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My Experience After Relying on a Pastor’s Promise During a Difficult Time - How Broken Trust Affected My Health, Finances & Peace of Mind


(I have kept records of my communications and interactions regarding this matter)

I am sharing this anonymously because I have carried this pain alone for too long, and it has affected my health, finances, and emotional stability.

I come from a very difficult family background. For many years, I experienced emotional abuse, constant frustration, and lack of support from my parents and siblings. While my father was alive, he repeatedly told me that he would make me to be frustrated in life, he will make me to be useless, and that I would be born to regret. Even when I did the right thing, I was still abused. Living in that environment became unbearable, and I eventually left in order to preserve my sanity and try to build a life for myself.

After leaving my parents' house, I struggled to secure stable housing and rebuild my life under difficult financial and emotional conditions. In 2025, I was living in a room-and-parlor apartment with another person. We paid the rent, agreement, and agent fees 50/50. Before the rent expired, serious conflict arose between us. Her elder sister threw my belongings out without notice. My belongings remained in an uncompleted building for three days, and I became completely stranded.

In my desperation, I went to a large Pentecostal church (a well-known church, name withheld) seeking guidance and was directed to a pastor. I did not approach him on my own. He prayed with me and told me, "God has stepped into the matter." He asked me to confirm the cost of renting a new place and promised that he would pay the full rent, including agreement and agent fees. I did not ask him for financial assistance. I only needed somewhere to stay temporarily and planned to be paying ₦5,000 monthly until I could fully sort myself out. The promise was entirely his initiative.

Because of this assurance, I relied on his words. If not for that promise, I would have immediately pursued police action against the people who threw my belongings out, recovered part of my money, added what I had, and borrowed a small amount from my bank to rent a house. Instead, I waited, trusting his promise.

During this period, I stayed in an open place and was exposed to cold. My health began to suffer. When I later met the pastor in the area and asked about the promise, explaining that cold was seriously affecting me, he said:

"You are the one who said you want to leave your parents' house because they were frustrating you. You have to bear it."

He also said:

"There are many people I have promised. I am settling them little by little."

If he already had many unfulfilled promises to others, why did he make another expensive promise to me with such confidence, as if the money was already available?

He also told me that I had "stopped calling him, since I stopped calling him, he said let him see how I will look for a way out" which I found confusing - was I expected to call him constantly while waiting for him to fulfill his promise?

As time passed, he began ignoring my calls. During a phone conversation, when it was clear that I was desperate to secure accommodation, he told me:

"Don't go into prostitution to get money to rent a house."

This statement shocked and deeply humiliated me. I had never suggested or implied anything like that.

When I later shared this experience with a church member, she initially acknowledged that the pastor's actions were wrong. However, she then began offering explanations and justifications - including suggesting that the pastor made the statement to "prevent me from prostitution," and that he could not explain himself to me because doing so would be "bringing himself down to my level." This response deeply troubled me. It reflected a mindset where a pastor's status is prioritized over the dignity, pain, and wellbeing of a vulnerable person seeking help.

Eventually, because the delay became unbearable, I went to the police regarding the people who threw my belongings out and recovered part of my money (I could have recovered more if I had not relied on the pastor's promise). I informed the pastor that I now had more than half of the rent and asked him to assist with the remaining amount so I could finally rent a place. He said "He doesn't make empty promises" and promised to help me with the remaining amount. He still did nothing.

Around this time, someone invited me to a church where I was told:

"You should forgive people who have offended you and let go for your way to be open. How do you expect your way to be open when you are harboring many people in your heart?"

This made me realize how much emotional pain I had been carrying. The prolonged waiting, broken promise, and silence were destroying me. I formally reported the pastor to the church headquarters after waiting for more than four months, I also went to his office, he said he has nothing to tell me.

I did not report him because I wanted money. I reported him because of the broken promise and the emotional harm caused by months of silence. The threats came only after I made the report, and I later reported those threats too.

After I reported him, his behavior reportedly changed. He told me that I would d*e within a short time. He warned that "this trend you are embarking on will land you in a place you least expect." He said, "Don't let me see you, you won't find it funny." He later called me a thief, saying I wanted to reap where I did not sow, and told me that my life is "messed up."

