₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Was the marriage a traditional marriage or a court marriage? 😒

Both traditional and church wedding

VERTEX1:
➜Both traditional and church wedding

I guess that the marriage was not registered in the courts, then? Contact the customary court immediately to know how to go about getting her divorced and collecting child support. Again, I believe she is at greater risk if she remains married to this man. It is usually best to make clear that the door is completely closed to allow both individuals to begin completely moving on, even though they have the kids between them still. 😒😒

OP,

Your sister isn't safe in the state she's living in. That place is familiar ground to her husband, he knows how to find her.

If she's a nurse, then there's some luck. Let her get her certificate and apply to some jobs in another state, Edo or Delta for example. None of you should tell anyone, not even a friend where she is.

Leave the kids with your parents for now, until she gets back on her feet. There should be no talk of shared custody for the next full year (because a man who paid N5k to bring back his victim will kidnap his children to force her back to his house).

Don't bother asking him for money for upkeep for the kids until that full year has passed. He won't pay or he will demand to take his kids back (not out of love for them, but a need to control your sister).

With all the evidence you've gathered, you'd be better off going to your State Govt (police will only do their job once there's someone with clout or public opinion on the matter). A Commissioner or even the Governor's wife will have enough power to protect your sister. However, they may crazily decide to attempt to reconcile them (if the man is convincing enough).

Whatever is wrong with that man, your sister's love and his children's love cannot fix it. He has to face his demons himself and only God can help him. Right now, he's losing that battle so let your sister and the kids be protected.

After trading your sister for tubers and wrappers, you have the gutso to come here to shill sum sobbing story.

VERTEX1:
Thank you for your input, I don't want divorce per say, I want periodic separation. But the man is unrepentant and irredeemable. My sister is currently not even in the same city with him again, but I'm still doing underground work to get him to be answerable to law.

Why don't you want a divorce?

Kobojunkie:
I guess that the marriage was not registered in the courts, then? Contact the customary court immediately to know how to go about getting her divorced and collecting child support. Again, I believe she is at greater risk if she remains married to this man. It is usually best to make clear that the door is completely closed to allow both individuals to begin completely moving on, even though they have the kids between them still. 😒😒

It's registered based on the church's law catholic church but I know it's not enough.

Onegai:
OP,

Your sister isn't safe in the state she's living in. That place is familiar ground to her husband, he knows how to find her.

If she's a nurse, then there's some luck. Let her get her certificate and apply to some jobs in another state, Edo or Delta for example. None of you should tell anyone, not even a friend where she is.

Leave the kids with your parents for now, until she gets back on her feet. There should be no talk of shared custody for the next full year (because a man who paid N5k to bring back his victim will kidnap his children to force her back to his house).

Don't bother asking him for money for upkeep for the kids until that full year has passed. He won't pay or he will demand to take his kids back (not out of love for them, but a need to control your sister).

With all the evidence you've gathered, you'd be better off going to your State Govt (police will only do their job once there's someone with clout or public opinion on the matter). A Commissioner or even the Governor's wife will have enough power to protect your sister. However, they may crazily decide to attempt to reconcile them (if the man is convincing enough).

Whatever is wrong with that man, your sister's love and his children's love cannot fix it. He has to face his demons himself and only God can help him. Right now, he's losing that battle so let your sister and the kids be protected.

I will be following this as a manual. Thanks alot

Suicideboy:
After trading your sister for tubers and wrappers, you have the gutso to come here to shill sum sobbing story.

Son, if you know what's good for you, stay out of drugs.

Mindlog:
Why don't you want a divorce?

For now any sure way is acceptable though.

VERTEX1:
For now any sure way is acceptable though.

An outright end to the marriage is to the best interest of all....the children protected from continuous experience of violence, the woman protected from being killed by the man and the man not ending up in prison for murder.

Why did your sister who is a registered nurse, stooped so low to marry an illiterate? Isn't she aware that insecurity in marriage can lead to domestic abuse?

She didn't stop there, but when on to give birth to four kids. What the hell was she thinking?

Honestly, I don't feel bad for your sister because she must be in the category of women always saying demeaning things to single women for not being married. So, let her stay married to her prince charming and continue to cling unto the title 'mrs' for societal validation.

Mindlog:
An outright end to the marriage is to the best interest of all....the children protected from continuous experience of violence, the woman protected from being killed by the man and the man not ending up in prison for murder.

Thanks alot for the input

We4all:
Why did your sister who is a registered nurse, stooped so low to marry an illiterate? Isn't she aware that insecurity in marriage can lead to domestic abuse?

She didn't stop there, but when on to give birth to four kids. What the hell was she thinking?

Honestly, I don't feel bad for your sister because she must be in the category of women always saying demeaning things to single women for not being married. So, let her stay married to her prince charming and continue to cling unto the title 'mrs' for societal validation.

She's not a registered nurse though, when it all started, she did not let us know until they have given birth to their third, since she always birth through CS we wanted her not to do any child again, but they still went ahead with their fourth. Now the thing is worst.
Like I said she's very calm and inexperienced even now, it's now that she started listening to me because I was telling her to end the marriage at once right from Jan, because of some calculations I did and it became obvious to me that he wants to kill her. Now she almost paid with her life, she has no option than to be afraid of me.

Please let your sis under no circumstance, I repeat under no circumstance agree to go back to that hell on earth called marriage. Get a divorce asap and let her move on with her life.

The first step is taken already by getting her out of his house, there should be no going back. Marriage nowadays that most women are managing to stay in, na im beating com join again hmmm. I am surprised you sister's mental health is steal balanced.

The woman that was found on the street with two kids I am 99% sure marriage wahala got her to that stage.

fyzaila:
Please let your sis under no circumstance, I repeat under no circumstance agree to go back to that hell on earth called marriage. Get a divorce asap and let her move on with her life.

The first step is taken already by getting her out of his house, there should be no going back. Marriage nowadays that most women are managing to stay in, na im beating com join again hmmm. I am surprised you sister's mental health is steal balanced.

The woman that was found on the street with two kids I am 99% sure marriage wahala got her to that stage.

Thanks alot, all una advice just dey stabilize mental health, don't worry I'll keep you all updated.