₦airaland Forum

As a Man, You can pay her bride price with blood, sweat… You can slave 12-hour days, six days a week working to provide for her, to fund the house bills, the kids' school fees and feeding, take care of her expenses, send money to her family back home….

You can literally stand in front of a truck to save her life, die for her without a second thought…

Regardless of that… She'd still raise her voice at you in your own house. Still roll her eyes when you open your mouth, as if your words are already beneath her notice.
Still talk back to you with that sharp, cutting tone she’d never dare use on her boss, her pastor, or the gym instructor who barks orders at her. Still dismiss your opinion mid-sentence, like it’s background noise, like you’re her annoying younger brother instead of the man who carries the roof over her head.

And worse…sometimes even straight-up punish you by locking her legs and denying you sex for days, weeks or months, just to prove a point.


Meanwhile, the same woman walks into her boss's office, softens her tone, nods quickly, says "Yes sir" without hesitation, stays late if asked, absorbs criticism from her Boss calmly.


The same woman sits in church, hangs on every word her pastor drops, kneels down for him to lay his hands on her, calls him "My Daddy in the Lord," never dares interrupt or question his authority.

The same woman shows up to the gym, lets the instructor bark orders, correct her by sexually touching her hips, ass, thighs, laps… and she obeys, sweats, smiles through the pain, says "Thank you sir" after.

Why?

Why does she highly respect her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors but disrespect you her husband/ loyal boyfriend?

Because her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors occupy frames of unapologetic dominance, consequence, and zero emotional neediness…

Her boss doesn't need her approval to exist. He doesn't plead for her respect. He demand it with consequences baked in: miss a deadline and the salary vanishes… He can fire her tomorrow. Demote her. His world doesn't collapse if she walks away angry. So he gives orders, expects compliance. She feels his dominance. That dominance triggers respect, and subconscious attraction in her.

Her pastor doesn’t need emotional support from her. No “honey, do you think I should bla bla bla?”. He doesn't need her approval… He stands on a pulpit and speaks with confidence, as if he and God just ate breakfast that morning.

Her gym instructor… Same thing. He pushes her limits, doesn't care if she likes him… he cares if she progresses. He punishes laziness with more reps, more pain. No negotiation. No "please babe, can you bla bla bla?" He literally just gives raw directive energy.

Lions roar and the pride moves. Sheep bleat and hope someone listens. Most husbands bleat. Most husbands are Sheeps.

Here's the bitter truth…

The moment you become her "husband," is the moment you lose the very polarity that made her wet for you in the first place.

Why?

Because society, church, media, aunties tell you "husband" means:

- Provider first, leader second (or never).

- Soften your masculinity to "keep peace."

- Avoid conflict at all costs ("happy wife, happy life".

- Seek her agreement before making any decisions.

- Apologize even when you're right.



This is how a husband becomes predictable, needy for her sex, her “yes.” You trade being a demanding lion for being her accommodating sheep… and then act surprised when the jungle laws still apply.

Remember, lions sit at the top of the food chain. So lions get the best food. That’s exactly why her pastor, her boss, and her gym instructor get her best behavior: submissive, eager-to-please version of her… the soft voice, the quick “Yes sir,” the bowed head, the extra effort…



Look, Men…

Women are wired (evolutionarily, psychologically, call it what you want) to feel a raw attraction toward men who demand… not beg, not negotiate, not explain themselves...

Demanding men create tension. Tension creates heat. Heat creates sexual attraction or submission.


Boss demands output… she delivers or loses income. That create tension and heat. So she works hard to please her Boss.


You: the husband or the loyal boyfriend , demand nothing real from her.
Or when you do, it sounds weak like this:
“Please don’t talk to me like that…”

No consequence. No grounded dominance.

So she frustrate you,. She pushes. She argues. She gives you attitude.

Not because she’s evil. Not because she’s a bad wife. But because something primal in her is whispering:
“Why does this man feel so weak?” or “Did I marry a man… or a boy who needs my approval to function?”

