Cultural Fraud In Practice - Culture - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Culture › Cultural Fraud In Practice (731 Views)
| Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 4:11pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Yoruba "we dont sell our daughters" nonsense Actually fraud under Nigerian law "misrepresentation" The "misdirection" often lies in the public return of a tiny symbolic amount (₦5,000) while the groom has already paid dozens of "hidden" administrative fees to specific family members. Example of a "Real" Modern Yoruba Engagement List (2025) This list reflects contemporary demands where symbolic items are paired with high end luxury goods and granular cash requirements. The "Hidden" Cash Envelopes (Mandatory Payments) These are separate from the bride price and are rarely "returned." Owo Ikanlekun (Door Knocking) ₦10,000 to ₦20,000 Owo Baba Gbo (Father’s Consent) ₦10,000 to ₦50,000 Owo Iya Gbo (Mother’s Consent) ₦10,000 to ₦50,000 Owo Iyawo Ile (Family Wives): ₦10,000 to ₦20,000 (To "allow" the bride to leave) Owo Omo Ile (Family Youth/Children): ₦5,000 to ₦15,000 Owo Agba (Elders Consent): ₦10,000 to ₦30,000 Owo Aeroplane (Transportation Fee) ₦5,000 to ₦10,000 (Symbolic fee for "moving" the bride) Owo Alaga (MCs Coordinators): ₦20,000 to ₦100,000+ Fees for the traditional MCs Modern Luxury Material Items Instead of just yams and honey, modern lists often specify high end brands and gadgets. Luggage: 2 to 3 high end Designer Suitcases (Samsonite or luxury leather) filled with clothes. Tech, 1 High end Smartphone (often an iPhone 15/16 or Samsung S-series) for the bride. Jewelry, 1 Full set of Gold jewelry, necklace, earrings, bracelet Watches, Matching designer watches for the bride and her parents. Fabrics, 2 to 4 high grade Aso Oke or Lace fabrics often costing ₦50,000 to ₦200,000 per piece Traditional Provisions Bulk 42 Large Tubers of Yam: Carefully selected for size and "beauty." 25 to 50 Liters of Vegetable/Palm Oil. Multiple Bags, Rice 50kg, Salt, and Sugar. Drinks, 2 to 5 Crates of Malt, 2 to 5 Crates of Soft Drinks, and 2 bottles of high end Non Alcoholic Wine. The "Generosity" Return The Theatre Official Owo Ori (Bride Price) ₦5,000. The Act, During the ceremony, the bride’s father will publicly state, "We are not selling our daughter" and return this specific ₦5,000 envelope to the groom’s family. The Reality, The groom has typically spent between ₦800,000 and ₦2,500,000 total to fulfill the rest of the list and envelopes by the time the "returned" ₦5,000 is handed back. And you still dont see why I have a problem? I hate hypocrisy and double standards and they are frauds playing cultural cosplay and its not Yoruba women its the men. |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Kdon2: 4:24pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Fenrir:If you are not Yoruba keep your mouth out of yoruba affairs. |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by FriendsAndFans(m): 4:32pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Bro rest and not misdirect people on a culture you do not understand |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 4:39pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Kdon2:Let’s stop pretending. When people shout “Our tradition! Prostrate! Do full Yoruba wedding! Respect our culture!” they always list what the groom must do. They almost never mention what the bride’s family was originally supposed to do to deserve all that respect, bride price, and full prostration package. If we are talking real old-school Yoruba custom (not 2025 selective memory), then “tradition” was a bundle: If the groom’s side does X, Y, Z… the bride’s family must also have done A, B, C. You can’t demand one half and quietly delete the other. Virginity = “lineage guarantee” (and the parents had duties here) In old Yoruba custom, virginity wasn’t just a cute idea, it was family honour + lineage certainty. There was asa ibile, the white cloth on the wedding night to prove virginity. If she was a virgin, gifts and money went back to her parents in pride. If not, symbolic shame (half-boiled yam, etc.) was sent instead. Virginity was tied to good upbringing, proper monitoring, protection, and no secret boyfriends and baby daddies. Meaning, if you want to shout “our tradition!” about prostration & bride price, then the girl’s family were also obligated to..... protect her from sexual abuse and exploitation actually supervise her movements and relationships insist on no sex before marriage if they want to use virginity as their cultural bragging right. You cannot abandon all those parental duties, turn blind eye to “coded runs”, then still stand up on wedding day forming “we are traditional, prostrate for us.” That’s not culture. That’s selective memory. Proper upbringing & character, Ìwà, not just makeup....... Traditional Yoruba marriage respected families that raised Omoluabi, good character. The bride’s family was expected to, raise her with