion

intimidation

fraud

undue influence

harassment

So when families attempt to force rituals, marriages, obedience, or compliance — they are not exercising customary law.

They are committing recognised legal acts, for which liability attaches to:

the family members involved

intermediaries who applied pressure

anyone who misrepresented law or consequences

Invoking “customary law” does not create authority.

It creates exposure.

The convergence with scripture and law.

This mirrors the same kill switch embedded in both systems:

Christianity voids tradition that nullifies justice

Nigerian law voids custom repugnant to natural justice

Custom survives only when it is:

chosen

harmless

non-coercive

Once forced, both systems reject it.

Final synthesis

Christianity’s original message is not anti-law.
Law is its secular translation.

Free will → consent

Agapē → voluntary obligation

Exousia → accountable authority

Conscience → legal capacity

Covenant → contract

Stewardship → rights

What is routinely violated in Nigeria is not Christianity alone.

It is:

Christian ethics

Federal law

State law

International human-rights law

All at once.

The system persists because:

culture enforces what law forbids

religion legitimises what scripture rejects

This is not belief vs unbelief.

It is:

Text + Law vs Social Control

And both the Bible and the Nigerian Constitution say the same thing:

Without consent, nothing is valid
.
Everyone of your Christian practices and Traditions stands in direct violation of that text. 🥱🥱🥱
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Fenrir(m): 3:28pm On Dec 24, 2025
Kobojunkie:
Everyone of your Christian practices and Traditions stands in direct violation of that text. 🥱🥱🥱
Im atheist and im quoting the original Greek and Hebrew not translations of translations of translations. So get your facts right please.
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Kobojunkie: 3:35pm On Dec 24, 2025
Fenrir:
✓ Im atheist and im quoting the original Greek and Hebrew not translations of translations of translations. So get your facts right please.
It does not matter what you choose to quote as I made myself clear that Christianity is a religion that looks nothing like what is written in those texts, even where it concerns the issue of mariage and submission. What you find in most religions is an idea much closer to what is considered the traditional route if marriage where we are all aware that the woman is lower on the hierarchy than the man. 🥱🥱
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Fenrir(m): 3:41pm On Dec 24, 2025
Kobojunkie:
Everyone of your Christian practices and Traditions stands in direct violation of that text. 🥱🥱🥱
Little man, im going to explain the difference between me and you by telling you how im raising my daughter in Nigeria and the religious section ive posted on here before

☺️ and found a 7 month old staffy here.

First of all her safety and education are my number 1 priority.

She has 4 dogs that obey her every word and go EVERYWHERE she goes

1) this little mutt thing "the eyes"
2) a rottweiler "the body"
3) a Staffordshire bull terrier "the heart and soul
4) a border collie "the brain"

I removed the food drive from them

Kibble access 24/7
1 cooked meal per day "Whatever meat i get that day, vegetables and then the ancient black rice"
Liver jerky I make myself and all they need to do is ask

Someone can throw steak or anything and they will not care at all

I imprinted them onto her
Shes the reward, just being around her and protecting her and obeying her is the reward

Shes the master and above me, im just the owner "vet bills and food"

Her economy

I want to explain the allowance and learning system I’ve set up for hilda so you understand why it is structured this way. It’s not spoiling it’s designed to teach responsibility, independence, and real-world skills safely.

1️⃣ Universal Basic Allowance (UBI)

She receives £50 per month, guaranteed, no matter what. "Around 90,000 naira"

This is her economic foundation, giving her autonomy safely at age 8.

2️⃣ Merit-Based Incentives

Positive actions add to her allowance:

Doing what’s right = +10%

Helping without being asked = +10%

Creative or ethical actions that make dad proud = +100%

These bonuses stack and reset monthly.

3️⃣ Consequences for Negative Actions

Misbehavior or breaking rules subtracts from bonus earnings:

Minor bad behavior = -10%

Bullying = -10%

Major disappointment/breaking the social contract = -100%

The guaranteed £50 never goes below zero, ensuring safety.