From that point on, my health and emotional wellbeing deteriorated. I fell sick frequently, spent money on medications, struggled to concentrate on my business, and lost income. Eventually, I had to borrow money to rent a house on my own, which I am still going to pay back. The consequences of relying on his promise continue to affect my life in several areas (emotionally, my spirit is shattered. I can no longer concentrate or run my business properly).

I reported this matter to the church headquarters multiple times via email. I first reported this in August 2025 and sent multiple follow-up emails with no acknowledgment. After five months of complete silence, I reported again in January 2026 because the pastor's broken promise was destroying my health, finances, and emotional wellbeing. Only then did they acknowledge my complaint, apologizing for the "prolonged silence" and promising "urgent attention." However, they have since gone silent again for another month despite these assurances.

The church's repeated silence, despite multiple complaints and promises to investigate, has left me with no choice but to share this publicly. Private accountability channels have completely failed.

I am sharing this not to attack any church, but to speak about how broken promises, silence, and threatening words from someone in authority can deeply damage a vulnerable person's life.

No one should have to carry this kind of burden alone.

I am honestly asking:

• Is it right for a pastor to make strong promises to someone in distress and then disappear?
• Is it right to stop someone from going to the police and then abandon them?
• Is it okay to scare someone after they speak up?
• When does spiritual authority become harmful to a person's mental and emotional wellbeing?

Attached are supporting screenshots for transparency. Including email correspondence with church headquarters showing months of no response, and messages showing threatening behavior. Personal details have been hidden for privacy.

I am posting this anonymously for my safety, but I am open to support or advice. If you wish to reach out, please contact me via this email: voiceunheardstories@gmail.com

This is my personal experience and understanding of events as they occurred.

#ChurchAccountability #SpiritualAbuse #PastoralMisconduct #Nigeria #BreakTheSilence #JusticeForVulnerable

I'm reading comments for now..

Honestly , I don't know what to tell you.

The Pastor does not owe you money even if he promised you.Going to report him to his church leadership is way out of line.

If you borrowed him money and he did not pay back is a different thing entirely.

Now you biggest problem is that YOU TALK TOO MUCH.

Telling strangers that your father hated you and does not want you to amount to anything in life is very naive of you. You may be seeking for pity but what people are hearing is that they have permission to maltreat you because even your own father hates you.

Stop telling any human being that.

Leave the Pastor alone...even though he is a shitty human being as many of them are.

Figure out how to fix your life. And continually pray to reverse the curse that your father placed on you...him too na useless man.

Unless you did something really bad to him that you are not telling us or your mother brought another man's pregnancy to him.That may be the only justifi ations for his bad utterrances.

Above all, NOBODY in this life owes you anything and you need to stop telling strangers and friends of your family issues.

They will listen and empathize at first but eventually you will become repulsive to them.

Lessons from life. Keep your good to your self and your pain to your self...nobody send you message for this life. Fight for the future that you want and if you are lucky and someone helps you...good , if not you move on quietly without making a fuss.

You get for body ooo. I no go lie you.

Change your character too

I believe the OP is a very toxic person.
You have problems with your parents, you had problems with your roommate and now you are having problems with your pastor. Na only you come, haba.

Pastor promised you assistance and he failed the next thing is to report the pastor to his headquarters as if he is owing you money or he is the cause of all your problems.

Na promise the pastor promise, he no owe you anything.
You have a very misplaced sense of entitlement and this is causing problems with people around you.

otipoju:
Honestly , I don't know what to tell you.

The Pastor does not owe you money even if he promised you.Going to report him to his church leadership is way out of line.

If you borrowed him money and he did not pay back is a different thing entirely.

Now you biggest problem is that YOU TALK TOO MUCH.

Telling strangers that your father hated you and does not want you to amount to anything in life is ver very naive of you...you think you are seeking for pity but what people are hearing is that they have permission to maltreat you because even your own father hates you.

Stop telling any human being that.

Leave the Pastor alone...even though he is a shitty human being as many of them are.

Figure out how to fix your life. And continually pray to reverse the curse that your father placed on you...him too na useless man.

Unless you did something bad to him that you are not telling us or your mother did brought another man's pregnancy to him.

Above all, NOBODY in this life owes you anything and you need to stop telling strangers and friends of you family issues.

They will listen and empathize at first but you will become repulsive to them.