discipline, honesty, respect, and home training teach her how to live peacefully in another house, not how to weaponise drama show that she is entering the man’s home as asset, not destabiliser Old texts and studies emphasise that part of what groom’s family is “thanking” the bride’s family for (with owo orí, gifts, prostration) is the years of proper upbringing & moral training. If you’ve never really raised the girl, grandparents did everything, or she basically raised herself on TikTok and church performances, then what exactly are we prostrating for? Protection & supervision not throwing girls to wolves..... Traditionally, there were clear systems...... alarina, go between and chaperones in courtship structured visits serious monitoring of who is courting the daughter and with what intention If a grown man slept with an unbetrothed virgin, he was expected to pay and/or marry her there was some accountability...... Today? many families don’t protect their daughters don’t believe them when something happens push them out early to “hustle” then suddenly remember “tradition” when it’s time to collect list and bride price. Again, you can’t throw away your side of the cultural duty, then resurrect it only when money and prostration enter the chat. The bride’s “equipment” used to be their job, not the groom’s Historically, the bride’s family were supposed to send her off properly equipped, clothing cooking tools home essentials things that show she’s ready to manage a home and contribute. Now look at most modern lists: “gas cooker, fridge, blender, full kitchen, generator, furniture…” all dumped on the groom, while the bride’s family basically arrive with vibes, matching aso ebi and billing. If we’re being honest, Tradition = the bride’s family equip her to be an asset in that home. Extortion = the groom fully equips their daughter and their own kitchen back home. Pick one. Don’t call extortion “culture.” Dowry (owo orí) was symbolic, not ransom....... Old Yoruba custom: dowry was often small and symbolic, and in many cases returned, to emphasise “we are not selling our daughter, this is just culture.” Even where it wasn’t returned, it was still token-level, not “buy a mini-supermarket or no wife.” Modern practice in many families? Endless lists, extra bills on the day, “add something”, “Ibòmbo – we trained your daughter”, multiple unplanned levies. Question, If you truly trained her and truly spent on her, it will show in her character, skills, education, stability. You won’t need to “over-compensate” on the list to prove it. Ongoing support, not “collect and disappear”........ Traditionally, bride’s family didn’t just cash out and disappear, they continued to support, advise, mediate, and guide the new couple elders prayed, blessed, and sometimes corrected their own daughter when she was the problem, Now? Most families, interfere when it benefits them vanish when there is real problem side their daughter blindly even when she’s wrong still expect maximum respect + money flow + “in-law of the year” treatment. Again, if we are using real tradition, your role as bride’s family continues after the marriage. It’s not just “collect list & spray money.” So what’s the actual point here?...... Not to insult Yoruba culture. Not to say “women are bad” or “families are evil.” The point is simple..... You cannot demand full traditional obedience from a groom when you did not fulfil your own traditional duties as the bride’s family. If your daughter...... was not protected from abuse was not supervised in courtship was not raised with real Omoluabi character was not properly equipped from your side did not keep the “purity” you now weaponise did not benefit from your ongoing moral support …then be honest: You are no longer operating full Yoruba tradition. You are operating modern life + selective “tradition” for money and ego. Fine. Life has changed. Nobody is perfect. But then stop shouting: “He must prostrate!” “He must give us X, Y, Z because culture!” “Registry alone is not marriage!” If you want modern, do modern: registry + simple intro + mutual respect. If you want tradition, then accept that tradition binds both families, not just the man. Final questions for Nairaland..... Can a family that didn’t uphold the traditional duties listed above still demand full prostration and heavy “list” with a straight face? Shouldn’t we be honest that what many people call “tradition” today is edited tradition, mostly focused on what the man must pay and perform? If submission is demanded from the woman, and prostration from the man, then where is the matching accountability from both families? No insults, No tribal bashing Just simple logic |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 4:40pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Kdon2:See, wheres the humility your lot spit out like venom and use to insult anyone not Yoruba? 1 Like |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 4:42pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
