₦airaland Forum

TolkowskyCut:
Any child born under a man's roof is his child!

According to the law or Ur own opinion?

eedimo:
Keep loving the child.
It isn't the child's fault.
I can't abandon a child born under my roof because it isn't my biological child.

Do you think it's easy?

The bond is built already. I will take the child and send her away. I cant imagine leaving the child after the joy

davillian:
if the child is old enough to decide to follow the mum or stay...
the mum goes thats my own

You mean the mother is going or u are giving her second chance?

TolkowskyCut:
If you start looking for something that is not lost, you will find what you're looking for

Really? I disagree with you bro

I would rather nurture the relationship I have built over the years with the child or rather my children if I discovered that they weren't mine but fraudulently deceived by my wife to believe they were mine. Nothing in this world can separate me and the child or children that my wife gave to while being with me as my wife and under my care. Even if eventually she comes back to disclaim it or I find out during DNA test, I would never give up any child born in my house, that I have nurtured and cared for all along the years. Never.....my hate goes to the woman while the children stayed immuned to every anger in me. Ofcourse the woman would leave my house as soon as possible and meanwhile I would file for custody of the children if they are still underage but if not, I would sit them down and explain what happened to them in full.

budaatum:
It does not need to be an adopted child. Most sensible humans don't stop loving a child they loved and reared from a baby just because they discover it's not their blood when it's much older. Nor do most children abandon who nurtured them when they discover the nurturer is not their blood.

But I guess you talk for yourself, and can't understand not everyone may reason like you might. And I say "might", because I bet even you have bonds with non-relatives, not to talk of a child you nurture and love then eventually find is not blood.

A bond is built through the relationship you nurture, and not just through blood. And once you realise that in the end, your broken heart will be directed to who deceived you, but mended with the child you bonded with already. Such children in fact, end up bonded more to the decieved father than even their own blood mother, and not at all to their blood father whom they may never have met.

the situation is simple.

you’ve been spending your time and money on a human being that has zero connection to you. if you bought a house and found out a stranger was living in the basement on your dime, you wouldn't ask for the next step.
you’d kick them out with immediate effect.

you’ve been a free babysitter for someone else's mistake. the logical move is to stop the payments, walk out the door, and let the person who actually caused the problem deal with the consequences.

anything else is just you choosing to be a luser. go have a couple of beer and forget the kid ever existed. it’s not your blood so it’s not your problem.

Any child born by your legally/traditionally married wife belong to the husband.

GOLDSON888:
Forgive and forge ahead

I must admit, forgiving a spouse in such situations is never eazy.

But one thing I know, time heals the deepest wounds.

obembet:
Discovering that a child you raised from birth is not biologically yours can be one of the most devastating experiences a man may ever face. It shakes identity, trust, love, and years of sacrifice in a single moment.

Some men are emotionally strong enough to process the pain quietly and think clearly before acting. Others struggle deeply, overwhelmed by anger, betrayal, and heartbreak.

Unfortunately, in extreme cases, some make harsh decisions that damage their mental health, their future, or even land them in prison. A moment of uncontrolled emotion can lead to lifelong consequences.

Paternity fraud is becoming a serious global concern. Many believe governments and legal systems should address it more firmly before it escalates further.

But beyond laws and policies, there’s a deeply personal question every man must ask himself: If you found out your beloved son is not biologically yours

what steps would you take?

Would you walk away?
Seek legal action?
Demand accountability?
Or choose to protect the bond you’ve built over the years?

It’s a painful conversation, but an important one. Emotions are real, but so are consequences. In moments like this, wisdom matters more than anger.What would you do?

Source: Obembe Tosin

adopted him asap

Well I will not abandon this child. I will train the child like mine but it will be on the record that their mother was promiscuous. Abeg make we no dey blame women everytime. Because even we men that call ourselves married men they knack any available pkekus that comes our way. I will never pursue any woman that I later discovered gave birth to a child that's not mine after maybe DNA test.
1 I will call family meeting on the matter her family only.
2 I will continue to take care of the child.
Let me see the man that will come and tell me he owns the child. Na juju I go take finish the man life

obembet:
Discovering that a child you raised from birth is not biologically yours can be one of the most devastating experiences a man may ever face. It shakes identity, trust, love, and years of sacrifice in a single moment.

Some men are emotionally strong enough to process the pain quietly and think clearly before acting. Others struggle deeply, overwhelmed by anger, betrayal, and heartbreak.

Unfortunately, in extreme cases, some make harsh decisions that damage their mental health, their future, or even land them in prison. A moment of uncontrolled emotion can lead to lifelong consequences.

Paternity fraud is becoming a serious global concern. Many believe governments and legal systems should address it more firmly before it escalates further.

But beyond laws and policies, there’s a deeply personal question every man must ask himself: If you found out your beloved son is not biologically yours

what steps would you take?

Would you walk away?
Seek legal action?
Demand accountability?
Or choose to protect the bond you’ve built over the years?

It’s a painful conversation, but an important one. Emotions are real, but so are consequences. In moments like this, wisdom matters more than anger.What would you do?

Source: Obembe Tosin

Any child born within a valid marriage belongs to the couple. That is Nigerian law now.

