₦airaland Forum

So guys, I need help, A friend brought a client for the sale of a property. Finally payment was made on Tuesday and unfortunately, He lost a long battle to an illness on April 16th.

He is separated, has two kids. The question now is, who do I give his share of the money. His mother, siblings, his estranged wife or Charity.

Have been pondering over this the entire week, decided to bring it here to see if you guys can help with quality inputs.

Bless Ya'all.

In my opinion, it should be either the mother or the estranged wife, but their character has to be put into consideration because the money should actually be used for the welfare of the kids, but if the mother or the wife have a questionable character or are not trustworthy, the money will just be squandered. Put that into consideration, give the money to the person who is more trustworthy and responsible amongst the two of them. Better still, if you know the children's school, use the money to pay their school fees if the amount will be enough, if the money is more than enough, maybe pay the fees and buy some stuff you know the children will need. May the soul of the departed rest in peace, Amen.

Which one is to charity?
Don't be an unfortunate person

The fact that you are very open about this really shows what a man of integrity you are. People like you are rare..

if I am to be the friend who accidentally passed away hypothetically, I will very much appreciate 60% goes to my kids through their mother, and the 40% goes to my sibling. These I belief my sibling will take care of my mother needs from his or her side. I say this because as a Yoruba man and also because of our own tradition from my side of the Yoruba tribe, it is wrong for mothers to spend from their late son's money. She wouldn't even accept it. But that's just us,
some other ethnicity or sects may have different attitude towards that.

But all in all, with proper explanation both party will understand. Because if you didn't come forward, they will move on with their life's respectively without the knowledge of the funds. 60% to the kids and through their mother, 40% to the the sibling for the mothers upkeep

Whoever the kids are staying with is the one who gets the money.

Charity...😐😐😐

put the money in trust fund in the children names

During his illness, who was taking care of him? After his death, who has been receiving people on condolence visits?

Regardless of the situation, if the mom is poor and in need, give her part of the money. Otherwise, the money should be given to his kids.

After the burial, find out who the children are with, and give it to the person, on behalf of their late father.
That is, after being sure the children are well treated.

If you give it before the burial, whoever you gave it to will claim they used the money for the burial expenses.

Nna2025:
So guys, I need help, A friend brought a client for the sale of a property. Finally payment was made on Tuesday and unfortunately, He lost a long battle to an illness on April 16th. He is separated, has two kids. The question now is, who do I give his share of the money. His mother, siblings, his estranged wife or Charity.
Have been pondering over this the entire week, decided to bring it here to see if you guys can help with quality inputs. Bless Ya'all.

To whoever is taking care of his children. 🤔

Pls what has charity got to do with this...?


I don't even know how charity entered this matter.


You don't have to give it to an individual. Contact his family. They will decide how to receive the money.

For those saying the kids or school fees etc. I really don't think you have any right to decide what the money should be used for. Those are emotional talks.


The family is in the best position to receive and decide what to do with the money.

You have no right to decide how to spend the money. It's not your personal money. If you care so much about the kids you can sponsor them with your personal money.

It's until you meet jaguda and gragra family that you will know paying the school fees is a bad idea. Irrespective of your motive.


Charity?

Guys thanks for your inputs, it appears everyone is tilting towards sharing the money between family and wife. I will do that 50/50. I will do just that tomorrow.

I mentioned Charity as a worst case scenario, Funds is in excess of 10M ,Whatever I choose to do, is for the sake of God( not necessarily to be called a good man) and I hope that through my actions God will show me and my children favour too.

Your advise I deeply appreciate. Thank you All...

Nna2025:
Guys thanks for your inputs, it appears everyone is tilting towards sharing the money between family and wife. I will do that 50/50. I will do just that tomorrow.

I mentioned Charity as a worst case scenario, Funds is in excess of 10M ,Whatever I choose to do, is for the sake of God( not necessarily to be called a good man) and I hope that through my actions God will show me and my children favour too.

Your advise I deeply appreciate. Thank you All...

Hmm! Na wa O!


May we not labour, and the reward will be given to another person.
May we be alive to eat the fruit of our labour.

Give to the poor amongst them.

If the children are comfortable give to the man's siblings that lack
If the money is in need share to her

Share it between his children and his mother

Pootle:
put the money in trust fund in the children names

Nna2025

I will second this.

Go to a trusted Financial House (Vetiva comes to mind) and ask for advice to set up a Trust fund for the kids (you'll need their Mother to be involved for legal ID purposes). So quietly do your findings and see if she will demand the money instead.

Secondly, ask a Lawyer if they can help draft a document that shows the proceeds of the sale to directly benefit the kids and then head to the investment section of a bank like Stanbic IBTC and ask them to set up a MMF account for the kids. Then contact the Mother (because they need legal ID documents from her, like passport photo and Nigerian passport plus her signature if the kids are minors). But let the lawyer be involved.