4️⃣ Pet Responsibility

She chose micro hamsters. I provide the cage, substrate, and water.

She is responsible for care, cleaning, food, and toys.

This teaches empathy, routine, accountability, and observation.

5️⃣ Resource Management & Creative Learning

She purchased a second-hand food dehydrator to preserve fruit and vegetables.

She supplements the hamsters’ diet with dehydrated food and hamster pellets (costing the equivalent of ~£1.50/month).

She learned nutrition, resource efficiency, and planning.

For toys, she selects materials from my workshop and participates in building them.

Labor for toys is rewarded with small treats (e.g., jelly babies), teaching work reward, bartering, and the value of labor.

6️⃣ Micro-Economy & Civic Lessons

She has a garden allotment: whatever she grows can be sold to neighbors at low prices, with unsold items bought by me.

Earnings above the £50 UBI are taxed 14% into a fund for her first car, teaching civic contribution and delayed gratification.

She must save 5% minimum of any extra earnings, building financial responsibility and a backup fund.

7️⃣ Key Life Skills Learned

Decision-making & accountability

Resource & financial management

Ethics, responsibility, and civic duty

Entrepreneurship and understanding markets

Delayed gratification and planning for future needs

Creative problem solving and labor value

Summary:
This system gives her the economic power of an adult safely, and allows her to learn responsibility, ethics, and real-world skills long before she reaches adolescence. It is not spoiling, but a structured way to teach independence, empathy, and literary
If you are a mathematician then you should understand

She "asked to be Christian" so her atheist dad is teaching her real Christianity

Free will. In Galatians 5:13, the Greek reads
“τῇ ἐλευθερίᾳ ᾑλεὐθερώθητε, ἀλλ’ μὴ τὴν ἐλευθερίαν εἰς σάρκα ἐκμεταλλευόμενοι, ἀλλ’ δι’ ἀγάπην ἀλλήλους δουλεύετε” “For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters, only do not use your freedom for selfish purposes but through love serve one another.”
The word ἐλευθερία (eleutheria) emphasizes voluntary choice. People are encouraged to live ethically (ἀρετή, arete) and follow conscience. The concept of eternal punishment as coercion is not in the earliest texts. Gehenna (γέεννα) appears in the gospels as a moral consequence, not as a threat to force belief.

Fear, control, and dominance. Jesus’ ministry focused on teaching (διδάσκω, didasko), helping, and healing (θεραπεύω, therapeuo). He never sought political power in the earliest gospels. Matthew 10:8 states
“θεραπεύετε ἀσθενεῖς, καθαρίζετε λεπρούς, ἐγείρετε νεκρούς” “Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead.”
This shows voluntary service, not domination. Historical expansions through empires came centuries later.

Imposing religion. The Greek command μαθητεύσατε (matheteusate) in Matthew 28:19 literally means “make disciples” in the sense of teaching and mentoring. Mark 1:15 reads
“μετανοεῖτε καὶ πιστεύετε ἐν τῷ εὐαγγελίῳ” “Repent and believe in the gospel,” which is an invitation, not a forced command.

Tribal laws and cultural superiority. When the text discusses sinful ways (ἁμαρτία, hamartia), it refers to moral failings like theft, murder, or injustice, not entire cultures. Matthew 15:11 states
“οὐ τὸ εἰσερχόμενον εἰς τὸ στόμα κοινοῖ τὸν ἄνθρωπον, ἀλλὰ τὸ ἐκπορευόμενον ἐκ τοῦ στόματος τοῦ ἀνθρώπου” “It is not what enters the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth.”
Jesus interacts with different groups without demanding they abandon their culture.

Spiritual truth and cultural dominance. Christianity in the original writings is a personal ethical path. Luke 9:23 reads
“εἶπεν δὲ πρὸς πάντας· ἐὰν θέλη τις ὀπίσω μου ἔρχεσθαι, ἀπαρνησάσθω ἑαυτὸν καὶ ἀράτω τὸν σταυρὸν αὐτοῦ καθ’ ἡμέραν καὶ ἀκολουθείτω μοι” “If anyone wants to come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.”
The verb ἀκολουθείτω (akoloutheo) emphasizes voluntary personal following, not cultural domination.

