₦airaland Forum

A thread opened in August 2022 just made it to the front page almost 4 years later.

Having said that, you are kindly advised to be intentional and deliberate about emotional intelligence aimed at guiding your emotions. People will surely you hurt and offend you. Hence, you must be capable of not only forgive but ensure that the relationship/distance isn't cut off particularly with your closest folks.

August 2022 post. Is Nairaland truly not wonderful!
Madam go don marry forget this post sef. And the hubby go don dey collect wotowoto now, but she fit don get help through counselling.
But that kind lady fit stab her man inn play away

OP let me ask you a question. Do you ever offend people? If yes, then what do you expect in return?

Pls learn to forgive or else you might just be needing a planet of your own.

Embrace Christ, surrender fully to him and he'll melt your hard heart. You're a human being. Offence must come. But even though some relationships can never be the same again, you owe everyone forgiveness.

And as for marriage, you can never enjoy it if you cannot forgive. The choice is yours at the end of the day.

Anuoluwa12345:
Good evening, pls I need help on something
I don't even know how to put it well, but I will try my best to explain a little..and I seek sincere advice from matured and experienced ppl on the forum.

I am a type that when I love ppl, I love them wholeheartedly..to the extent that I will give in all my best to them.. be it family members or non. When I tell you I gat your back, then I truly mean it. But the problem now is, when these ppl hurt me. I don't know how to handle it, I don't even know if I will call it unforgiving spirit or maybe cause I remember things alot, I will surely not forget.

It's not as if I won't forgive them o, I will but, to make that relationship between me and that person smooth back.. it's not possible.. the distance will always be there.. tho before I get angry or pick offence it takes long, but once it happens like this! I know I have lost relationship with that soul.

Some of my relatives (extended fam) offended me, and since about 3 yrs now, these ppl have been sending different ppl just to beg me and talk to me etc.. in order to make things back, but it's just not working!. Cuz I know myself.

And I am a type that, once I vex, I don't look back..even if the person has done a lot of things etc.. I have tried my best but it's just not working. And I understand the fact that there is no how there won't be argument among humans, it's not possible.

My greatest fear now is, what if I marry, is this how It will be towards my husband, someone I claim I love? Pls how do I tackle this problem before I reach that stage, pls I need sincere word of wisdom from elders, else why I come to a faceless forum to pour out my mind.

You are not just red flag but alarm bells or police siren because you are a no no


I would advice you not to ever get married so that you will not let an inocent man suffer for your toxicity

1peter 4:8. Check that scripture and examine what you call love. Maybe it's something else. Hope you aren't offended?

Just be a born again, when you understand fully the teaching of Christ, you will know that unforgiving spirit can close ur door of blessing for a long time. And a lot of people are in hell because unforgiving

Go read about empaths and self awareness… u jus nid to understand ursef beta nd manage it… same here 👍

Anuoluwa12345:
Good evening, pls I need help on something
I don't even know how to put it well, but I will try my best to explain a little..and I seek sincere advice from matured and experienced ppl on the forum.

I am a type that when I love ppl, I love them wholeheartedly..to the extent that I will give in all my best to them.. be it family members or non. When I tell you I gat your back, then I truly mean it. But the problem now is, when these ppl hurt me. I don't know how to handle it, I don't even know if I will call it unforgiving spirit or maybe cause I remember things alot, I will surely not forget.

It's not as if I won't forgive them o, I will but, to make that relationship between me and that person smooth back.. it's not possible.. the distance will always be there.. tho before I get angry or pick offence it takes long, but once it happens like this! I know I have lost relationship with that soul.

Some of my relatives (extended fam) offended me, and since about 3 yrs now, these ppl have been sending different ppl just to beg me and talk to me etc.. in order to make things back, but it's just not working!. Cuz I know myself.

And I am a type that, once I vex, I don't look back..even if the person has done a lot of things etc.. I have tried my best but it's just not working. And I understand the fact that there is no how there won't be argument among humans, it's not possible.

My greatest fear now is, what if I marry, is this how It will be towards my husband, someone I claim I love? Pls how do I tackle this problem before I reach that stage, pls I need sincere word of wisdom from elders, else why I come to a faceless forum to pour out my mind.

There's no way you will co exit with people that you will not be trampled upon, vice versa. If you continue like this, very soon, everyone will be your enemy.

