₦airaland Forum

My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

That age, most Judges will not agree to give him custody. Especially if one is a female child.

See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter.

If she wants to leave, she can leave. He shouldn't stop her. He shouldn't tell her to leave, she's looking for excuse to go and she will do so. Every bad decision that she can take will look sweet to her.

Stop fighting her in person and start fighting that demon spiritually. It's time for prayer.

Let your brother focus on himself and the kids for now, just commit to prayer and don't give her an excuse to fight and insult him. Let him ask God to give him the grace, because now is the time to become a Head of the House. Besides, he should be taking care of his own kids

Anyone who tells your brother to deal with her, unless you have proof she's a druggie or a criminal, most Judges will not hand over children below the age of 10 to a single man, especially if one child is female. And devil can keep lying to your sister-in-law and she will take the kids away out of spite.

Yes, she'll regret it all later. But right now is not the time to fight her, report her to her family, so they can help. Yes, she will cry and wail to them that she has been "abused" and "don't you want to see me happy?!!!". Na devil. It is the same playbook for Men and women when it wants to destroy them

Onegai:
That age, most Judges will not agree to give him custody. Especially if one is a female child.

See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter.

If she wants to leave, she can leave. He shouldn't stop her. He shouldn't tell her to leave, she's looking for excuse to go and she will do so. Every bad decision that she can take will look sweet to her.

Stop fighting her in person and start fighting that demon spiritually. It's time for prayer.

Let your brother focus on himself and the kids for now, just commit to prayer and don't give her an excuse to fight and insult him. Let him ask God to give him the grace, because now is the time to become a Head of the House. Besides, he should be taking care of his own kids

Anyone who tells your brother to deal with her, unless you have proof she's a druggie or a criminal, most Judges will not hand over children below the age of 10 to a single man, especially if one child is female. And devil can keep lying to your sister-in-law and she will take the kids away out of spite.

Yes, she'll regret it all later. But right now is not the time to fight her, report her to her family, so they can help. Yes, she will cry and wail to them that she has been "abused" and "don't you want to see me happy?!!!". Na devil. It is the same playbook for Men and women when it wants to destroy them

this is very inspiring and useful. Thanks for this contribution

"See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter."
This part got my attention, and the bolded is what she always tell him.

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old. He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school. The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat. She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her. The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet. So he wants to know the possible outcome from this. Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome. Thanks in advance for your guidance

Those children also belong to your brother, and the work he is doing towards their welfare is also his to do. Insinuating that they are only for the wife to do is where he has marriage completely wrong. 🤔

Also, the government has no authority over what is described. If your brother is done with the marriage, he can file for divorce and shared custody of the children, so the woman is forced not to abandon them to him completely. This means he would need to do the same chores for his own children, but only half as often. That way, she too is forced to cater to the children when they are not with your brother. This way, the children can learn from both parents how to better care and love. I would recommend the shared option over all the others, which completely deprive the children of the love and care of the other parent. 🤔

From gtp


The exact outcome depends on the evidence, the children's welfare, and the laws in your country. In general, these are three possible outcomes:
Reconciliation and intervention: The Ministry of Social Welfare may investigate, interview both parents, speak with the children if appropriate, and recommend counseling, parenting support, or mediation to help the couple resolve the issues while keeping the family together.
Temporary separation with custody arrangements: If your brother separates from his wife and can show that he has been the primary caregiver and that living with him is in the children's best interests, a court may grant him temporary or even longer-term custody, while giving the mother visitation rights. The children's welfare is usually the court's main concern, not whether the parents are divorced.
Protective action if abuse or neglect is proven: If the investigation finds credible evidence of neglect, threats of violence, or abuse, Social Welfare may recommend protective measures. This could include supervised visitation for the mother, mandatory counselling, or other court orders to ensure the children's safety.
If your brother is seeking custody, it would help him to:
Keep records of the children's care (school runs, medical visits, expenses, etc.).
Save any messages or evidence of threats or neglect.
Cooperate fully with the Social Welfare investigation.
Consult a family lawyer to understand their legal options before taking further steps.
The court or relevant authority will generally decide custody based on the best interests of the children, rather than automatically favouring either parent.