And every time you fold, over-explain, bribe with gifts, or avoid confrontation to “keep the peace,” you don’t create peace.
You confirm your own weakness.

And female attraction doesn’t attach to weakness. It slowly detaches from it. Then she starts cheating on you.

Be wise, brothers...

Stay blessed

Until schools like the Geh Geh is added as a credible institution of higher education and secondary schools adopt such syllabus for teaching young men during holidays, strong and dominant men will remain a mirage.

Husband and wife it involved equal right
But spiritual realms no equal right

It all comes down to what we call 'see finish' in Pidgin. In English, it’s over-familiarity, and that says it all.

She only sees those people for few minutes or hours in a day, so she's fascinated by the temporary fantasy and illusion of the game. All of those positions are positions of authority and women are submissive, forget it. It's who they choose to submit to that matters.

muyico:
Husband and wife it involved equal right
But spiritual realms no equal right

Read what you typed if it makes sense to you. There's no equality between a man and his wife. Erase that Western bs out of your mind. The spiritual controls the physical. Spiritual, cosmic, or higher-plane laws correspond to physical, earthly, or lower-plane realities. This means that everything is interconnected and balanced.

kiddaz:
Read what you typed if it makes sense to you. There's no equality between a man and his wife. Erase that Western bs out of your mind. The spiritual controls the physical. Spiritual, cosmic, or higher-plane laws correspond to physical, earthly, or lower-plane realities. This means that everything is interconnected and balanced.

normally all these equal rights bullcrap came from women and seasoned men know that you never take women’s opinion and apply them without thorough scrutiny of their intentions. They don’t know how to think plainly and come up with leadership-worthy decisions… in other words you don’t take women’s opinion seriously, you can say okay 👍 and go ahead with a logical solution just like you would do with children.

As a man you control your woman by not being afraid of trouble. You make her afraid of your trouble and not the other way round.

Pukkalolo:
As a Man, You can pay her bride price with blood, sweat… You can slave 12-hour days, six days a week working to provide for her, to fund the house bills, the kids' school fees and feeding, take care of her expenses, send money to her family back home….

You can literally stand in front of a truck to save her life, die for her without a second thought…

Regardless of that… She'd still raise her voice at you in your own house. Still roll her eyes when you open your mouth, as if your words are already beneath her notice.
Still talk back to you with that sharp, cutting tone she’d never dare use on her boss, her pastor, or the gym instructor who barks orders at her. Still dismiss your opinion mid-sentence, like it’s background noise, like you’re her annoying younger brother instead of the man who carries the roof over her head.

And worse…sometimes even straight-up punish you by locking her legs and denying you sex for days, weeks or months, just to prove a point.


Meanwhile, the same woman walks into her boss's office, softens her tone, nods quickly, says "Yes sir" without hesitation, stays late if asked, absorbs criticism from her Boss calmly.


The same woman sits in church, hangs on every word her pastor drops, kneels down for him to lay his hands on her, calls him "My Daddy in the Lord," never dares interrupt or question his authority.

The same woman shows up to the gym, lets the instructor bark orders, correct her by sexually touching her hips, ass, thighs, laps… and she obeys, sweats, smiles through the pain, says "Thank you sir" after.

Why?

Why does she highly respect her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors but disrespect you her husband/ loyal boyfriend?

Because her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors occupy frames of unapologetic dominance, consequence, and zero emotional neediness…

Her boss doesn't need her approval to exist. He doesn't plead for her respect. He demand it with consequences baked in: miss a deadline and the salary vanishes… He can fire her tomorrow. Demote her. His world doesn't collapse if she walks away angry. So he gives orders, expects compliance. She feels his dominance. That dominance triggers respect, and subconscious attraction in her.

Her pastor doesn’t need emotional support from her. No “honey, do you think I should bla bla bla?”. He doesn't need her approval… He stands on a pulpit and speaks with confidence, as if he and God just ate breakfast that morning.

Her gym instructor… Same thing. He pushes her limits, doesn't care if she likes him… he cares if she progresses. He punishes laziness with more reps, more pain. No negotiation. No "please babe, can you bla bla bla?" He literally just gives raw directive energy.