Lessons from life. Keep your good to your self and your pain to your self...nobody send you message for this life. Fight for the future that you want and if you are lucky and someone helps you...good , if not you move on quietly without making a fuss.

You get for body ooo. I no go lie you.

Change your character too

The pastor don't owe me neither did I ask for financial assistance from him before he made an expensive promise. Delayed/deprived me from taking proper steps to get out of my situation. He even asked me not to report people who threw my belongings out to the police and made the promise with confidence as if the money is already in his account. I asked him several times without number "will his promise work?" If it won't work, let me forget about it, but he kept ignoring me. Assuming he told me earlier that it won't work, it won't have affected me this way.

Before someone will make such an expensive promise to someone in distress, the person supposed to think twice. He didn't even say he will support me with what I have, he promised to pay for everything.

Sangoamadioha1:
I believe the OP is a very toxic person.
You have problems with your parents, you had problems with your roommate and now you are having problems with your pastor. Na only you come, haba.

Pastor promised you assistance and he failed the next thing is to report the pastor to his headquarters as if he is owing you money or he is the cause of all your problems.

Na promise the pastor promise, he no owe you anything.
You have a very misplaced sense of entitlement and this is causing problems with people around you.

It wasn't just a promise. It was made to someone in distress. Before a person makes this kind of expensive promise, the person supposed to think twice. He shouldn't have stop me from going to the police to recover part of my money so that I can get some money to rent a house. I even told him that I have gotten more than half of the money, yet he did nothing.

You have a deeply flaw*d way of reaso*ing.

Sangoamadioha1:
I believe the OP is a very toxic person.
You have problems with your parents, you had problems with your roommate and now you are having problems with your pastor. Na only you come, haba.

Pastor promised you assistance and he failed the next thing is to report the pastor to his headquarters as if he is owing you money or he is the cause of all your problems.

Na promise the pastor promise, he no owe you anything.
You have a very misplaced sense of entitlement and this is causing problems with people around you.

What you just typed here is about you, not me. What if the people in question cannot say what I did wrong? Didn't you see it there were I wrote "that I was asked to forgive people who has offended me for my way to be open"? If I am the one at fault, when the matter was reported to the elders of the church where my roommate worships, why was she and her elder sister told that they owe me an apology? Was she able to say what I did wrong, including her elder sister? For your information, she later beg me after doing as she like, hoping that with the begging, our relationship will be as it was before, but it didn't work.

So what you are saying here, since you don't have manners, is saying more about you that it's coming from. Everybody cannot be like you.

voiceunheard:
The pastor don't owe me neither did I ask for financial assistance from him before he made an expensive promise. Delayed/deprived me from taking proper steps to get out of my situation. He even asked me not to report people who threw my belongings out to the police and made the promise with confidence as if the money is already in his account. I asked him several times without number "will his promise work?" If it won't work, let me forget about it, but he kept ignoring me. Assuming he told me earlier that it won't work, it won't have affected me this way.

Before someone will make such an expensive promise to someone in distress, the person supposed to think twice. He didn't even say he will support me with what I have, he promised to pay for everything.

I am a very very compassionate human being...especially strangers but from reading what you wrote and your response to my honest feedback to your initial post, I already feel that you are best avoided.

You go like trouble no be small.

No one is saying what the Pastor did is right...but you simply can not let go and that is not a good attitude to have for any healthy relationship.

If you like carry all the whole forces in the world he does not owe you money.

He promised yes and changed his mind.
Even though his decision affected you, he still does not owe you money.

Let him be and move on and stop knocking on a closed door. That energy that is being drained by that is better channeled towards resolving the problem yourself.

voiceunheard:
What you just typed here is about you, not me. What if the people in question cannot say what I did wrong? Didn't you see it there were I wrote "that I was asked to forgive people who has offended me for my way to be open"? If I am the one at fault, when the matter was reported to the elders of the church where my roommate worships, why was she and her elder sister told that they owe me an apology? Was she able to say what I did wrong, including her elder sister? For your information, she later beg me after doing as she like, hoping that with the begging, our relationship will be as it was before, but it didn't work.

[/b]So what you are saying here, since you don't have manners, is saying more about you that it's coming from. Everybody cannot be like you.

