₦airaland Forum

Dogalmighty17:
I have never read a post and series of replies from a more toxic person ever. Picking fights with people who want to even have an objective approach to discussing the matter, not being open to any form of correction and proceeding to curse strangers she's never even met. Everyone can't be wrong and only one person right all the time. Unless the poster of this narrative looks deep within her, help will perpetually be far from her.

FreeStuffsNG:
If can write so well like this then you should not have typed with such entitlement mentality.


You have been choosing the wrong battles and that makes you destroy valuable relationships and opportunities. I sensed that you are doing so deliberately in a narcisistic manner. That is not your purpose in life.

That man may not be useful to you financially but he could give you great recommendations or put kind words for you but you focused only on his weak point and choose to battle with him and completely destroy the relationship.

He's a Pastor and he probably is one of those with positive affirmations so much that he erred by promising to help you but failed even though he explained to you that he has limited resources and you should bear with him.

Yet you are bent on destroying him.

Ha! This reminds me of KWAM1's song warning in Yoruba that one should be careful when doing good. That man don buy market from you like your ex-room mate, the elder sister, your siblings, your parents etc.

Abeg calm down o. This life na jeje and nobody owes you anything. Pray for wisdom, patience and spirit of humility and reconcillation. You are burning too many bridges and it is dangerous for your today and future.

Just imagine being married? At least your parents lived married together.

sorosoke101:
Wait ooh I am missing something here, a pastor made an empty promise to you even after several signs showing he is not going to be of help, yet you still drag him to the church headquarters. There is something you are not telling us. Did the pastor sleep with you? Because I don't understand how someone failed to honor his promises and then you took it all out as if that person is owning you.

SixSeven:

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7159349897223851310

borie4u:
Na women dey get this entitlement mentality like the pastor owed u a dogsh..t. We the citizen of Nigeria way Tulumbu promised us better life and he no do am did we report him to satan. Noone hold u a dime if u havent kept something with them. Moreover u didnt tell us the full story. For a lady to hold a man this tightly, did he sleep with u with a promise which he failed because that is the only way u can go this far for a promise not fulfilled

Dogalmighty17:
I have never read a post and series of replies from a more toxic person ever. Picking fights with people who want to even have an objective approach to discussing the matter, not being open to any form of correction and proceeding to curse strangers she's never even met. Everyone can't be wrong and only one person right all the time. Unless the poster of this narrative looks deep within her, help will perpetually be far from her.

SisterAnn:
Thank God that pastor never helped you. You don't deserve it.

SisterAnn:
Thank God that pastor never helped you. You don't deserve it.

Bahamas95:
Someone in the front page said you talk too much and I concur, that's one of your problems. Learn to hold back personal information, sharing it with the wrong people is disastrous because they'll definitely use it against you.


The mistake you made is trusting a pastor, "PASTOR" is just title. It doesn't make the person a saint. Majority of Nigerian pastors are .................if I decribe what they truly are the mods would ban me.


Nigerian pastors don't help, they believe it's their right to receive because they're the ones praying for you. As if I don't have mouth to pray for myself.

I would rather believe what comes outta the mouth of a babalawo than what a Nigerian pastor would tell me....... Majority of them are liars, even the stories they tell whenever they mount pulpit are either lies or exaggerated stories.

voiceunheard:
You and the pastor belong to the same category, those the Bible calls "wolf in sheep's clothing".

His promise was just eye service. But he will definitely face the consequences of what he has done. He will pay for every bit of pain he has caused me.

voiceunheard:
You got the post/message clearly. Why I included person information is for people to know how vulnerable I was when the pastor made an expensive promise, the extent his unkept promise would affect me, because I have been carrying pain for a very long time.

Some will see me as being wicked for reporting the pastor, but they won't understand the depth of what he has done.

voiceunheard:
It wasn't just a promise. It was made to someone in distress. Before a person makes this kind of expensive promise, the person supposed to think twice. He shouldn't have stop me from going to the police to recover part of my money so that I can get some money to rent a house. I even told him that I have gotten more than half of the money, yet he did nothing.

voiceunheard:
My Experience After Relying on a Pastor’s Promise During a Difficult Time - How Broken Trust Affected My Health, Finances & Peace of Mind


(I have kept records of my communications and interactions regarding this matter)

I am sharing this anonymously because I have carried this pain alone for too long, and it has affected my health, finances, and emotional stability.

