Please I would like to have an idea of the items that a groom to be is expected to present to the prospective bride's family in marriage introduction.

I'm from Delta State and my woman is from Ogun State.

Though she gave me a clue but I would appreciate a more comprehensive idea

Thanks as I await your contributions

Okay! Following

Tosinex:
Okay! Following

Lol...I hope we get responses from experienced members. Embarking on the journey this weekend

Hmmm, I believe you are going with your family. A few of her extended family members will also be there
Not much is expected, but go with maybe 2 baskets of fruits (different types of fruits but don't include the ones they don't eat in their family o, make sure the basket is decorated), 2 cartons of biscuits (make sure it's wrapped nicely in wrapping paper) for the children in the house, and also packets of sweets also wrapped for them..
They are the ones who have a lot to do actually, as they will have to entertain their guests.
That's basically the main thing.
Make sure there's someone in your family who can talk and make people at ease o. They will also have their own.

eyinjuege:
Hmmm, I believe you are going with your family. A few of her extended family members will also be there
Not much is expected, but go with maybe 2 baskets of fruits (different types of fruits but don't include the ones they don't eat in their family o, make sure the basket is decorated), 2 cartons of biscuits (make sure it's wrapped nicely in wrapping paper) for the children in the house, and also packets of sweets also wrapped for them..
They are the ones who have a lot to do actually, as they will have to entertain their guests.
That's basically the main thing.
Make sure there's someone in your family who can talk and make people at ease o. They will also have their own.

Wow...Thanks a lot.

victorVIC1:

Wow...Thanks a lot.

You're welcome. But ask your girl to find out from her mum what they expect you to come with in case there's more . If they say nothing, just go with the fruits, biscuits and sweets

eyinjuege:

You're welcome. But ask your girl to find out from her mum what they expect you to come with in case there's more . If they say nothing, just go with the fruits, biscuits and sweets

Ok...Noted with thanks

oga ask the wife family now....there are no general items ...

babyfaceafrica:
oga ask the wife family now....there are no general items ...

Thanks for the suggestion...I have communicated with her to discuss with her mum on the subject.

victorVIC1:

Thanks for the suggestion...I have communicated with her to discuss with her mum on the subject.

and carry your own alaga iduro/ijoko go o..make e dem n scrape your head.....this people are masters of ceremony for wedding.. they all charge u..but it is better o..the wife will have her own....get q yours

babyfaceafrica:
and carry your own alaga iduro/ijoko go o..make e dem n scrape your head.....this people are masters of ceremony for wedding.. they all charge u..but it is better o..the wife will have her own....get q yours

Lol @ alaga...I can remember she said that won't be necessary. It's just 4 family members that are going with me

victorVIC1:

Lol @ alaga...I can remember she said that won't be necessary. It's just 4 family members that are going with me

is it introduction or engagement?.... don't mind wetin she talk o.....even she won't be able to bale question you out ..if her family is bringing alaga.carry your own..I know wetin I dey talk o...those people can ask for money ooooooo..you no sabi them...if you no won carry alaga....hold plenty money then... because you go pay fine tire..

babyfaceafrica:
is it introduction or engagement?.... don't mind wetin she talk o.....even she won't be able to bale question you out ..if her family is bringing alaga.carry your own..I know wetin I dey talk o...those people can ask for money ooooooo..you no sabi them...if you no won carry alaga....hold plenty money then... because you go pay fine tire..

Its introduction, and not engagement na

eyinjuege:


Its introduction, and not engagement na

Bride price unko?

Elder0001:


Bride price unko?

Bros.... It's introduction. The bride price is sorted out during the engagement

eyinjuege:


Its introduction, and not engagement na

so you support this extortion? It's funny how we remember equality on selective items.


Men should learn to walk away from these scenes to teach some "alaga extortion" some deep lessons.

Acidosis:


so you support this extortion? It's funny how we remember equality on selective items.


Men should learn to walk away from these scenes to teach some "alaga extortion" some deep lessons.

Selective equality.

Sexism and misogyny when it doesn't favour them but tradition and co when it favours them even though the same tradition is patriarchal and primitive.

Acidosis:


so you support this extortion? It's funny how we remember equality on selective items.


Men should learn to walk away from these scenes to teach some "alaga extortion" some deep lessons.