Free will and freedom of conscience. Romans 14:5-6 reads
“ἕκαστος ἑαυτῷ πείθεται ἐν τῇ διανοίᾳ αὐτοῦ” “Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.”
The Greek word συνείδησις (suneidesis) stresses personal responsibility. Following teachings is voluntary. Coercion and punishment appear only later, not in the original texts.

Rights to choose, think, speak, and worship. 1 Corinthians 10:29 states
“οὐ τὸν ἄνθρωπον ἀνακρίνω” “I am not judging the person.”
Acts 17:11 praises the Bereans
“εἰσὶν δὲ ἐπουράνιοι ἐξετάζοντες τὰς γραφάς καθ’ ἡμέραν” “They examined the Scriptures every day.”
Individuals are encouraged to study and decide for themselves. There is no mandate to enforce obedience or suppress thought.

Crusades and persecution. The earliest manuscripts contain no instructions to use violence. Matthew 5:16 reads
“οὕτως λαμψάτω τὸ φῶς ὑμῶν ἔμπροσθεν τῶν ἀνθρώπων” “Let your light shine before others.”
The original emphasis is on teaching, guidance, and building community through example. Historical crusades, forced conversions, and persecution came centuries later.

When you strip away centuries of political influence, cultural overlays, and human errors, the original message of the Bible is clear. It is an invitation to live a life of personal ἀρετή (virtue) and voluntary service (δουλεύετε). The texts emphasize the right to think independently (Romans 14:5) and the need for personal commitment (Luke 9:23). Historical abuses like the Crusades or forced conversions are later deviations and have no foundation in the earliest manuscripts. Claims that the Bible’s original purpose was coercion, control, or cultural dominance are not supported by its own Greek and Hebrew words.

She asked to learn mma so im teaching her myself "starting with judo"

Fella before shes 12 she will be an ethical ceo alpha warrior monk with her own pack

Basically unstoppable

Because she asked for it all and its my duty
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Kobojunkie: 3:47pm On Dec 24, 2025
Fenrir:
✓ [size=6 pt] Little man, im going to explain the difference between me and you by telling you how im raising my daughter in Nigeria and the religious section ive posted on here before
☺️ and found a 7 month old staffy here.
First of all her safety and education are my number 1 priority.
She has 4 dogs that obey her every word and go EVERYWHERE she goes
1) this little mutt thing "the eyes"
2) a rottweiler "the body"
3) a Staffordshire bull terrier "the heart and soul
4) a border collie "the brain"