It's far much better to marry a single mother, knowing fully well dt the child isn't mine than to train another man's child dt I was decieved to believe dt it's mine

Adopt the child. The umbilical cord had already been removed since.

A man who trains a child and spends money on him to be somebody in life is typically his or her father, no doubt about that. Blood maybe thicker than water, but it isn't thicker than cord. Who knows may be it's that child that will later transform your life and give you better life in the future. For me o, I will accept the child as my own, as long as he wants to be associated with me.

Seek legal action or simply walk away which is very difficult to do.

FreeStuffsNG:
If it was planned to deceive you. Once you know and don't take steps to remedy it then it could haunt you forever.

In Yoruba culture, we are taught that such a child will eventually ruin that family so you must avoid the trap.

So since Tinubu is ruining Nigeria, what are you really implying?

pdppower:
It's normal to let the go of the child early enough because one day, one day he will look out for his real father if he knows I'm not his biological father.
Blood, they say, is thicker than water.

Can keep and can let go.

Situations differs. Depends.

But that woman just cancelled her name from my circle. Letting go easy for people like us. We're used to bottling everything down, literally

[quote author=budaatum post=138532280]It does not need to be an adopted child. Most sensible humans don't stop loving a child they loved and reared from a baby just because they discover it's not their blood when it's much older. Nor do most children abandon who nurtured them when they discover the nurturer is not their blood.

But I guess you talk for yourself, and can't understand not everyone may reason like you might. And I say "might", because I bet even you have bonds with non-relatives, not to talk of a child you nurture and love then eventually find is not blood.

A bond is built through the relationship you nurture, and not just through blood. And once you realise that in the end, your broken heart will be directed to who deceived you, but mended with the child you bonded with already. Such children in fact, end up bonded more to the decieved father than even their own blood mother, and not at all to their blood father whom they may never have met.

You accept. Afterall, piking na piking 😁

FreeStuffsNG:
If it was planned to deceive you. Once you know and don't take steps to remedy it then it could haunt you forever.

In Yoruba culture, we are taught that such a child will eventually ruin that family so you must avoid the trap.

I respect the culture, but even a child that is yours can ruin your family.

Sir, you are obviously one of the emotionally intelligently rich ones here who knows love can be much thicker than blood.

wallrichy:
I would rather nurture the relationship I have built over the years with the child or rather my children if I discovered that they weren't mine but fraudulently deceived by my wife to believe they were mine. Nothing in this world can separate me and the child or children that my wife gave to while being with me as my wife and under my care. Even if eventually she comes back to disclaim it or I find out during DNA test, I would never give up any child born in my house, that I have nurtured and cared for all along the years. Never.....my hate goes to the woman while the children stayed immuned to every anger in me. Ofcourse the woman would leave my house as soon as possible and meanwhile I would file for custody of the children if they are still underage but if not, I would sit them down and explain what happened to them in full.

Kaczynski:
the situation is simple.

you’ve been spending your time and money on a human being that has zero connection to you.

You saying, all the feeding and school fees and anxiety when they were sick and joy when they succeed at something and all the wonderful moments you shared together and the love you had for them before you found out they were not your blood is not a connection?

I think I need to wait for you to grow up some more so you may realise you have more than zero connection with me that you've never met and likely never would meet, talk less of a child you thought was yours for a few years.

See all the useless men here talking rubbish, giving the woman soft landing

If I don't wear her better slap first, call me bastard

She must refund everything I spent, from the wedding to the hospital bills, if not her useless family will not hear from her again

geosegun:
Wrong. He who trains and impacted the life of the child positively owns the child, irrespective. That is why the Yorubas would say, "Ẹnì bì ọmọ, ko le da bì ẹnì to tọ ọmọ" meaning "One who gives birth to a child can not be compared to the one who trains the child".

Is that what you'll be telling the real father when he shows up or the child if he insists to go look for him?

obembet:
Discovering that a child you raised from birth is not biologically yours can be one of the most devastating experiences a man may ever face. It shakes identity, trust, love, and years of sacrifice in a single moment.

Some men are emotionally strong enough to process the pain quietly and think clearly before acting. Others struggle deeply, overwhelmed by anger, betrayal, and heartbreak.

Unfortunately, in extreme cases, some make harsh decisions that damage their mental health, their future, or even land them in prison. A moment of uncontrolled emotion can lead to lifelong consequences.

Paternity fraud is becoming a serious global concern. Many believe governments and legal systems should address it more firmly before it escalates further.

But beyond laws and policies, there’s a deeply personal question every man must ask himself: If you found out your beloved son is not biologically yours

what steps would you take?

Would you walk away?
Seek legal action?
Demand accountability?
Or choose to protect the bond you’ve built over the years?

It’s a painful conversation, but an important one. Emotions are real, but so are consequences. In moments like this, wisdom matters more than anger.What would you do?

Source: Obembe Tosin

I know one person wey no go walk away. He go accept the child. Him name na Kalulu44

heel to head JAPA JAPA

obembet:
You mean the mother is going or u are giving her second chance?

im kicking the mother out first
before i decide what to do with the child....
if the child is too young both goes.
if old enough they make thier choice to stay or go with d mother

Activate temple run.

I love the Igbo culture on this. Any child born under a man's house is his child. Period. It separates the child from whatever guilt associated with his birth. Other cultures(especially Yoruba) should learn this.