FriendsAndFans:Dont understand? Damn... ive given detailed explanations of many tribes. You dont understand your history and practice modern interpretations not traditional interpretations. |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 4:55pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Kdon2:Come on smart Alec, ive just given a detailed explanation of your fraud, so go on and justify your position and moral authority. |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 5:00pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
FriendsAndFans:You too, come on smart alec number 2, defend your position and moral authority from the truth. You cant pick and choose. |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 5:02pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Kdon2:I know you are NOT just Yoruba, you are yoruba + a particular belief system The biggest hypocrites and frauds in the country. |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 5:07pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Fenrir:This is a logical trap...... 1) if you defend the current practice then you are admitting its not tradition 2) if you admit it is tradition then you accept the obligations of the bride's family 3) if you say "times have changed" then you have to stop demaning/expecting prostration/bride price 4) if you attack then you cant defend your own logic 5) if you ignore it you prove hypocrisy and fraud |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 5:32pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Kdon2:Shhh, fella. Im Norwegian that was emancipated THEN basically raised an OLD SCHOOL Yoruba woman uk and WAS married to a Yoruba woman. I spent my whole life even during military service learning this nonsense. You were born into it and yet you know nothing about it. Thats cosmic level irony that i actually respected your culture enough to learn the truth but you disrespect it daily in modern life. |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Kdon2: 6:10pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Fenrir:It's not your culture so you can't even begin to understand the nuances of the culture. You can only try |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 6:18pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Kdon2:Typical.... This is a logical trap...... 1) if you defend the current practice then you are admitting its not tradition 2) if you admit it is tradition then you accept the obligations of the bride's family 3) if you say "times have changed" then you have to stop demaning/expecting prostration/bride price 4) if you attack then you cant defend your own logic 5) if you ignore it you prove hypocrisy and fraud You chose option 4 to attack. You don't know your culture. Papa didn't teach you because Papa didn't practice it. |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 6:22pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Kdon2:Your culture mr smart alec..... Pay attention...... Let’s stop pretending. When people shout “Our tradition! Prostrate! Do full Yoruba wedding! Respect our culture!” they always list what the groom must do. They almost never mention what the bride’s family was originally supposed to do to deserve all that respect, bride price, and full prostration package. If we are talking real old-school Yoruba custom (not 2025 selective memory), then “tradition” was a bundle: If the groom’s side does X, Y, Z… the bride’s family must also have done A, B, C. You can’t demand one half and quietly delete the other. Virginity = “lineage guarantee” (and the parents had duties here) In old Yoruba custom, virginity wasn’t just a cute idea, it was family honour + lineage certainty. There was asa ibile, the white cloth on the wedding night to prove virginity. If she was a virgin, gifts and money went back to her parents in pride. If not, symbolic shame (half-boiled yam, etc.) was sent instead. Virginity was tied to good upbringing, proper monitoring, protection, and no secret boyfriends and baby daddies. Meaning, if you want to shout “our tradition!” about prostration & bride price, then the girl’s family were also obligated to..... protect her from sexual abuse and exploitation actually supervise her movements and relationships insist on no sex before marriage if they want to use virginity as their cultural bragging right. You cannot abandon all those parental duties, turn blind eye to “coded runs”, then still stand up on wedding day forming “we are traditional, prostrate for us.” That’s not culture. That’s selective memory. Proper upbringing & character, Ìwà, not just makeup....... Traditional Yoruba marriage respected families that raised Omoluabi, good character. The bride’s family was expected to, raise her with discipline, honesty, respect, and home training teach her how to live peacefully in another house, not how to weaponise drama show that she is entering the man’s home as asset, not destabiliser Old texts and studies