₦airaland Forum

oluxy:
The moment he said the woman left with the children, the man is wicked..

Which means, the woman has tolerated for long, enduring him until when she needs to safe the feature of her children and her..

If I were directly to see this man, he should tell us the truth and how wicked he's to the wife and children.

I'm not blaming the wife and the children.
I'm a man and father. Many father and men are cruel to their wives in many ways..

exactly after all we believe that we are men we can do whatever we like without putting our partner into consideration.
So sad.
I believe this should be a lesson to those that wants to learn

Oga,How did you treat your children?

NevetsIbot:
If only young men knew how women manipulate and weaponize their children against their father… if only Calvin knew, he’d have calmed down to listen to this man’s plea.

I personally had to apologize to my own father last year for being used as a tool against him by my mother. Scales that have been on my face for over two decades fell off when stories were not consistent anymore and I had to start looking deeper and asking questions. I feared women instantly after.

Calvin, try to listen to your father. She’s your mother, yes, but it doesn’t make her an angel that can’t lie.

After separation,my late mother worked on us not to have anything to do with our dad (late) even as a kid of 8 years i did not believe her.
But my elder brother was different.He bought her manipulation until he was over 40 yrs.
I always taunt her,that with this your beauty you should have remarried if you were a submissive woman. She raised us well but was too strong willed

tiger28:
ALL the Father is talking about is SEEING BASSEY, money is something else. What about the others


As usual, if BASSEY wasn’t a Star, he wouldn’t be reaching out.

.

What if he is in contact with the rest and bassey is the only one not giving him an audience...

Imagine a woman raising 4 boys alone.

[quote author=lwisee post=138272018]Nothing pains a man more than finding himself in a situation like Calvin's father.

FEAR WOMEN.


Nobi fuulish children dey swallow everything from their mother?.😏

Mrexcell:
Why can't calvin set him up to leave the streets?

Which street? The man is not poor from the narration

That man never made any effort until the children were grown, says a lot about him. He should go back to the brother/Sisters that fueled his ego to maltreat his family. No normal wife will leave to fend for 4 kids alone except the man is the type that Jeremiah looked at and exclaimed, "The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked". Forgiveness is Divine, so you can forgive and still maintain a safe distance.

Why

Orlandoo:
I knew that Igbo blood runs in Calvin. Please he should make peace with his dad before the old man dies.

Tenses:
That's a frantical act. Did he state any action he took to reclaim those children when he discovered his then wife absconded with them?.

We must hear from all parties involved.

As I said earlier, men lie, women lie.

Who are these 'we' you speak of? I can bet my life your opinion (and yes, neither mine) matters on this case. Rest.

Dude even changed his name to Calvin. There’s way more to this story, honestly. But I can’t shake the feeling that the mother is unforgiving and manipulative.

This situation could be taking a toll on his father’s mental health and shortening his life. Immediate attention from his children and ex-wife is necessary.

I quite concurred with you statement but in any tribe/community where take custody of child(ren) like part of Rivers and Akwa Ibom state, it is very difficult for man to reclaimed such child.

Mabuggi88:
Not a new knowledge, from his days at Rangers we football fans knew he's an Igbo. He should make peace with his father with his mother's consent, meaning the father should first reconcile with his ex-wife first, by so doing he will have a soft landing. If they don't accept, man should move on with his life, na the children go later regret because you will one day think deep about it

Father is lying through his teeth. That woman probably was abandoned to take care of those kids alone reason why she changed their names and the man did not care. He’s abroad, he could have done more to disgrace the woman by ensuring the takes care of his family financially and get shared custody if he was a good person.

A whole 4 boys, does he think we no get sense? A whole 4 minor boys just disappear for years and even you no fight for them. Your eye don clear. Money de flow while you are probably getting old and money is drying up.


He cares now that CALVIN is successful. What about the other 3? Calvin, you better stay away from this guy let him not retraumatize you. Let all his friend and family who supported the abandonment of his family take care of him. There’s consequences for every action.

