₦airaland Forum

I honestly wonder if you guys actually process the crap you type before regurgitating it.

Pastors are known to be very emotionally intelligent and know how to draw out the best in people. You would tell a pastor that you killed 50 people and he will tell you that it is 'well' and join you to go and beg the family. Have you actually engaged a pastor before?

GYM Instructors are paid to train you and everyone (men & women) follow their training because they are the experts. Yet, they can't force you to follow a routine or come to the gym. Even a doctor whose instructions have more fatal consequences haven't successfully gotten their patients to comply how much more gym Instructors.

Bosses: this damn crazy example again. Infact, bosses undergo multiple trainings year in year out on how to treat their team members. If you have ever worked in a standard organisation, you will know that your bosses do not have the right 'to sack people, withholding salary or request blind obedience'. You and your boss are both in an organization bound by policies and there are guard rails to checkmate them. And if your boss is still moving mad, you sack him aka resign. But again, you probably never worked in one that's why you don't get that.

Infact, if husbands treat their wives how their pastors, gym Instructors and bosses treat them, they will get the best out of their wives.

Infact, if husbands treat their wives how their pastors, gym Instructors and bosses treat them, they will get the best out of their wives

That's not possible because the family and household is not a workplace. If the husband should boss his wife, that marriage will not last. It takes an emotionally mature man to put up with her garbage and still call her my wife. The boss has a limit to which he can put up with her BS. Pastors, gym Instructors, work bosses are not interested in her menstrual cycle, ovulation, pregnancy, children, in-laws, mood swings etc. Tell boss you're pregnant and he's already thinking of Q2 report. Abeg. These people are only there for a few minutes and all of us put up appearances for those occasions. Your husband deals with the REAL YOU 24/7.

In summary, the woman will never be a good girl because that's not her natural character. You can't fake character. It lasts longer than perfume. Girl wey get sense knows her husband's role and if she has a family to protect, she knows the right thing to do. You lay your bed as you want to lie in it AT HOME, not the gym, not the office or the altar because those places are not built for rest.

Pukkalolo:
As a Man, You can pay her bride price with blood, sweat… You can slave 12-hour days, six days a week working to provide for her, to fund the house bills, the kids' school fees and feeding, take care of her expenses, send money to her family back home….

You can literally stand in front of a truck to save her life, die for her without a second thought…

Regardless of that… She'd still raise her voice at you in your own house. Still roll her eyes when you open your mouth, as if your words are already beneath her notice.
Still talk back to you with that sharp, cutting tone she’d never dare use on her boss, her pastor, or the gym instructor who barks orders at her. Still dismiss your opinion mid-sentence, like it’s background noise, like you’re her annoying younger brother instead of the man who carries the roof over her head.

And worse…sometimes even straight-up punish you by locking her legs and denying you sex for days, weeks or months, just to prove a point.


Meanwhile, the same woman walks into her boss's office, softens her tone, nods quickly, says "Yes sir" without hesitation, stays late if asked, absorbs criticism from her Boss calmly.


The same woman sits in church, hangs on every word her pastor drops, kneels down for him to lay his hands on her, calls him "My Daddy in the Lord," never dares interrupt or question his authority.

The same woman shows up to the gym, lets the instructor bark orders, correct her by sexually touching her hips, ass, thighs, laps… and she obeys, sweats, smiles through the pain, says "Thank you sir" after.

Why?

Why does she highly respect her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors but disrespect you her husband/ loyal boyfriend?

Because her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors occupy frames of unapologetic dominance, consequence, and zero emotional neediness…

Her boss doesn't need her approval to exist. He doesn't plead for her respect. He demand it with consequences baked in: miss a deadline and the salary vanishes… He can fire her tomorrow. Demote her. His world doesn't collapse if she walks away angry. So he gives orders, expects compliance. She feels his dominance. That dominance triggers respect, and subconscious attraction in her.

Her pastor doesn’t need emotional support from her. No “honey, do you think I should bla bla bla?”. He doesn't need her approval… He stands on a pulpit and speaks with confidence, as if he and God just ate breakfast that morning.

Her gym instructor… Same thing. He pushes her limits, doesn't care if she likes him… he cares if she progresses. He punishes laziness with more reps, more pain. No negotiation. No "please babe, can you bla bla bla?" He literally just gives raw directive energy.

Lions roar and the pride moves. Sheep bleat and hope someone listens. Most husbands bleat. Most husbands are Sheeps.

Here's the bitter truth…

The moment you become her "husband," is the moment you lose the very polarity that made her wet for you in the first place.

Why?

Because society, church, media, aunties tell you "husband" means:

- Provider first, leader second (or never).

- Soften your masculinity to "keep peace."

- Avoid conflict at all costs ("happy wife, happy life".

- Seek her agreement before making any decisions.

- Apologize even when you're right.



This is how a husband becomes predictable, needy for her sex, her “yes.” You trade being a demanding lion for being her accommodating sheep… and then act surprised when the jungle laws still apply.