emphasise that part of what groom’s family is “thanking” the bride’s family for (with owo orí, gifts, prostration) is the years of proper upbringing & moral training. If you’ve never really raised the girl, grandparents did everything, or she basically raised herself on TikTok and church performances, then what exactly are we prostrating for? Protection & supervision not throwing girls to wolves..... Traditionally, there were clear systems...... alarina, go between and chaperones in courtship structured visits serious monitoring of who is courting the daughter and with what intention If a grown man slept with an unbetrothed virgin, he was expected to pay and/or marry her there was some accountability...... Today? many families don’t protect their daughters don’t believe them when something happens push them out early to “hustle” then suddenly remember “tradition” when it’s time to collect list and bride price. Again, you can’t throw away your side of the cultural duty, then resurrect it only when money and prostration enter the chat. The bride’s “equipment” used to be their job, not the groom’s Historically, the bride’s family were supposed to send her off properly equipped, clothing cooking tools home essentials things that show she’s ready to manage a home and contribute. Now look at most modern lists: “gas cooker, fridge, blender, full kitchen, generator, furniture…” all dumped on the groom, while the bride’s family basically arrive with vibes, matching aso ebi and billing. If we’re being honest, Tradition = the bride’s family equip her to be an asset in that home. Extortion = the groom fully equips their daughter and their own kitchen back home. Pick one. Don’t call extortion “culture.” Dowry (owo orí) was symbolic, not ransom....... Old Yoruba custom: dowry was often small and symbolic, and in many cases returned, to emphasise “we are not selling our daughter, this is just culture.” Even where it wasn’t returned, it was still token-level, not “buy a mini-supermarket or no wife.” Modern practice in many families? Endless lists, extra bills on the day, “add something”, “Ibòmbo – we trained your daughter”, multiple unplanned levies. Question, If you truly trained her and truly spent on her, it will show in her character, skills, education, stability. You won’t need to “over-compensate” on the list to prove it. Ongoing support, not “collect and disappear”........ Traditionally, bride’s family didn’t just cash out and disappear, they continued to support, advise, mediate, and guide the new couple elders prayed, blessed, and sometimes corrected their own daughter when she was the problem, Now? Most families, interfere when it benefits them vanish when there is real problem side their daughter blindly even when she’s wrong still expect maximum respect + money flow + “in-law of the year” treatment. Again, if we are using real tradition, your role as bride’s family continues after the marriage. It’s not just “collect list & spray money.” So what’s the actual point here?...... Not to insult Yoruba culture. Not to say “women are bad” or “families are evil.” The point is simple..... You cannot demand full traditional obedience from a groom when you did not fulfil your own traditional duties as the bride’s family. If your daughter...... was not protected from abuse was not supervised in courtship was not raised with real Omoluabi character was not properly equipped from your side did not keep the “purity” you now weaponise did not benefit from your ongoing moral support …then be honest: You are no longer operating full Yoruba tradition. You are operating modern life + selective “tradition” for money and ego. Fine. Life has changed. Nobody is perfect. But then stop shouting: “He must prostrate!” “He must give us X, Y, Z because culture!” “Registry alone is not marriage!” If you want modern, do modern: registry + simple intro + mutual respect. If you want tradition, then accept that tradition binds both families, not just the man. Final questions for Nairaland..... Can a family that didn’t uphold the traditional duties listed above still demand full prostration and heavy “list” with a straight face? Shouldn’t we be honest that what many people call “tradition” today is edited tradition, mostly focused on what the man must pay and perform? If submission is demanded from the woman, and prostration from the man, then where is the matching accountability from both families? No insults, No tribal bashing Just simple logic This is a logical trap...... 1) if you defend the current practice then you are admitting its not tradition 2) if you admit it is tradition then you accept the obligations of the bride's family 3) if you say "times have changed" then you have to stop demaning/expecting prostration/bride price 4) if you attack then you cant defend your own logic 5) if you ignore it you prove hypocrisy and fraud |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 7:09pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Kdon2:Do you know the