For me

He's already doing a mother/ father's role. If he has evidence, it might go his way.

No judge will hand over kids to a non-character, irresponsible mother for the kids' safety. If your brother has enough evidence, it will go his way.

gentlesil:
"See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter."
This part got my attention, and the bolded is what she always tell him.

Have you seenbthe world we live in? The universe?

It is beautiful!! Every animal, every leaf, every planet is fearfully and wonderfully made. Stunning works of Art and Science, that is what Your Creator is.

And his opposite is truly the opposite. Not creative but cunning and lying and has studied humanity for eons, generation after generation and knows what evil seeds to plant and water, once it sees fertile soil.

Go to the Oyinbo version of Nairaland, called Reddit. You'll see White guys and women saying the same thing. Change your app to mandarin Chinese and Douyin app, you'll hear Taiwanese, Chinese men and women saying the same thing.

Nothing new, just old effective tricks.

I appreciate the comments So far, and I must say, I have also learnt something for myself, from this few responses.

I will advise him to involve the wife family in this before any other further steps so as to be clean from any other blame

Just be catching cruise here. It is part of the whole thing. So it is allowed

I would suggest he call his wife privately and talk to her calmly to know what the problem is. Releasing those kids to the man won't be easy though. May God help them to resolve their issues amicably.

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

If she doesn't listen to your brother, let him complain to the marriage sponsor. If the sponsor cannot handle it, he should complain to her family. And if it's not working, it is now left for your brother to decide on whether to continue with the marriage or not. We can't decide for him neither can your family decide for him.

BTW, how long have they been married? Was she behaving like this when she married her at the beginning of their marriage. Again, did she provide any tangible reasons for her behaviour?

Read "Anatomy of female power by Chineweizu and thank me later. Don't get caught on the web of female power, their power is silent like air. It takes a fool to be in love cos you can't be wise and still be in love, that is why the op definitely a female definitely knows that her brother is in a female web because only a female can checkmate her fellow female.

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

If he can prove that he is the best parent to take care of his children. The court will grant him custody because under the child rights act, the law looks at what’s the best for the child/children of the marriage irrespective of sex or the child or parent.

Let your brother hire a good lawyer and document everything to prove his case.

Onegai:
That age, most Judges will not agree to give him custody. Especially if one is a female child.

See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter.

If she wants to leave, she can leave. He shouldn't stop her. He shouldn't tell her to leave, she's looking for excuse to go and she will do so. Every bad decision that she can take will look sweet to her.

Stop fighting her in person and start fighting that demon spiritually. It's time for prayer.

Let your brother focus on himself and the kids for now, just commit to prayer and don't give her an excuse to fight and insult him. Let him ask God to give him the grace, because now is the time to become a Head of the House. Besides, he should be taking care of his own kids

Anyone who tells your brother to deal with her, unless you have proof she's a druggie or a criminal, most Judges will not hand over children below the age of 10 to a single man, especially if one child is female. And devil can keep lying to your sister-in-law and she will take the kids away out of spite.

Yes, she'll regret it all later. But right now is not the time to fight her, report her to her family, so they can help. Yes, she will cry and wail to them that she has been "abused" and "don't you want to see me happy?!!!". Na devil. It is the same playbook for Men and women when it wants to destroy them

Very apt and wise comment. Please can you share the signs of a married man who the devil wants to destroy as well.

Onegai:
That age, most Judges will not agree to give him custody. Especially if one is a female child.

See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter.

If she wants to leave, she can leave. He shouldn't stop her. He shouldn't tell her to leave, she's looking for excuse to go and she will do so. Every bad decision that she can take will look sweet to her.

Stop fighting her in person and start fighting that demon spiritually. It's time for prayer.

Let your brother focus on himself and the kids for now, just commit to prayer and don't give her an excuse to fight and insult him. Let him ask God to give him the grace, because now is the time to become a Head of the House. Besides, he should be taking care of his own kids

Anyone who tells your brother to deal with her, unless you have proof she's a druggie or a criminal, most Judges will not hand over children below the age of 10 to a single man, especially if one child is female. And devil can keep lying to your sister-in-law and she will take the kids away out of spite.