Remember, lions sit at the top of the food chain. So lions get the best food. That’s exactly why her pastor, her boss, and her gym instructor get her best behavior: submissive, eager-to-please version of her… the soft voice, the quick “Yes sir,” the bowed head, the extra effort…



Look, Men…

Women are wired (evolutionarily, psychologically, call it what you want) to feel a raw attraction toward men who demand… not beg, not negotiate, not explain themselves...

Demanding men create tension. Tension creates heat. Heat creates sexual attraction or submission.


Boss demands output… she delivers or loses income. That create tension and heat. So she works hard to please her Boss.


You: the husband or the loyal boyfriend , demand nothing real from her.
Or when you do, it sounds weak like this:
“Please don’t talk to me like that…”

No consequence. No grounded dominance.

So she frustrate you,. She pushes. She argues. She gives you attitude.

Not because she’s evil. Not because she’s a bad wife. But because something primal in her is whispering:
“Why does this man feel so weak?” or “Did I marry a man… or a boy who needs my approval to function?”

And every time you fold, over-explain, bribe with gifts, or avoid confrontation to “keep the peace,” you don’t create peace.
You confirm your own weakness.

And female attraction doesn’t attach to weakness. It slowly detaches from it. Then she starts cheating on you.

Be wise, brothers...

Stay blessed

The dynamics of relationship between husbands and wives has changed. Gone are the days when wives were seen as subservient because all the economic power belonged to the husband. Gone are the days where house work and child rearing was an exclusive aspect of home life for the wives. Now economic and family care is shared in most cases. That shift in power dynamic means no one needs to be subservient instead you are now partners in achieving whatever goals you mutually agree on. In this type of dynamic there is no boss or pastor level leadership that is an order giver who must be obeyed.

Most of these church girls do these alot, they will disturb men for marriage but after the marriage they become demons? Respecting God of men and Gim instructors, while disrespecting there husbands? Very soon men will stop getting married, most of These church girls will learn

Kobojunkie:
Most Nigerian men obey their pastors, their bosses, their tailors, and photographers as well. However, we are told those men ought also to expect their wives, with whom they share a bed, to obey them. Do the same men obey their wives, too? 🥱🥱🥱

keep shut for once, always saying trash 🗑️

Familiarity is a factor, that's why once you sleep with her, she takes you as her mate

if she stays with the Pastor for one week or sleeps with her boss once, all those authority fades and she won't respect them again as before

It's a human nature

btw, being too soft on a woman doesn't pay. Be nice to her but create boundaries and be firm in your decisions!

Josywhyte:
She's actually suffering now and regretting her actions. The said pastor she was boasting about is enjoying his marriage with his wife. She's helpless and hopeless presently. This is woman that never lacked anything but was full of disrespect and dishonour towards her husband. She's currently 46 but looks well older than her age. Her case was even used as a case study in the church to deter other women from doing such

Lmao
Thats y i left a particular church
Anything that happens to any member that pastor is called to settle, you can be sure the pastor will use it to preach in a sunday sermon

Liverpoolfc:
The same boss, pastors even G.Os , and gym instructor face worse from their wives than you can imagine. Don't let one unmarried guy destroy your marriage with unrealistic write up. Manage your wife in the best way you can have peace for the sake of your children.

You said it all mate.
The real words of wisdom.
GOD bless you for this.

blacktolu:
The supposed spiritual head, boss or gym instructor sees the same at home because of over familiarity.

If you are afraid of over-familiarity, then don't dream of marriage or relationships with women at all. 🥱🥱

Lovit:
Familiarity is a factor, that's why once you sleep with her, she takes you as her mate. if she stays with the Pastor for one week or sleeps with her boss once, all those authority fades and she won't respect them again as before. It's a human nature
btw, being too soft on a woman doesn't pay. Be nice to her but create boundaries and be firm in your decisions!

...

nkemjacob2:
Avoid familiarity in relationship and marriage

... The solution is simple! Do not sleep with women at all— no marriage, no relationships with the gender —, then you will all remain strangers to them all — keep familiarity away from them. End of story! 🥱🥱🥱

Avoid familiarity in relationship and marriage

Liverpoolfc:
The same boss, pastors even G.Os , and gym instructor face worse from their wives than you can imagine. Don't let one unmarried guy destroy your marriage with unrealistic write up. Manage your wife in the best way you can have peace for the sake of your children.

You're speaking with full chest… on an empty brain.

I hope you don't learn the hard way. I hope so.

Wisdom is profitable to direct

Pukkalolo:
As a Man, You can pay her bride price with blood, sweat… You can slave 12-hour days, six days a week working to provide for her, to fund the house bills, the kids' school fees and feeding, take care of her expenses, send money to her family back home….

You can literally stand in front of a truck to save her life, die for her without a second thought…

Regardless of that… She'd still raise her voice at you in your own house. Still roll her eyes when you open your mouth, as if your words are already beneath her notice.
Still talk back to you with that sharp, cutting tone she’d never dare use on her boss, her pastor, or the gym instructor who barks orders at her. Still dismiss your opinion mid-sentence, like it’s background noise, like you’re her annoying younger brother instead of the man who carries the roof over her head.

