₦airaland Forum

I’m at a crossroads and I think at this point I wonder what is the point of marriage if this is how it works..
I was busy working to provide for my family ,only to get a long message from my woman stating she left with my child and not only that ,she left with few of my expensive household items , like tv ,speakers , fans and co ..
She held down to her words that for the two years she came into my life ,she was not happy emotionally,that during pregnancy I didn’t spend enough with her ,that I’m always in the sitting room and leaving her all to herself..

Sometimes I wonder what women really wants ..during her pregnancy ,she never worked nor stressed ,she was well taken care of ,ate to her fill ,never worked ,just sleep and take care of my unborn child’s ..My factor of not spending much time on her was due to the fact I was trying to understand the situation at hand and transitioning from living alone, handling things to my capacity to having a wife and incoming child to feed was a lots of task to be prepared for , so I needed a space from her sometimes not to think of the hasty decision I just put myself into ..

A year later and the child is one year plus ,responsibilities mounting and bills ,coupled with the facts I just got a quit notice to leave the apartment have stayed over 6 years at, I requested she let the child live my parents why we go out there to work and provide,also raise money for another place and Lagos rental price is off the roof ..But she was adamant and felt like I was trying to take the child from her and so I insisted she take the child to her parents and give me sometime to raise money for a new place .. she flared up and got angry and said she wouldn’t do that I should immediately rent a place and shop for her ,not minding the stress I’m going through ..

We have had verbal abuses between each other and few confrontations but never led to physical abuse .She said I was being influenced by my family to push her away , that they don’t like her and which is not true ..
I insisted she needs to learn a proper skill or go back to school or get a good job for the time being , but all she cares is me opening a business for her..I found myself looking at someone who depends solely on what a man provides for her and not trying to do something herself for the time being .. The pressure is much and I still have a child to take care of too ..She took my properties and ran away with my child and I was heart broken by such move ..

Now it’s open to both families the decision she took and my parents are angry saying I won’t settle for such a woman and her parents aren’t helping much except her father who calls her out for her wrongful actions ..

At this point I’m thinking of letting go of what we had together and just take care of my child and her wellbeing ,first by renting a place for her and taking care of her needs ..

We have both had a long conversation thinking what went wrong ,she said my lack of emotional presence and not spending enough time with her made her felt like she was single and I was telling her words and those words hurt her and that I’m being influenced by my family which is not true ..

I want to get back my properties and call off my ties with her cause we really started on a wrong note , we didn’t plan well and didn’t see things properly and what we have to offer ourselves individually as a couple rather than a one man game stressing himself out there, trying to do everything himself..Have made wrong choices and this not how I intended my family life to be like and I will make good corrections henceforth..

Where are the elders ooo?
This case is specially for you. I rest my case

Taking a sitting on the fence to read comments.







Prey prying on the sole provider.


I bet you the next place you would see her is on tiktok setting up ringlight,shaking her ikebe displaying your properties blasting music.




Pele sir.

No crossroad bros, except you don't love her anymore. Postpartum/ Emotions dey worry her.
Let her be for now,Take care of yourself, get a roof on your head, when the bill for taking care of the child start coming in na she go run come back to you.

You ma why weren't you giving her all the emotional support she needed while pregnant ehn? Infact let's hear her own side of the story before we judge.

Maybe we should hear her own side of the story

Kpele...Since she is the one that left by herself...fret not...forget the stuff she took,you will by better ones.
It's obvious she doesn't love you/your situation.
Focus completely on how to raise funds,cater for their well-being as you mentioned earlier.
Bare in mind she might jump to another person so you need to figure out what happens to your kid.
Take heart,you'll eventually find someone that's the right fit.

Next time,prepare yourself before thinking of marriage. Marriage without money is killing and can mess up ur life.

I wonder what u guys were discussing when u were courting and knacking in and out.

Let me even ask u,did u marry that lady properly ?because u don't seems to know what she was telling u about.
U were emotionally absent while she was heavily pregnant and here u are making it look as if all women are evil.

Oga,na u dey bring out the evil in her. Women want good life for them and their partners.

A woman who is pregnant needs ur presence and care...na woman she be.

Next time think about making the money,get financially stable and then marry a financially sensible woman.

Bye.

capetownboyz:
➜... I insisted she needs to learn a proper skill or go back to school or get a good job for the time being , but all she cares is me opening a business for her
➜ ..I found myself looking at someone who depends solely on what a man provides for her and not trying to do something herself for the time being
➜ .. The pressure is much and I still have a child to take care of too ..She took my properties and ran away with my child and I was heart broken by such move ..
➜ Now it’s open to both families the decision she took and my parents are angry saying I won’t settle for such a woman and her parents aren’t helping much except her father who calls her out for her wrongful actions ..
➜ At this point I’m thinking of letting go of what we had together and just take care of my child and her wellbeing ,first by renting a place for her and taking care of her needs .. We have both had a long conversation thinking what went wrong, she said my lack of emotional presence and not spending enough time with her made her felt like she was single and I was telling her words and those words hurt her and that I’m being influenced by my family which is not true ..
➜ I want to get back my properties and call off my ties with her cause we really started on a wrong note , we didn’t plan well and didn’t see things properly and what we have to offer ourselves individually as a couple rather than a one man game stressing himself out there, trying to do everything himself..Have made wrong choices and this not how I intended my family life to be like and I will make good corrections henceforth..

