₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
What is the guarantee of this claim of yours?

2. Children living with a father who uses incompetence as a weapon against their own mother would not be affected. Yikes!

3. Telling OP to think of herself first in the relationship is feminist but advising a woman to continue to carry the burden that is a husband who does not seem to appreciate her is a better option. WOW!

4. It is not rosy out there hence OP should continue to suffer depression and anxiety inside of marriage rather than seek help outside of marriage. WOW!!

Insectkiller:
✓ No matter what..try to sit ur husband down and discuss...
Don't leave ur husband alone (one advice)
If you leave ur husband, u will never get a steady pr*ick again..and you are growing older daily...you need companion..
Just sit him down and see how you both can understand each other..
Marriage is good..don't mind those people giving you wrong advice..
In all ur explanations, u didn't say ur husband beats or physically assault you...that means he is teachable based on how you want him to be...
Whenever you want him to speak and stand as a man..talk to him... borrow him idea..
With time he will get use to his manly responsibility..
Don't leave your husband except you want to be exchanging di*ck pr*ick for the rest of your life.

GUNITGuy:
✓ Most of the things she's complaining of are what can be sorted ....
✓ As long as her life isn't threatened she should pray ✓ and Endure for tr the sake of her children... Life after divorce is not the same

Kobojunkie:
I did no such thing as you claim since I instead explained that Life isn't to blame for your chosen perception of it. That you have chosen to place your ego before reason does not mean that Life is influenced by your ego.

If you want to learn how to control or stop thoughts — barring the existence of any mental illness, that is— then I suggest you study the life of Buddhist monks. They are humans like you.

Kobojunkie:
How do you convert a man who has, after many years of marriage, not realized he needs to contribute, to a househusband? You wan make them end up like the policeman and his wife story wey we read yesterday for crime section?

Kobojunkie:
Have you never been around Nigerians before? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Kobojunkie:
1. If you can't even learn from the many experiences of others documented in those million books, doesn't that invariably mean you are a fool to be kicked and tossed around when life hits?

2. Blindly judge, you say! So, I need first to hear the other side of the story before considering OP's cry for help. OP is shouting that her mind is about to reach its limit with what she has been living with up until now. But somehow you think that rather than immediately suggest she drop everything and care for herself, first listening to someone other parties will be best? Are you people OK at all?

3. That hogwash you spewed earlier is another reality to everything OP has said so far about her mental condition and marriage. Are you OK at all?

4. So, in your mind, because this woman might not be the only one experiencing emotional trauma of this level in the relationship, therefore it is necessary to ignore her cry for help? Are you people OK in the head at all?

5. What is the point of being a decade in it if it might eventually end with you both killing each other like the story of the policeman and his wife that was featured on Nairaland yesterday? Don't you see how very foolish it is of you to pretend it is OK to endure what amounts to continuous emotional trauma at this point in time? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Like I said on the thread about the policemen and his wife who eventually killed each other, if this woman wakes up tomorrow and murders his wife, your kind will come marching in to ask her why she didn't divorce the man before it all. Nonsense!🙄🙄🙄

Nebes:
If you know the guy you are giving a response you will know it is a waste of time. His goal on nairaland is to twist every sensible narrative.

Nebes:
I don't know you but this your writeup transmits a very peaceful and calming energy.

Kobojunkie:
How so?

2. OP's depression due mostly to the incompetence of her husband and his perceived absence as a partner in the marriage is not a threat to her life? 🙄

3. For the sake of the children, because rather than have the man bear the reasonable consequences of being an incompetent husband and dad, it is better for the children to bear the guilt for why their unhappy/miserable mother had to remain in a loveless marriage?

Kobojunkie:
But OP already lives as a single mother while maintaining a dick — her husband. She told you in her OP that she pays for everything including him.

Kobojunkie:
This one brain never find im bearing at all in this life! 😂😂😂😂

GUNITGuy:
➜They're issues that could be sorted....than resorting to divorce.....
➜Complaining to others particularly to women would further compound the issue ....
➜Let are deal with it with wisdom until she gets thru it

mclloyd22:
➜But there was a time in their relationship when the man was capable.
➜A man’s life is full of OPs. No man is an island. Until I hear from the man then I will give my final responseZ
➜ This gender I no believe no trust them

MASTAkiLLAh:
➜they should both agree that he's lazy and irresponsible therefore, he should stay home like a proper housewife while madam gives him upkeep money. It's either that or divorce

Kobojunkie:
Wait a second.... so, na your neighbor dey cause you to dey tired of your marriage? You are not truly tired of existing as a slave for someone else? If the neighbor is all that is bothering you then give her an eviction letter and avoid her for as long as it will take for her to leave. Case closed!