Lions roar and the pride moves. Sheep bleat and hope someone listens. Most husbands bleat. Most husbands are Sheeps.

Here's the bitter truth…

The moment you become her "husband," is the moment you lose the very polarity that made her wet for you in the first place.

Why?

Because society, church, media, aunties tell you "husband" means:

- Provider first, leader second (or never).

- Soften your masculinity to "keep peace."

- Avoid conflict at all costs ("happy wife, happy life".

- Seek her agreement before making any decisions.

- Apologize even when you're right.



This is how a husband becomes predictable, needy for her sex, her “yes.” You trade being a demanding lion for being her accommodating sheep… and then act surprised when the jungle laws still apply.

Remember, lions sit at the top of the food chain. So lions get the best food. That’s exactly why her pastor, her boss, and her gym instructor get her best behavior: submissive, eager-to-please version of her… the soft voice, the quick “Yes sir,” the bowed head, the extra effort…



Look, Men…

Women are wired (evolutionarily, psychologically, call it what you want) to feel a raw attraction toward men who demand… not beg, not negotiate, not explain themselves...

Demanding men create tension. Tension creates heat. Heat creates sexual attraction or submission.


Boss demands output… she delivers or loses income. That create tension and heat. So she works hard to please her Boss.


You: the husband or the loyal boyfriend , demand nothing real from her.
Or when you do, it sounds weak like this:
“Please don’t talk to me like that…”

No consequence. No grounded dominance.

So she frustrate you,. She pushes. She argues. She gives you attitude.

Not because she’s evil. Not because she’s a bad wife. But because something primal in her is whispering:
“Why does this man feel so weak?” or “Did I marry a man… or a boy who needs my approval to function?”

And every time you fold, over-explain, bribe with gifts, or avoid confrontation to “keep the peace,” you don’t create peace.
You confirm your own weakness.

And female attraction doesn’t attach to weakness. It slowly detaches from it. Then she starts cheating on you.

Be wise, brothers...

Stay blessed

All this writeup but you didn't make any point. What's your point again?

She wont attend the church again...she ll resign as well

From day 1, I stand my ground with them and have zero tolerance for even banters.

Automatic 🚩
Men should be discerning enough to know

It's simple,and it's called 'see finish"

Men should avoid saying and showing their women more than they need to know.

Very true with these GenZ people.

You won't understandNot enough original content
Please take a moment

drnoel:
All this writeup but you didn't make any point. What's your point again?

Afriifa:
As a man you control your woman by not being afraid of trouble. You make her afraid of your trouble and not the other way round.

.....at least, some swing in your moods means a lot. Just be frank and pretend like you don't know she is there will make her wanted to know "what's happening or have I done something?" We deserve a lot of respect from them at home though. But honestly, those gender can push one off the cliff if not well managed. 😁

Hmm... This is an interesting take.
Some exaggerations here and there tho, but quite salient points

Lol... Been married for ages, and I honestly can't relate with what Op is saying.

Not saying you are wrong, but I believe it's an individual thing.

Pukkalolo:
➜Look, Men…
Women are wired (evolutionarily, psychologically, call it what you want) to feel a raw attraction toward men who demand… not beg, not negotiate, not explain themselves...
Demanding men create tension. Tension creates heat. Heat creates sexual attraction or submission. Boss demands output… she delivers or loses income. That create tension and heat. So she works hard to please her Boss.
You: the husband or the loyal boyfriend , demand nothing real from her. Or when you do, it sounds weak like this: “Please don’t talk to me like that…” No consequence. No grounded dominance. So she frustrate you,. She pushes. She argues. She gives you attitude. Not because she’s evil. Not because she’s a bad wife. But because something primal in her is whispering: “Why does this man feel so weak?” or “Did I marry a man… or a boy who needs my approval to function?” And every time you fold, over-explain, bribe with gifts, or avoid confrontation to “keep the peace,” you don’t create peace.
You confirm your own weakness. And female attraction doesn’t attach to weakness. It slowly detaches from it. Then she starts cheating on you. Be wise, brothers... Stay blessed

