₦airaland Forum

Not every woman is qualified to be called a "Mother". Some are irresponsible, wicked and self-centred.
Imagine having a mother who never showed an atom of concern towards her children.
You lost your husband when your kids were just little. Your husband's people shared the kids amongst themselves and took them through secondary sch. It wasn't like these in-laws were well-to-do financially, but they took the responsibilities upon themselves to see that their late brother's children got secondary education. One year after you buried your husband, you clunged to another man.
Sch fees, Books, uniforms, pencils etc, you never bought for any of this children. Sometimes your in-laws even had to ask your children if their mother was aware that she had children schooling somewhere.
After sec school, the children left their aunties and uncles' houses since they could no longer continue training them, mother now decided to send these children to the city to do house helps & other jobs , then she started asking that their salaries be sent directly into her account.
The children grew up, struggled to gain admission, while in sch, they complained about the hardship they were facing and you asked them to drop out. You never have them a penny. Imagine as a student, you travelled home to see your mum and she's in her husband's house, when you're leaving, she's expecting you to give her money.

They managed to graduate and now managing their lives. Then you begin pestering them for money every time. 1/2 of your calls is about money for your own needs. Meanwhile, any money she makes goes into buying the latest wrappers for herself. Everyday you're calling them. You want to gain favours from where you didn't labor. You want to gather where you didn't winnow.
While in school, times were so hard, I had to call a female elder cousin for help, and she told me to ask my mum. She asked if my mum was aware that her son is in sch. She refused to help me. Another uncle also said same thing. I felt so bad that very day.
By the time she notices that one of us is doing better than the Rests, she begins to focus more on that person by calling and demanding. Then when things go south for same person, she moves to the next child. When she sees that nothing is coming out from a certain child, she begins to badmouth same child to the other children and portraying him in bad light. She forgets about the previous favours you've done her.
Even when she has a headache, she calls. She takes no responsibility for herself.
— she calls to inform you about the death of any village person and how she needs to attend the burial and also money to give to the bereaved family. If you don't have, she tells u to go and borrow.
She's selling Palm oil in jerrycans, and making money, but she will never tell you. You'll only get to hear this from outsiders. From clearing a land, applying chemicals and weeding, she'll call you for financial help. But when it's time for harvest, she will sell her farm produce and eat alone. She won't even bother to send you a tuber of Yam or garri in the city when she knows too well that things are hard here.

— as you try to meet her needs, she drags her own mother's needs to you and ask u to help her.
She will again, mention that I assist one or two random village People who have being asking her about me.

I don't know if this is how all mothers are. I don't know why God gave me this one. Sometimes I avoid her calls for weeks and even months, then she goes about reporting me to people, thereby making them feel like I'm irresponsible. When they ask me why I don't call or pick her calls, I can't explain the issue to them cos I see it as a family affair.
If I have money, I pick her calls and check on her, but anytime I'm broke, I don't call or pick her calls. This is because monetary demands will be made and I wouldn't want to explain my situation to her.
She'll say her Blood pressure is high because I don't pick her calls. Sometimes I just feel I'm being emotionally manipulated.

Is this your personal experience...?

Anyway, anyone who abandoned me to my fate would receive same treatment when the roles are reversed.


I'm not Moses but I believe in eye for an eye. Show me loyalty and sincerity and I will be obedient and loyal to you like a dog to a fault.


I'm like a mirror 🪞 I reflect whatever image you give!

brain54:
Is this your personal experience...?

Anyway, anyone who abandoned me to my fate would receive same treatment when the roles are reversed.


I'm not Moses but I believe in eye for an eye. Show me loyalty and sincerity and I will be obedient and loyal to you like a dog to a fault.


I'm like a mirror 🪞 I reflect whatever image you give!

That's my experience.
A lot that I can't even mention here. Nairaland won't contain it

Just because she's your mother does not mean she's a good woman.

I'm sorry about your experience...


I don't like talking about people's parents in negative light. But this one is obvious that she is a toxic person.


The most important thing is keeping your sanity and peace of mind in whatever interactions you have with people. Especially, those who won't come through for you when need be.

Prioritize yourself first. That's all!

Malagans:
That's my experience.
A lot that I can't even mention here. Nairaland won't contain it

Zonefree:
Just because she's your mother does not mean she's a good woman.

Otondo, you still dey...?

brain54:
I'm sorry about your experience...


I don't like talking about people's parents in negative light. But this one is obvious that she is a toxic person.


The most important thing is keeping your sanity and peace of mind in whatever interactions you have with people. Especially, those who won't come through for you when need be.

Prioritize yourself first. That's all!

I just keep asking God why He had to give me such a woman for a mother. I don't deserve this please. I'm too good for this

I have seen some terrible mothers and fathers, I honestly don't know why someone should abandon their blood. They should be given same treatment.