1. You went out of your way to find a woman who had no skills and education at all to date, only to then try to force her to get all those things after you had literally pinned her down with a child? Why? Why would you do that to yourself or think it made sense for you to do?🥱

2. You literally presented yourself to her as someone who would provide for her(you knew she had no skills or job-worthy education before you chose to date, and then impregnate her), only to then change your mind after she married you. Why would you do that to yourself, though? 🥱🥱🥱

3. You can get the police involved since you feel she unjustly took your property. 🥱🥱

4. Her parents and your parents should have nothing to do with this since this was a marriage between two grown human beings(unless we are talking here of an underage girl whom you may have impregnated). 😐😐

5. You say that like you have some other option. Someone stated that it could be post-partum depression related, but even then, I suggest you not do any gragra here and accept things as they are, at least for now. I mean, you did say she told you she was unhappy all the time she was with you? What more does she need to say for you to know that letting go and taking care of matters concerning the child you have with her is what is left for you to do at this point? 🥱🥱

6. I would not recommend you go there by yourself. I suggest you both get lawyers involved at this point since you have both decided to call it quits. 🥱🥱

Op
Which job are you doing in this age and time that you settled for her to be a fulltime housewife

Caaz:
Taking a sitting on the fence to read comments.







Prey prying on the sole provider.


I bet you the next place you would see her is on tiktok setting up ringlight,shaking her ikebe displaying your properties blasting music.




Pele sir.

If you are a married woman with kids like I supposed, then this response from you is unfortunate.

It's very unfortunate this is what you can come up when you don't even know the full story or dynamics of their relationship.

Looks to me like you are pandering to the uzelezz boys here for acceptance and so you needed to sound like them to gain approval.

The lady felt very unloved, the Op also explained it was not intentional because he was also trying to get a grip of his new found role as a dad and husband.

The lady according to the Op felt his family was influencing his actions and you think that's to be wished away even though the Op denied it.

The Op wants her to learn a skill or go back to school but she decides it's best for her to buy and sell and you didn't think that was a thing.

A frustrated woman decided to leave her partner without informing him and even took most of the household items with her thereby tainting her own image in her frustration and desperation and you all you could come up with is to suggest she'd soon be sighted on TikTok shaking bumbum?

Seriously?

You could be a TikTok bum shaker yourself, otherwise I don't see how this was the only thing that came to your mind.

You must be hopel essly GenZ.
Even though I know not all GenZs are manne rless, many are still very thoughtful.

No offense please, but you are a dis appoint ment.

capetownboyz:
I’m at a crossroads and I think at this point I wonder what is the point of marriage if this is how it works..
I was busy working to provide for my family ,only to get a long message from my woman stating she left with my child and not only that ,she left with few of my expensive household items , like tv ,speakers , fans and co ..
She held down to her words that for the two years she came into my life ,she was not happy emotionally,that during pregnancy I didn’t spend enough with her ,that I’m always in the sitting room and leaving her all to herself..

Sometimes I wonder what women really wants ..during her pregnancy ,she never worked nor stressed ,she was well taken care of ,ate to her fill ,never worked ,just sleep and take care of my unborn child’s ..My factor of not spending much time on her was due to the fact I was trying to understand the situation at hand and transitioning from living alone, handling things to my capacity to having a wife and incoming child to feed was a lots of task to be prepared for , so I needed a space from her sometimes not to think of the hasty decision I just put myself into ..

A year later and the child is one year plus ,responsibilities mounting and bills ,coupled with the facts I just got a quit notice to leave the apartment have stayed over 6 years at, I requested she let the child live my parents why we go out there to work and provide,also raise money for another place and Lagos rental price is off the roof ..But she was adamant and felt like I was trying to take the child from her and so I insisted she take the child to her parents and give me sometime to raise money for a new place .. she flared up and got angry and said she wouldn’t do that I should immediately rent a place and shop for her ,not minding the stress I’m going through ..

We have had verbal abuses between each other and few confrontations but never led to physical abuse .She said I was being influenced by my family to push her away , that they don’t like her and which is not true ..
I insisted she needs to learn a proper skill or go back to school or get a good job for the time being , but all she cares is me opening a business for her..I found myself looking at someone who depends solely on what a man provides for her and not trying to do something herself for the time being .. The pressure is much and I still have a child to take care of too ..She took my properties and ran away with my child and I was heart broken by such move ..