No man is an island, you cannot live in isolation,you must interact with people.

Learn how to forgive others and move on with your life else you will got stuck because being offended is a lesson we humans have to learn which will make us better.

Same here I have exact behavior
Though am a male, may we kukuma marry na since we get similar character

Anuoluwa12345:
Good evening, pls I need help on something
I don't even know how to put it well, but I will try my best to explain a little..and I seek sincere advice from matured and experienced ppl on the forum.

I am a type that when I love ppl, I love them wholeheartedly..to the extent that I will give in all my best to them.. be it family members or non. When I tell you I gat your back, then I truly mean it. But the problem now is, when these ppl hurt me. I don't know how to handle it, I don't even know if I will call it unforgiving spirit or maybe cause I remember things alot, I will surely not forget.

It's not as if I won't forgive them o, I will but, to make that relationship between me and that person smooth back.. it's not possible.. the distance will always be there.. tho before I get angry or pick offence it takes long, but once it happens like this! I know I have lost relationship with that soul.

Some of my relatives (extended fam) offended me, and since about 3 yrs now, these ppl have been sending different ppl just to beg me and talk to me etc.. in order to make things back, but it's just not working!. Cuz I know myself.

And I am a type that, once I vex, I don't look back..even if the person has done a lot of things etc.. I have tried my best but it's just not working. And I understand the fact that there is no how there won't be argument among humans, it's not possible.

My greatest fear now is, what if I marry, is this how It will be towards my husband, someone I claim I love? Pls how do I tackle this problem before I reach that stage, pls I need sincere word of wisdom from elders, else why I come to a faceless forum to pour out my mind.

You're an introvert, I am too.... There's nothing wrong with you, that's just our ways.

We have the softest heart and can go all out for anybody. We tend to avoid conflict or whatever will cause conflicts because we might have the softest heart, but when we offended.... We have the strongest hearts, not that we don't forgive, it's just that relationship can never go back to "normal"... Unless it's our partner (which might still take time)

Nothing is wrong with you, I totally understand you 💯

I'll like to be a friend with you if that's fine by you

You need to ask God for a large heart that can accommodates offenses. Humans by nature are imperfect so expecting perfection is practically impossible.

You need the baptism of the holy Spirit and a constant study of the word of God.

It will renew your mind.

Anuoluwa12345:
Good evening, pls I need help on something
I don't even know how to put it well, but I will try my best to explain a little..and I seek sincere advice from matured and experienced ppl on the forum.

I am a type that when I love ppl, I love them wholeheartedly..to the extent that I will give in all my best to them.. be it family members or non. When I tell you I gat your back, then I truly mean it. But the problem now is, when these ppl hurt me. I don't know how to handle it, I don't even know if I will call it unforgiving spirit or maybe cause I remember things alot, I will surely not forget.

It's not as if I won't forgive them o, I will but, to make that relationship between me and that person smooth back.. it's not possible.. the distance will always be there.. tho before I get angry or pick offence it takes long, but once it happens like this! I know I have lost relationship with that soul.

Some of my relatives (extended fam) offended me, and since about 3 yrs now, these ppl have been sending different ppl just to beg me and talk to me etc.. in order to make things back, but it's just not working!. Cuz I know myself.

And I am a type that, once I vex, I don't look back..even if the person has done a lot of things etc.. I have tried my best but it's just not working. And I understand the fact that there is no how there won't be argument among humans, it's not possible.

My greatest fear now is, what if I marry, is this how It will be towards my husband, someone I claim I love? Pls how do I tackle this problem before I reach that stage, pls I need sincere word of wisdom from elders, else why I come to a faceless forum to pour out my mind.

surrender to Christ Jesus the Messiah. believe wholeheartedly upon him and trust Jesus to renew your heart. ask God for the baptism of the Holy Spirit in the name of JESUS CHRIST. once you ask God to help you forgive people whom you have long standing grudges with. God will help you indeed and unforgiveness which is a sin will be a thing of the past. have a blessed day. God bless you ma

jahdoo360:
You need to ask God for a large heart that can accommodates offenses. Humans by nature are imperfect so expecting perfection is practically impossible.

Every true child of God has a large heart, because while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

She needs genuine repentance, and a baptism of the holy Spirit.