Finally if the mother is acting up, tell her it was your friend's verbal wish for the money to be set up like that but since verbal agreements don't stand up in court, you'll locate his family and give them the money and she can go and collect it from them

(That final piece should make her rethink any bad decisions). Hopefully the mother of his kids has sense.

Don't give his family and expect them to do the right thing: I don't know why men keep believing this, do you know how many families screw their nephews and nieces over once money is involved?? Na because nobody wan file go court fight their Uncle and air their dirty laundry.

Even my own, for my Will I picked the richest family members I have (because I no get shishi and they are wealthier than me, infact I beg them for money while I'm alive 😭) so I know they will look at the N60k I'm leaving my 3 kids, sigh 😮‍💨, add more to it and give them as allowance 😁

Makes sense but seems like a lot of work to me. Something simple.

Onegai:
Nna2025

I will second this.

Go to a trusted Financial House (Vetiva comes to mind) and ask for advice to set up a Trust fund for the kids (you'll need their Mother to be involved for legal ID purposes). So quietly do your findings and see if she will demand the money instead.

Secondly, ask a Lawyer if they can help draft a document that shows the proceeds of the sale to directly benefit the kids and then head to the investment section of a bank like Stanbic IBTC and ask them to set up a MMF account for the kids. Then contact the Mother (because they need legal ID documents from her, like passport photo and Nigerian passport plus her signature if the kids are minors). But let the lawyer be involved.

Finally if the mother is acting up, tell her it was your friend's verbal wish for the money to be set up like that but since verbal agreements don't stand up in court, you'll locate his family and give them the money and she can go and collect it from them

(That final piece should make her rethink any bad decisions). Hopefully the mother of his kids has sense.

Don't give his family and expect them to do the right thing: I don't know why men keep believing this, do you know how many families screw their nephews and nieces over once money is involved?? Na because nobody wan file go court fight their Uncle and air their dirty laundry.

Even my own, for my Will I picked the richest family members I have (because I no get shishi and they are wealthier than me, infact I beg them for money while I'm alive 😭) so I know they will look at the N60k I'm leaving my 3 kids, sigh 😮‍💨, add more to it and give them as allowance 😁

Share it between his mother, his wife and his father if he’s still alive and if he is dead , the mother and wife go share ham

To the mother. That's if the person has no will

A good mother should know how to handle the rest

Pootle:
put the money in trust fund in the children names

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

I duff my hat! The best comment so far!

Ask for the children where ever they are is where you will give the money. The children are his sole responsibility if he's to be alive

Money should go to the two kids. If they are not yet of age and the money is much, setup a trust fund to take care of their education, health and other basic needs, till they are of age to handle the funds.

Wife, mother & siblings should go and take care of themselves.
The remaining siblings should take care of their mother.
Wife is separated, so she go don dey sort herself out already.

Put in a Trustee account for his children. State terms that when they become 23 they can have access to thr funds, or that the funds should cater for their needs like school fees, pocket money

I believe giving the money to the estranged wife is the best thing to do although her character has to be in question. I said the estranged wife because she is the primary caregiver of the children, and the husband’s money directly affects their wellbeing. Since the children live with her full‑time, she is the one responsible for providing their daily needs from housing, food, clothing, school expenses, medical care, and overall stability.

Giving the funds to the mother would not support the children in the same direct and practical way. The money was part of the husband’s responsibility to his family, and the children’s best interests must come first. Ensuring the funds go to the household where the children actually live is the most fair, logical, and child‑centered decision.

This isn’t about choosing between the wife and the mother, it’s about making sure the children are cared for, protected, and supported in the home where they are being raised.

COMRADES, if I may ask, in Nigeria, do we give someone's sweat to charity organisation whether the donor is dead or alive?
I never hear am oo

I don't understand... You don't know who helped you most.
70% for wife and kids, 30% for mother.
What of his father? He paid the bills.
If the father is alive, remember you're a father.

HacheNoire:
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

I duff my hat! The best comment so far!

What if they need it to actually survive currently?

Nna2025:
So guys, I need help, A friend brought a client for the sale of a property. Finally payment was made on Tuesday and unfortunately, He lost a long battle to an illness on April 16th.

He is separated, has two kids. The question now is, who do I give his share of the money. His mother, siblings, his estranged wife or Charity.

Have been pondering over this the entire week, decided to bring it here to see if you guys can help with quality inputs.

Bless Ya'all.

anyone taking care of the children.

Nna2025:
Guys thanks for your inputs, it appears everyone is tilting towards sharing the money between family and wife. I will do that 50/50. I will do just that tomorrow.

I mentioned Charity as a worst case scenario, Funds is in excess of 10M ,Whatever I choose to do, is for the sake of God( not necessarily to be called a good man) and I hope that through my actions God will show me and my children favour too.

Your advise I deeply appreciate. Thank you All...

Hmmmm

What a dicey situation, cos this kind of situation the money are usually not done well

Are you so closed to deceased, what cause his separation

If the children were adults you just call dem and share it

I appreciate that you want to free your conscience, you will surely be rewarded

....