[b]


You are proving my point 🫤

otipoju:
I am a very very compassionate human being...especially strangers but from reading what you wrote and your response to my honest feedback to your initial post, I already feel that you are best avoided.

You go like trouble no be small.

No one is saying g what the Pastor did is right...but you can not let go and that is not a good attitude to have for any healthy relationship.

If you like carry all the whole forces in the world he does not owe you money.

He promised yes and changed his mind.
Even though his decision affected you, he still does not owe you money.

Let him be and move on and stop knocking on a closed door.

I have already told him since August last year that I am not longer interested. So I am not hoping to get anything from him, and even if he will ever fulfill his promise, I won't accept it.

Sangoamadioha1:
[b][/b]


You are proving my point 🫤

Because you are speechless, that is why you just cut it short.

voiceunheard:
My Experience After Relying on a Pastor’s Promise During a Difficult Time - How Broken Trust Affected My Health, Finances & Peace of Mind


I informed the pastor that I now had more than half of the rent and asked him to assist with the remaining amount so I could finally rent a place. He still did nothing.

If you can write so well like this then you should not have typed with such entitlement mentality.


You have been choosing the wrong battles and that makes you destroy valuable relationships and opportunities. I sensed that you are doing so deliberately in a narcisistic manner. That is not your purpose in life.

That man may not be useful to you financially but he could give you great recommendations or put kind words for you but you focused only on his weak point and choose to battle with him and completely destroy the relationship.

He's a Pastor and he probably is one of those with positive affirmations so much that he erred by promising to help you but failed even though he explained to you that he has limited resources and you should bear with him.

Yet you are bent on destroying him.

Ha! This reminds me of KWAM1's song warning in Yoruba that one should be careful when doing good. That man don buy market from you like your ex-room mate, the elder sister, your siblings, your parents etc.

Abeg calm down o. This life na jeje and nobody owes you anything. Pray for wisdom, patience and spirit of humility and reconcillation. You are burning too many bridges and it is dangerous for your today and future.

Just imagine being married? At least your parents lived married together.

voiceunheard:
It wasn't just a promise. It was made to someone in distress. Before a person makes this kind of expensive promise, the person supposed to think twice. He shouldn't have stop me from going to the police to recover part of my money so that I can get some money to rent a house. I even told him that I have gotten more than half of the money, yet he did nothing.

Don't just stop at reporting to the pastor's headquarters, please report him to police too so that he can be arrested for failing to fulfill his promise to you.
Like I said earlier, your sense of entitlement is out of this world.

voiceunheard:
Because you are speechless, that is why you just cut it short.

Yes I am speechless at your misplaced sense of entitlement. It is quite shocking that there are people like you. I pray never to meet someone like you physically.

voiceunheard:
I have already told him since August last year that I am not longer interested. So I am not hoping to get anything from him, and even if he will ever fulfill his promise, I won't accept it.

Okay then let him be. You are still holding on to the pain. Let go and move on. Life has not ended.

voiceunheard:
The pastor don't owe me neither did I ask for financial assistance from him before he made an expensive promise. Delayed/deprived me from taking proper steps to get out of my situation. He even asked me not to report people who threw my belongings out to the police and made the promise with confidence as if the money is already in his account. I asked him several times without number "will his promise work?" If it won't work, let me forget about it, but he kept ignoring me. Assuming he told me earlier that it won't work, it won't have affected me this way.

Before someone will make such an expensive promise to someone in distress, the person supposed to think twice. He didn't even say he will support me with what I have, he promised to pay for everything.

What if the pastor died( God forbid) after making that promise, what would you have done?

Don't put your confidence in man, for the arm of flesh can fail you. Trust only on God.


Work on yourself as no one owes you.

Sangoamadioha1:
Don't just stop at reporting to the pastor's headquarters, please report him to police too so that he can be arrested for failing to fulfill his promise to you.
Like I said earlier, your sense of entitlement is out of this world.

Like I said before, everything you are typing here says more about YOU that it's coming from.

Sangoamadioha1:
Yes I am speechless at your misplaced sense of entitlement. It is quite shocking that there are people like you. I pray never to meet someone like you physically.

From your first response, it already shows the kind of reasoning you have. Neither do I pray to meet your type.