If you are a Christian pray hard and take steps to try change even if its uncomfortable. The truth is that you can't be having grudges or bitterness towards others who wronged you and still expect God to forgive your sins or answer your prayers / or accept your thanksgiving. It won't be easy to change but prayers and making conscious effort will help. It doesn't mean you have to go back to the way you were freely relating with them but don't just close your heart completely.

But in the case of marriage you have to bear lots of things, same with your spouse. It's a compromise especially if you are both really in love. Marriage is not always a bed of roses. Otherwise ready to become a divorced single mom .

Chiomatimo:
Same here I have exact behavior
Though am a male, may we kukuma marry na since we get similar character

Una marriage no go last.

If you are still like that from 2022 and now 2026 then you need to work on yourself really hard. Learn to let go of things especially for your own sanity and well being of your soul. Remember forgive those who sin against you and God will forgive you too of your sins. The Almighty God is very strict about this !

Anuoluwa12345:
Good evening, pls I need help on something
I don't even know how to put it well, but I will try my best to explain a little..and I seek sincere advice from matured and experienced ppl on the forum.

I am a type that when I love ppl, I love them wholeheartedly..to the extent that I will give in all my best to them.. be it family members or non. When I tell you I gat your back, then I truly mean it. But the problem now is, when these ppl hurt me. I don't know how to handle it, I don't even know if I will call it unforgiving spirit or maybe cause I remember things alot, I will surely not forget.

It's not as if I won't forgive them o, I will but, to make that relationship between me and that person smooth back.. it's not possible.. the distance will always be there.. tho before I get angry or pick offence it takes long, but once it happens like this! I know I have lost relationship with that soul.

Some of my relatives (extended fam) offended me, and since about 3 yrs now, these ppl have been sending different ppl just to beg me and talk to me etc.. in order to make things back, but it's just not working!. Cuz I know myself.

And I am a type that, once I vex, I don't look back..even if the person has done a lot of things etc.. I have tried my best but it's just not working. And I understand the fact that there is no how there won't be argument among humans, it's not possible.

My greatest fear now is, what if I marry, is this how It will be towards my husband, someone I claim I love? Pls how do I tackle this problem before I reach that stage, pls I need sincere word of wisdom from elders, else why I come to a faceless forum to pour out my mind.

Knowing what your weaknesses are is a good step to recovery.
Your are having spirit of unforgiviness
As a Christian God can only forgive you if you can forgive others .
Please learn to forgive quickly . It's hard , but I trust you be able to do it.
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you. If not it will destroy your marriage because your husband is likely to make u angry everyday.( Not your portion)
You need to prepare for tomorrow. God will help u.

Keme4Real:
Una marriage no go last.

Who tell you, two of us go no the feeling
Seriously

Anuoluwa12345:
Good evening, pls I need help on something
I don't even know how to put it well, but I will try my best to explain a little..and I seek sincere advice from matured and experienced ppl on the forum.

I am a type that when I love ppl, I love them wholeheartedly..to the extent that I will give in all my best to them.. be it family members or non. When I tell you I gat your back, then I truly mean it. But the problem now is, when these ppl hurt me. I don't know how to handle it, I don't even know if I will call it unforgiving spirit or maybe cause I remember things alot, I will surely not forget.

It's not as if I won't forgive them o, I will but, to make that relationship between me and that person smooth back.. it's not possible.. the distance will always be there.. tho before I get angry or pick offence it takes long, but once it happens like this! I know I have lost relationship with that soul.

Some of my relatives (extended fam) offended me, and since about 3 yrs now, these ppl have been sending different ppl just to beg me and talk to me etc.. in order to make things back, but it's just not working!. Cuz I know myself.

And I am a type that, once I vex, I don't look back..even if the person has done a lot of things etc.. I have tried my best but it's just not working. And I understand the fact that there is no how there won't be argument among humans, it's not possible.

My greatest fear now is, what if I marry, is this how It will be towards my husband, someone I claim I love? Pls how do I tackle this problem before I reach that stage, pls I need sincere word of wisdom from elders, else why I come to a faceless forum to pour out my mind.

I had the same trait 100%, but I later overcame mine.
I'm busy now, but I'll come back to this later. I sent you an email request though

Bimpe29:
A thread opened in August 2022 just made it to the front page almost 4 years later.

Having said that, you are kindly advised to be intentional and deliberate about emotional intelligence aimed at guiding your emotions. People will surely you hurt and offend you. Hence, you must be capable of not only forgive but ensure that the relationship/distance isn't cut off particularly with your closest folks.

