₦airaland Forum

ikeno:
Few weeks ago an ex of mine who I still keep contact with cause we stay in same state and sometimes she comes over to my place even though am not married but she was once married but due to domestic violence she left are husband and have been fending for her 3 children through her business called me 2 weeks ago and said her seven old daughter who is the second born belongs to me and the reason she never told me was because I was not ready to settle down then.

She sent me a video of the girl and to be honest, facially she looks like me and few of my friends I showed the video to admitted she looks like me.
Since she sent me the video have been in shock and really don't know what to do in such a situation.
Have told her to come to my place this weekend so we can talk about it.

So guys how do I go about this situation any advice will be welcome

Namaster:
Thanks for this advice,I will definitely do as you said

Tell her to bring the kid and BEFORE you say/do anything, go for a DNA test.

It DOESN'T matter how much the child LOOKS like you, STILL run a DNA test.

You are DEALING with a disloyal CHEATER.

If DNA confirms the child is yours, take STEPS to play a BIG ROLE in her life.

If POSSIBLE, tell the WoRHe that you're willing to take the chill OFF her hands so she can FOCUS on catering for the other two KIDS.

Your GOAL is to ensure that your DAUGHTER (as confirmed by DNA test) is NOT raised by a Single Mother.

If you LET your daughter be raised by a Single Mother, you may end up being the FATHER of a Nigerian Bonnie Blue.

ALSO, the claim that she DIDN'T tell you earlier because you were NOT "ready to settle down" is clearly a LIE.

After all, she was ALREADY firmly settled down with a WIFE-BEATER (allegedly) at the time she was FROLICKING with you.

She was ESSENTIALLY married.

And she did NOT want to LOSE her PROVIDER.

Now that that's done and she's STUCK raising THREE kids by herself in this Great Tinubulation, she's looking for another FINANCIAL CUSHION, aka YOU.

Anyway whatever you do, NEVER invite her to live with you.
Unless you want to be the BREADWINNER for another man's family.

If you LET her guilt-trip you into ANY kind of cohabitation, be ready to PROVIDE for 3 extra people.

And when she's SUCKED you dry, she'll tell the NEXT guy you were a "wife beater".

Have SENSE!

Solofresh2:
You are being optimized. You are not being "reunited" or "given a gift." You are a dormant resource being extracted by a woman who has run out of better options. The child may be yours. That child deserves a father if so. But the child also deserves a father who enters that role with clarity, not manipulation. She stole your choice once. Don't let her steal your judgment now.

Demand a perternity test before any further discussion

ikeno:
Exactly, that's why I want her to come with the kid so if possible to do a DNA test and if the child is actually mine, I will make sure I have custody of her

Onegai:
Ikeno,

Please tell her to meet you at Mecure, Lagos state DNA testing facility (Marina, Lagos Island)or Clina-labs with the child to do a DNA test.

I hate to agree with a previous poster (because he called her a vulgar disgusting word with no proof) but she cohabited with someone and had 3 kids and somewhere along the line, was still having time for you.

That's not great judgement being shown by either her or you.

She may be looking for financial ease and decided to do this.

Be firm, ask for DNA test and don't let her move in with you.

If the DNA test comes back as your child, decide what to do. You can offer to take that child (are you married, are you ready to be a single dad, don't start looking for girlfriend to help you, most won't want to play stepmum). Or you can give her money for upkeep monthly (I'm more concerned about this route, as neither of you have shown good character judgement).

You can't force her to give up custody because legally under Nigerian law, that's her child and not yours (unless you marry her and then all the kids belong to you).

You should get your parents involved so that if she is your kid, they can convince this woman to release that child into your care and their care, as it may be better for her future to have stability.

ibechris:
If u don't have money for DNA test,do a simple blood test.

Proserpina:
When you were handling a married woman while she's with her husband did you ask us. Handle it the way you handled her.

Smh

ikeno:
Really Don't Know How To Handle This Situation

Few weeks ago an ex of mine who I still keep contact with cause we stay in same state and sometimes she comes over to my place even though am not married but she was once married but due to domestic violence she left are husband and have been fending for her 3 children through her business, called me 2 weeks ago and said her seven old daughter who is the second born belongs to me and the reason she never told me was because I was not ready to settle down then.

She sent me a video of the girl and to be honest, facially she looks like me and few of my friends I showed the video to admitted she looks like me.
Since she sent me the video have been in shock and really don't know what to do in such a situation.

Have told her to come to my place this weekend so we can talk about it.

So guys how do I go about this situation any advice will be welcome

Proserpina:
When you were handling a married woman while she's with her husband did you ask us. Handle it the way you handled her.

Smh

ikeno:
Really Don't Know How To Handle This Situation

Few weeks ago an ex of mine who I still keep contact with cause we stay in same state and sometimes she comes over to my place even though am not married but she was once married but due to domestic violence she left are husband and have been fending for her 3 children through her business, called me 2 weeks ago and said her seven old daughter who is the second born belongs to me and the reason she never told me was because I was not ready to settle down then.