I removed the food drive from them

Kibble access 24/7
1 cooked meal per day "Whatever meat i get that day, vegetables and then the ancient black rice"
Liver jerky I make myself and all they need to do is ask
Someone can throw steak or anything and they will not care at all
I imprinted them onto her
Shes the reward, just being around her and protecting her and obeying her is the reward
Shes the master and above me, im just the owner "vet bills and food"
Her economy
I want to explain the allowance and learning system I’ve set up for hilda so you understand why it is structured this way. It’s not spoiling it’s designed to teach responsibility, independence, and real-world skills safely.
1️⃣ Universal Basic Allowance (UBI)
She receives £50 per month, guaranteed, no matter what. "Around 90,000 naira"
This is her economic foundation, giving her autonomy safely at age 8.
2️⃣ Merit-Based Incentives
Positive actions add to her allowance:
Doing what’s right = +10%
Helping without being asked = +10%
Creative or ethical actions that make dad proud = +100%
These bonuses stack and reset monthly.
3️⃣ Consequences for Negative Actions
Misbehavior or breaking rules subtracts from bonus earnings:
Minor bad behavior = -10%
Bullying = -10%
Major disappointment/breaking the social contract = -100%
The guaranteed £50 never goes below zero, ensuring safety.
4️⃣ Pet Responsibility
She chose micro hamsters. I provide the cage, substrate, and water.
She is responsible for care, cleaning, food, and toys.
This teaches empathy, routine, accountability, and observation.
5️⃣ Resource Management & Creative Learning
She purchased a second-hand food dehydrator to preserve fruit and vegetables.
She supplements the hamsters’ diet with dehydrated food and hamster pellets (costing the equivalent of ~£1.50/month).
She learned nutrition, resource efficiency, and planning.
For toys, she selects materials from my workshop and participates in building them.
Labor for toys is rewarded with small treats (e.g., jelly babies), teaching work reward, bartering, and the value of labor.
6️⃣ Micro-Economy & Civic Lessons
She has a garden allotment: whatever she grows can be sold to neighbors at low prices, with unsold items bought by me.
Earnings above the £50 UBI are taxed 14% into a fund for her first car, teaching civic contribution and delayed gratification.
She must save 5% minimum of any extra earnings, building financial responsibility and a backup fund.
7️⃣ Key Life Skills Learned
Decision-making & accountability
Resource & financial management
Ethics, responsibility, and civic duty
Entrepreneurship and understanding markets
Delayed gratification and planning for future needs
Creative problem solving and labor value
Summary:
This system gives her the economic power of an adult safely, and allows her to learn responsibility, ethics, and real-world skills long before she reaches adolescence. It is not spoiling, but a structured way to teach independence, empathy, and literary
If you are a mathematician then you should understand

She "asked to be Christian" so her atheist dad is teaching her real Christianity
Free will. In Galatians 5:13, the Greek reads
“τῇ ἐλευθερίᾳ ᾑλεὐθερώθητε, ἀλλ’ μὴ τὴν ἐλευθερίαν εἰς σάρκα ἐκμεταλλευόμενοι, ἀλλ’ δι’ ἀγάπην ἀλλήλους δουλεύετε” “For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters, only do not use your freedom for selfish purposes but through love serve one another.”
The word ἐλευθερία (eleutheria) emphasizes voluntary choice. People are encouraged to live ethically (ἀρετή, arete) and follow conscience. The concept of eternal punishment as coercion is not in the earliest texts. Gehenna (γέεννα) appears in the gospels as a moral consequence, not as a threat to force belief.
Fear, control, and dominance. Jesus’ ministry focused on teaching (διδάσκω, didasko), helping, and healing (θεραπεύω, therapeuo). He never sought political power in the earliest gospels. Matthew 10:8 states
“θεραπεύετε ἀσθενεῖς, καθαρίζετε λεπρούς, ἐγείρετε νεκρούς” “Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead.”
This shows voluntary service, not domination. Historical expansions through empires came centuries later.
Imposing religion. The Greek command μαθητεύσατε (matheteusate) in Matthew 28:19 literally means “make disciples” in the sense of teaching and mentoring. Mark 1:15 reads
“μετανοεῖτε καὶ πιστεύετε ἐν τῷ εὐαγγελίῳ” “Repent and believe in the gospel,” which is an invitation, not a forced command.
Tribal laws and cultural superiority. When the text discusses sinful ways (ἁμαρτία, hamartia), it refers to moral failings like theft, murder, or injustice, not entire cultures. Matthew 15:11 states
“οὐ τὸ εἰσερχόμενον εἰς τὸ στόμα κοινοῖ τὸν ἄνθρωπον, ἀλλὰ τὸ ἐκπορευόμενον ἐκ τοῦ στόματος τοῦ ἀνθρώπου” “It is not what enters the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth.”
Jesus interacts with different groups without demanding they abandon their culture.
Spiritual truth and cultural dominance. Christianity in the original writings is a personal ethical path. Luke 9:23 reads
“εἶπεν δὲ πρὸς πάντας· ἐὰν θέλη τις ὀπίσω μου ἔρχεσθαι, ἀπαρνησάσθω ἑαυτὸν καὶ ἀράτω τὸν σταυρὸν αὐτοῦ καθ’ ἡμέραν καὶ ἀκολουθείτω μοι” “If anyone wants to come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.”
The verb ἀκολουθείτω (akoloutheo) emphasizes voluntary personal following, not cultural domination.

