₦airaland Forum

I was talking to a friend recently and she opened up about something that shocked me.

She said her husband had changed… less attention, less affection, always on his phone.

At first, she thought it was just stress. But over time, the distance became obvious.

What struck me was this — nothing “big” had happened.
No fight. No major issue.
Just slow emotional and physical disconnection.

It made me realize something…
Most marriages don’t break suddenly — they fade quietly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, especially how attraction and effort change after marriage.

For those who are married — what do you think causes this?

Most ladies stop taking care of how they look after marriage.
Most especially after their first child.
We men like things the way they look when we first bought it.
You gerit

what if there was no real connection before the "UNION".

No shared humour, no common relatable memories, no shared interests, nothing to make one person miss the other. When you marry JUST for convenience and status change, it is only a matter of time before it becomes an ENDURANCE TRECK & the facade starts to fade. Even if you are the most beautiful woman in the world, you become boring & uninteresting.

insidelife22:
Most ladies stop taking care of how they look after marriage.
Most especially after their first child.
We men like things the way they look when we first bought it.
You gerit

That a lie who is we men limit it to yurself
you that still dey live with yur parents
Sure u not married except GF stuff
A lot of things can cause gradual dis connecting in marriage
Lack of sex
Lack of counication
Lack of accountability
Beening disrespectful etc
But note is hardly because of looks and body size

neonly:
That a lie who is we men limit it to yurself
you that still dey live with yur parents
Sure u not married except GF stuff
A lot of things can cause gradual dis connecting in marriage
Lack of sex
Lack of counication
Lack of accountability
Beening disrespectful etc
But note is hardly because of looks and body size

Point of correction
Am not living with my parents
The last time I ate mama thank you was in 2010
Mumuman

You heard from your friend, how about from the man?

She probably discovered something about her ,that she didn't tell him before marriage. She might have also used pregnancy to hook him.. She might just be giving repulsive vibe.

But let her talk to her husband. Apologize even if she thinks she did nothing wrong. Encourage him if it's Nigeria and Tinubu that is making the man depressed

Nnakatsan:
I was talking to a friend recently and she opened up about something that shocked me.

She said her husband had changed… less attention, less affection, always on his phone.

At first, she thought it was just stress. But over time, the distance became obvious.

What struck me was this — nothing “big” had happened.
No fight. No major issue.
Just slow emotional and physical disconnection.

It made me realize something…
Most marriages don’t break suddenly — they fade quietly.



I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, especially how attraction and effort change after marriage.

For those who are married — what do you think causes this?

You don't need to be married to know this:

Constant disapproval, dismissal, denials, disrespect and when our efforts are underappreciated or not appreciated at all, When we keep giving and she keeps on receives without giving anything back etc, these things gradually pushes us away as men and there's hardly anything women can do about it when that line is being crossed over and over. We adjust, adapt and accept the new norms without fighting or trying to make it work when the women are nonchalant and hell bent on having their way.

Lol it's mostly "nothing big" but those constant small drops of errors without true repentance that creates the vacuum, and when a man is gone he's gone for good even if he's physically present in the same house or even sharing same bed. Then he would care less what you do and who you even do it with. You become dead to him no matter your prayers on Shiloh mountains or God seeking you do it will never work again cos even God will be on aware with all the proofs of how you stripped him off his manhood and leadership position.

Tell your friend to carry her cross gallantly or wait for k0b0 jun-kie to come and tell you the usual feminist version most females love to hear that further pushes them outside to where the grass in VERY GREEN

Nnakatsan:
I was talking to a friend recently and she opened up about something that shocked me.

She said her husband had changed… less attention, less affection, always on his phone.

At first, she thought it was just stress. But over time, the distance became obvious.

What struck me was this — nothing “big” had happened.
No fight. No major issue.
Just slow emotional and physical disconnection.

It made me realize something…
Most marriages don’t break suddenly — they fade quietly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, especially how attraction and effort change after marriage.

For those who are married — what do you think causes this?

The Answer is plenty
But Fess Fess

Every Man wants Peace of Mind, Inner Joy and Respect

Nnakatsan:
I was talking to a friend recently and she opened up about something that shocked me.

She said her husband had changed… less attention, less affection, always on his phone.

At first, she thought it was just stress. But over time, the distance became obvious.

What struck me was this — nothing “big” had happened.
No fight. No major issue.
Just slow emotional and physical disconnection.

It made me realize something…
Most marriages don’t break suddenly — they fade quietly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, especially how attraction and effort change after marriage.

For those who are married — what do you think causes this?

Over familiarity and over availability cause it.
Along the line, people become too used to each other and the spark just fizzles out.Its natural.
The partner that doesn't realise this on time and begins to detach suffers it .

If the woman had started paying more attention to herself and children, the husband will be the one to suffer it.

In marriage, there must be a victim.
In everything you do, don't be the victim.

insidelife22:
Point of correction
Am not living with my parents
The last time I ate mama thank you was in 2010
Mumuman

Am vindicated BOY

neonly:
Am vindicated BOY

How are you vindicated??

Some people don't know how heavy the pressure that title "man" and the duties that come with that title can be on some men. We get back home sometimes tired and all we want to do is just freshen up, stay in one place while pressing our phones. Not because we are disconnected or don't love our wives any more, but that is how some of us deal with stress and tiredness.

Unfortunately most ladies because of fantasies of life don't realise this till it becomes too late.
Later when they realise it, they will start giving excuses that they were naive then.

