₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Sorry, but those sort of lies no be my thing. I am at least glad this one over here is finally cutting the purse strings of those on this side who have been taking advantage of the system for so long. 🥱🥱

I don't like it when able bodied individuals think it is OK to game the system while depriving so many others of the opportunity they deserve by it. Yes, there are probably some old folks eating cat food because they can't get money to eat from the same government. 🥱🥱🥱

BRATISLAVA:
➜Is cat food that cheap? Or tasty?

Kobojunkie:
Stop this nonsense about reason and the man or woman here. You speaks of reason yet the same man involved himself in welfare lies or felt his ego bruised because the woman did not share the welfare money she got from government so cut the bullsheet already! 🥱🥱🥱

Abbeytoy:
➜There was no issue with the welfare money, she has been collecting it for 7 years and no problem.
➜But the problem you don't see is locking him outside.
➜ I only bring this up because I want him to see his child and act like a father as before. My brother is one of the best men out there.

Abbeytoy:
➜They did not even know where he stayed. The government must not know she has a husband, else they will cut off all her support, and that would never favour her. I think government support is one of the main issues that affects marriages in the UK. The women will get it and not share with their partners who still pay all the bills.

Kobojunkie:
1. Are you saying your brother's marriage was not affected by this same problem which you mentioned earlier in the conversation? 🥱🥱

2. I don't know whether her locking him outside is justified or not... and yes, there are justifications for locking a person outside. In such cases, if asked, I would instead recommend moving on completely from such a person— if you have to lock a person out of the house, that is a clear sign that you two are probably not good together at all— in such cases, but a lot of times people cling to that which is not good for them. 🥱🥱🥱

2. We only have your account of things, but we have yet to read the woman's side of what kind of man your brother really is... the more important side of this. She is the woman who supposedly had to endure him for as long as they were together, so she should be in a better place to tell us more about your brother than you, actually. 🥱🥱

Abbeytoy:
1. They're not recognised as a couple under UK law to get government benefits. Mist black ladies do it over there.
2, I am not interested in who's right or wrong or who offended whom. And I support their separation is that's what will bring peace.
➜ The only problem I have and my concern in everything is the child involved.
➜ He should see him, call him, and schedule time to take him out as normal people will do

Kobojunkie:
1. Did your brother have an issue with the fact that the woman did not share her money with him? 🥱🥱🥱

2. Exactly! I am not interested in who is wrong or right, which is the reason why I didn't comment on her locking him out several times, and I do support their separation. The relationship seemed to have been a whole load of toxic. 🥱🥱🥱

3. Same here...my primary concern too is that child. 🥱🥱🥱

4. Have you considered the possibility that your brother created an environment that was toxic for that child, too? 🥱🥱🥱

Abbeytoy:
1, The truth is that most men I know in the UK complained of the same problem. Yes, he does mention that the money belongs to them both, but he still does everything needed. But I think his major concern is that the lady lavishes the money on the party and clothes... This might be an accumulated issue and add to the main problem, but it's not the major one here.
2, I think the locking out is persistent, and he just got frustrated and was like,.. Is this really worth it, despite the sacrifices? (He didn't tell me this, but I think this is the main issue.)
4, I know my brother can create a toxic environment, especially when he gets broke and wants her to drop some money to offset the bills. I believe he can do it. [b]Just that locking him out has been the only thing they communicate to us all as the problem.[/b]

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

Kobojunkie:
1. If the money is in the woman's name, it is her money, not the man's money to spend or concern himself with.

2. Why was he being locked out? You refused to include the reason the woman gave you for her persistent actions, so it is meaningless to go on about it. 🥱🥱🥱

3. A disregulated adult in the midst of him throwing a tantrum because he is broken? If that is the reason why she locked him out, then she should never have opened that door to him ever again. Your brother should be happy she never called the police on him each of those times. 🥱🥱🥱

Abbeytoy:
➜Feminine, don't jump to conclusions. Those are my assumptions not facts. The only thing both of them say is that she locked me out and begs him for me because I lock him out. The reason for such was an argument.

Kobojunkie:
You should take time to ask yourself why you are suddenly threatened by my asking questions and stating hypotheticals? 🥱🥱🥱

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

Na Nigerian man mentality. They are naturally irresponsible fathers
That's why there are lots of songs about mothers suffering in their husbands house to take care of her kids.

They're also great at cutting themselves off financially and emotionally from their own children... Imagine, even after DNA test confirmed it's his son, he's still unresponsive to the son's need for him as a father?
But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

Ishilove:
Later later in life when these men are elderly and lonely, some ignorant people will come online to write epistles about how kids abandon their fathers in old age because their mother turned their heads. They will complain that children always take care of their mothers but leave their fathers to suffer of loneliness.

This is why I always take such stories with a pinch of salt because when you look deeply, a loving father will never be abandoned by his children. Male loneliness in old age is 9 times out of 10 the fruits of what they planted.

pocohantas:
Never...
Or let me say 99.8% impossible.
I can never abandon my father.

One thing I have noticed is, once they don't have access to the woman, they hate the kid(s). They will rather take care of the kids of a woman they have access to, than their biological kids of an estranged wife.

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

MrCaesar:
This story is fictitious.

pocohantas:
Never...
Or let me say 99.8% impossible.
I can never abandon my father.

One thing I have noticed is, once they don't have access to the woman, they hate the kid(s). They will rather take care of the kids of a woman they have access to, than their biological kids of an estranged wife.

descarado:
Child support and living together have nothing in common.

Do you know why there is child support in the first place?
Cos they are separated or divorced!
All these cock and bull stories

descarado:
That tory is the worst i have read here.
No sense. A lot of things there should not be together.
The tory teller blended western and nigerian system together but he didnt know both systems have nothing in common.

You can only be told to pay child support by a lawyer and the same lawyer will tell you to visit and have quality time with your kid at some day or days in a week. Need not go further.

Horrible story telling.

Abbeytoy:
They're in UK, we're in Nigeria

pocohantas:
Never...
Or let me say 99.8% impossible.
I can never abandon my father.

One thing I have noticed is, once they don't have access to the woman, they hate the kid(s). They will rather take care of the kids of a woman they have access to, than their biological kids of an estranged wife.

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.