The thread is still relevant hence it was moved to front page, timing is important.

I will be blunt with you. I dont pamper people especially online folks.

You see, that attitude of yours is BAD. as simple as ABC.

We humans are social beings for a reason. People that cross your paths in life journey will always offend you. You have to learn on how to manage them and balance your needs and societal needs too.

Soon, your husband will offend you,, your kids will, your neighbors will, your colleagues at home... the oga patapata,, your future inlaws..

Anyway, i dont know your age and financial status, cos the later will greatly influence how you manage this character of yours. but if you are poor, body will teach you more later in life.

Anuoluwa12345:
Good evening, pls I need help on something
I don't even know how to put it well, but I will try my best to explain a little..and I seek sincere advice from matured and experienced ppl on the forum.

I am a type that when I love ppl, I love them wholeheartedly..to the extent that I will give in all my best to them.. be it family members or non. When I tell you I gat your back, then I truly mean it. But the problem now is, when these ppl hurt me. I don't know how to handle it, I don't even know if I will call it unforgiving spirit or maybe cause I remember things alot, I will surely not forget.

It's not as if I won't forgive them o, I will but, to make that relationship between me and that person smooth back.. it's not possible.. the distance will always be there.. tho before I get angry or pick offence it takes long, but once it happens like this! I know I have lost relationship with that soul.

Some of my relatives (extended fam) offended me, and since about 3 yrs now, these ppl have been sending different ppl just to beg me and talk to me etc.. in order to make things back, but it's just not working!. Cuz I know myself.

And I am a type that, once I vex, I don't look back..even if the person has done a lot of things etc.. I have tried my best but it's just not working. And I understand the fact that there is no how there won't be argument among humans, it's not possible.

My greatest fear now is, what if I marry, is this how It will be towards my husband, someone I claim I love? Pls how do I tackle this problem before I reach that stage, pls I need sincere word of wisdom from elders, else why I come to a faceless forum to pour out my mind.

If you get married, you will no option than to change. Some of those rules you keep to yourself will be gone.

Nice one let me tell you your greatest fear
You will keep losing important people in your life don't forget your contact is your contract
If I can't forgive yourself, you can't forgive anyone
Remind me of my South Africa babe I leave her because of same character forget everything I buy for her or invest in the relationship, better say I lose things than one day u bath me with acid or poison me with food,
Because of unforgiven spirit,
And funny enough people like ona, ona sin or offense is way bigger than the person dat offended you, if na your own na small thing if na person own na big tin
So what am trying to say is that storing Data of offenses is Rong, my own cousin arrest me, but when him elder brother talk to me and tell me to let go, I did, and today he even dey give me contract and many benefits/ opportunities so normally this life nor get part 2
Be wise if u die today this very minutes life goes on + you - you sun go still shine and rain go still fall
He get why u go leave life reach u go automatically wise and be careful even let go sometimes because u never see life
So I pray and my prayer for you na for u to vex kill person
U will not HONDA-STAND until u learn the hard way
When u kill person and u go jail for like 20 years in prison trust me if person offend next time u go tell the person God bless u and love you
Infact reminded me of my late aunty if u step you feet on her she will tell u sorry
She has been doing it since kid I was told that
So my guy abu girl
Not let unforgiven spirit or storing of data affects your life u are still very young very young
Life is too short to hold grudges
Imagine how you pray
Imagine your debt of love
You don't know Christ
And it is written in the volume of the book
And to know the love of Christ that surpasses human comprehension
You love not with your measurements of love but his measurements
Sometimes something's are better left unsaid
But honestly I really want make u enter big trouble so u will learn the hard way, that how human is
If them learn the hard way them nor go HONDA STAND wetin unforgivable altitude does to relationship and contact
The devil will use that to weaken you weaken your faith
Give no room to the devil
If someone offend u, u work up to him or her tell him instantly and kiss them then u forget
And let go move on
But I still want you to go jail

If you treat your husband th3 same way, a female Chike will invade

Just live your life like that.
Face also whatever gain or consequences alone.