She sent me a video of the girl and to be honest, facially she looks like me and few of my friends I showed the video to admitted she looks like me.
Since she sent me the video have been in shock and really don't know what to do in such a situation.

Have told her to come to my place this weekend so we can talk about it.

So guys how do I go about this situation any advice will be welcome

ikeno:
Really Don't Know How To Handle This Situation

Few weeks ago an ex of mine who I still keep contact with cause we stay in same state and sometimes she comes over to my place even though am not married but she was once married but due to domestic violence she left are husband and have been fending for her 3 children through her business, called me 2 weeks ago and said her seven old daughter who is the second born belongs to me and the reason she never told me was because I was not ready to settle down then.

She sent me a video of the girl and to be honest, facially she looks like me and few of my friends I showed the video to admitted she looks like me.
Since she sent me the video have been in shock and really don't know what to do in such a situation.

Have told her to come to my place this weekend so we can talk about it.

So guys how do I go about this situation any advice will be welcome

Onegai:
Ikeno,

Please tell her to meet you at Mecure, Lagos state DNA testing facility (Marina, Lagos Island)or Clina-labs with the child to do a DNA test.

I hate to agree with a previous poster (because he called her a vulgar disgusting word with no proof) but she cohabited with someone and had 3 kids and somewhere along the line, was still having time for you.

That's not great judgement being shown by either her or you.

She may be looking for financial ease and decided to do this.

Be firm, ask for DNA test and don't let her move in with you.

If the DNA test comes back as your child, decide what to do. You can offer to take that child (are you married, are you ready to be a single dad, don't start looking for girlfriend to help you, most won't want to play stepmum). Or you can give her money for upkeep monthly (I'm more concerned about this route, as neither of you have shown good character judgement).

You can't force her to give up custody because legally under Nigerian law, that's her child and not yours (unless you marry her and then all the kids belong to you).

You should get your parents involved so that if she is your kid, they can convince this woman to release that child into your care and their care, as it may be better for her future to have stability.

Namaster:
Tell her to bring the kid and BEFORE you say/do anything, go for a DNA test.

It DOESN'T matter how much the child LOOKS like you, STILL run a DNA test.

You are DEALING with a disloyal CHEATER.

If DNA confirms the child is yours, take STEPS to play a BIG ROLE in her life.

If POSSIBLE, tell the WoRHe that you're willing to take the chill OFF her hands so she can FOCUS on catering for the other two KIDS.

Your GOAL is to ensure that your DAUGHTER (as confirmed by DNA test) is NOT raised by a Single Mother.

If you LET your daughter be raised by a Single Mother, you may end up being the FATHER of a Nigerian Bonnie Blue.

ALSO, the claim that she DIDN'T tell you earlier because you were NOT "ready to settle down" is clearly a LIE.

After all, she was ALREADY firmly settled down with a WIFE-BEATER (allegedly) at the time she was FROLICKING with you.

She was ESSENTIALLY married.

And she did NOT want to LOSE her PROVIDER.

Now that that's done and she's STUCK raising THREE kids by herself in this Great Tinubulation, she's looking for another FINANCIAL CUSHION, aka YOU.

Anyway whatever you do, NEVER invite her to live with you.
Unless you want to be the BREADWINNER for another man's family.

If you LET her guilt-trip you into ANY kind of cohabitation, be ready to PROVIDE for 3 extra people.

And when she's SUCKED you dry, she'll tell the NEXT guy you were a "wife beater".

Have SENSE!

Namaster:
Tell her to bring the kid and BEFORE you say/do anything, go for a DNA test.

It DOESN'T matter how much the child LOOKS like you, STILL run a DNA test.

You are DEALING with a disloyal CHEATER.

If DNA confirms the child is yours, take STEPS to play a BIG ROLE in her life.

If POSSIBLE, tell the WoRHe that you're willing to take the chill OFF her hands so she can FOCUS on catering for the other two KIDS.

Your GOAL is to ensure that your DAUGHTER (as confirmed by DNA test) is NOT raised by a Single Mother.

If you LET your daughter be raised by a Single Mother, you may end up being the FATHER of a Nigerian Bonnie Blue.

ALSO, the claim that she DIDN'T tell you earlier because you were NOT "ready to settle down" is clearly a LIE.

After all, she was ALREADY firmly settled down with a WIFE-BEATER (allegedly) at the time she was FROLICKING with you.

She was ESSENTIALLY married.

And she did NOT want to LOSE her PROVIDER.

Now that that's done and she's STUCK raising THREE kids by herself in this Great Tinubulation, she's looking for another FINANCIAL CUSHION, aka YOU.

Anyway whatever you do, NEVER invite her to live with you.
Unless you want to be the BREADWINNER for another man's family.

If you LET her guilt-trip you into ANY kind of cohabitation, be ready to PROVIDE for 3 extra people.

And when she's SUCKED you dry, she'll tell the NEXT guy you were a "wife beater".

Have SENSE!

UkoAnnang:


You are the reason for her breakdown in marriage.
Men cannot just be violence towards their partners for no reason, perhaps the husband has already found out the truth that's the reason he sent her away.


Bros u get mind kn@ck person wife give am belly break the marriage join