I come from a very difficult family background. For many years, I experienced emotional abuse, constant frustration, and lack of support from my parents and siblings. While my father was alive, he repeatedly told me that he would make sure I was frustrated in life, that I would be useless, and that I would be born to regret. Even when I did the right thing, I was still abused. Living in that environment became unbearable, and I eventually left in order to preserve my sanity and try to build a life for myself.

After leaving my parents' house, I struggled to secure stable housing and rebuild my life under difficult financial and emotional conditions. In 2025, I was living in a room-and-parlor apartment with another person. We paid the rent, agreement, and agent fees 50/50. Before the rent expired, serious conflict arose between us. Her elder sister threw my belongings out without notice. My belongings remained in an uncompleted building for three days, and I became completely stranded.

In my desperation, I went to a large Pentecostal church (a well-known church, name withheld) seeking guidance and was directed to a pastor. I did not approach him on my own. He prayed with me and told me, "God has stepped into the matter." He asked me to confirm the cost of renting a new place and promised that he would pay the full rent, including agreement and agent fees. I did not ask him for financial assistance. I only needed somewhere to stay temporarily and planned to be paying ₦5,000 monthly until I could fully sort myself out. The promise was entirely his initiative.

Because of this assurance, I relied on his words. If not for that promise, I would have immediately pursued police action against the people who threw my belongings out, recovered part of my money, added what I had, and borrowed a small amount from my bank to rent a house. Instead, I waited, trusting his promise.

During this period, I stayed in an open place and was exposed to cold. My health began to suffer. When I later met the pastor in the area and asked about the promise, explaining that cold was seriously affecting me, he said:

"You are the one who said you want to leave your parents' house because they were frustrating you. You have to bear it."

He also said:

"There are many people I have promised. I am settling them little by little."

If he already had many unfulfilled promises to others, why did he make another expensive promise to me with such confidence, as if the money was already available?

He also told me that I had 'stopped calling him,' which I found confusing - was I expected to call him constantly while waiting for him to fulfill his promise?

As time passed, he began ignoring my calls. During a phone conversation, when it was clear that I was desperate to secure accommodation, he told me:

"Don't go into prostitution to get money to rent a house."

This statement shocked and deeply humiliated me. I had never suggested or implied anything like that.

When I later shared this experience with a church member, she initially acknowledged that the pastor's actions were wrong. However, she then began offering explanations and justifications - including suggesting that the pastor made the statement to "prevent me from prostitution," and that he could not explain himself to me because doing so would be "bringing himself down to my level." This response deeply troubled me. It reflected a mindset where a pastor's status is prioritized over the dignity, pain, and wellbeing of a vulnerable person seeking help.

Eventually, because the delay became unbearable, I went to the police regarding the people who threw my belongings out and recovered part of my money (I could have recovered more if I had not relied on the pastor's promise). I informed the pastor that I now had more than half of the rent and asked him to assist with the remaining amount so I could finally rent a place. He still did nothing.

Around this time, someone invited me to a church where I was told:

"You should forgive people who have offended you and let go for your way to be open. How do you expect your way to be open when you are harboring many people in your heart?"

This made me realize how much emotional pain I had been carrying. The prolonged waiting, broken promise, and silence were destroying me. I formally reported the pastor to the church headquarters after more than four months of ignored calls and messages, I also went to his office, he said he has nothing to tell me.

I did not report him because I wanted money. I reported him because of the broken promise and the emotional harm caused by months of silence. The threats came only after I made the report, and I later reported those threats too.

After I reported him, his behavior reportedly changed. He told me that I would d*e within a short time. He warned that "this trend you are embarking on will land you in a place you least expect." He said, "Don't let me see you, you won't find it funny." He later called me a thief, saying I wanted to reap where I did not sow, and told me that my life is "messed up."

From that point on, my health and emotional wellbeing deteriorated. I fell sick frequently, spent money on medications, struggled to concentrate on my business, and lost income. Eventually, I had to borrow money to rent a house on my own, which I am still going to pay back. The consequences of relying on his promise continue to affect my life in several areas (emotionally, my spirit is shattered. I can no longer concentrate or run my business properly).

I reported this matter to the church headquarters multiple times via email. I first reported this in August 2025 and sent multiple follow-up emails with no acknowledgment. After five months of complete silence, I reported again in January 2026 because the pastor's broken promise was destroying my health, finances, and emotional wellbeing. Only then did they acknowledge my complaint, apologizing for the "prolonged silence" and promising "urgent attention." However, they have since gone silent again for another month despite these assurances.

The church's repeated silence, despite multiple complaints and promises to investigate, has left me with no choice but to share this publicly. Private accountability channels have completely failed.