What is extortion in buying biscuits/sweets and fruits for the people hosting you?
Are you alright at all?
Alaga simply means MC where both sides including the bride and groom have theirs. They are paid well for their jobs. The bride pays her own MC and the groom pays his own.
Stop clutching at straws here
We all pay our MCs for any event, but an MC is not needed for an introduction between families

Go with some nice bottles of wine if the father drinks. Ask your fiancée what her father likes. For the mum you can get her a gift hamper, which will cover everyone else in the house. Make sure you bring small money to gift the small children in the house if she has little siblings and I think that’s enough. Those little kids are as important as the parents. Like Eyin said you can buy them sweets and assorted biscuits separately. Don’t worry, you will do fine. It’s an informal meeting of both families.

eyinjuege:


What is extortion in buying biscuits/sweets and fruits for the people hosting you?
Are you alright at all?
Alaga simply means MC where both sides including the bride and groom have theirs. They are paid well for their jobs. The bride pays her own MC and the groom pays his own.
Stop clutching at straws here
We all pay our MCs for any event, but an MC is not needed for an introduction between families

You and I know how these alaga people f00l themselves on money matters, so stop mentioning biscuits and sweets. You're not talking to a novice. Your response "...not engagement na" shows you support the extortion

Elder0001:


Selective equality.

Sexism and misogyny when it doesn't favour them but tradition and co when it favours them even though the same tradition is patriarchal and primitive.

Lol, na so them be

baby124:
Go with some nice bottles of wine if the father drinks. Ask your fiancée what her father likes. For the mum you can get her a gift hamper, which will cover everyone else in the house. Make sure you bring small money to gift the small children in the house if she has little siblings and I think that’s enough. Those little kids are as important as the parents. Like Eyin said you can buy them sweets and assorted biscuits separately. Don’t worry, you will do fine. It’s an informal meeting of both families.

Thanks... The youngest person in her family is through with college. Like what quantity of wine do you suggest?

eyinjuege:


What is extortion in buying biscuits/sweets and fruits for the people hosting you?
Are you alright at all?
Alaga simply means MC where both sides including the bride and groom have theirs. They are paid well for their jobs. The bride pays her own MC and the groom pays his own.
Stop clutching at straws here
We all pay our MCs for any event, but an MC is not needed for an introduction between families

Could we please stop the insults as she confirmed neither of the both families will be coming with alaga. Thanks

Acidosis:


You and I know how these alaga people f00l themselves on money matters, so stop mentioning biscuits and sweets. You're not talking to a novice. Your response "...not engagement na" shows you support the extortion

Please neither of the family will be using alaga

Acidosis:


You and I know how these alaga people f00l themselves on money matters, so stop mentioning biscuits and sweets. You're not talking to a novice. Your response "...not engagement na" shows you support the extortion

Stop bringing your agro from another thread here. Stop being childish.
The person I quoted asked a question if it was introduction or engagement, and also talked about alaga.
I just gave an answer as alaga usually have no business in introduction, and the title of the thread also says introduction.
I'm not an alaga, and non of my family members are. They are paid for their job, so saying I support extortion is ridiculous. If they collect money at any point, it never ever comes to the bride's family, and goes into their own pockets. So what is my gain/motive in supporting them?
Start thinking, and Stop clutching at straws.

victorVIC1:
Please neither of the family will be using alaga

Great! I don't allow those women interfere with my events.

Acidosis:


Great! I don't allow those women interfere with my events.

They must be brutal then... I'm not aquatinted with how they operate but I heard their services are always required in the engagement

victorVIC1:

They must be brutal then... I'm not aquatinted with how they operate but I heard their services are always required in the engagement

they are not brutal just greedy..very greedy...that is why I advised the guy to carry his own to balance it..but since na introduction... no p..but engagement is a must

eyinjuege:


Stop bringing your agro from another thread here. Stop being childish.
The person I quoted asked a question if it was introduction or engagement, and also talked about alaga.
I just gave an answer as alaga usually have no business in introduction, and the title of the thread also says introduction.
I'm not an alaga, and non of my family members are. They are paid for their job, so saying I support extortion is ridiculous. If they collect money at any point, it never ever comes to the bride's family, and goes into their own pockets. So what is my gain/motive in supporting them?
Start thinking, and Stop clutching at straws.

