₦airaland Forum

immortalcrown:
Before your question will be answered, you should first of all tell us why It is difficult for you to share one room with your wife. That you grew up in a family where husband and wife do not share rooms is not an excuse. What exactly makes you uncomfortable in sharing your room with your wife?

The funny thing is that many of the men that do not share rooms with their wives spend a whole night with a prostitute or side chick on one bed.

WantsandMore:
There's a scientific study observed in "Common sense of sex." Written by a British behavioral psychologist citing the works of freud, carl jung et al, that too frequent contact with your wife could lead to separation and perhaps the most effective ways to live a longer and fulfilling marriage is to have some sorts of systemic distance, like seperate bed rooms etc.in my observation of Nigeria's pre-colonial history, our fore fathers adopted this type of living, it was even more common amongst the men with multiple wives and slaves etc. so I wonder how the living in thesame bed room as your wife crept into modern lifestyle probably something we adopted from colonialism and in comparison our fore fathers lived far more longer with their wives compared to the spate of divorce, hence, I wonder if it's enough evidence to support the assertion of seperate bedrooms 🤔

PDJT:
- Hmm. I suppose a man can share a night with a prostitute or side chick in a bed, and perhaps pay her to leave in the morning, but sharing a room for longer with personal belongings in the same room is on another level.

- Well, I found the experience of sharing the double bed and bathroom inconvenient. I thought we were constantly on each others way.

immortalcrown:
Self centeredness!

Marriage is about sacrifice and commitment. If you cannot share a room with your wife, I reserve my comment.

PDJT:
- Or rather self-preservation. Thanks for your meaningful contributions.

immortalcrown:
Self denial is not self preservation.

Onegai:
Share a room with your wife.

Whilst some couple swear it works for them (especially Western couples) and says it makes them "happier", I'm nowadays very suspicious of Modern Western Philosophy. You see, it's very changeable.

In the past, their elites had McMansions and married for business purposes. They considered "Love" to be something lower classes did and liked Separate Lives always, including Separate Bedrooms. Then Queen Victoria loved her husband and it became fashionable to love your spouse. Now, they're back to being selfish and self-indulgent, so we're back to separate bedrooms.

Your African ancestors did the same thing because they married for multiple farm workers...I mean, wives to bear children

But nowadays, you don't marry for multiple farm workers, you marry for companionship.

My cousin literally has 2 beds in his room, one for him and his wife. But still in the same room.

And I've heard of men who died silently at night, alone. Why should a wife leave her room to be checking on you when you're sleeping, if you wanted her to do so, you should have shared a room.

If my husband asks me to sleep in a separate room because he thinks I'm crowding him, that's fine.

But he better know how to save himself if he has a Cardiac Arrest or a Heart Attack.

He also better keep his phone charged and pray MTN and Airtel always have service and my phone isn't on DND or Silent, so he can call me if he needs help, since he wants to live a separate life.

Grace to all.

PDJT:
- Hmm. I suppose a man can share a night with a prostitute or side chick in a bed, and perhaps pay her to leave in the morning, but sharing a room for longer with personal belongings in the same room is on another level.

- Well, I found the experience of sharing the double bed and bathroom inconvenient. I thought we were constantly on each others way.

sisisioge:
I like how you liken your conjugal relationship with your wife/wives with being with prostitutes. It shows exactly why you found sharing a room with one of them weird. As a mind enthusiast, no further explanation should be required.


Polygamous relationships is mainly transactional....what's love got to do with it

Samantha125:
My husband is a cuddler/ touchy feely type, I'd wake up in the middle of the night and find him all over me like a soldier trying to prevent me from escaping captivity... ... And if I stay up till late, he'll sometimes come and fetch me to bed, so I don't see the idea of separate bedrooms being possible in my case... I'm not gonna lie, for someone who likes keeping my personal space to myself, it was a weird experience for me in the beginning, I'd wonder why he couldn't keep his hands to himself... ... With time, I learnt to understand him, compromise, adjust, enjoy it, and reciprocate.

But we don't share the same closet, laundry basket, and drawers... If sharing the bed and bathroom with your spouse is an inconvenience, then do you clean the bathroom and make the bed yourself?

We4all:
Lol.... people love marriages, but hate the inconvenience, sacrifice and burdens that comes with it. They want to eat their cake, but still want to keep it at the same time.

The OP even mentioned "wives", and that got me thinking real hard. Imagine a contemporary man practicing polygamy....

Love800:
It seems weird to me sharing room with my wife. I think the nigeria economy or lifestyle is the reason behind dis, because most family men dont have enough money to rent a house with so much rooms, or difficulty in building four-bedroom flat!

PDJT:
- Good on you for your understanding and compromise. I guess it works because you have two duvets and it's just the two of you. I wonder why you don't share closet, laundry basket and drawers with him.

- I have a peculiar way of making my bed, so I do that myself. But the missuses do the cleaning and laundering.

immortalcrown:
Before your question will be answered, you should first of all tell us why It is difficult for you to share one room with your wife. That you grew up in a family where husband and wife do not share rooms is not an excuse. What exactly makes you uncomfortable in sharing your room with your wife?

The funny thing is that many of the men that do not share rooms with their wives spend a whole night with a prostitute or side chick on one bed.

lol…side chick ke!

Samantha125:
It's actually a big walk in closet, the right side is his while the left side is mine, so it's more like two separate closets... Our items are more organised and neatly put like that.

How come she doesn't inconvenience you when it comes to cleaning both the bedroom and bathroom? Because if someone's presence inconvenienced me, I wouldn't even allow them to step a foot into my bedroom.

Starz825:
its kinda weird that some married pple dont share rooms with their partners

omooo.....

ravensckar:
I and my wife are inseparable, hence, I doubt we'll be able to live in separate rooms.

Even though she has her own room, you'll always find her in mine. At first, I found it weird, but now, I'm used to it. I believe it's the reason why we've grown stronger.

Although it can be a bit challenging because we have different preferences...

naijaboiy:
lol…side chick ke!

PDJT:
✓ The practice can be challenging but it's worth the stress if you have self-respect and can maintain boundary.

PDJT:
- So it's the festive season, and due to travels and family engagements I had to share a room with one of my wives, it wasn't a pleasant experience to say the least. So that brings me to my question: Men Who Share Room with their Wife/Wives, How Do You Guys Do It?

Thanks in advance for your contributions, guys.


Note: I come from a family where married couples do not share rooms. Never witness my parents or uncles do it. So this is a new experience for me. Hence, my question. Cc: RoyalRoy

PDJT:
- So how long have you been inseparable for, and how do you manage the challenges in view of your different preferences?

ravensckar:
We've been married for about 9 years. We're so close that you'll hardly find one of us without the other. My family members don complain tire.

Managing our different preferences has been a case of UNDERSTANDING & TOLERANCE. We have different preferences, yet, we still find ways to manage them. My wife likes to sleep with the lights on, but I prefer darkness. She likes A.C, I prefer the fan. She likes to mess up the house only to clean it later, me I prefer to clean it almost immediately. Sometimes, I'll let her sleep off first before turning off the lights and the AC.

Also, if I want her to run away from my room and leave me alone, it's very simple; I'll start farting uncontrollably. My wife hates the sound and smell of fart.

dollypi:
It raises your estrogen levels. A man should have his own room. To each his own.

Having your own space helps