I am sharing this not to attack any church, but to speak about how broken promises, silence, and threatening words from someone in authority can deeply damage a vulnerable person's life.

No one should have to carry this kind of burden alone.

I am honestly asking:

• Is it right for a pastor to make strong promises to someone in distress and then disappear?
• Is it right to stop someone from going to the police and then abandon them?
• Is it okay to scare someone after they speak up?
• When does spiritual authority become harmful to a person's mental and emotional wellbeing?

Attached are supporting screenshots for transparency. Including email correspondence with church headquarters showing months of no response, and messages showing threatening behavior. Personal details have been hidden for privacy.

I am posting this anonymously for my safety, but I am open to support or advice. If you wish to reach out, please contact me via this email: voiceunheardstories@gmail.com

This is my personal experience and understanding of events as they occurred.

#ChurchAccountability #SpiritualAbuse #PastoralMisconduct #Nigeria #BreakTheSilence #JusticeForVulnerable

voiceunheard:
I know that you are a doubting Thomas, there is no need for me trying to explain anything to you, I fabricated everything.

After going straight to the police station to report as you said, the police people will look for where I will pass the night that day? Even if the police ask them to allow me into the house, if you are the one, you will park your things in and still be at the mercy of/ allow your days to be determined by a hardened liar, by someone who said "you shouldn't look at her negative side, you should look at her positive side" and her sister said "maturity is not by age, even if her younger sister doesn't show maturity, you are suppose to show maturity". You have never been so stranded in your entire life I guess so, that is why it is very easy for you to say.

At this moment, you won't even be able to think straight until you have seen a place to be staying. Not to talk of concluding about going to the police station straight, especially if you have not reported a matter that involves money to the police before.

Openair:
Hello Op, it's sad what you've had to go through, and in all fairness, it's painful to be let down. I like that you're picking up and trying to sort yourself even after what has happened, that's commendable. Now, have a positive mindset, and often declare positive affirmations.
YOU'RE NOT CURSED. You're a lady going through a rough part, but all will be well.
The way you thought best to handle the pastor's disappointment is debatable, still, it's how you thought best to handle it. From your write up you didn't do it from a place of hate but of speaking out. That he responded with those words were wrong of him.
For me, you don't have to follow it up anymore. Yes, you were let down but from a heart of forgiveness, let it go, Jesus gat you.
Know that these times shall pass, keep on trying to sort yourself out. God is rooting for you. Study His word, speak positivity to yourself and in true forgiveness you don't have to push cases on. Cast all your cares on God. He's there for you.
YOU'RE A CHILD OF JESUS, YOU'RE LOVED, YOU'RE NOT CURSED.

voiceunheard:
Since I don't deserve it, he couldn't have made the promise in the first place. After all I never asked him for a dime.

Since he didn't fulfill his promise, the matter has gotten to the church headquarters, even if they haven't called me after collecting my number.

I pray you work in my shoes before 3 yrs time.

Openair:
Hello Op, it's sad what you've had to go through, and in all fairness, it's painful to be let down. I like that you're picking up and trying to sort yourself even after what has happened, that's commendable. Now, have a positive mindset, and often declare positive affirmations.
YOU'RE NOT CURSED. You're a lady going through a rough part, but all will be well.
The way you thought best to handle the pastor's disappointment is debatable, still, it's how you thought best to handle it. From your write up you didn't do it from a place of hate but of speaking out. That he responded with those words were wrong of him.
For me, you don't have to follow it up anymore. Yes, you were let down but from a heart of forgiveness, let it go, Jesus gat you.
Know that these times shall pass, keep on trying to sort yourself out. God is rooting for you. Study His word, speak positivity to yourself and in true forgiveness you don't have to push cases on. Cast all your cares on God. He's there for you.
YOU'RE A CHILD OF JESUS, YOU'RE LOVED, YOU'RE NOT CURSED.

SisterAnn:
You pray I work in your shoes..

I'm way past that level bhadie 😅🤣😂

SisterAnn:
Abeg shattap!

You have not really told us what transpired between both of you that made you so entitled, selfish, bitter and vindictive.

SisterAnn:
BS!!

If you truly co-owned the place and they threw you out, you will raise hell! Many loopholes in your story.

Go to TikTok and Instagram and tell this BS to them not here.

Here, we skin lairs alive.

martinskelly:
Hello op, was there any relationship (I mean cordial relationship) between you and the pastor before promising you what he promised you?

Because what i read in post is that the promise came exactly like the same day you guys met right?

