₦airaland Forum

omikel:
Don't ask me if I eat it o because I no gree give bingo.
First portion to have a taste of it that same night as I was exhausted to the extent that my dinner disappeared from my belly as a result of Chasing, killing, roasting and preparation.
This first portion which is ('ijarajara and ikumuku' sorry if you don't understand that) went down with garri o. (Double Dinner)
Thank you for reading.

omikel:
Good day Nairalander,
I will be brief with my story of how I conquered one of the cats that have been terrorizing us for years in our compound. If you like, call it ANIMAL CRUELTY, but if you read to the end, you will know what I have endured for long.
On this beautiful but hot evening, I wanted to go have my shower at the tap outside with the hope to cool my body temperature.
I felt something moved fast towards one edge of the boys quarter, my instinct doesn't deceive me, IT IS ONE OF THOSE UNCULTURED CAT that used to make irritating noise while mating behind our fence. I wouldn't know if they usually come from different places to have their usual DO THE DO at our backyard. I took no offence for them doing that because nature can not be cheated. But the problem is the noise at the wee hour of the night when one is supposed to be deep in sleep.
They will make different kind of Moaning like human and at times cry like a toddler whose biscuit was snatched by his elderly one, I don't know if anyone has had the kind of experience I am trying to narrate here.
But one of them ran into the hands of an angry man who the current situation on ground has made more angrier, like the yoruba will say "Ajá tó yó, kìí bá aiyo seré"
Na so I retreived back to my room to pick up my self defense tool any day (a matchet).
I tip-toed back and lay still in the dark with my touch light on the left hand and my thumb on its switch.
Cats are very sensitive and can see in the dark like tomorrow no dey, but na luck help me kill am this day "Oluwa lo funmi pa* 😁😁😁
Immediately I felt some movement again, my thumb was the first action taker on the switch of my Torchlight, gboa! Light everywhere, the cat's eye self is another version of Torchlight on me. But I summoned courage, it is either you die today or you escape and never come back to this vicinity.
We entered battle, I pursued the 'were' to one end where where it believe is an hiding place but there is no escape route except through where I was standing with my Torchlight beaming at it and it was gazing at me also. Who will make the first move?
I tricked it into believing I am tired, within a twinkle of an eye, I blinked the light by tapping the switch pim pim the mad cat want to run out of its enclave na so I matchetted it like a criminal who is about to steal phone through the window.
But to be sincere, the thing get power, with that one hit, I thought it will be dead, rather it make one hunch back style of defense, and began to make some buzz sound with its mouth and all its claws were sharply released out, na so I woos am the second time before it succumb to weakness and finally third hit made it surrender to alumuntu.

Judolisco:
Wait oh... U chop cat? Na hunger we go call dis one or wetin? How u go chop house cat that went wild?

Chummynoni:
This thread got me laughing like an idiot 🤣🤣🤣 from the OP's usage of Yoruba to the comments . Nairalanders won't kill me🤣🤣 . @OP . Why u kill and chop olongbo iya agba?

LamineF:
I'm scared of you honestly.
Eat cat? Is this real or AI?

FREDGNF:
I wish I was this lucky with one devilish cat, that has been giving me nightmares for a year now with that devilish sounds.

omikel:
If you set trap, it will not catch them, their sensitivity no be here, if you poison bait, it will eat it and keep waxing strong, they don't die of poison.
Get a catapult and do some days vigil targeting the spot where they are, this will drive them off for some days, Max 2 weeks and before you know it they are back.
Na thug of war o, but since I killed this, the odour of roasting it's fur drove the rest away.
I haven't noticed any since then not only in our compund but the entire street have be peaceful

meobizy:
I heard cats have parasites. Sha, the meat looks well cooked. Enjoy your meal. I have a cat. I won’t mind someone killing one which frustrates his daily existence. Back in my uni days, we did the same to a cockerel which swore that we wouldn’t rest.

DeepSight:
+
Stop propagating this barbarian behaviour at once. If you are not careful steps will be taken to ensure your arrest and prosecution.