Free will and freedom of conscience. Romans 14:5-6 reads
“ἕκαστος ἑαυτῷ πείθεται ἐν τῇ διανοίᾳ αὐτοῦ” “Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.”
The Greek word συνείδησις (suneidesis) stresses personal responsibility. Following teachings is voluntary. Coercion and punishment appear only later, not in the original texts.

Rights to choose, think, speak, and worship. 1 Corinthians 10:29 states
“οὐ τὸν ἄνθρωπον ἀνακρίνω” “I am not judging the person.”
Acts 17:11 praises the Bereans
“εἰσὶν δὲ ἐπουράνιοι ἐξετάζοντες τὰς γραφάς καθ’ ἡμέραν” “They examined the Scriptures every day.”
Individuals are encouraged to study and decide for themselves. There is no mandate to enforce obedience or suppress thought.

Crusades and persecution. The earliest manuscripts contain no instructions to use violence. Matthew 5:16 reads
“οὕτως λαμψάτω τὸ φῶς ὑμῶν ἔμπροσθεν τῶν ἀνθρώπων” “Let your light shine before others.”
The original emphasis is on teaching, guidance, and building community through example. Historical crusades, forced conversions, and persecution came centuries later.

When you strip away centuries of political influence, cultural overlays, and human errors, the original message of the Bible is clear. It is an invitation to live a life of personal ἀρετή (virtue) and voluntary service (δουλεύετε). The texts emphasize the right to think independently (Romans 14:5) and the need for personal commitment (Luke 9:23). Historical abuses like the Crusades or forced conversions are later deviations and have no foundation in the earliest manuscripts. Claims that the Bible’s original purpose was coercion, control, or cultural dominance are not supported by its own Greek and Hebrew words.
She asked to learn mma so im teaching her myself "starting with judo"
Fella before shes 12 she will be an ethical ceo alpha warrior monk with her own pack
Basically unstoppable
Because she asked for it all and its my duty[/size]
None of this has anything to do with the topic of marriage and submission under religion. Please focus on those here. Again, as I said, the ideas put forward by pretty much all religions regarding mirage tend to mirror local traditional motions of marriage and submission for women in most every detail. 🤔🤔
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Fenrir(m): 3:49pm On Dec 24, 2025
Kobojunkie:
None of this has anything to do with the topic of marriage and submission under religion. Please focus on those here. Again, as I said, the ideas put forward by pretty much all religions regarding mirage tend to mirror local traditional motions of marriage and submission for women in most every detail. 🤔🤔
Yes it does, if you cared about your kids then you would not want them submitting to anyone at all, and original Christianity was about free choice and voluntary service NOT submission
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Fenrir(m): 3:51pm On Dec 24, 2025
Kobojunkie:
None of this has anything to do with the topic of marriage and submission under religion. Please focus on those here. Again, as I said, the ideas put forward by pretty much all religions regarding mirage tend to mirror local traditional motions of marriage and submission for women in most every detail. 🤔🤔
Actually read the greek and explanations not just skip past it in arrogance and 6 foot? Ok little man grow another 7 inches and we'll be equals
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Kobojunkie: 3:59pm On Dec 24, 2025
Fenrir:
✓ Actually read the greek and explanations not just skip past it in arrogance and 6 foot? Ok little man grow another 7 inches and we'll be equals
Nothing of what I stated hinted at the language of the text being of issue, so I am uncertain why you keep pushing the Greek in my face as though it changes anything.🥱🥱🥱

Go back and reread what I have written to get a clear understanding of what I said and how nothing of what you wrote connects still. 🥱🥱🥱
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Fenrir(m): 4:06pm On Dec 24, 2025
Kobojunkie:
Nothing of what I stated hinted at the language of the text being of issue, so I am uncertain why you keep pushing the Greek in my face as though it changes anything.🥱🥱🥱

Go back and reread what I have written to get a clear understanding of what I said and how nothing of what you wrote connects still. 🥱🥱🥱
None of you are Christian thats the point. None of you practice Christianity at all take the devil as an example = didn't exist in Christianity it was 3 separate ideas that were merged together when a corrupted version became popular.