funny thing fella? A man can just tell all yoruba parents, uncles and aunts Whatever to just "shut up" in the wedding process and he faces no legal action what will they do? Call the police? "😭 This adult wont obey me" Now flip the script, they demand traditions = crime under federal law = must issue a public apology + 500,000-5,000,000 naira fine + potential 2-7 years in prison They attempt to stop the wedding = crime under federal law = again must issue public apology + 500,000-5,000,000 naira fine + potential 2-7 years in prison Your elders have no authority and no power over Nigerians or foreign nationals but the couple have ultimate power And petty little men like you are starting to learn that |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Kdon2: 7:27pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Fenrir:You are just so dumb. You don't understand the culture you are trying to interprete. I say it again, except you are Yoruba you can't ever understand the deep complexity. |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Kdon2: 8:00pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Fenrir:Like I said before all these your articulation has no substance of the culture you so much wan to misinterpreted. Doesn't it dwarf intelligence when you mischievously want to paint a culture in your own colours? |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 8:31pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Kdon2:See, where is that humble attitude. Do you know why I focus on Yoruba? Lack of humility and lies about history. The arrogance. You can sit down with anyone of any other tribe and have an honest talk about history and you get the truth but your tribe..... You men do nothing but lie, does any other tribe on here talk like? Any at all, go through all my topics Ive said stuff about igbo and bini etc and nothing but Yoruba? You cannot see past your narcissistic lies. And do Yoruba women on here ever defend you? Fella ive almost begged them to defend you and none have That speaks volumes. Nigerian women Yoruba included would leave Yoruba men in the dust given the opportunity |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 8:44pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Kdon2:No substance? You can't even make your own arguments and dont know your own history Everything i said is verifiable but everything you say is AI generated
|
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 9:37pm On Dec 28, 2025 |
Kdon2:If anyone not Yoruba stays out of Yoruba affairs then non Yoruba dont have to...... Prostate Pay the bride price Follow Yoruba Customs Accept family authority Fund a Yoruba families traditions. If Yoruba expect outsiders Nigerian or non nigerian to follow Yoruba traditions then ALL outsiders have the right to question and criticise the culture. You cannot demand participation and money and respect and at the same time forbid anyone from speaking about the rules imposed on them. Is that humble? If you say that anyone non Yoruba stays out of Yoruba affairs then keep Yoruba culture and Yoruba traditions for Yoruba + Yoruba marriages BUT..... You wont, Yoruba Value marrying outside Yoruba culture AND still expect Yoruba domination which is one sided enforcement. My point?.... Hypocrites Not humble Not respectful And you cant even point out where im wrong or how im wrong 😂 Not honest |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Kdon2: 7:56am On Dec 29, 2025 |
Fenrir:You will ever struggle to understand Yoruba culture and practices while you have no enviable culture for worthy enough to catch attention. You can run along now boy.😜 |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Kdon2: 8:00am On Dec 29, 2025 |
Fenrir:If you are a senseless troll, I can conveniently take care of that. |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by strictrept: 4:08pm On Dec 31, 2025 |
Well Fenrir, your points are logical, factual and valid so to speak. |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 8:52pm On Jan 19 |
Kdon2:Im back after a long ban, if im wrong about the culture then stop ranting and raving and start explaining No tribe in Nigeria is traditional because none practice the base traditions, the lineage guarantee and the brides families responsibilities Its just take take take now. For the majority and most BUT not all |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Kdon2: 7:02am On Jan 20 |
Fenrir:Your ban should have been permanent☹️ |
| Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Fenrir(op): 1:28pm On Jan 20 |
Prostration was NEVER mandatory in old school yoruba anyway and its not today either In the past..... An Omoluabi who stood respectfully, spoke well, and behaved honourably was not “disrespectful” because he didn’t lie flat on the floor. And Prostration was EARNED by virginity and lineage guarantee, all it is now..... is ritual humiliation for a fathers ego after he failed his duties |
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