omikel:
Good day Nairalander,
I will be brief with my story of how I conquered one of the cats that have been terrorizing us for years in our compound. If you like, call it ANIMAL CRUELTY, but if you read to the end, you will know what I have endured for long.
On this beautiful but hot evening, I wanted to go have my shower at the tap outside with the hope to cool my body temperature.
I felt something moved fast towards one edge of the boys quarter, my instinct doesn't deceive me, IT IS ONE OF THOSE UNCULTURED CAT that used to make irritating noise while mating behind our fence. I wouldn't know if they usually come from different places to have their usual DO THE DO at our backyard. I took no offence for them doing that because nature can not be cheated. But the problem is the noise at the wee hour of the night when one is supposed to be deep in sleep.
They will make different kind of Moaning like human and at times cry like a toddler whose biscuit was snatched by his elderly one, I don't know if anyone has had the kind of experience I am trying to narrate here.
But one of them ran into the hands of an angry man who the current situation on ground has made more angrier, like the yoruba will say "Ajá tó yó, kìí bá aiyo seré"
Na so I retreived back to my room to pick up my self defense tool any day (a matchet).
I tip-toed back and lay still in the dark with my touch light on the left hand and my thumb on its switch.
Cats are very sensitive and can see in the dark like tomorrow no dey, but na luck help me kill am this day "Oluwa lo funmi pa* 😁😁😁
Immediately I felt some movement again, my thumb was the first action taker on the switch of my Torchlight, gboa! Light everywhere, the cat's eye self is another version of Torchlight on me. But I summoned courage, it is either you die today or you escape and never come back to this vicinity.
We entered battle, I pursued the 'were' to one end where where it believe is an hiding place but there is no escape route except through where I was standing with my Torchlight beaming at it and it was gazing at me also. Who will make the first move?
I tricked it into believing I am tired, within a twinkle of an eye, I blinked the light by tapping the switch pim pim the mad cat want to run out of its enclave na so I matchetted it like a criminal who is about to steal phone through the window.
But to be sincere, the thing get power, with that one hit, I thought it will be dead, rather it make one hunch back style of defense, and began to make some buzz sound with its mouth and all its claws were sharply released out, na so I woos am the second time before it succumb to weakness and finally third hit made it surrender to alumuntu.

omikel:
Ok sir, should I share my address to make it easy for you please?

truthhurts2:
I wish you could have a bite of it, I bet you would ask for more

joromii:
Dem dey chop cat
Omo x100

kingreign:
Lol I can relate too, lets exchange contact. If you don't mind.

Juliearth:
Sure, you can pen yours down.

omikel:
Thank you, if Jerry should disturb you the way this Tom have done for me, you won't have any other thinking than to kpai am Sir. Put yourself in my shoes

LamineF:
God pls have mercy on this guy

truthhurts2:
This is 6:42 pm and I'm still yet to receive the mercy



But for real, every smaller animals are meant to be eaten. They're food for us the "larger animal"

omikel:
THE PEPPER SOUP 🍲 JOURNEY BEGAN

I brought out my gas cylinder and lighter.
Turn it on and roast off the fur adequately, in the process of roasting, the cat still want to fight back like a kongfu master as it's forelimbs were curve in that style, but mio fọ.

I kept roasting untill it turns blacky, o jona orun apaadi.

omikel:
Good day Nairalander,
I will be brief with my story of how I conquered one of the cats that have been terrorizing us for years in our compound. If you like, call it ANIMAL CRUELTY, but if you read to the end, you will know what I have endured for long.
On this beautiful but hot evening, I wanted to go have my shower at the tap outside with the hope to cool my body temperature.
I felt something moved fast towards one edge of the boys quarter, my instinct doesn't deceive me, IT IS ONE OF THOSE UNCULTURED CAT that used to make irritating noise while mating behind our fence. I wouldn't know if they usually come from different places to have their usual DO THE DO at our backyard. I took no offence for them doing that because nature can not be cheated. But the problem is the noise at the wee hour of the night when one is supposed to be deep in sleep.
They will make different kind of Moaning like human and at times cry like a toddler whose biscuit was snatched by his elderly one, I don't know if anyone has had the kind of experience I am trying to narrate here.
But one of them ran into the hands of an angry man who the current situation on ground has made more angrier, like the yoruba will say "Ajá tó yó, kìí bá aiyo seré"
Na so I retreived back to my room to pick up my self defense tool any day (a matchet).
I tip-toed back and lay still in the dark with my touch light on the left hand and my thumb on its switch.
Cats are very sensitive and can see in the dark like tomorrow no dey, but na luck help me kill am this day "Oluwa lo funmi pa* 😁😁😁
Immediately I felt some movement again, my thumb was the first action taker on the switch of my Torchlight, gboa! Light everywhere, the cat's eye self is another version of Torchlight on me. But I summoned courage, it is either you die today or you escape and never come back to this vicinity.
We entered battle, I pursued the 'were' to one end where where it believe is an hiding place but there is no escape route except through where I was standing with my Torchlight beaming at it and it was gazing at me also. Who will make the first move?
I tricked it into believing I am tired, within a twinkle of an eye, I blinked the light by tapping the switch pim pim the mad cat want to run out of its enclave na so I matchetted it like a criminal who is about to steal phone through the window.
But to be sincere, the thing get power, with that one hit, I thought it will be dead, rather it make one hunch back style of defense, and began to make some buzz sound with its mouth and all its claws were sharply released out, na so I woos am the second time before it succumb to weakness and finally third hit made it surrender to alumuntu.

LamineF:
Now I see why u failed being Vet Doc😂💔
You devoured your test subject.