Now it’s open to both families the decision she took and my parents are angry saying I won’t settle for such a woman and her parents aren’t helping much except her father who calls her out for her wrongful actions ..

At this point I’m thinking of letting go of what we had together and just take care of my child and her wellbeing ,first by renting a place for her and taking care of her needs ..

We have both had a long conversation thinking what went wrong ,she said my lack of emotional presence and not spending enough time with her made her felt like she was single and I was telling her words and those words hurt her and that I’m being influenced by my family which is not true ..

I want to get back my properties and call off my ties with her cause we really started on a wrong note , we didn’t plan well and didn’t see things properly and what we have to offer ourselves individually as a couple rather than a one man game stressing himself out there, trying to do everything himself..Have made wrong choices and this not how I intended my family life to be like and I will make good corrections henceforth..

Getting accommodation for her, may add to more financial burden to you

Just leave the child with her as am sure she is with her parents

If you can retrieve those your items, retrieve them and start planning how to find your bearings

If you can't retrieve them, then move on with your life

Its too early for you to be facing issues that older people are not even facing in marriage

In this life, you can't satisfy anyone

Even if you lay down for them to pass, they will still complain that you didn't lay flat enough for them to walk through

So your parents are asking you to walk out of a one year old marriage, instead of teaching you to make your marriage work? Why didn't your parents ask why you didn't plan well financially before fathering a child? When you leave this woman and marry another, when issues come up again, same parents will also ask that you leave the second marriage? Children should be careful of the advise they take.

capetownboyz:
I’m at a crossroads and I think at this point I wonder what is the point of marriage if this is how it works..
I was busy working to provide for my family ,only to get a long message from my woman stating she left with my child and not only that ,she left with few of my expensive household items , like tv ,speakers , fans and co ..
She held down to her words that for the two years she came into my life ,she was not happy emotionally,that during pregnancy I didn’t spend enough with her ,that I’m always in the sitting room and leaving her all to herself..

Sometimes I wonder what women really wants ..during her pregnancy ,she never worked nor stressed ,she was well taken care of ,ate to her fill ,never worked ,just sleep and take care of my unborn child’s ..My factor of not spending much time on her was due to the fact I was trying to understand the situation at hand and transitioning from living alone, handling things to my capacity to having a wife and incoming child to feed was a lots of task to be prepared for , so I needed a space from her sometimes not to think of the hasty decision I just put myself into ..

A year later and the child is one year plus ,responsibilities mounting and bills ,coupled with the facts I just got a quit notice to leave the apartment have stayed over 6 years at, I requested she let the child live my parents why we go out there to work and provide,also raise money for another place and Lagos rental price is off the roof ..But she was adamant and felt like I was trying to take the child from her and so I insisted she take the child to her parents and give me sometime to raise money for a new place .. she flared up and got angry and said she wouldn’t do that I should immediately rent a place and shop for her ,not minding the stress I’m going through ..

We have had verbal abuses between each other and few confrontations but never led to physical abuse .She said I was being influenced by my family to push her away , that they don’t like her and which is not true ..
I insisted she needs to learn a proper skill or go back to school or get a good job for the time being , but all she cares is me opening a business for her..I found myself looking at someone who depends solely on what a man provides for her and not trying to do something herself for the time being .. The pressure is much and I still have a child to take care of too ..She took my properties and ran away with my child and I was heart broken by such move ..

Now it’s open to both families the decision she took and my parents are angry saying I won’t settle for such a woman and her parents aren’t helping much except her father who calls her out for her wrongful actions ..

At this point I’m thinking of letting go of what we had together and just take care of my child and her wellbeing ,first by renting a place for her and taking care of her needs ..

We have both had a long conversation thinking what went wrong ,she said my lack of emotional presence and not spending enough time with her made her felt like she was single and I was telling her words and those words hurt her and that I’m being influenced by my family which is not true ..

I want to get back my properties and call off my ties with her cause we really started on a wrong note , we didn’t plan well and didn’t see things properly and what we have to offer ourselves individually as a couple rather than a one man game stressing himself out there, trying to do everything himself..Have made wrong choices and this not how I intended my family life to be like and I will make good corrections henceforth..

When you say you didn't plan well, what does that mean? What you need is to find ways to understand one another so as to ensure you both can make the best of your union. You need make her understand the need to speak up before things get escalated to this point. She knows herself better and how she wants to be loved. You need also stress you will try; however, you may not be able to love her 100% as she wants to be loved. Also voice out how you will want to be loved.

During this separation time, you both need discuss your finances and financial expectations along other expectations you both want to have in your marriage.

Just continue the marriage. arrange yourself and both find level ground...

Kindly carry your cross and no push her come outside come meet us single guys...

Married people should stay married.

Too many broken homes and baby mama's , baby papa's ... no add your own.