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The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyThe Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face (12396 Views)

Poll: Institution of Marriage Will Get Better

I Agree - Marriage will be better 36% (83 votes)
I Disagree - Marriage will be worse 63% (144 votes)
This poll has ended

1 2 3 4 Reply (Go Down)

Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by InvertedHammer: 9:39pm On May 16
/
Not surprising.

Whatever bad habit oyibo vomits, Nigerians swallow gleefully.

Christianity came. They embraced it with their lives. With time so did homosexuality, babymama, wokeness and divorce. Once oyibo start promoting marrying animals, just run for the hills because your average Nigerian is very impressionable.

/
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by occfx: 10:42pm On May 16
stan4b:
I keep saying it. Marriage is not an achievement. Especially if you are poor.
If you are poor, marriage is not for you.. Just go look for one shuga mummy that can do ivf and marry if you must marry.

The issue is sometimes you will think you have money until you marry. E go come clear say you be poor man.

Most guys think say they get money but if they enter marriage, everywhere go first blur.

My advice be say, any money wey you dey make now as a single guy wey you think say dey enough for you, double that inflow by 5 times. Before marrying anybody.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by Zackattack:
bukatyne:
More thoughts on Hypergamy:

Marriage to a man in your tax bracket or higher eliminates some of the stress in marriage. Like it is said, a man will always drag a woman to his level; that drag might be upwards or downwards.

I am sure we have all heard stories where the wife wants to subsidise rent, school fees, food and other things (where the husband believes his manhood is tied to sole provision) and it causes a fight? The wife can afford a 3 bedroom flat; Odiegwu wants them to stay in one room so that people will not say it is his wife that is housing him. Visiting a man in one room as a lady living in 3 bed for a weekend might be a kink; moving into a one bedroom after marriage is horror. And any other lifestyle downgrade.

A colleague from service year (male) used to chuckle when I spoke about love. He said ' a rich man hates you but he gets a maid for you, buys a car for you, doesn't require you to do some chores' aka makes your life easy.

Some guys here on NL say washing machine is for lazy women. Imagine a woman above a certain tax bracket marrying such. Whilst her company expects her to use her time well for more meaningful tasks (there is a reason organizations provide certain welfare packages at certain levels), she is washing clothes by hand because her horseband thinks washing machines and blenders are lazy in 2026.

Interestingly, a woman wants to pull a man up so she is handing over contracts to him, giving him the car to drive, changing his wardrobe and packaging him as the 'man'.

Imagine a richer man wants to get a car or a cook or a bigger house or a washing man and the lower income wife says 'it is too small' or stops the purchase.

Until the dynamics of marriage changes, a woman who doesn't want to spend her life shalaying, massaging egos, or reducing herself to accommodate a man should better marry her tax bracket and higher.

God forbid she adds the stress of marrying below her tax bracket to the stress of marrying a man.

And if they are both poor, he has the capacity for growth so that when they/she blows, he is not insisting on grinding stone pepper.
This actually doesn’t make sense. So you think quality men are unaware of their scarcity and the desperate women around them🤷🏽‍♂️💁🏻‍♀️
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by galantjoe(m): 11:15pm On May 16
This post present pessimistic view of marriage considering that bad news travels faster than good news. Divorce is only between 5% to 10% of marriage

The rate is not yet alarming but due to how social media reported such divorce seems to make rampant cases

2mch:
Redpill wey don die since 2022, you still de carry the title. The world don leave you go tey tey my bro. Try find new hustle. You never marry you come get dissertation on marriage.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by MIKOLOWISKA: 11:53pm On May 16
[quote author=bukatyne post=139428858]If men are ready to do the inner work required, marriage stats will improve.
[/Quote] what is this mythical in-network you alluded to
Generally, men and women still need companionship, sex without guilt, children, community etc.

However, women have realized that financial provision or the promise of it is not worth the investment of a bad marriage.
[/Quote] finance is the only reason they go into it [quote]So till men change emass, we are where we are.
[/Quote] change what
Men haven't changed
Women have
Men will not change it is women that must
[quote]Re hypergamy: it is not sustainable long term.
[/Quote] debateable [quote]As soon as the women in the countries attracting passport bros see what befell their mothers and grandmothers due to lack of personal funds, they will stop hunting 'just a rich man' and start to look for character and compatibility. [/Quote] Bible foretold [quote]I also think that men are projecting hypergamy more than it is important for women because it absorbs men of character building. Why do I have to be a likeable man when all I need to have is some form of resources?
[/Quote] why does he
He saw what happened to the nice guy
[quote]I look around my circle and most of us married men we grew with at work (starting out careers with) or as far back as university. In university, two set of couples got married in same level, same unit (in a pool of 80 people; some older ones were married). The 3rd one didn't happen because the guy didn't want an 'ambitious' woman.