My point is... learn the origins before you criticise and judge that goes for your "cultures and traditions as well" none of it is traditional in religion or culture its all watered down and 1 sided hypocrite modern interpretations. And when it comes to Nigeria its a huge cascade effect happening.
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Kobojunkie: 4:07pm On Dec 24, 2025
Fenrir:
✓ Yes it does, if you cared about your kids then you would not want them submitting to anyone at all, and original Christianity was about free choice and voluntary service NOT submission
I care about my kids but this discussion has nothing to do with them so, let's focus. undecided

2. Service first requires submission which if you reason it carefully makes sense. But in your bid to distance yourself from the lives wore,you hastily ignore this element. If I wish to serve someone, I must submit myself to something in order to accomplish that. Christians believe the husband is the head over a wife -- the one she submits to -- in order to serve him. 🥱🥱

Single women do not have husbands hence they are not supposed to submit to any man. That should ordinarily be the case, however, the same religion instead set their gods of men -- pastors, popes, GOs, etc., -- as heads/gods to whom women should submit to aka serve. Literally, no woman is exempt from having a man over her head in that religion like all other religions out there. (Not much different from traditional ideas where no woman is ever free of the monitoring of men.) 🥱🥱
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Fenrir(m): 4:13pm On Dec 24, 2025
Kobojunkie:
I care about my kids but this discussion has nothing to do with them so, let's focus. undecided

2. Service first requires submission which if you reason it carefully makes sense. But in your bid to distance yourself from the lives wore,you hastily ignore this element. If I wish to serve someone, I must submit myself to something in order to accomplish that. Christians believe the husband is the head over a wife -- the one she submits to -- in order to serve him. 🥱🥱

Single women do not have husbands hence they are not supposed to submit to any man. That should ordinarily be the case, however, the same religion instead set their gods of men -- pastors, popes, GOs, etc., -- as heads/gods to whom women should submit to aka serve. Literally, no woman is exempt from having a man over her head in that religion like all other religions out there. (Not much different from traditional ideas where no woman is ever free of the monitoring of men.) 🥱🥱
Nice AI use fella.
But the misunderstanding is happening because im talking original Christianity

Voluntary service
No submission
Question everything

You are talking the modern corruptions, if you cant see the bigger picture and identify WHEN cultures started corrupting it to submission this debate is pointless.

Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Kobojunkie: 4:13pm On Dec 24, 2025
Fenrir:
✓ None of you are Christian thats the point. None of you practice Christianity at all take the devil as an example = didn't exist in Christianity it was 3 separate ideas that were merged together when a corrupted version became popular.
✓ My point is... learn the origins before you criticise and judge that goes for your "cultures and traditions as well" none of it is traditional in religion or culture its all watered down and 1 sided hypocrite modern interpretations. And when it comes to Nigeria its a huge cascade effect happening.
1. I don't need to be a Christian to realize the fraud that is Christianity and all other religions out there. 🥱🥱🥱

2. I definitely know the origins of Christianity and know for a fact that it is not directly or indirectly connected with the people written about in that book of books called the Bible. undecided

Christianity( or Catholicism, the origins of it) was born out of a need by Romans of the time to fraudulently use the popularity of a group once despised by the Romans to usurp power in Rome. And that is what happened. What you have today is the result of another attempt made by those referred to as Protestants to usurp power for themselves from the vast power that existed only to those in Rome back in the 1600s 🥱🥱🥱
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Fenrir(m): 4:18pm On Dec 24, 2025
Kobojunkie:
1. I don't need to be a Christian to realize the fraud that is Christianity and all other religions out there. 🥱🥱🥱

2. I definitely know the origins of Christianity and know for a fact that it is not directly or indirectly connected with the people written about in that book of books called the Bible. undecided