The family you create is who will care for you in old age not your parents, siblings or friends. All of them will run away when it’s time to support you financially. So, better throw away pride and focus on your family to ensure they are loved and well cared for and protected before any one else or your eye go see shege!

tommy589:
After separation,my late mother worked on us not to have anything to do with our dad (late) even as a kid of 8 years i did not believe her.
But my elder brother was different.He bought her manipulation until he was over 40 yrs.
I always taunt her,that with this your beauty you should have remarried if you were a submissive woman. She raised us well but was too strong willed

You are a man.

It happened to me and my siblings too, and we their children manoeuvre our ways within them, and maintained our relationship with our father and mother, though they live apart.

Once you are old, you don't meddle in your parents quarell with each other. You continue to give respect and attention to both, especially if neither of them is an outright demon.

Tenses:
People lie. Men lie, women lie over everything. We must hear the wife's side of the story and the Calvin side of the story to shook mouth for this obviously family matter.

If Calvin has not be successful would the father frantically make attempt to reconnect with him?

You think igbo men especially ndị Anambra will abandon a SON?
You think money is a big deal to an igbo man?
Dey play
Calvin already owns the ancestral land of his fathers!
It's worth more than anything else
Calm down o

tommy589:
After separation,my late mother worked on us not to have anything to do with our dad (late) even as a kid of 8 years i did not believe her.
But my elder brother was different.He bought her manipulation until he was over 40 yrs.
I always taunt her,that with this your beauty you should have remarried if you were a submissive woman. She raised us well but was too strong willed

It’s is crazy. You know my mom’s manipulation was bad so much so that both sisters I have saw it too that same last year. And ofcourse, I was the only one my father opened up to when I started asking questions- even at that he was still trying to stop me from hearing other damaging information about my mother. He had always been quiet….. I almost shut down my mind about marriage cos I felt if a couple can spend over 30yrs together can have the woman treat the man this terribly, what will a lady I’ve not even spent two years with do to me??

Even in marriages that are still intact, women are actively grooming their kids against their father. Most will not admit to this, especially women, but it is the truth and they know it.

As a man, the moment you lose custody of your kids to your ex wife, is the moment you already lose them. Start another family as soon as you can as a backup. This is not something you try to rationalise or think you're immune to. Every woman has this tendency so prepare yourself.

sammiewrite:
Even in marriages that are still intact, women are actively grooming their kids against their father. Most will not admit to this, especially women, but it is the truth and they know it.

As a man, the moment you lose custody of your kids to your ex wife, is the moment you already lose them. Start another family as soon as you can as a backup. This is not something you try to rationalise or think you're immune to. Every woman has this tendency so prepare yourself.

If you don’t change, what made the first person run away will make the second woman run too. You will start family tire. You wan de back pickin at over 60yrs. Na so e easy? You no go even see fruit of labor grow before you kpai.

Tenses:
People lie. Men lie, women lie over everything. We must hear the wife's side of the story and the Calvin side of the story to shook mouth for this obviously family matter.

If Calvin has not be successful would the father frantically make attempt to reconnect with him?

Sometimes , it's not about being successful or not, i know of a man in my church, who died very lonely....
Years ago after seperation or better put divorce from his wife, he had been alone and usually begs to see his children, but last year was the height of it, his body system couldn't take it again, he gave up the ghost.....

There's a time in a man's life where they'll crave the presence of their loved ones but would not find such, that's why it's better they do the right thing to avoid regret...

Women!.....Mothers!
They always think they are all in all when it comes to children matter.Some of them will brainwash their children against their father and the children will later come to terms with the truth when its already too late.
A friend of mine is now regretting everything for loving and listening to his mother alone while his father's words meant nothing to him.Today,he always feel like seeing his late father one on one to beg for forgiveness..
Hmmmm....Calvin Bassy ughenunmba,whatever the case may be,do not turn your back against your Father.

SmartyPants:
I thought Igbos say when a man abandons his family, the children belong to the wife's family? It suddenly doesn't apply when you want to claim a successful young man who achieved everything he did without your help.

You are completely wrong.

While abandonment is bad, Igbo culture does not speak to "abandonment" that may sometimes follow divorce.

Igbo culture focuses on discouraging the practice of making girls, baby mamas. So if you impregnate her, without marrying her, then the kid belongs to her family.

However, if you marry her, a subsequent divorce does not mean that the children cease to be yours. They are still your children and should still bear your name.