The irony is that the kind of atmosphere men want in marriage is possible..... if they are willing to emotionally invest in it.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by MIKOLOWISKA: 11:54pm On May 16
2mch:
Redpill wey don die since 2022, you still de carry the title. The world don leave you go tey tey my bro. Try find new hustle. You never marry you come get dissertation on marriage.
blue puller sighted
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by MIKOLOWISKA: 12:01am On May 17
[quote author=bukatyne post=139429155]More thoughts on Hypergamy:

Marriage to a man in your tax bracket or higher eliminates some of the stress in marriage. Like it is said, a man will always drag a woman to his level; that drag might be upwards or downwards.
[/Quote] can you afford him
I am sure we have all heard stories where the wife wants to subsidise rent, school fees, food and other things (where the husband believes his manhood is tied to sole provision) and it causes a fight? The wife can afford a 3 bedroom flat; Odiegwu wants them to stay in one room so that people will not say it is his wife that is housing him. [/Quote] do you want to feed your husband [quote]Visiting a man in one room as a lady living in 3 bed for a weekend might be a kink; moving into a one bedroom after marriage is horror. And any other lifestyle downgrade.
[/Quote] die alone in your 3bdr [quote]A colleague from service year (male) used to chuckle when I spoke about love. He said ' a rich man hates you but he gets a maid for you, buys a car for you, doesn't require you to do some chores' aka makes your life easy.
[/Quote] where did he lie [quote]Some guys here on NL say washing machine is for lazy women. [/Quote] point them out(stop lying) [quote]Imagine a woman above a certain tax bracket marrying such. [/Quote] did she not confirm compatibility before dating him [quote]Whilst her company expects her to use her time well for more meaningful tasks (there is a reason organizations provide certain welfare packages at certain levels),
so she will only work for money
No need for marriage na
she is washing clothes by hand because her horseband thinks washing machines and blenders are lazy in 2026.
[/Quote] says a lot about her if that's what she could attract [quote]Interestingly, a woman wants to pull a man up so she is handing over contracts to him, giving him the car to drive, changing his wardrobe and packaging him as the 'man'.
[/Quote] how many. Be honest [quote]Imagine a richer man wants to get a car or a cook or a bigger house or a washing man and the lower income wife says 'it is too small' or stops the purchase.
[/Quote] she is in no position to do so
Where does poverty rule?
[quote]Until the dynamics of marriage changes, a woman who doesn't want to spend her life shalaying, massaging egos, or reducing herself to accommodate a man should better marry her tax bracket and higher.
[/Quote] dynamics will never change [quote]God forbid she adds the stress of marrying below her tax bracket to the stress of marrying a man.
[/Quote] hence for alone jejely [quote]And if they are both poor, he has the capacity for growth so that when they/she blows, he is not insisting on grinding stone pepper.
hmmm
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by PEXBlog: 12:06am On May 17
SixSeven:
Our main problem is the economy ant that is the problem for the west too. Why will you build a family when mortgage is expensive and house prices are ridiculous? No one wants to carry that burden.

The workforce is also changing with more women getting into the workforce so what's the motivation for men to build?
I’ve been reading a lot of your comments on issues here. If you don’t mind, let’s be friends so I can learn from you. I know the feeling will be mutual as well. I’m sending you a P.M. right away
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by Manculated:
Jman06:
It is the education and empowerment of women that caused the fall of marriage! To put things right again requires that men and women either go back to the traditional system of marriage where the man is the head and provides for the family and woman submits and does her wifely duties in kitchen and the other room, OR, if we want to embrace marriage as a partnership built on gender equality, then the both genders should sincerely and intentionally agree to jettison traditional gender roles and work as equal partners.

This entails that women must stop expecting men to provide for them and the family while men should also agree to join hands with their wives in doing chores in the home. Women should also stop the attitude of "his money is our money while my own money is for me alone".
If the above can be done, we'll be able to get marriage right on track.
You are the one who haven't been updated about the latest development.

Nothing concern modern well informed men with provision for a fully grown adult. Each party carries their cross until a juvenile enters the picture which is a mandatory duty.