SouthAmericalif:
i have two grown kids and my mum takes very good care of them.
i didn’t sleep this night but am a bit calm this morning since i figured it out that i have to be there for my self, in health wise and all round moving to my mums place this morning and will
get a room self contained by next week and start from there.

SouthAmericalif:
we are christian’s i have been silent for more than a year now because i respect you as my husband, this person we quarrel and swear in my gate almost everyday if her fridge did not work is me, if mosquitoe bite her is me, i don’t even know her from anywhere.
ok look for another apartment even we still have arrears of six months here but i can still afford it and we can move on na me go do everything

Kobojunkie:
You Christians and parking it is all as God of Christianity's fault is inseparable! 🙄🙄

So, the Christian God is the reason why OP ended up with a man who basically weaponized incompetence against her abi? The God of Christianity is to blame for all of the anxiety and depression —suicidal ideations as a symptom —that OP confesses she has been suffering in her marriage. WOW.... What a terrible God of Christianity he must be. OP, you better run away from that God as he has nothing good in store for you.

Honeydenz:
Sex is one of the cheapest things made available for a woman. Maybe for a man. But for a woman, Dicks are as common as Sachet water

SouthAmericalif:
woke up this morning very sick, down with catarrh cough and headache and fever, please help me pray for quick recovery

96ACE:
➜ If you’re half as smart as you wanted to sound then you should also know that God is not religious and there’s no where in my post i made reference to Christianity. So carry your ideology elsewhere.

pocohantas:
Yenyenyen, this is what married men go through without complaining.

1. Do married men provide, then come home to cook and clean? Do married men work to provide while carrying pregnancies and giving birth to babies?

2. And who said married men don't complain? For this Nigeria, wetin eyes of most non-earning wives dey see no be here.

Women would always be women indeed.

I don't know why despite being supposedly logical, these guys would always pretend not to know the difference.

It is this kleg argument they use in getting women like the OP into a sham 50:50 arrangment while whining her that she is different. Until e clear her for eye that she is being severely ripped, given the way most Nigerian marriages/homes work.

_________________
By the way, OP is not going to leave.
Manage your husband, Madam.

ejire042:
I recently came across this post that resonated deeply. I feel compelled to share my perspective, as I've experienced something similar. It seems many women risk losing good men due to their own behavior. They try to control their partners, and if the man isn't financially successful, they perceive him as weak and resort to silent treatment. While it's understandable to have financial security, using money to turn your husband into an errand boy diminishes him. You might even push him to the point where he withdraws, like when he refuses to fight your battles with neighbors, likely because he recognizes you're the source of the conflict.

The real issue isn't your husband; it's you. You need to focus on self-improvement and stop blaming him. He will likely be fine without you, but the same might not be true for you. If you find marriage to him stressful, imagine the alternative: living alone. Would that truly be better?

I can relate to this from the other side. My wife once labeled me lazy and unambitious. I knew my own worth and refused to conform to her expectations just to prove something. I wouldn't take just any job to validate my manhood. I felt like a failure, and she found me less attractive. We were on the verge of collapse when my fortunes changed dramatically. Now, things are completely different. My income far surpasses hers. My tithe alone is far more than her monthly income. Now she appreciates her husband.

Your husband is likely a good man who simply lacks motivation, perhaps because you control the finances and make all the decisions. Don't give up on him. Stay with him, respect him, and pray for him. He's not the root of your problems.

Seunmuham:
For saying," being single is the worst thing that can happen to a lady", I'll say you have a pop corn for a brain and your lecturers failed, you should be locked up in a 4x4 cage for being a danger to society.

deavicky:
introduce him to ur business and monitor him.

bukatyne:
I quoted his post and just deleted it because there is no need.

1. You will never get an answer. Except he is a househusband as in the male version of a housewife, the husband's absence will benefit her better than his presence.

2. Like! The need to bend themselves into what daddy likes so that feathers are not ruffled unless he is a godly man nor bi here! Have a friend, stayed at home for some years post marriage. It was frustration that pushed her to get a job. And she is a calm, submissive woman.

Honeydenz:
Sex is one of the cheapest things made available for a woman. Maybe for a man. But for a woman, Dicks are as common as Sachet water