Please, just pass by if you have nothing reasonable to say. Take care

Bodydiialect57:
If you heard that the pastor has died( God forbid) after making that promise, what would you have done?

Don't put your confidence in man, for the arm of flesh can fail you. Trust only on God.


Work on yourself as no one owes you.

That could have been a different case.

FreeStuffsNG:
If can write so well like this then you should not have typed with such entitlement mentality.


You have been choosing the wrong battles and that makes you destroy valuable relationships and opportunities. I sensed that you are doing so deliberately in a narcisistic manner. That is not your purpose in life.

That man may not be useful to you financially but he could give you great recommendations or put kind words for you but you focused only on his weak point and choose to battle with him and completely destroy the relationship.

He's a Pastor and he probably is one of those with positive affirmations so much that he erred by promising to help you but failed even though he explained to you that he has limited resources and you should bear with him.

Yet you are bent on destroying him.

Ha! This reminds me of KWAM1's song warning in Yoruba that one should be careful when doing good. That man don buy market from you like your ex-room mate, the elder sister, your siblings, your parents etc.

Abeg calm down o. This life na jeje and nobody owes you anything. Pray for wisdom, patience and spirit of humility and reconcillation. You are burning too many bridges and it is dangerous for your today and future.

Just imagine being married? At least your parents lived married together.

Your conclusion is wrong. I never said he explained anything. I said he ignored me completely after making the promise and keeping me waiting for more than 4 months, I even went to his office, he said he has nothing to tell me. Read again

Op, I feel for your condition and the treatments.

But you need to fix yourself, your mindset and your confidence.

Even your moniker here needs to be changed. See things on the positive first, pray and continue to do good while pursuing your goals.

It can never be rainy forever.

Wait ooh I am missing something here, a pastor made an empty promise to you even after several signs showing he is not going to be of help, yet you still drag him to the church headquarters. There is something you are not telling us. Did the pastor sleep with you? Because I don't understand how someone failed to honor his promises and then you took it all out as if that person is owning you.

sorosoke101:
Wait ooh I am missing something here, a pastor made an empty promise to you even after several signs showing he is not going to be of help, yet you still drag him to the church headquarters. There is something you are not telling us. Did the pastor sleep with you? Because I don't understand how someone failed to honor his promises and then you took it all out as if that person is owning you.

He caused me financial harm, delayed/deprived me from taking proper steps to get out of my situation. He also put me into debt, where I am living presently, I have told my landlord that I will be leaving there once my money expires. While waiting for him to fulfill his promise, where I was staying, they were putting me under pressure to leave the place because I had stayed there for too long, there was no time for me to look for a good house, and I ended up renting a house I don't like. Me leaving the house after my rent expires, I still have to pay another agreement and agent fees again to rent another house, all as a result of relying on his promise.

I have to drag him to the church because I accepted less than the money I could have accept from people who threw my belongings out (that he asked me not to report to the police), as a result of relying on his promise.

Where I was told I should forgive people who have offended me, the way they told me that is also what gave me the courage to report him because if I don't report him, I may never be able to forgive him and him will not know the depth of what he has done.

Everyone keep saying he don't owe me, did I ask him for financial assistance before he made the promise? Why will he even be telling me that "I stopped calling him"? Am I expected to be calling him often (maybe be begging him because he made a promise)?

Are you a man or woman? Because you mentioned female roommate.

In my humble opinion, These experiences you have narrated here leaves you with two choices,

1. I" will teach him/her a lesson"
2. "I leave am for God and move on"

The choice is yours.

Some will say one is a coward for not fighting, speaking up, defending one's right.

The reason there's gun violence in USA, the world is staring at another world war, chaos in family and larger society is because of people generally trying to prove their point and their rights, have their say and their way.

And because Nobody wan gree for anybody.

No wonder most organization are planning to replace human beings with machines and AI because of things like this.

voiceunheard:
He caused me financial harm, delayed/deprived me from taking proper steps to get out of my situation. He also put me into debt, where I am living presently, I have told my landlord that I will be leaving there once my money expires. While waiting for him to fulfill his promise, where I was staying, they were putting me under pressure to leave the place because I had stayed there for too long, there was no time for me to look for a good house, and I ended up renting a house I don't like. Me leaving the house after my rent expires, I still have to pay another agreement and agent fees again to rent another house, all as a result of relying on his promise.

