₦airaland Forum

sparko1:
That is the lie most men are feed, men are always lonely, even married men, most die before their wives, before their children becomes provider, those who are unlucky to be alive becomes bachelor all over again. Have you ever heard of men being invited to his son or daughters house after a new birth.

If you are not comfortable/happy being alone, you will never be happy.

I agree with the last line, if someone cannot be comfortable alone, marriage will not magically make them happy but saying men are always lonely anyway ignores a lot of historical and cultural realities about why men married in the first place.

Men went to seek a woman's hand in marriage because companionship, intimacy, family, children, and partnership mattered to them. Human beings are social by nature, so wanting marriage partly to avoid loneliness is normal, not weakness of not being able to stay alone. This is why men were polygamous. Men often did not want to face old age, widowhood, or isolation alone. Biologically, a man could remain fertile long after a wife reached menopause, which influenced why we also accepted polygamy.

Social expectations matter too. In many cultures, a man living under his wife's family was and is seen as losing status or dignity, so men built their own households instead of depending on in-laws. That's why men don't often go for omugwo and those things to avoid see finish and maintain his ego/pride, it's not about being a bad father, that was never a man's role in Africa. His role was to provide and mentor. What does he want to teach a 6 month old? In Africa, women have always been the nurturer until this generation tried to change it. I don't know any other mammal where the man is the one taking care of infants and young children, you will see that men do more of protection. In most mammal species, females do most or all of the early infant care because they carry pregnancy and produce milk, so they are biologically tied to the earliest stage. Men had their own roles but it wasn't for the infant except there's a ritual etc. Privacy, modesty, and comfort are real reasons practices like Omugwo have traditionally been handled by women rather than men. After childbirth, a woman is in a physically and emotionally vulnerable state involving recovery, bleeding, breastfeeding, and body exposure during care. In many cultures, it was considered more appropriate and less stressful for her to be supported by other women, mothers, aunties, or in-laws who could assist closely without creating discomfort or violating social norms around privacy. A man is technically useless to the omugwo and we should not deceive ourselves about this reality. He can't even understand the experience because he has never given birth so it makes sense that women go for it.


Back to polygamy, larger families also meant stronger lineage, support systems, and security in old age. True, the point about elderly men becoming bachelors again after widowhood is partly true. Many older men struggle deeply with loneliness after losing a spouse because men often build fewer emotional support systems outside marriage compared to women. The hustle for life and providing for family is one of the factors behind this. There is statistics or census to this. Men are more lonely than women, it is not about not being able to stand alone or do without anyone else. Na men go find woman hand in marriage, not the other way round.

Gallup's 2025 analysis found that young American men were among the loneliest groups in wealthy countries, with 25% of U.S. men aged 15–34 saying they felt lonely a lot the previous day, compared to 18% of young women. For older men, the studies consistently show widowed, unmarried, and socially isolated older men struggle heavily once marriage, work structure, or family proximity disappears. Research also shows men often maintain smaller emotional support networks than women, meaning many rely primarily on wives for emotional connection. It is an American survey but it's the best I can use to backup my facts. This is why I wrote in my last post that men need women more than they need men. And this is why even if a man is unmarried, rich, successful, sleeping with oloshos will never cure that loneliness because you cannot buy companionship. Isn't this why they created robots for men? A companion to help him? He will also never release his sperms for an olosho to give birth to his child and he knows why I don't know how old you are but think about those you know or you have seen, who is likely to get married again between a widower and a widow? The woman can close her legs and focus on the children while the man finds it hard to do. He will remarry. Even his children will find another woman for him as his assistant but when their mom is in the same situation, they will be fighting the man that wants to marry her. A woman being celibate again won't affect her like men and now we have come to see that if a man should do that, it can affect his prostate.

Being unable to stand being alone is unhealthy, but seeking companionship and marriage because you do not want lifelong isolation is also completely human. Marriage historically existed for emotional, social, biological, economic, and generational reasons for both men and women.

👆 I hope you have enjoyed my beautiful nonsense. Happy Sunday

Maj196:
Guy, I no dey cap. That girl is 1 in a Million

no wahala na. Infact na one in one billion. Sha no forget to keep us updated. Shame us.

occfx:
Man na slave for marriage, make children grow you go see say you be guest inside your own house

Omo 💔 shit

Tenrack:
no wahala na. Infact na one in one billion. Sha no forget to keep us updated. Shame us.

This guy na were, you better talk your mind make I link you to better wife materials and stop chasing h0es

Maj196:
This guy na were, you better talk your mind make I link you to better wife materials and stop chasing h0es

you're right. I'm wrong. I dey follow classless girls. Sha promise to update us when it goes sour. I go wait.

SixSeven:
You don't think Shuga mommy is thinking about giving birth to poor man pikin? Instraf of her doing that, she will risk her life sleeping with a rich/successful man, keep his child for him as the most prized secret.

Go sperm bank, na poor man sperm full there and na there most shuga mummy dey go collect sperm do IVF. But instead of going there, they prefer to collect fresh one from gateman or driver. Though, they won't let the foolish man know say na him get pikin.

The best they do now is to upgrade a poor young man and relocate. To me that's the best option for both.

Tenrack:
you're right. I'm wrong. I dey follow classless girls. Sha promise to update us when it goes sour. I go wait.

Nor be about class but finding the right woman that would give you peace. Kai, the girl wen do you this tin nor try oo... Anyways, I go update you no shakin

Maj196:
Nor be about class but finding the right woman that would give you peace. Kai, the girl wen do you this tin nor try oo... Anyways, I go update you no shakin

Correct guy.

occfx:
If you are poor, marriage is not for you.. Just go look for one shuga mummy that can do ivf and marry if you must marry.