Yes, she'll regret it all later. But right now is not the time to fight her, report her to her family, so they can help. Yes, she will cry and wail to them that she has been "abused" and "don't you want to see me happy?!!!". Na devil. It is the same playbook for Men and women when it wants to destroy them

You wrote like someone with a deep experience in this matter. Kudos

Onegai:
That age, most Judges will not agree to give him custody. Especially if one is a female child.

See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter.

If she wants to leave, she can leave. He shouldn't stop her. He shouldn't tell her to leave, she's looking for excuse to go and she will do so. Every bad decision that she can take will look sweet to her.

Stop fighting her in person and start fighting that demon spiritually. It's time for prayer.

Let your brother focus on himself and the kids for now, just commit to prayer and don't give her an excuse to fight and insult him. Let him ask God to give him the grace, because now is the time to become a Head of the House. Besides, he should be taking care of his own kids

Anyone who tells your brother to deal with her, unless you have proof she's a druggie or a criminal, most Judges will not hand over children below the age of 10 to a single man, especially if one child is female. And devil can keep lying to your sister-in-law and she will take the kids away out of spite.

Yes, she'll regret it all later. But right now is not the time to fight her, report her to her family, so they can help. Yes, she will cry and wail to them that she has been "abused" and "don't you want to see me happy?!!!". Na devil. It is the same playbook for Men and women when it wants to destroy them

There is no devil anywhere
Her friends, another man
Or other men from her past she is comparing your brother to

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

Just do video recordings of her attitudes and post on x. You no need go far to the ministry of social welfare.

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

What brought about this sudden change in attitude?

Did your brother just lose his source of income?

gentlesil:
"See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter."
This part got my attention, and the bolded is what she always tell him.

That is what 99% of women will say. They will always blame the man

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

Nawa for marriage
Thank God for my preeq

gentlesil:
My brother has reported his wife to the ministry of social welfare because she is neglecting her role towards their three children- 9, 6, and 3 years old.
He said of late, he is the one that bath them, Wash their clothes and take them to school.
The only reason she cooks in the house sometime, is because she herself must eat.
She always lay all manner of insult on him even threaten to harm him, if he dares her.
The situation is now affecting him so much that he wants to saperate from her and ask for child custody, not divorce yet.
So he wants to know the possible outcome from this.
Please suggest one, two or three possible outcome.
Thanks in advance for your guidance

i need to hear from the woman too. because all of ona don dey mad

Onegai:
That age, most Judges will not agree to give him custody. Especially if one is a female child.

See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter.

If she wants to leave, she can leave. He shouldn't stop her. He shouldn't tell her to leave, she's looking for excuse to go and she will do so. Every bad decision that she can take will look sweet to her.

Stop fighting her in person and start fighting that demon spiritually. It's time for prayer.

Let your brother focus on himself and the kids for now, just commit to prayer and don't give her an excuse to fight and insult him. Let him ask God to give him the grace, because now is the time to become a Head of the House. Besides, he should be taking care of his own kids

Anyone who tells your brother to deal with her, unless you have proof she's a druggie or a criminal, most Judges will not hand over children below the age of 10 to a single man, especially if one child is female. And devil can keep lying to your sister-in-law and she will take the kids away out of spite.

Yes, she'll regret it all later. But right now is not the time to fight her, report her to her family, so they can help. Yes, she will cry and wail to them that she has been "abused" and "don't you want to see me happy?!!!". Na devil. It is the same playbook for Men and women when it wants to destroy them

I nod in approval to your comment.

Onegai:
That age, most Judges will not agree to give him custody. Especially if one is a female child.

See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter.

If she wants to leave, she can leave. He shouldn't stop her. He shouldn't tell her to leave, she's looking for excuse to go and she will do so. Every bad decision that she can take will look sweet to her.

Stop fighting her in person and start fighting that demon spiritually. It's time for prayer.