I have to drag him to the church because I accepted less than the money I could have accept from people who threw my belongings out (that he asked me not to report to the police), as a result of relying on his promise.

Where I was told I should forgive people who have offended me, the way they told me that is also what gave me the courage to report him because if I don't report him, I may never be able to forgive him and him will not know the depth of what he has done.

Everyone keep saying he don't owe me, did I ask him for financial assistance before he made the promise? Why will he even be telling me that "I stopped calling him"? Am I expected to be calling him often (maybe be begging him because he made a promise)?

well my advice for you is just to move on. You might be suffering now just for you to enjoy later. The stone the builders rejected might still be the chief cornerstone

Sangoamadioha1:
Don't just stop at reporting to the pastor's headquarters, please report him to police too so that he can be arrested for failing to fulfill his promise to you.
Like I said earlier, your sense of entitlement is out of this world.

You are already lost.

I am yet to report his threats to the police.

Many Nigerian Pastors are no good. However, you yourself thought you don find maga when it's likely audio help he had promised you. I wonder if he told you he was going to help you by getting you a new apartment and paying for it while the person who took you to him was there or if other people were around and he just wanted them to think he really was going to help you knowing he had no intention to. It wasn't a good idea to rely solely on the Pastor - waiting for him to get you the new apartment he said he would get you and pay for, lol. You could've reached out to others around you, another church, come on Nairaland and people could've given you ideas on what to do next, or better yet, get your money back immediately from your ex-roommate and try to get another place with that money.

As for the broken promise claim, there's nothing you can do about it. If you were to sue him, for example, you wouldn't win because it doesn't constitute a binding legal contract. The latter involves an agreement pertaining to an exchange of some sort (e.g. a service), such as one person offering a service and then the other accepting that offer and giving them something in return (e.g. money or payment). Now if one party doesn't fulfill their own end of the agreement by the set date and the other loses money or resources involving money, then it could be a court case. In this situation, the only person offering to do anything here is the Pastor and the offer is help and to do so freely without you giving him anything (e.g. money) in return. Moreover, unless he told you he would get you the apartment by a particular date, he could claim he intended to get it for you or was working on it, and he did tell you, "There are many people I have promised. I am settling them little by little". Thus, this isn't a binding verbal contract.

As for you blaming him for not getting all your money back, that doesn't hold any water either. Whatever agreement you had pertaining to that money was between you and your roommate and perhaps her sister who threw your things out, not you and the Pastor, so if they didn't give you your full money back, you're supposed to blame them, not him. It was your responsibility to contact the Police right away when your things were thrown out to sort that out with those people. You cannot turn around now and blame him for them not returning all the money because it had nothing to do with him, somebody you didn't have a binding verbal legal agreement to begin with. You thought the Pastor was going to find you that new apartment, pay for it, and probably give you money as well, and wasn't concerned about getting your money back from those people initially, but because the so-called promise didn't work out and you failed to get your money back from those people at the right time and as a result, they didn't give you all the money back, you're blaming the Pastor when this wasn't his fault.

I'm not taking the Pastor's side at all and like I said above, many Nigerian Pastors are no good, but it's obvious you're just looking for someone to blame in this situation and refuse to take accountability for yourself. You're also rather entitled because the Pastor didn't/doesn't owe you anything. If someone promises to help you and don't, you face front and find other alternatives to help yourself, not blame that person for this or that.

The only thing I would blame the Pastor for are the threats. You should go to the Police. He shouldn't be threatening you and he's obviously not a good Pastor (I wouldn't even call him a Pastor at this point) if he's doing that. However, you yourself took things too far by reporting him to the church's headquarters. If you think he wronged you by failing to help or not keeping to this so-called promise, you should've left him to God and not attend his church (and you didn't say you were an attendee). Reporting him to the church or church's headquarters wasn't necessary. It's only an entitled person that would take things that far.

There's one Nairalander that people on here have sent lots of money to over the years because this person was always opening threads talking about being stranded, staying in an uncompleted building, her sister throwing her out, staying at a church...Idk if you're the same person but sound like them.

Sangoamadioha1:
Don't just stop at reporting to the pastor's headquarters, please report him to police too so that he can be arrested for failing to fulfill his promise to you.
Like I said earlier, your sense of entitlement is out of this world.

