₦airaland Forum

marcusverum:
The scary thing about marriage is that your partner can wake up one day, tell you they are done and walk away.

What is terrifying is they can make that decision and you don't have to have done anything wrong. There is no court of appeal. There is no argument that will change a made-up mind.

If you rush into marriage you will rush out. Time alone does not protect you. Discernment does.

The best protection in marriage is choosing correctly at the beginning. Fix the foundation, not the cracks.

When choosing a wife be selfish. This allows you to selflessly discharge your duty as a husband.

What do you think is the biggest mistake men make before getting married?

— Marcus Verum

marcusverum:
The scary thing about marriage is that your partner can wake up one day, tell you they are done and walk away.

What is terrifying is they can make that decision and you don't have to have done anything wrong. There is no court of appeal. There is no argument that will change a made-up mind.

If you rush into marriage you will rush out. Time alone does not protect you. Discernment does.

The best protection in marriage is choosing correctly at the beginning. Fix the foundation, not the cracks.

When choosing a wife be selfish. This allows you to selflessly discharge your duty as a husband.

What do you think is the biggest mistake men make before getting married?

— Marcus Verum

SixSeven:
You have a good observation but don't forget that India has the largest population on earth. It's like someone saying don't take financial advice from Nigerians because....

Now, to the point in the passage. You know our marriages in the past were not based on love? Marriage was based on sustenance and it needed a man and woman to help us manage it and they give birth to go on and on like that. I believe there should be affection but the love nwatiti thing is not entirely ours. We believe that selecting a good family for you itself is love and you grow into it. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that system is perfect but look at what we have today. It's why they are now saying love is blind, marriage is the eye opener.

Maybe the couple should be blind first and then open their eyes to love later

SixSeven:
Marriage Is Not an Achievement But Responsibility Is
Many young people now reject marriage as a measure of success, and they are not wrong. Marriage by itself is not an achievement but it is a social structure. Now let me educate them a bit, what deserves closer attention is not your rejection of the idea of marriage, but the growing discomfort with responsibility that often accompanies it.

In African philosophy, a human being is measured largely by character. Achievement lies in the ability to act with restraint, care, and accountability. Marriage without these qualities is empty and freedom without them is destructive.

Sex has never been treated as morally neutral in any serious society. This is not because desire is evil and we are not biological people but because sex carries consequences. It creates emotional bonds, social expectations, and the possibility of children. A culture that treats sex as casual while demanding stable outcomes is not enlightened. It is inconsistent with social order and you can see the results today. One guy is always writing on his posts here on NL that the only advice he has for men is to conduct DNA.

For women, sexual fidelity was historically preserved to protect clear lines of responsibility but the ones who think they have opened eyes said it was for control. In a world without DNA testing, fidelity ensured that motherhood, paternity, and inheritance were socially legible. It allowed men to be held accountable and children to know where they belonged. Sexual norms were less about purity and more about responsibility. This did not mean women alone bore moral burden. Female sexual discipline made sense only in societies that demanded male duty in return. When restraint was expected of women but responsibility was optional for men, the moral logic broke.

Motherhood, like fatherhood, is more than biology. To bring life into the world is to accept obligation. The woman who nurtures, guides, and forms character performs one of the most demanding social roles that exists. A society that dismisses this labor while celebrating autonomy misunderstands freedom.
The family unit matters not just because it is traditional, but because it works. It is the foundation to society. It is the first place where limits are learned, where care becomes habitual, and where responsibility becomes personal. When family structures weaken, the cost of this weakness does not go away as people think it will fizzle out. It reappears in institutions asked to do what homes once did. There was a reason we said a community raises a child and why our proverbs talk about family and lineage. For so many years, the West tried to break our hegemony, they wanted us to leave our values and ethics and be like them while secretly admiring our foundation and structure. Thank God many people have japa now, they can now see the difference between oyinbo life and our society where each child is everyone's child but unfortunately when they go back home, alas even the people back home want to be like the oyinbo man without knowing it's a sad life disconnected from our roots as a people.

Young people are not wrong to question marriage. They are right to question hollow traditions. What must be reconsidered is not marriage as a trophy, but responsibility as a value.


Sexual freedom without accountability is not progress. Fidelity without mutual obligation is not justice.

I am happy this generation is sleeping anyhow and anywhere with anyone they like. When the chicken comes home to roost, you will then appreciate the wisdom of your forefathers and mothers in preserving the institution called marriage and why society needs order, accountability and responsibility. It is what we call you go see for yourself. When you are young you question many things but with age you start to understand many things too. Your parents got married because it was a sign of responsibility. Some people asked why the opinion of a married person was more important than that of an unmarried person. Those who maintained this tradition knew that it takes a special person to live with another wo/man as husband/wife and still be normal. That's why in the past, for politicians, they used to yab themselves if anyone of them had family issues that "you that cannot take care of your home wants to take care of our country".



Marriage is a school.
Freedom is a mirage.
Marriage is not an achievement.
Becoming a responsible adult is.

marcusverum:
➜ The scary thing about marriage is that your partner can wake up one day, tell you they are done and walk away. What is terrifying is they can make that decision and you don't have to have done anything wrong. There is no court of appeal. There is no argument that will change a made-up mind.
➜ If you rush into marriage you will rush out. Time alone does not protect you. Discernment does.
➜ The best protection in marriage is choosing correctly at the beginning. Fix the foundation, not the cracks. When choosing a wife be selfish. This allows you to selflessly discharge your duty as a husband. What do you think is the biggest mistake men make before getting married?
— Marcus Verum

marcusverum:
The scary thing about marriage is that your partner can wake up one day, tell you they are done and walk away.

