₦airaland Forum

Chris225:
Omo 1 whole cow is expensive oo

yemmit90:
Lolz, so when you did your own, you and your people just carried battalion of guests go chop withiout dropping Kobo for bride family? We have done six weddings so far in recent time in my family, I also have so many people who has done wedding that I attended, and that is the same way all went through. The last one we did, bride father is even a rich person but the groom still gave cow, bought atires for bride parent and rented hall.

I've never seen where groom and his people will just take only dowry and bride items to weeding hall withiout contributing anything to the process on bride side.

Robertgreene1:
I don't mind converting to lslam if l don't even find better girl bro. Who religion help Religion wey be Foreigners' own not even our own sef. So be searching for me over there, while l'm searching for you down here. Whoever finds a good one first should inform the other person

yemmit90:
Cow is not included in bride list items, but he will still buy it for the bride family and get the hall for the event. He will also buy matching clothes for bride parent. These are traditions in Yoruba land. If the bride family are rich,they can forgone it on their side but if they are not, he will pay for all the expenses of the wedding on bride family.

BarrElChapo:
Go and read your comment. You said those 3 items were 4m.

With less than 100k you’ll get very sizeable 41 tubers of yam so by your calculations we’re talking 2.6m and this is an extreme amount because definitely we can get those items for way less.

ultraviolet27:
The brides parents clothes will be bought by the bride alone or the expenses be shared by the 2 couples it won't fall on the groom alone no matter how poor the groom's parents are same with the cow but if the groom wishes to buy the cow alone he won't be disuaded.

So what will the brides family now spend on their daughter? when all the expenses are shouldered by the groom?that is exploitation, greed and lack of dignity on the bride's side of the family maybe you have been meeting greedy in-laws how are they now different from the eastern side we say their marriage is expensive even there the groom don't buy the cow and almost all the brides house hold utensils and requirements for marital life are purchased by the bride's family.

ultraviolet27:
If a cow will be slaughtered in a yoruba wedding the expenses will be shared between the 2 marriage intending in-laws although the groom will carry the larger Sharee except he wants to buy it alone of his free will and it will never be included in a bride's list even the goat is of the groom's will my sister has wedded and never was a goat included in her bride price same with my brother only my sister's husband chose to provide the goat himself that bride list is from a typical slef centered osun state family not representable of the whole Yoruba bride list or maybe it's because we are ekiti sub tribe sha.

A whole cow in this economy?and even crates of maltina,five alive etc na so hunger finish them reach?when my brother was doing his wedding in 2021 the brides family didn't even include basket of fruits and asked for cow fee but it was my parents who insisted on buying fruits and also contributing larger share of the cows fee that why will they want to go take a wife for their son and won't take fruits along? they(my parents) even wanted to buy the cow alone the brides family disagreed and it wasn't as if they were even wealthy.

People should place their selves on higher pedestals not debasing theirselves by potraying their lack and hunger!

delpee:
I've never seen a cow on any Yoruba traditional wedding list. Goat, Eja Osan in some cases but a whole cow...na wa!

Grooms don't buy clothes for the brides parents to the best of my knowledge. According to our culture, the brides family hosts the event. In modern times, it's often jointly done as a cost sharing measure.

ultraviolet27:
If a cow will be slaughtered in a yoruba wedding the expenses will be shared between the 2 marriage intending in-laws although the groom will carry the larger Sharee except he wants to buy it alone of his free will and it will never be included in a bride's list even the goat is of the groom's will my sister has wedded and never was a goat included in her bride price same with my brother only my sister's husband chose to provide the goat himself that bride list is from a typical slef centered osun state family not representable of the whole Yoruba bride list or maybe it's because we are ekiti sub tribe sha.

A whole cow in this economy?and even crates of maltina,five alive etc na so hunger finish them reach?when my brother was doing his wedding in 2021 the brides family didn't even include basket of fruits and asked for cow fee but it was my parents who insisted on buying fruits and also contributing larger share of the cows fee that why will they want to go take a wife for their son and won't take fruits along? they(my parents) even wanted to buy the cow alone the brides family disagreed and it wasn't as if they were even wealthy.

People should place their selves on higher pedestals not debasing theirselves by potraying their lack and hunger!

DesireV:
Don't mind him.
In the Yoruba tradition, the bride's family are hosting their visitors (the groom and his people). Do you collect money from your visitors before giving them nice threat?
It's also seen as the celebration, honor to the bride, and appreciation to the Lord for a successful girl child upbringing. Whatever "burden" you place on the groom, you're simply saving it for the bride when the wedding is over and the marriage starts

However, in the same tradition, a visitor is expected to reciprocate the threat. Under informal agreements (not like the ones on that list), the groom and his dad would support to lighten the heavy expenses on the bride's dad. It's a mutual agreement thing, to make the day glamorous for the uniting family.

Rich families don't have these issues because, the bride's family would even find it insulting that you want to give them things they need to entertain you.

For the less priviledged families, it's a thing of mutual understanding and consideration to assume shared responsibilities. Infact, there are families where the groom's family will pick all bills (based on the situation of the bride's family) in order to have an event befitting their status.

lightwind:
Where abeg bros 🙏 connect me

Easyincome24:
Unlike what some families bill their would be son-inlaws, this lady was grateful for her family being considerable by cutting down the expenses on her bride list.

Neoteny:
Meanwhile i want to marry an igbo girl 😂

Problem with northern girl (Hausas have the culture i mentioned) is religious issues. The women are forbidden from marrying non-muslims, though the men can marry Christians and Jews.

YoshihideSuga:
But there are Northern Christians. What about those ones?

Neoteny:
The household stuff regarding the marriage is a cultural thing; the inhibitions are religious.

It's the hausa culture he was talking about, and you rarely find hausa christians.

Mind you, northern Christians who speak the hausa language are not culturally and genetically hausa.

lawani:
The bride's family will not ask for money from the groom's family to host the wedding. The relatives and friends on the bride's side will assist.

YoshihideSuga:
Okay. Understood. I'm just curious why you prefer or desire an Igbo lady for marriage as opposed to a Northern Christian lady (since religion restricts you from marrying the Muslims)? How would you describe their characteristics (Northern Christians ladies) compared to Igbo ladies?

Neoteny:
I'm a Muslim.

I love the igbo culture, and being a northener I'm already familiar with the cultures of our fellow northerners. I'm not intending to marry an igbo simply because she's a Christian, but because she's igbo.

I just want something exotic and removed from what I'm familiar with. It's like pining for an adventure in a new strange land, instead of my neck of the woods.

YoshihideSuga:
Since you're a Muslim, your best chances in finding an Igbo Muslim are in Ebonyi and parts of Enugu. Alternatively, as permitted in Islam, you could get the girl to convert to your religion. Such kinds exist in Abuja, Kaduna and Kano, especially those who were raised there.

Sorry, but you didn't answer this one:

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How would you describe their characteristics (Northern Christians ladies) compared to Igbo ladies?

Neoteny:
Thanks for the insight.

I'm not actually planning to convert her, it's her choice what she wants to practice as long as it's either Islam, Christianity, or Judaism as they're accepted in Islam.

The characteristics you asked for are relative to environment, social and economic upbringing, etc. But most northerners are outwardly conservative. That's not to say the northern Christians aren't sociable, they actually are but still retain some measure of self-restraint. Before the religious crises of the early 2000s Muslims and Christians lived together as neighbors and learned from each other with some degree of tolerance.