But can i be honest with you op, I read your post and i picked few things; firstly, a promise is a declaration or assurance that one will do something or that a particular thing will happen (this means that a promise can fail when it is man that promised it).

Secondly, a promise can also be a contract which can be fulfilled depending on how the promisee (in this context you op are the promisee) is performing or has performed (meaning your altitude or character is measured during the contractual period as in how you behave towards the promisor)

Promisor (Pastor)= Investor
Promisee (OP)= Company.

Again, people wants to put money were interest is guaranteed (the pastor might also have ulterior motives just saying).

Remember, pastors are just humans, God cannot be human and pastors cannot be God.

I believe the pastor is not as bad as you have portrayed him.
When you blame people for failing on their promises, also check yourself because you also are not perfect and probably you could have done something maybe as bad as what the pastor did to you in the past. (Just an assumption)

Your intentions was to talk to the pastor concerning a place to live where you could be paying an estimated amount of money which is good but you chose the promise of a man you barely never really had any cordial relationship with over your initial plan.

My question is why do you shelve away your plans, why didn't you embark on your plans in the first place and keep the promise of the said pastor as plan B if all your efforts comes to fruition?

Also, remember your own parent especially your father that birthed you gave you restless life whilst living with them how much more a pastor as human as your father.

Op listen to this; from every angle be it spiritual or physical, there is a spirit of toxicity around you.
You couldn't have created it by the way, it erupted in you through your dad.

Kindly reflect on your past life and make amends.

voiceunheard:
Talking about the way I behave while waiting for him to fulfill his promise, we were in good terms till more than a month after he has made the promise. The day I went to his office (2 to 3 months after making the promise), although he wasn't around, the witness when he made the promise was there and was asking me if he still hasn't fulfilled his promise? The witness called him and gave me the phone, that was when he said "I stopped calling him".

Me taking his promise which I never request as plan B would have been me going to the police to report people who threw my belongings out (which he asked me not to report them and made the promise), adding the little money I had with me then, and borrowing money from my bank to rent the house.

Due to the high interest rate of bank loan, I decided to hold on on his promise. I also told him that if his promise won't work, I will borrow money from my bank. He kept assuring me that he will help me with the house issue.

Later I told him that I now have more than half of the money for my rent, that was when I called him on phone and made it clear to him that I am desperate to rent a house, and he told me "I shouldn't go into prostitution to get money to rent a house", as if I ever suggested anything like that. He promised to complete the money.

Later again, he started ignoring my calls and messages. At a time, I was left with almost nothing to rent a house. Later, I told him that it is already obvious that he doesn't want to fulfill his promise, he should keep his money, I am not longer interested since he was ignoring me completely. At the end, I have to borrow money to rent a house.

When I went to a church that I was told to forgive people who has offended me for my way to be open, the way they gave me the message (they were like "do I want people who has offended me to beg me before I will forgive?", if I like I should forgive and if I don't like I shouldn't forgive) give me the courage to report the pastor because I don't go to this extent, I may never be able to forgive him.

When he knows he doesn't have the money, why making such an expensive promise in the first place? Till now, he hasn't said the reason he didn't fulfill his promise.

You are saying that he is not as bad as I portray him, do you know the extent of the damage he has done? Where I was staying waiting (for several months) for him to fulfill his promise, do you know what I went through there? He caused me financial harm, delayed/deprived me from taking proper steps to get out of my situation. He also put me into debt, where I am living presently, I have told my landlord that I will be leaving there once my money expires. While waiting for him to fulfill his promise, where I was staying, they were putting me under pressure to leave the place because I had stayed there for too long, there was no time for me to look for a good house, and I ended up renting a house I don't like. Me leaving the house after my rent expires, I still have to pay another agreement and agent fees again to rent another house, all as a result of relying on his promise. His promise made me run into debt.

martinskelly:
The pastor promising you help shouldn't have stopped every other plans you had before meeting him okay.

Some people say you are entitled but i actually did not see it the way others are seeing it, what i see here is that you put so much premium trust on the title called "PASTOR" thinking he cannot fail you right!

You got it all wrong op, my take on still on this issue is that you could have gone with your initial plan and with that, all this your forth and back would have been long avoided.

If the church hqtr decides to meddle in the issue, it is still your statement against his promise even if there is a witness.

He can deny he promised you anything since it's not on any promissory note.

Everyone is going through a lot i mean a lot and yours is not new, if you hear other people's problems you would even give them your little house rent money.

Please sis, just ignore the pastor and focus on greater things that will move you life further (this is not about fear, it's about your mental stability because what you might hear at the end of the judgment between you and the pastor might shock you).