2mch:
If you don’t change, what made the first person run away will make the second woman run too. You will start family tire. You wan de back pickin at over 60yrs. Na so e easy? You no go even see fruit of labor grow before you kpai.

Oga na fight? You think all women who left their husbands did so because the man did something wrong or was treating them unfairly, and not because the woman can't have her way or control the man? I'm also sure you think that a man not being able to reach his kids for several years is because he didn't try to or tried enough, and not because the woman is making it impossible?

IduNaOba:
You think igbo men especially ndị Anambra will abandon a SON?
You think money is a big deal to an igbo man?
Dey play
Calvin already owns the ancestral land of his fathers!
It's worth more than anything else
Calm down o

I am an Igbo man and I have a friend whose father abandoned them without any provocation from his wife. I agree that it is not prevalent in SE but this thing do happen also.

There's nothing wrong in hearing from all parties before judging.

sammiewrite:
Oga na fight? You think all women who left their husbands did so because the man did something wrong or was treating them unfairly, and not because the woman can't have her way or control the man? I'm also sure you think that a man no being able to reach his kids for several years is because he didn't try to or tried enough, and not that the woman is making it impossible?

He can’t reach his kids for several years abroad? Even in Nigeria, that is a joke. 4 boys for 18yrs and he did not care to find out how they were eating or if they have a decent roof to live under till Calvin became a star. Sure you are not this gullible.

Predictor3:
The woman has poisoned the mind of the children. But how did this man stay so far away from his children for so long?

For a woman to run with a mans kids without a divorce or taking his money to raise the kids herself there must be something seriously wrong with the man or something.

Orlandoo:
I knew that Igbo blood runs in Calvin. Please he should make peace with his dad before the old man dies.

Then the igbo blood is a wicked and evil blood. A man abandons is family to die and never looked back is your definition of igbo blood? What blood is the mother? A strong
Woman who stood out for her kids and make them what they are today? He only wants to reconcile because the kids have made it in life. While to heir is human and forgiveness devine, men should stand by there family irrespective.

Predictor3:
Why are you talking like this? Is it not clear enough he doesn't want reconciliation with the woman but his children?

Did I say anything about the woman? There are four children here. My question is, why is he so particular about Calvin? The first effort he made for reconciliation was after the boy signed his first professional contract. And is Calvin the only child? He has a brother who got himself involved in the gang lifestyle and went to prison for some years. That would have been the easiest child to reach out to - did he visit that one or try to claim him? What is this??

Marigold2rock:
On a more Serious note the father has pertinent questions to answer. No woman would leave her marriage with 4 children to bear the whole burden herself just because of trivial family issues. In most case scenarios the woman abandons the 4 children with the husband and elopes with a more wealthier man to start another family.

Exactly. And she really did suffer! They grew up in the hood and one of Calvin's brothers is a well known London gangster. So when you see people trying to bully the woman to support their "brother" it's sickening.

2mch:
Father is lying through his teeth. That woman probably was abandoned to take care of those kids alone reason why she changed their names and the man did not care. He’s abroad, he could have done more to disgrace the woman by ensuring the takes care of his family financially and get shared custody if he was a good person.

A whole 4 boys, does he think we no get sense? A whole 4 minor boys just disappear for years and even you no fight for them. Your eye don clear. Money de flow while you are probably getting old and money is drying up.


He cares now that CALVIN is successful. What about the other 3? Calvin, you better stay away from this guy let him not retraumatize you. Let all his friend and family who supported the abandonment of his family take care of him. There’s consequences for every action.

The family you create is who will care for you in old age not your parents, siblings or friends. All of them will run away when it’s time to support you financially. So, better throw away pride and focus on your family to ensure they are loved and well cared for and protected before any one else or your eye go see shege!

Instead of the man to plead and be patient, he's now gone to rally prominent Igbo influencers to start a social media campaign to smear the woman.

2mch:
He can’t reach his kids for several years abroad? Even in Nigeria, that is a joke. 4 boys for 18yrs and he did not care to find out how they were eating or if they have a decent roof to live under till Calvin became a star. Sure you are not this gullible.

What is it with the vitriol and insults? You know you don't need to continue quoting me if you can't act sane?