Leepeak:

Nice one let me tell you your greatest fear
You will keep losing important people in your life don't forget your contact is your contract
If I can't forgive yourself, you can't forgive anyone
Remind me of my South Africa babe I leave her because of same character forget everything I buy for her or invest in the relationship, better say I lose things than one day u bath me with acid or poison me with food,
Because of unforgiven spirit,
And funny enough people like ona, ona sin or offense is way bigger than the person dat offended you, if na your own na small thing if na person own na big tin
So what am trying to say is that storing Data of offenses is Rong, my own cousin arrest me, but when him elder brother talk to me and tell me to let go, I did, and today he even dey give me contract and many benefits/ opportunities so normally this life nor get part 2
Be wise if u die today this very minutes life goes on + you - you sun go still shine and rain go still fall
He get why u go leave life reach u go automatically wise and be careful even let go sometimes because u never see life
So I pray and my prayer for you na for u to vex kill person
U will not HONDA-STAND until u learn the hard way
When u kill person and u go jail for like 20 years in prison trust me if person offend next time u go tell the person God bless u and love you
Infact reminded me of my late aunty if u step you feet on her she will tell u sorry
She has been doing it since kid I was told that
So my guy abu girl
Not let unforgiven spirit or storing of data affects your life u are still very young very young
Life is too short to hold grudges
Imagine how you pray
Imagine your debt of love
You don't know Christ
And it is written in the volume of the book
And to know the love of Christ that surpasses human comprehension
You love not with your measurements of love but his measurements
Sometimes something's are better left unsaid
But honestly I really want make u enter big trouble so u will learn the hard way, that how human is
If them learn the hard way them nor go HONDA STAND wetin unforgivable altitude does to relationship and contact
The devil will use that to weaken you weaken your faith
Give no room to the devil
If someone offend u, u work up to him or her tell him instantly and kiss them then u forget
And let go move on
But I still want you to go jail

please take note that some closed doors are protection.

Anuoluwa12345:
Good evening, pls I need help on something
I don't even know how to put it well, but I will try my best to explain a little..and I seek sincere advice from matured and experienced ppl on the forum.

I am a type that when I love ppl, I love them wholeheartedly..to the extent that I will give in all my best to them.. be it family members or non. When I tell you I gat your back, then I truly mean it. But the problem now is, when these ppl hurt me. I don't know how to handle it, I don't even know if I will call it unforgiving spirit or maybe cause I remember things alot, I will surely not forget.

It's not as if I won't forgive them o, I will but, to make that relationship between me and that person smooth back.. it's not possible.. the distance will always be there.. tho before I get angry or pick offence it takes long, but once it happens like this! I know I have lost relationship with that soul.

Some of my relatives (extended fam) offended me, and since about 3 yrs now, these ppl have been sending different ppl just to beg me and talk to me etc.. in order to make things back, but it's just not working!. Cuz I know myself.

And I am a type that, once I vex, I don't look back..even if the person has done a lot of things etc.. I have tried my best but it's just not working. And I understand the fact that there is no how there won't be argument among humans, it's not possible.

My greatest fear now is, what if I marry, is this how It will be towards my husband, someone I claim I love? Pls how do I tackle this problem before I reach that stage, pls I need sincere word of wisdom from elders, else why I come to a faceless forum to pour out my mind.

hmmm it is good as you pour your mind, as you said it is not possible to live alone definitely you will have people by your side, but the best thing is that you have to be reserved in what you tell people about yourself. This also applies to your future Husband to be telling too much about you and when people know much about you, that is when the do called, ". see finish" as the saying goes. And when you think people know many things about if there is any small issues, you will take it beyond the expected.
Again, when you like someone too much always give that person advanced forgiveness, so even if the person offended you, you just wave it with back of your hand. This life, know one care about you much as many people think. You and only you is responsible for whatever you see or gain. so maintain your line , however try not to go too for in conversation with people, by so doing they will not offend you and by this you will easily forgive them, since their offen is not grave ones since you don't tell them much about yourself.

Forgiveness is not access to people into your life again. Good bye to relationship is not hatred. It is wisdom not to be hurt again. Be wise.

You are just like me. But I believe with time you will outgrown it. You are Taurus if I may ask ?

It might sound funny, My dear you need to repent. If you are a Christian and still have that type of feelings believe me the word of God have not really penetrated you and you lack the gift of the holy spirit.
Forgiveness opens doors (people dont understand that)

Deep yourself more into the word of God

This is due to bitterness from a deeply hurtful soul,but if you learn that forgiveness can only harm the one who refuses to let go.Learn to let go,and give your soul peace ✌️.