Let your brother focus on himself and the kids for now, just commit to prayer and don't give her an excuse to fight and insult him. Let him ask God to give him the grace, because now is the time to become a Head of the House. Besides, he should be taking care of his own kids

Anyone who tells your brother to deal with her, unless you have proof she's a druggie or a criminal, most Judges will not hand over children below the age of 10 to a single man, especially if one child is female. And devil can keep lying to your sister-in-law and she will take the kids away out of spite.

Yes, she'll regret it all later. But right now is not the time to fight her, report her to her family, so they can help. Yes, she will cry and wail to them that she has been "abused" and "don't you want to see me happy?!!!". Na devil. It is the same playbook for Men and women when it wants to destroy them

You did justice to the issue but let me tell you that the devil referred to here is -

A. Advice from her friends
B. Outrageous self esteem / no real commitment
C. Her experience with her exes
D. Declining moral virtue as a wife.

These are some of the things that shape some of their decisions, I will advice you to give her time, she may come to her senses but if she decides to leave, do not stop her.

In Nigeria, The welfare department or ministry does not have the final legal authority to determine child custody when parents disagree.

What they can do is:

Mediate between the parents and try to reach an agreement.

Investigate the child's welfare and living conditions.

Interview the parents, the child (where appropriate), and other relevant people.
Prepare reports and make recommendations.

Intervene temporarily if they believe the child is at immediate risk of abuse or neglect, subject to the law.

However, if the parents cannot agree, only a court has the authority to make a legally binding custody order. The court's primary consideration is the best interests of the child, taking into account factors such as:

The child's age and needs.

Each parent's ability to provide care.

The child's safety and welfare.

The child's wishes, if the child is old enough and sufficiently mature.

Any history of abuse, neglect, or violence.

A welfare officer's recommendation can be influential because the judge may consider it as evidence, but the court is not bound by it and may reach a different decision.

Onegai:
That age, most Judges will not agree to give him custody. Especially if one is a female child.

See, the devil has a playbook and it is the same: ain't nothing new in what he's going on. devil don enter his wife's brain and laid maggot telling her he is the cause of all her problems and it will be so much better of the marriage scatter.

If she wants to leave, she can leave. He shouldn't stop her. He shouldn't tell her to leave, she's looking for excuse to go and she will do so. Every bad decision that she can take will look sweet to her.

Stop fighting her in person and start fighting that demon spiritually. It's time for prayer.

Let your brother focus on himself and the kids for now, just commit to prayer and don't give her an excuse to fight and insult him. Let him ask God to give him the grace, because now is the time to become a Head of the House. Besides, he should be taking care of his own kids

Anyone who tells your brother to deal with her, unless you have proof she's a druggie or a criminal, most Judges will not hand over children below the age of 10 to a single man, especially if one child is female. And devil can keep lying to your sister-in-law and she will take the kids away out of spite.

Yes, she'll regret it all later. But right now is not the time to fight her, report her to her family, so they can help. Yes, she will cry and wail to them that she has been "abused" and "don't you want to see me happy?!!!". Na devil. It is the same playbook for Men and women when it wants to destroy them

You did well until you advised they continue staying together.

What if the devil that entered her brain (as you claimed) makes her forget knife in his heart if he closes his eyes to sleep?

Una dey try o. If she can't live in peace with him and oga is sure he too has gotten tired of such irresponsibility, he should seek separation ASAP.

And I assure you, such a woman wouldn't want custody as her character suggests she is pinning for someone more important than even her own children...

Madam wan go enter her new " greener pasture" and you wan dey stop her? What would any sensible person be doing with a partner who doesn't want them and even the children they had together?

Let go and have peace.

Yawo Yawo ladies here and there, though we have not heard from the woman anyway

Your brothers wife or ur wife

How can u have custody of a 3 yr old child as a man ..our courts don't permit it except ur wife is indesposed or mentally not sound..oga continue with ur house boy work did u not date her before marriage did u not see that she is lazy before bedding her..some men sha where una for they see these lowlife or were u scared to go for classy women then

What is ur biz with ur brothers wife don't u have a wife stay clear from ur brother's family

Government should ban marriage let everybody rest

If he is bathing them are they not his children or na only the wife gets them