I didn’t come there demanding anything - I came to the church seeking help for a place to stay and be paying till I the complete money to rent a house, and was given a promise. Relying on someone’s word isn’t entitlement, it’s trust. What’s out of this world’ is how easily people dismiss pain they’ve never lived through.

NotOfThisWorld:
Many Nigerian Pastors are no good. However, you yourself thought you don find maga when it's likely audio help he had promised you. I wonder if he told you he was going to help you by getting you a new apartment and paying for it while the person who took you to him was there or if other people were around and he just wanted to impress them/have them think he really was going to help you knowing he had no intention to. It wasn't a good idea to rely solely on the Pastor - waiting for him to come take you to the new apartment he said he would get you and pay for, lol. You could've reached out to others around you, another church, come on Nairaland and people could've given you ideas on what to do next, or better yet, get your money back immediately from your ex-roommate and try to get another place with that money.

As for the broken promise claim, there's nothing you can do about it. If you were to sue him, for example, you wouldn't win because it doesn't constitute a binding legal contract. The latter involves an agreement pertaining to an exchange of some sort (e.g. a service), such as one person offering a service and then the other accepting that offer and giving them something in return (e.g. money or payment). Now if one party doesn't fulfill their own end of the agreement by the set date and the other loses money or resources involving money, then it could be a court case. In this situation, the only person offering to do anything here is the Pastor and the offer is help and to do so freely without you giving him anything (e.g. money) in return. Moreover, unless he told you he would get you the apartment by a particular date, he could claim he intended to get it for you or was working on it, and he did tell you, "There are many people I have promised. I am settling them little by little". Thus, this isn't a binding verbal contract.

As for you blaming him for not getting all your money back, that doesn't hold any water either. Whatever agreement you had pertaining to that money was between you and your roommate and perhaps her sister who threw your things out, not you and the Pastor, so if they didn't give you your full money back, you're supposed to blame them, not him. It was your responsibility to contact the Police right away when your things were thrown out to sort that out with those people. You cannot turn around now and blame him for them not returning all the money because it had nothing to do with him, somebody you didn't have a binding verbal legal agreement to begin with. You thought the Pastor was going to find you that new apartment, pay for it, and probably give you money as well, and wasn't concerned about getting your money back from those people at first, but because they didn't give you all the money back you're blaming the Pastor when this isn't his fault.

I'm not taking the Pastor's side at all and like I said above, many Nigerian Pastors are no good, but it's obvious you're just looking for someone to blame in this situation and refuse to take accountability for yourself. You're also rather entitled because the Pastor didn't/doesn't owe you anything. If someone promises to help you and don't, you face front and find other alternatives to help yourself, not blame them for this or that.

There's one Nairalander that people on here have sent lots of money to over the years because this person was always talking about being stranded, staying in an uncompleted building, her sister throwing her out, staying at a church...Idk if you're the same person but sound like them.

Did you read to the end before commenting? The pastor asked me not to report the matter to police and promise to give me the money to rent a house, not necessarily him chosing the apartment and paying by himself. I never said it was his responsibility to report the matter to the police.

If not for his promise that made my mind to calm down, assuming I know that the whole responsibility of rent is on me, I won't have accepted the amount that was given to me at the police station. There was a man there who was begging me to accept the amount, if not for the pastor's promise, I would have gone to the police station earlier, the pastor was the one who asked me not to go to the police, and I won't have accepted the amount that was given to me.

The pastor caused me financial harm.

You saying I should have just accepted it and move on, after he has caused me financial harm? Delayed/deprived me from taking proper steps to get out of my situation? And later ignoring me after keeping me waiting/stranded for more than 4 months?

You don't know the full story/experience, so you will not just conclude that I would have just moved on as if it is that easy.

I later told him I have more than half of the money to rent a house, and he still didn't do anything.

There was just one witness there, the person who took me to him, when he made the promise.

NotOfThisWorld:
Many Nigerian Pastors are no good. However, you yourself thought you don find maga when it's likely audio help he had promised you. I wonder if he told you he was going to help you by getting you a new apartment and paying for it while the person who took you to him was there or if other people were around and he just wanted them to think he really was going to help you knowing he had no intention to. It wasn't a good idea to rely solely on the Pastor - waiting for him to get you the new apartment he said he would get you and pay for, lol. You could've reached out to others around you, another church, come on Nairaland and people could've given you ideas on what to do next, or better yet, get your money back immediately from your ex-roommate and try to get another place with that money.