Na old fashioned sheeethole men still dey carry manhood for head like gala and lacasera and i'm less concerned.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by dalitigator(m): 1:07am On May 17
SixSeven:
Hypergamy is real no matter how women deny it. It's in their nature. That's why I tell men

YOU MUST ALWAYS WORK ON YOURSELF

The world is not fair on men but the world does not care men. They say women and children will get help before you. If you think that's a lie, see what happened in Ukraine war, who did they first prioritize to leave? Let your wife complain about you, you are not exciting, you are boring, you don't have drive. Once another woman shows interest in you, it will drive her crazy because even if she does better than the other lady or even if the girl is a househelp, she will just be mad that another woman species can see value in you as a man. Hypergamy for women is nature in action. She is built to submit to you the man. If she doesn't see your worth, she will be asking herself why she needs to submit to you. Women want leaders, not mates so those women who preach partnership are also misleading other ladies. We know this but no need to argue about it. If the man is not someone she looks up to, she will not submit to him.

This Tyler Perry movie captures the native of women and hypergamy. You are not on her level



If she is doubt better than you, I'm sorry, your marriage age is at risk. I am not saying you should not support your woman but only the one with fear of God will know the value of the man in her house beyond a career that cannot be more than 30 years. I was watching Mr Brown say the man must never allow the woman be in charge of rent, school fees etc. Some people abused him but I absolutely agree with him. I have seen it over and over again. Women being in charge with a man who's not doing well as them is a very big test that only the one with fear of God can manage it. Eventually we will all realize after bashing marriage that no human being can survive alone. We need each other. So when they finish tearing marriage pant, I hope they don't get too old or its too late to know its importance.
What's the title of this movie? Would love to watch it.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by GUNITGuy: 1:24am On May 17
2mch:
Redpill wey don die since 2022, you still de carry the title. The world don leave you go tey tey my bro. Try find new hustle. You never marry you come get dissertation on marriage.
Redpill achieved their aim which is to discourage men from getting married.....
The population of men of marriageable age unwilling to marry even with the resources post age 30 is staggering....it's already affecting them in the west ...
Do you know the number of spinsters and soon be spinsters we have in the USA ...
Do you know the number of families searching for suitors for their daughters in Naija all the way from USA or UK ....you might not know this
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by SixSeven: 2:14am On May 17
occfx:
If you are poor, marriage is not for you.. Just go look for one shuga mummy that can do ivf and marry if you must marry.

The issue is sometimes you will think you have money until you marry. E go come clear say you be poor man.

Most guys think say they get money but if they enter marriage, everywhere go first blur.

My advice be say, any money wey you dey make now as a single guy wey you think say dey enough for you, double that inflow by 5 times. Before marrying anybody.
And you think shuga mummy will take sperm of poor man?
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by 2mch(m): 2:21am On May 17
GUNITGuy:
Redpill achieved their aim which is to discourage men from getting married.....
The population of men of marriageable age unwilling to marry even with the resources post age 30 is staggering....it's already affecting them in the west ...
Do you know the number of spinsters and soon be spinsters we have in the USA ...
Do you know the number of families searching for suitors for their daughters in Naija all the way from USA or UK ....you might not know this
USA is not the world. That is an agenda country the rest of the world, millions marry every weekend. Nobody takes US and UK influencers seriously. You better log off Youtube and go outside to see millions of Nigerians getting married every weekend.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by SixSeven: 2:24am On May 17
sparko1:
There's one little point you are missing, marriage doesn't favor a man, there is nothing to gain, everything that is provided can be gained without marriage.

Besides, marriage is overrated, we have enough population already.
But you have also heard about the male loneliness pandemic and men are having less friends because to prove that you have figured it out is to be selectively unavailable and social media is not even helping with connections. Marriage is overrated? I doubt it. It's easier for women to be alone than men and that's fact. Men still need marriage for companionship and mission.

Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by mutvy: 2:29am On May 17
The way Christians talk down marriage is alarming.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by Maj196(m): 2:40am On May 17
Tenrack:
abeg when she starts to show you shege. No forget to update us.

Yours sincerely
Sir 10 racks.
You people think every girl na the same abi, dey their
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by fyneboi79(m): 3:16am On May 17
Tenrack:
make Una continue to Marry dey turn unasslevs to slave for one woman. As long as you're well to do as a guy..you have no business marrying one woman . Bro...no make that mistake again. Women selfish die.
My brother i have learnt that the hard way and won't be getting into marriage or anything serious with Nigerian Women. Its all transactional now with them and I love it that way.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by Tenrack: 4:52am On May 17
fyneboi79:
My brother i have learnt that the hard way and won't be getting into marriage or anything serious with Nigerian Women. Its all transactional now with them and I love it that way.
That's just it. Some fools will still come and argue but they'll learn eventually
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by Tenrack: 4:53am On May 17
Maj196:
You people think every girl na the same abi, dey their
No worry. I no get strength to argue. Enjoy.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by Tenrack: 4:59am On May 17
occfx:
If you are poor, marriage is not for you.. Just go look for one shuga mummy that can do ivf and marry if you must marry.