And worse…sometimes even straight-up punish you by locking her legs and denying you sex for days, weeks or months, just to prove a point.


Meanwhile, the same woman walks into her boss's office, softens her tone, nods quickly, says "Yes sir" without hesitation, stays late if asked, absorbs criticism from her Boss calmly.


The same woman sits in church, hangs on every word her pastor drops, kneels down for him to lay his hands on her, calls him "My Daddy in the Lord," never dares interrupt or question his authority.

The same woman shows up to the gym, lets the instructor bark orders, correct her by sexually touching her hips, ass, thighs, laps… and she obeys, sweats, smiles through the pain, says "Thank you sir" after.

Why?

Why does she highly respect her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors but disrespect you her husband/ loyal boyfriend?

Because her Boss, Pastor and gym instructors occupy frames of unapologetic dominance, consequence, and zero emotional neediness…

Her boss doesn't need her approval to exist. He doesn't plead for her respect. He demand it with consequences baked in: miss a deadline and the salary vanishes… He can fire her tomorrow. Demote her. His world doesn't collapse if she walks away angry. So he gives orders, expects compliance. She feels his dominance. That dominance triggers respect, and subconscious attraction in her.

Her pastor doesn’t need emotional support from her. No “honey, do you think I should bla bla bla?”. He doesn't need her approval… He stands on a pulpit and speaks with confidence, as if he and God just ate breakfast that morning.

Her gym instructor… Same thing. He pushes her limits, doesn't care if she likes him… he cares if she progresses. He punishes laziness with more reps, more pain. No negotiation. No "please babe, can you bla bla bla?" He literally just gives raw directive energy.

Lions roar and the pride moves. Sheep bleat and hope someone listens. Most husbands bleat. Most husbands are Sheeps.

Here's the bitter truth…

The moment you become her "husband," is the moment you lose the very polarity that made her wet for you in the first place.

Why?

Because society, church, media, aunties tell you "husband" means:

- Provider first, leader second (or never).

- Soften your masculinity to "keep peace."

- Avoid conflict at all costs ("happy wife, happy life".

- Seek her agreement before making any decisions.

- Apologize even when you're right.



This is how a husband becomes predictable, needy for her sex, her “yes.” You trade being a demanding lion for being her accommodating sheep… and then act surprised when the jungle laws still apply.

Remember, lions sit at the top of the food chain. So lions get the best food. That’s exactly why her pastor, her boss, and her gym instructor get her best behavior: submissive, eager-to-please version of her… the soft voice, the quick “Yes sir,” the bowed head, the extra effort…



Look, Men…

Women are wired (evolutionarily, psychologically, call it what you want) to feel a raw attraction toward men who demand… not beg, not negotiate, not explain themselves...

Demanding men create tension. Tension creates heat. Heat creates sexual attraction or submission.


Boss demands output… she delivers or loses income. That create tension and heat. So she works hard to please her Boss.


You: the husband or the loyal boyfriend , demand nothing real from her.
Or when you do, it sounds weak like this:
“Please don’t talk to me like that…”

No consequence. No grounded dominance.

So she frustrate you,. She pushes. She argues. She gives you attitude.

Not because she’s evil. Not because she’s a bad wife. But because something primal in her is whispering:
“Why does this man feel so weak?” or “Did I marry a man… or a boy who needs my approval to function?”

And every time you fold, over-explain, bribe with gifts, or avoid confrontation to “keep the peace,” you don’t create peace.
You confirm your own weakness.

And female attraction doesn’t attach to weakness. It slowly detaches from it. Then she starts cheating on you.

Be wise, brothers...

Stay blessed

Ishilove:
Trash. When e reach your turn roar like lion. You think marriage is about all this nonsense you are writing? Go to married men who have been happily married for decades to learn what makes a marriage work, not from internet bros who have mummy and daddy issues.

Shior. You have a lot of growing up to do.

"Roar like lion when e reach your turn" is the excuse men tell themselves after 15 years of swallowing disrespect and wondering why their wife looks at them like a roommate.

mirrael68:
So my dear writer, do you think you know more than our creator who gave the rules for marriage in Ephesians chapter 5?
Where He commanded a husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her? For wives to respect their husbands, for the two to submit to one another? Etc, Or have you read Christian love as expounded in 1 Corinthians. Chapter 13:4-7?
All you have written is a worldly opinion in error. It can never engender a happy home.
Submit to what's in the Bible if you are a Christian and see the Lord's power give you a stable home.
Thank you.

My post isn’t worldly error...

It’s calling out the husbands who twist “love your wife” into “tolerate anything she throws at you so she stays happy.”

That’s not Christ-like leadership; that’s people-pleasing cowardice.

CorperKola:
Lmao
Thats y i left a particular church
Anything that happens to any member that pastor is called to settle, you can be sure the pastor will use it to preach in a sunday sermon

Most pastors are like that. That's why I hardly tell my problems to them make I no go become topic for Sunday sermon