ma'am..some alagas collect money for the brides family o....most even share all those "fines" collected on percentage with bride family

babyfaceafrica:
ma'am..some alagas collect money for the brides family o....most even share all those "fines" collected on percentage with bride family

Unless things have changed, alaga don't take collections for the bride's family. The groom is already aware of what monies are required by the family as per the list given to him
The list usually given to the groom before the engagement usually includes certain money like 2k for the wives in the family, 2k for that, bride price so so amount. That is part of the list given to the groom which includes yam, fruits, etc.
The MC (alaga) will tell them when to bring out this money, and it's usually in envelopes. That is usually part of the list given to the groom.
Now, some MCs have some gimmicks like saying before the groom and family can enter, they have to pay entrance fees and they pass a bowl round for everyone coming in to contribute. If the groom doesn't answer a question right, claim to fine him and his family and pass the bowl round again. All these money not in the list all goes to the alaga. What some families do, especially to save time and not to disturb their guests is to inform the MC to skip all unnecessary things like that since they have been paid for their job already.
There is a difference between the money already put on the list (which is in envelopes) than the one the MCs will use their "offering bowl" to collect.
I've never heard of any bride's family sharing money collected in The MCs bowl with them. The MCs will never agree to such, as they believe it's their own right. So, what a lot of people do is to ask them not to waste time with such frivolities and go down to the main business of the day. No self respecting family will encourage alaga MC to keep fining their guests, and then even have the audacity to share the money with them. That's very shameful. It may be initially funny the 1st time, by the 2nd fine it's not as funny, but the 3rd time It's no longer funny at all, and people don't have time to waste because alaga wants some extra money in her pocket. They work for you, and shouldn't serve their own agenda at your wedding.

victorVIC1:

They must be brutal then... I'm not aquatinted with how they operate but I heard their services are always required in the engagement

Don't stress yourself out about alaga.
Like normal MCs, they bring a bit of fun to the whole ceremony, like asking you to March like a soldier, do press ups with your friends, and prostrate for the bride's parents and then yours. The parents will be asked to pray for you.
You also will have your own alaga, who will make sure they don't harass you too much and you dont make mistakes for them to have a reason to fine you.
They just bring fun to the occasion really. They are MCs afterall.
Some Nigerians bring alagas to America, and UK for the wedding of their children there. It is just what It is. Both alagas on either side often times try to outdo each other so they can get referrals from other people at the ceremony. It's a time to showcase their own talent and skills as compères.

eyinjuege:


Unless things have changed, alaga don't take collections for the bride's family. The groom is already aware of what monies are required by the family as per the list given to him
The list usually given to the groom before the engagement usually includes certain money like 2k for the wives in the family, 2k for that, bride price so so amount. That is part of the list given to the groom which includes yam, fruits, etc.
The MC (alaga) will tell them when to bring out this money, and it's usually in envelopes. That is usually part of the list given to the groom.
Now, some MCs have some gimmicks like saying before the groom and family can enter, they have to pay entrance fees and they pass a bowl round for everyone coming in to contribute. If the groom doesn't answer a question right, claim to fine him and his family and pass the bowl round again. All these money not in the list all goes to the alaga. What some families do, especially to save time and not to disturb their guests is to inform the MC to skip all unnecessary things like that since they have been paid for their job already.
There is a difference between the money already put on the list (which is in envelopes) than the one the MCs will use their "offering bowl" to collect.
I've never heard of any bride's family sharing money collected in The MCs bowl with them. The MCs will never agree to such, as they believe it's their own right. So, what a lot of people do is to ask them not to waste time with such frivolities and go down to the main business of the day. No self respecting family will encourage alaga MC to keep fining their guests, and then even have the audacity to share the money with them. That's very shameful. It may be initially funny the 1st time, by the 2nd fine it's not as funny, but the 3rd time It's no longer funny at all, and people don't have time to waste because alaga wants some extra money in her pocket. They work for you, and shouldn't serve their own agenda at your wedding.

I like the part you said you have never heard.....me I have seen......and this one you said people don't want time to be wasted..that is only in Lagos and big cities....went to a wedding in eruwa Oyo state..they started engagement 3pm ended 9pm.....it is mostly people who want both engagement and white done same day hurry..if it is separate days..ma'am ..they will just elongated the thing ,you will be bored...alagas can be fun and annoying