The issue is sometimes you will think you have money until you marry. E go come clear say you be poor man.

Most guys think say they get money but if they enter marriage, everywhere go first blur.

My advice be say, any money wey you dey make now as a single guy wey you think say dey enough for you, double that inflow by 5 times. Before marrying anybody.
and some dey follow me argue say no be slave man dey slave inside marriage. Everybody go learn definitely.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by Maj196(m): 7:38am On May 17
Tenrack:
No worry. I no get strength to argue. Enjoy.
Oga, change the kind of girls you meet be like say dem don show you shege.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by Tenrack: 8:04am On May 17
Maj196:
Oga, change the kind of girls you meet be like say dem don show you shege.
grin it's Allright. Sha make you update us. Make others learn from your over confidence.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by sparko1(m): 9:05am On May 17
SixSeven:
But you have also heard about the male loneliness pandemic and men are having less friends because to prove that you have figured it out is to be selectively unavailable and social media is not even helping with connections. Marriage is overrated? I doubt it. It's easier for women to be alone than men and that's fact. Men still need marriage for companionship and mission.
That is the lie most men are feed, men are always lonely, even married men, most die before their wives, before their children becomes provider, those who are unlucky to be alive becomes bachelor all over again. Have you ever heard of men being invited to his son or daughters house after a new birth.

If you are not comfortable/happy being alone, you will never be happy.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by occfx: 9:46am On May 17
SixSeven:
And you think shuga mummy will take sperm of poor man?
Poor people Sabi Nak ooo... Chei. They no dey think anything na sex sex and na waiting an average shuga mummy dey find
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by occfx: 9:49am On May 17
Tenrack:
and some dey follow me argue say no be slave man dey slave inside marriage. Everybody go learn definitely.
Man na slave for marriage, make children grow you go see say you be guest inside your own house
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by RedpillAnalyst(op): 10:37am On May 17
femi4:
What is eyinbo? It is called Oyinbo

The institution of marriage is one institution that is checkmating juvenile deliquency..it aint dying
Thanks for the of correction.

The last sense is an opinion not a fact backed by data.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by RedpillAnalyst(op): 10:38am On May 17
Nozarashi:
Every idiot is suddenly an expert on everything and will always give their ignorant opinions on issues.
Okay thank you for the input.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by SixSeven: 10:43am On May 17
occfx:
Poor people Sabi Nak ooo... Chei. They no dey think anything na sex sex and na waiting an average shuga mummy dey find
You don't think Shuga mommy is thinking about giving birth to poor man pikin? Instraf of her doing that, she will risk her life sleeping with a rich/successful man, keep his child for him as the most prized secret.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by Maj196(m): 10:45am On May 17
Tenrack:
grin it's Allright. Sha make you update us. Make others learn from your over confidence.
Guy, I no dey cap. That girl is 1 in a Million
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by RedpillAnalyst(op): 10:46am On May 17
helinues:
The selfishness is shared. So a married woman don't have right to attend girls night out once in a while?
Everyone has to do whatever. Same way I have the right to put my thumb in a blender.

Equating a man and woman is the biggest social engineering ever. These are 2 creatures with different hormones and algorithms.
Re: The Death Of Marriage: Harsh Reality Nigerians Must Face by Jman06(m): 11:03am On May 17
OredoPikin:
We are already overpopulated abeg.
If i become president, i will ban marriage for 8yrs😁😁
No marriage
No childbirth

If you born, you will be arrested and seriously dealt with.
U cant be giving birth when over 80% of Nigerians are poor
Overpopulation is not an issue in southern Nigeria, if you talk about the north, I'll agree with you. Down south, we have alot of impediments to marriage and childbearing compared to the conservative north.

More southern ladies are and would remain unmarried for life due to the fact that we embrace western lifestyles and copy what they do. Empowering women through education and employment is the greatest impediment to marriage because despite being empowered economically, these women still hold tight to the traditional gender roles in marriage and seek to marry men who are richer than them. They forget that the traditional gender roles were created with the mindset that women would remain in the kitchen and homefront while the man provides.
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