Sorry about the horrific experiences but remember her judgement is not in your hands.

Malagans:
I just keep asking God why He had to give me such a woman for a mother. I don't deserve this please. I'm too good for this

Be strong bro...

Focus more on protecting yourself and healing from hurt rather than blaming or asking God questions.


Life is what it is. It's left for you to make the most of what you have. No need crying over what you don't have.

Give thanks for what you do have bro. Count your blessings as they say.


No one truly has it all. We all have one regret or the other!

If I don’t come across things like this online, I can’t wrap my head around why a parent will neglect their own child/children. It’s unfortunate. If i’ll advice you as a coach, i’ll say don’t pay evil with evil, cos who knows if it is your generational curse, just break that trend, less it affects your own family that you’ll make in the future. Some things about the blood cannot be manipulated, if she carried you for nine months and she truly birthed you, please avoid anything that will make her lay curse on you.

Note, we don’t always have to look for solution when some problems can easily be avoided. Prevention is better than cure. Take care of her, let her go and give God account of her own deeds.

merrymike47:
If I don’t come across things like this online, I can’t wrap my head around why a parent will neglect their own child/children. It’s unfortunate. If i’ll advice you as a coach, i’ll say don’t pay evil with evil, cos who knows if it is your generational curse, just break that trend, less it affects your own family that you’ll make in the future. Some things about the blood cannot be manipulated, if she carried you for nine months and she truly birthed you, please avoid anything that will make her lay curse on you.

Note, we don’t always have to look for solution when some problems can easily be avoided. Prevention is better than cure. Take care of her, let her go and give God account of her own deeds.

By my knowledge and even the public's knowledge, I have not done anything to her to warrant any curse. Her curse wouldn't even be potent on me if she tries it.
I haven't caused her any pains or regrets before.
I haven't been involved in any insistent that would make her cry. Never. I'm a cool-headed guy

I nor be Jesus.


I don't care who you're, I treat people how they treat/treated me...... No need pretending.

Malagans:
...I don't know if this is how all mothers are. I don't know why God gave me this one. Sometimes I avoid her calls for weeks and even months, then she goes about reporting me to people, thereby making them feel like I'm irresponsible. When they ask me why I don't call or pick her calls, I can't explain the issue to them cos I see it as a family affair.
If I have money, I pick her calls and check on her, but anytime I'm broke, I don't call or pick her calls. This is because monetary demands will be made and I wouldn't want to explain my situation to her.
She'll say her Blood pressure is high because I don't pick her calls. Sometimes I just feel I'm being emotionally manipulated.

Your mother sounds like one of those who were conditioned to believe that their lives make no sense without a man -- men in this case believe that they need a woman to complete them -- and also that children are a retirement plan that ought to provide for them, not necessarily the other way around. There are lots of such mothers and fathers out there. And if you trace back, you might find that the cycle in their family did not begin with them either. 🥱🥱🥱

Yes, traditionally(religion included), Nigerians tend to raise terrible parents. And children are usually an afterthought, or should I say slaves, a sort of benefit that marriage provides to such parents.🥱🥱

Stop seeking worthless validation altogether from her and the people all around you, and focus your energy on giving yourself the life you were not given by both your father and your mother. If you can afford it, send her some pocket money each month -- limit her to that. More importantly, endeavor to get yourself professional mental health counseling to help you process and heal from all of the pain and hurts of your past, so you do not turn around and pick someone like your mother for a partner or inflict the same ills on your own children after all that. 🥱🥱

Generational curses are mental dissonance that result in our repeating the mistakes of those who hurt us. This happens when we try to cover up the pain instead of doing the hard work necessary to heal entirely from the wounds. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Your mother sounds like one of those who were conditioned to believe that their lives make no sense without a man -- men in this case believe that they need a woman to complete them -- and also that children are a retirement plan that ought to provide for them, not necessarily the other way around. There are lots of such mothers and fathers out there. And if you trace back, you might find that the cycle in their family did not begin with them either. 🥱🥱🥱



Yes, traditionally(religion included) Nigerians tend to raise terrible parents. And children are usually an afterthought or should I say slaves, a sort of benefit that marriage provides such parents.🥱🥱

Stop seeking worthless validation altogether from her and the people all around you and focus your energy on giving yourself the life you were not given by both your father and your mother. If you can afford it, send her some pocket money each month -- limit her to that. More importantly, endeavor to get yourself professional mental health counseling to help you process and heal from all of the pain and hurts of your past so you do not turn around and pick someone like your mother for a partner or inflict the same ills on your own children after all that. 🥱🥱

Generational curses are mental dissonance that result in our repeating the mistakes of those who hurt us. This happens when we try to cover up the pain instead of doing the hard work necessary to heal entirely from the wounds. 🥱🥱🥱

Thanks so much.
I give her almost 38% of my entire monthly earnings

Malagans:
➜Thanks so much. I give her almost 38% of my entire monthly earnings

Hey, if you can afford to give her that much each month, that is fine too.