With this mentality, una go continue to dey wonder why you never have peace in marriage from your wife and why your children will almost always choose their mother over you, their father when they are grown. They there dey deceive una selves with many of the same old brain damage.🥱🥱

Oyinbo talk say old dogs fit learn new tricks, but it seems recycling old brain damage na una lot for life. 🥱🥱🥱

This is really true with most women. I remember back then in Akwa ibom where a man sent his wife packing for calling him by his name(in an insulting manner) in front of her pastor and calling the pastor "big daddy". Na so 14yrs marriage take end o. The woman was so saucy but fears and obeys her pastor any day and any time.
No pastor should gain more respect from you than your husband.

Josywhyte:
This is really true with most women. I remember back then in Akwa ibom where a man sent his wife packing for calling him by his name(in an insulting manner) in front of her pastor and calling the pastor "big daddy". Na so 14yrs marriage take end o. The woman was so saucy but fears and obeys her pastor any day and any time.
No pastor should gain more respect from you than your husband.

He sent his wife of 14 years away for calling him by name. Hope his wife left him with his children, too. 🥱🥱🥱

Well written. You said it all

Kobojunkie:
He sent his wife of 14 years away for calling him by name. Hope his wife left him with his children, too. 🥱🥱🥱

He's doing well with his children and new wife. His ex-wife was very insultive and saucy. Lacked manners and questioned her husband's authority at ay given time. A woman who slapped her husband in church because he told her not to always disrespect her in public. Will you still stick with that kind of woman? Your guess is as good as mine. She's husbandless till today. Begging her ex to accept her back, but it's too late

She obeys tailor and photographer too

Josywhyte:
➜He's doing well with his children and new wife. His ex-wife was very insultive and saucy. Lacked manners and questioned her husband's authority at ay given time. A woman who slapped her husband in church because he told her not to always disrespect her in public. Will you still stick with that kind of woman? Your guess is as good as mine. She's husbandless till today. Begging her ex to accept her back, but it's too late

. I am glad he is doing well and decided to keep the kids. That way, the ex-wife can also have the freedom to work on herself and pursue her own life and dreams away from a marriage she was also probably not happy in. It is a win-win for both. 🥱🥱🥱

Pinicop:
She obeys tailor and photographer too

Most Nigerian men obey their pastors, their bosses, their tailors, and photographers as well. However, we are told those men ought also to expect their wives, with whom they share a bed, to obey them. Do the same men obey their wives, too? 🥱🥱🥱

It’s because of too much familiarity that causes abuse of privilege….
Sé o mò ni

Kobojunkie:
. I am glad he is doing well and decided to keep the kids. That way, the ex-wife can also have the freedom to work on herself and pursue her own life and dreams away from a marriage she was also probably not happy in. It is a win-win for both. 🥱🥱🥱

She's actually suffering now and regretting her actions. The said pastor she was boasting about is enjoying his marriage with his wife. She's helpless and hopeless presently. This is woman that never lacked anything but was full of disrespect and dishonour towards her husband. She's currently 46 but looks well older than her age. Her case was even used as a case study in the church to deter other women from doing such

It’s because of too much familiarity that causes abuse of privilege…

Sé o mò ni

Josywhyte:
➜She's actually suffering now and regretting her actions. The said pastor she was boasting about is enjoying his marriage with his wife. She's helpless and hopeless presently. This is woman that never lacked anything but was full of disrespect and dishonour towards her husband. She's currently 46 but looks well older than her age. Her case was even used as a case study in the church to deter other women from doing such

. Well, that is to be expected since 14 years in a marriage likely means she did not invest much in her own self-growth and person. The suffering and regret are part of growing pains. She will eventually pick herself up by her boots and begin working on herself. That is not a bad thing, but a good thing, something that studies have shown most women eventually get around to doing after they leave a marriage. She is lucky she does not have the burden of caring for her kids while going through it. 🥱🥱🥱