If your friend can not take care of her family, let the man go and make another family elsewhere.
Cus this post is like something that all y'all will end up bashing the man.
Na your friend you hear from, what about the man?

Men priorities are security, respect, food and peace of mind. Ask your friend if she value these things.

Constantly denying a man sex is one of the things that makes the man withdraw slowly.

If a married woman discovers her man distancing, she should treat him to steamy sexual desires and intercourse... Men are like little kids, a little candy and you see big wild smile 😄

She definitely has neglected a lot and to say she's just realising this is insane. The distance didn't just grow overnight. Lack of real communication, lack of intimacy and selfishness often cause this. Nowadays most men have learnt to keep quiet. Just for peace sake.

kiddaz:
You don't need to be married to know this:

Constant disapproval, dismissal, denials, disrespect and when our efforts are underappreciated or not appreciated at all, When we keep giving and she keeps on receives without giving anything back etc, these things gradually pushes us away as men and there's hardly anything women can do about it when that line is being crossed over and over. We adjust, adapt and accept the new norms without fighting or trying to make it work when the women are nonchalant and hell bent on having their way.

Lol it's mostly "nothing big" but those constant small drops of errors without true repentance that creates the vacuum, and when a man is gone he's gone for good even if he's physically present in the same house or even sharing same bed. Then he would care less what you do and who you even do it with. You become dead to him no matter your prayers on Shiloh mountains or God seeking you do it will never work again cos even God will be on aware with all the proofs of how you stripped him off his manhood and leadership position.

Tell your friend to carry her cross gallantly or wait for k0b0 jun-kie to come and tell you the usual feminist version most females love to hear that further pushes them outside to where the grass in VERY GREEN

You've said everything to be said.

WantsandMore:
If a married woman discovers her man distancing, she should treat him to steamy sexual desires and intercourse... Men are like little kids, a little candy and you see big wild smile 😄

If there's already a disconnect it won't work out. At best it will be mechanical sex. That's where a lot of women fail. You think because we get erections for you it means we're in love? Lol you don't know man. We fit wipe our enemy just to release and no feelings whatsoever attached

Nnakatsan:
I was talking to a friend recently and she opened up about something that shocked me.

She said her husband had changed… less attention, less affection, always on his phone.

At first, she thought it was just stress. But over time, the distance became obvious.

What struck me was this — nothing “big” had happened.
No fight. No major issue.
Just slow emotional and physical disconnection.

It made me realize something…
Most marriages don’t break suddenly — they fade quietly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, especially how attraction and effort change after marriage.

For those who are married — what do you think causes this?

It's always secrets... I can bet you on that. Financial secrets, love secrets, work secrets, ex secrets, her past secrets or even family secrets, character secrets and worst of all, lies she had told in the past and forcing him to believe.

OP i know it's you affected and not your friend.

OP if you like keep flirting.
The major thing that will make a man react that way for a long time is you being attracted to other men, more than him.

Stop those your unnecessary external affairs with other men or probably your too much attraction to your biological/sibling/father's family

Nnakatsan:
I was talking to a friend recently and she opened up about something that shocked me.

She said her husband had changed… less attention, less affection, always on his phone.

At first, she thought it was just stress. But over time, the distance became obvious.

What struck me was this — nothing “big” had happened.
No fight. No major issue.
Just slow emotional and physical disconnection.

It made me realize something…
Most marriages don’t break suddenly — they fade quietly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, especially how attraction and effort change after marriage.

For those who are married — what do you think causes this?

Many reasons but we won't know.
We can only hazard a few guesses.
Isnt it better she sits down with him and discuss challenges he is going through and see how they can resolve it.

Financial pressures can push a man who doesn't want to trouble the wife to withdraw. Denial of sex can. Discovery of an unpleasant secret or info about the wife can. What was their relationship like during courtship? She can just ask what changed first and then take it up from there.

Marriages of a few years old are always challenging. From 10 years upwards, they would have weathered some issues and then push ahead with experience.

Nnakatsan:
I was talking to a friend recently and she opened up about something that shocked me.
She said her husband had changed… less attention, less affection, always on his phone.
At first, she thought it was just stress. But over time, the distance became obvious.
What struck me was this — nothing “big” had happened.
No fight. No major issue.
Just slow emotional and physical disconnection.
It made me realize something…
Most marriages don’t break suddenly — they fade quietly.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, especially how attraction and effort change after marriage.
For those who are married — what do you think causes this?

The long and short of this is that people change; yes, even the one you ate married to can change/lose interest for one reason or another, and in many cases,from no direct fault of yours. And it typically happens without announcement, like in your friends case. The mature thing is knowing and accepting this fact of life early so as to have always hAhs a back up plan in place. 🥱🥱

Hmmmm🤔🤔🤔🤔

neonly:
That a lie who is we men limit it to yurself
you that still dey live with yur parents
Sure u not married except GF stuff
A lot of things can cause gradual dis connecting in marriage
Lack of sex
Lack of counication
Lack of accountability
Beening disrespectful etc
But note is hardly because of looks and body size

insidelife22:
Most ladies stop taking care of how they look after marriage.
Most especially after their first child.
We men like things the way they look when we first bought it.
You gerit

Neither do most men remain same way they were. Some develope pot bellies and thick waist lines. Even their hygiene is nothing to write home about. Some can't even cleanup after themelves. They depend solely on their wives for their personal hygiene You do not see their wives complaining about all that. Most don't even wash their undies again except their wives picks it up.

You guys think cleanliness doesn't turn women on!