Christianity or the origins of it was born out of a need by Romans of the time to fraudulently use the popularity of a group once despised by the Romans to usurp power in Rome. And that is what happened. What you have today is the result of another attempt made by those referred to as Protestants to usurp power for themselves from the vast power that existed only to those in Rome back in the 1600s 🥱🥱🥱
In reality it had nothing to do with Romans. Christianity is an offshoot of the Jewish faith. Christ was a Jew and Christians are not the same religion as him. They are followers of Christ "his teachings but not of the same belief"

Judaism 🔜 Christianity 🔜 Islam
The 3 Abrahamic religions and it all starts with "ze jews"
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Kobojunkie: 4:22pm On Dec 24, 2025
Fenrir:
✓ Nice AI use fella. But the misunderstanding is happening because im talking original Christianity
✓ Voluntary service No submission Question everything
✓ You are talking the modern corruptions, if you cant see the bigger picture and identify WHEN cultures started corrupting it to submission this debate is pointless.
1. . But I don't use Ai. I literally type out every word I can and use text correction to correct my spelling mistakes where possible. It seems to me either your AI plagiarism detector is broken --- also think you are too obsessed with it -- or you are not configuring it correctly. undecided

2. Voluntary service is also a.form of submission. Either you are submitting to the terms set by the organization you volunteer with or you submit to some inner desire of yours to serve others believing it is good that counts towards something bigger than yourself. Again, service/slavery is born from submission. 🥱🥱

3. There is nothing like modern corruption. The religion has been corrupt from its beginnings -- the very first non-israelites who took it on themselves to high Jack the ideas espoused by the original Israelites for the purpose of their own benefit and greed in Rome -- it was all political from its beginnings. 🥱🥱
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Kobojunkie: 4:29pm On Dec 24, 2025
Fenrir:
✓ In reality it had nothing to do with Romans. Christianity is an offshoot of the Jewish faith. Christ was a Jew and Christians are not the same religion as him. They are followers of Christ "his teachings but not of the same belief"
✓ Judaism 🔜 Christianity 🔜 Islam
The 3 Abrahamic religions and it all starts with "ze jews"
What you have today as the religion of Christianity is a part of the political movement started by Romans back towards the end of the Ist century AD. There was also the political movement that attempted usurping the gods of the Grecians but that movement was eventually overtaken by the movement that attempted usurping the ideas of the Israelites at the time. undecided

2. Completely wrong given that the God of Abraham made it clear that His chosen people were the descendants of Jacob to whom He gave the name Israel to. Recall His name YHWH points the Him being God of Israel...not God of the Greeks or Rome or America but Israel, the bloodline He marked using His name as His own.🥱🥱
Re: The Way Nigerian Men Misuse ‘submission’ Would Shock Our Forefathers by Fenrir(m): 4:29pm On Dec 24, 2025
Kobojunkie:
1. . But I don't use Ai. I literally type out every word I can and use text correction to correct my spelling mistakes where possible. It seems to me either your AI plagiarism detector is broken --- also think you are too obsessed with it -- or you are not configuring it correctly. undecided

2. Voluntary service is also a.form of submission. Either you are submitting to the terms set by the organization you volunteer with or you submit to some inner desire of yours to serve others believing it is good that counts towards something bigger than yourself. Again, service/slavery is born from submission. 🥱🥱

3. There is nothing like modern corruption. The religion has been corrupt from its beginnings -- the very first non-israelites who took it on themselves to high Jack the ideas espoused by the original Israelites for the purpose of their own benefit and greed in Rome -- it was all political from its beginnings. 🥱🥱
Voluntary service is not the same as submission
When I joined the military I volunteered to serve the country not submit to it. At every point I had the legal right to refuse an order because im the one that had to pull the trigger and face the consequences and its the same principle for original Christianity. The reason you have submission stuck in your brain is the African upbringing not the religion use Europe as the framework. Same modern Christianity same bibles but do we going around expecting and demanding submission? Nope, Just the weird red pill tate worshippers.
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