Kobojunkie:
Hey, if you can afford to give her that much each month, that is fine too.

I do that consistently and I'm serious about this

Kobojunkie:
Hey, if you can afford to give her that much each month, that is fine too.

I do that consistently and I'm serious about this.
That's minus other needs that may come up before the Month ends.

If there's a Pressing need before Month end, I help and still fulfill the monthly allowance which is fixed

Malagans:
➜I do that consistently and I'm serious about this

OK! That is good. Just stop investing any other energy into her at this point. Rather, pour your energy into healing yourself and your life from all the wounds she got you into. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
OK! That is good. Just stop investing any other energy into her at this point. Rather, pour your energy into healing yourself and your life from all the wounds she got you into. 🥱🥱🥱

Alright boss.
Thanks 🙏

Malagans:
➜I do that consistently and I'm serious about this. That's minus other needs that may come up before the Month ends.
If there's a Pressing need before Month end, I help and still fulfill the monthly allowance which is fixed

Do you do all this because you feel somewhat obligated? Or is this all from the kindness of your heart towards this mother of yours — something like, you make a lot of money, so you might as well spend on her?

brain54:
Is this your personal experience...?

Anyway, anyone who abandoned me to my fate would receive same treatment when the roles are reversed.


I'm not Moses but I believe in eye for an eye. Show me loyalty and sincerity and I will be obedient and loyal to you like a dog to a fault.


I'm like a mirror 🪞 I reflect whatever image you give!

pay no man/woman evil for evil vengeances is my i will recompense says the lord

Kobojunkie:
Do you do all this because you feel somewhat obligated? Or is this all from the kindness of your heart towards this mother of yours — something like, you make a lot of money, so you might as well spend on her?

I do this because I feel I'm obligated to do it, considering that I'm the First born.

Secondly, I'm definitely a kind person. I hate to see people being in need. I get emotional sometimes.
Two weeks ago, I saw an Hausa tailor. You know these Hausa tailors who move from house to house looking for customers. They amend clothes mostly., this man was looking so weak and drained while trekking under the scorching hot Sun. This man should be in his mid 60s. I felt so sad within me. I asked why his children aren't taking care of him at such age.
I called him, gave him a pair of knicker to help me amend, when he finished, I gave him x10 of the money he charged me. Gave him a chilled plastic Coke to cool him. There are so many of such incidents that I've encountered.
My neighbours have taken advantage of my act of kindness to people, they are always seeking help from me. Full-time housewives come to me for help, their children also come. Even the customers I buy items from, they will come to borrow from me. They feel I have enough, but honestly I don't. There are times I starve for days due to o lack of funds, but nobody knows. I'm not flashy, I'm just modest in my dressing. I don't show off because I don't even have anything to pride in. They just know I'm kind and will always help if they approach me

Doesn't your phone have block button?



Nawa for you.





Oga block her asap.

Dem go drain you....to whom brain is given,common sense is expected. You can help others but not at your own detriment.if e red for you, no body wee come to save you,take it or leave it.

Malagans:
I do this because I feel I'm obligated to do it, considering that I'm the First born.

Secondly, I'm definitely a kind person. I hate to see people being in need. I get emotional sometimes.
Two weeks ago, I saw an Hausa tailor. You know these Hausa tailors who move from house to house looking for customers. They amend clothes mostly., this man was looking so weak and drained while trekking under the scorching hot Sun. This man should be in his mid 60s. I felt so sad within me. I asked why his children aren't taking care of him at such age.
I called him, gave him a pair of knicker to help me amend, when he finished, I gave him x10 of the money he charged me. Gave him a chilled plastic Coke to cool him. There are so many of such incidents that I've encountered.
My neighbours have taken advantage of my act of kindness to people, they are always seeking help from me. Full-time housewives come to me for help, their children also come. Even the customers I buy items from, they will come to borrow from me. They feel I have enough, but honestly I don't. There are times I starve for days due to o lack of funds, but nobody knows. I'm not flashy, I'm just modest in my dressing. I don't show off because I don't even have anything to pride in. They just know I'm kind and will always help if they approach me

Make kobojunkie no dey on this thread keh😂

I first fear after scrolling the few comments without seeing the comment and BoooooM🤣

Caaz:
Doesn't your phone have block button?



Nawa for you.


I m a very strict person,i detest people pressuring me unecessary...my mum can attest to it.


Oga block her asap.

Is it that easy?

I am speechless.

This is very bad.

Some women ought not to give birth at all. Some men ought to procreate.