What is terrifying is they can make that decision and you don't have to have done anything wrong. There is no court of appeal. There is no argument that will change a made-up mind.

If you rush into marriage you will rush out. Time alone does not protect you. Discernment does.

The best protection in marriage is choosing correctly at the beginning. Fix the foundation, not the cracks.

When choosing a wife be selfish. This allows you to selflessly discharge your duty as a husband.

What do you think is the biggest mistake men make before getting married?

— Marcus Verum

marcusverum:
The scary thing about marriage is that your partner can wake up one day, tell you they are done and walk away.

What is terrifying is they can make that decision and you don't have to have done anything wrong. There is no court of appeal. There is no argument that will change a made-up mind.

If you rush into marriage you will rush out. Time alone does not protect you. Discernment does.

The best protection in marriage is choosing correctly at the beginning. Fix the foundation, not the cracks.

When choosing a wife be selfish. This allows you to selflessly discharge your duty as a husband.

What do you think is the biggest mistake men make before getting married?

— Marcus Verum

marcusverum:
The scary thing about marriage is that your partner can wake up one day, tell you they are done and walk away.

What is terrifying is they can make that decision and you don't have to have done anything wrong. There is no court of appeal. There is no argument that will change a made-up mind.

If you rush into marriage you will rush out. Time alone does not protect you. Discernment does.

The best protection in marriage is choosing correctly at the beginning. Fix the foundation, not the cracks.

When choosing a wife be selfish. This allows you to selflessly discharge your duty as a husband.

What do you think is the biggest mistake men make before getting married?

— Marcus Verum

marcusverum:
The scary thing about marriage is that your partner can wake up one day, tell you they are done and walk away.

What is terrifying is they can make that decision and you don't have to have done anything wrong. There is no court of appeal. There is no argument that will change a made-up mind.

If you rush into marriage you will rush out. Time alone does not protect you. Discernment does.

The best protection in marriage is choosing correctly at the beginning. Fix the foundation, not the cracks.

When choosing a wife be selfish. This allows you to selflessly discharge your duty as a husband.

What do you think is the biggest mistake men make before getting married?

— Marcus Verum

Eteo:
Nobody tells the females that while they think they've gotten a prayer partner, what they ve actually gotten is a prayer point.

Nobody tells the females that marriage is a lifetime of unending adultery, heartbreak and loneliness..

Nobody tells the males that being a responsible husband is not just about providing food, money and security but providing companionship and leadership.

marcusverum:
The scary thing about marriage is that your partner can wake up one day, tell you they are done and walk away.

What is terrifying is they can make that decision and you don't have to have done anything wrong. There is no court of appeal. There is no argument that will change a made-up mind.

If you rush into marriage you will rush out. Time alone does not protect you. Discernment does.

The best protection in marriage is choosing correctly at the beginning. Fix the foundation, not the cracks.

When choosing a wife be selfish. This allows you to selflessly discharge your duty as a husband.

What do you think is the biggest mistake men make before getting married?

— Marcus Verum

UnknownQueen:
What do you think is the biggest mistake women make before getting married?

Dshocker:
One of worst mistake one would ever make picking a wife, is by choosing her because she has a phat ass, big boobs, or because she has beautiful face, your regret would be televised on 3D TV.

marcusverum:
The scary thing about marriage is that your partner can wake up one day, tell you they are done and walk away.

What is terrifying is they can make that decision and you don't have to have done anything wrong. There is no court of appeal. There is no argument that will change a made-up mind.

If you rush into marriage you will rush out. Time alone does not protect you. Discernment does.

The best protection in marriage is choosing correctly at the beginning. Fix the foundation, not the cracks.

When choosing a wife be selfish. This allows you to selflessly discharge your duty as a husband.

What do you think is the biggest mistake men make before getting married?

— Marcus Verum

insidelife22:
Well I think it is ignoring the red flags and hoping she can change.
Or marring her because she is beautiful or she Sabi knack. and she get nyash.

AirBere:
There's no scary truth about marriage. I've been married for so many years and the issues lies in communication and understanding.

Most importantly, marry your friend lol...

My marriage isn't perfect but there's really nothing scary there lmao 🤣 😂 😅

BRATISLAVA:
As usual, the only person who could do this, that this thread was created about, is a woman.

Only men get to heaven. They are saints perpetually wronged by women.

Sigh.

insidelife22:
don not misunderstand me,am a man, and I must talk from the pov of one

marcusverum:
The scary thing about marriage is that your partner can wake up one day, tell you they are done and walk away.

What is terrifying is they can make that decision and you don't have to have done anything wrong. There is no court of appeal. There is no argument that will change a made-up mind.

If you rush into marriage you will rush out. Time alone does not protect you. Discernment does.

The best protection in marriage is choosing correctly at the beginning. Fix the foundation, not the cracks.

When choosing a wife be selfish. This allows you to selflessly discharge your duty as a husband.

What do you think is the biggest mistake men make before getting married?

— Marcus Verum