The issue is sometimes you will think you have money until you marry. E go come clear say you be poor man.

Most guys think say they get money but if they enter marriage, everywhere go first blur.

My advice be say, any money wey you dey make now as a single guy wey you think say dey enough for you, double that inflow by 5 times. Before marrying anybody.

is it advisable to marry an idle girl

galantjoe:
This post present pessimistic view of marriage considering that bad news travels faster than good news. Divorce is only between 5% to 10% of marriage

The rate is not yet alarming but due to how social media reported such divorce seems to make rampant cases

so you will marry?

neztar:
is it advisable to marry an idle girl

You want to marry a deity?

Discountsempai:
LOL...at washing machine is for lazy women

The thing is, it is not all the clothes we wear that should be washed by hand, some need to be washed in a washing machine.

The reason why many second had clothes that are imported from abroad look 'very new' is because they were washed in a washing machine based on the clothes label instruction which means that they last longer per wash. Doing it with hand only makes them deteriorate faster.

Perhaps when men realize that washing machine = less money spent on buying clothes, dem go reason am

Trust me, the men with that mentality don't think that far.

Oche0001:
Don't assume men.. don't want to move high to their wife demand cos of ego..

Your first story is popular or common..but your conclusion is not always the case..what if they moved to the bigger apartment, how about sustainaance..do you think the woman can keep up even with her own share of financial responsibilities with complaints and excuses for long?

And when a woman enter the point of complaining the bond don break be that..na issue and wahala till the end.. nothing fit solve am

If a man brings other things to the marriage apart from money, a woman who marries a man below her tax bracket will be fine with it.

DMCA:
bukatyne u are alive?
I thought u died

I will not die but live to declare God's glory in the land of the living.

And if you don't like that, you will go in my stead.

sparko1:
There's one little point you are missing, marriage doesn't favor a man, there is nothing to gain, everything that is provided can be gained without marriage.

Besides, marriage is overrated, we have enough population already.

A man who thinks there is nothing to gain shouldn't get married; a woman who doesn't understand the work required of her in marriage shouldn't either.

Whilst both parties won't have the full picture before their 1st marriage, they must have an idea.

That lack of favour in marriage for men is the reason they can't wait to remarry after widowhood or divorce despite having a 'pass' to have sex outside the martial union.

tragergeorge:
.
you were Makin sense till you made mention of abroad cloths new cos twas washed with machine,, that's a big fat lie

those clothes was new cos it was washed the right way plus fair weather plays major role and many at times each weather change they go for something new that suits the weather (getting cloths it's not a big deal there)...
show a cloth where machine only was written
there's are lot of cloths labels that carries hand wash or the machine logo striked out...
especially t-shirts...
washing machine makes washing faster easier neater economical, cleaner

BUT NEVER EVER MAKES CLOTHS LAST LONGER...

and I'm not saying it destroy cloths,, but it destroys T-shirts labelled hand wash only

Why would you wash an item labelled hand wash only with a machine?

Do you think a washing machine automatically infers never washing with hands?

Anfieldboss:
1. It takes two to make a marriage work.

2. You seem to absolve women completely of the rate of failing marriages nowadays.

3. As much as men contribute to marriage failing, women also do too.

1. I agree.

2. Completely, no.

3. The husband is the leader of the home. The family dances to whatever tune he plays. I however agree that there are a few exceptions.

Jman06:
1. It is the education and empowerment of women that caused the fall of marriage! To put things right again requires that men and women either go back to the traditional system of marriage where the man is the head and provides for the family and woman submits and does her wifely duties in kitchen and the other room, OR, if we want to embrace marriage as a partnership built on gender equality, then the both genders should sincerely and intentionally agree to jettison traditional gender roles and work as equal partners.

2. This entails that women must stop expecting men to provide for them and the family while men should also agree to join hands with their wives in doing chores in the home. Women should also stop the attitude of "his money is our money while my own money is for me alone".
If the above can be done, we'll be able to get marriage right on track.

1. That door has bolted. Never in the world again will men have that collective power to oppress women like it was done in the past. Slavery might come first sef with the way Trump is moving mad.

2. Male provision is a largely a myth. Only very few men can fully and solely provide for a family. And only fewer are will to without treating the family like his personal slaves.

Jman06:
Overpopulation is not an issue in southern Nigeria, if you talk about the north, I'll agree with you. Down south, we have alot of impediments to marriage and childbearing compared to the conservative north.

More southern ladies are and would remain unmarried for life due to the fact that we embrace western lifestyles and copy what they do. Empowering women through education and employment is the greatest impediment to marriage because despite being empowered economically, these women still hold tight to the traditional gender roles in marriage and seek to marry men who are richer than them. They forget that the traditional gender roles were created with the mindset that women would remain in the kitchen and homefront while the man provides.

When you say South, I hope you don't mean Yorubas and the Efiks.

Because Yoruba families do not even practice male sole provider; they don't believe in it. Same with awon AKS dem dem.

Perhaps you are talking of older Igbo families.

bukatyne:
When you say South, I hope you don't mean Yorubas and the Efiks.

Because Yoruba families do not even practice male sole provider; they don't believe in it. Same with awon AKS dem dem.

Perhaps you are talking of older Igbo families.

Nothing like older Igbo families o. All Igbo ladies still believe that men are to provide for them and their families! Even when they work, they still hold on to the same believe. This is why many of them don't get married these days and remain in their father's houses till old age.

bukatyne:
I will not die but live to declare God's glory in the land of the living.

And if you don't like that, you will go in my stead.

let me explore u before u go

bukatyne:
Why would you wash an item labelled hand wash only with a machine?

Do you think a washing machine automatically infers never washing with hands?

have you seen an item labelled machine wash only