As for the broken promise claim, there's nothing you can do about it. If you were to sue him, for example, you wouldn't win because it doesn't constitute a binding legal contract. The latter involves an agreement pertaining to an exchange of some sort (e.g. a service), such as one person offering a service and then the other accepting that offer and giving them something in return (e.g. money or payment). Now if one party doesn't fulfill their own end of the agreement by the set date and the other loses money or resources involving money, then it could be a court case. In this situation, the only person offering to do anything here is the Pastor and the offer is help and to do so freely without you giving him anything (e.g. money) in return. Moreover, unless he told you he would get you the apartment by a particular date, he could claim he intended to get it for you or was working on it, and he did tell you, "There are many people I have promised. I am settling them little by little". Thus, this isn't a binding verbal contract.

As for you blaming him for not getting all your money back, that doesn't hold any water either. Whatever agreement you had pertaining to that money was between you and your roommate and perhaps her sister who threw your things out, not you and the Pastor, so if they didn't give you your full money back, you're supposed to blame them, not him. It was your responsibility to contact the Police right away when your things were thrown out to sort that out with those people. You cannot turn around now and blame him for them not returning all the money because it had nothing to do with him, somebody you didn't have a binding verbal legal agreement to begin with. You thought the Pastor was going to find you that new apartment, pay for it, and probably give you money as well, and wasn't concerned about getting your money back from those people initially, but because the so-called promise didn't work out and you failed to get your money back from those people at the right time and as a result, they didn't give you all the money back, you're blaming the Pastor when this wasn't his fault.

I'm not taking the Pastor's side at all and like I said above, many Nigerian Pastors are no good, but it's obvious you're just looking for someone to blame in this situation and refuse to take accountability for yourself. You're also rather entitled because the Pastor didn't/doesn't owe you anything. If someone promises to help you and don't, you face front and find other alternatives to help yourself, not blame that person for this or that.

The only thing I would blame the Pastor for are the threats. You should go to the Police. He shouldn't be threatening you and he's obviously not a good Pastor (I wouldn't even call him a Pastor at this point) if he's doing that. However, you yourself took things too far by reporting him to the church's headquarters. If you think he wronged you by failing to help or not keeping to this so-called promise, you should've left him to God and not attend his church (and you didn't say you were an attendee). Reporting him to the church or church's headquarters wasn't necessary. It's only an entitled person that would take things that far.

There's one Nairalander that people on here have sent lots of money to over the years because this person was always talking about being stranded, staying in an uncompleted building, her sister throwing her out, staying at a church...Idk if you're the same person but sound like them.

Anyone saying that I went too far to report him is saying that from the comfort of him/her not being the one harmed.

I am 1000% right to report him.

If I didn't report him, I may never be able to forgive him for what he did.

The pastor has a hidden agenda for not fulfilling his promise, if not why didn't he open up? Till now he hasn't said why he didn't fulfill his promise. Maybe he wanted me to go back to where I have been frustrated for years.

If not for relying on his promise, I would have rented a house like 3 to 4 months after my belongings were thrown out. His promise was a HUGE setback to me.

voiceunheard:
The pastor don't owe me neither did I ask for financial assistance from him before he made an expensive promise. Delayed/deprived me from taking proper steps to get out of my situation. He even asked me not to report people who threw my belongings out to the police and made the promise with confidence as if the money is already in his account. I asked him several times without number "will his promise work?" If it won't work, let me forget about it, but he kept ignoring me. Assuming he told me earlier that it won't work, it won't have affected me this way.

Before someone will make such an expensive promise to someone in distress, the person supposed to think twice. He didn't even say he will support me with what I have, he promised to pay for everything.

Na women dey get this entitlement mentality like the pastor owed u a dogsh..t. We the citizen of Nigeria way Tulumbu promised us better life and he no do am did we report him to satan. Noone hold u a dime if u havent kept something with them. Moreover u didnt tell us the full story. For a lady to hold a man this tightly, did he sleep with u with a promise which he failed because that is the only way u can go this far for a promise not fulfilled