₦airaland Forum

Omo I get sisters oh and if any one venture brings such a man home na koboko I go use chase am.

:::



At 31 your sister is old enough to know what she wants and make a decision.


The decision isn't up to you or your mom to make. She has made her choice!

callthefred:
Education is important but doesn't define a man and his future. However, the most important is that is the man willing to develop himself or always looking to push into new grounds? Wanting to be a full time Pastor to be is just a lazy excuse for idleness. Nothing even wrong if he has no job but he's always willing and trying to get into something. Any man who isn't pushing to increase his income doesn't have business with marriage. Even if things haven't worked out for him, the fact that he has it in him to push is a very important factor that must never be overlooked.

For the bolded, I used to think it is true until a classmate gave me a contract to deliver shirts for a birthday ceremony for the governor of a South Southern State.

Education does influence the definition of a man. It's not about learning knowledge. It is about networking, psychological and social relationships when dealing with humans.

Even the billionaires who made money and dumped education are now going back to school. Some even regretted not going to school in their youthful days.

All the same, a man armed with knowledge is a man ready for change, ready for civilization/relationships and ready for the future.

In all your write up you did not mention what your sister wants. Does she even have any feeling for him?

Is she interested in the relationship at all?

At 31,she don dey tey for house o..

If the prospective husband is financially stable and mentally stable, what's the fuss?

Your sister should tone down the level of her ego and pride as it's with most ladies that age category.

All these fake stories again.

Gentlesoul2021:
Good day N'Lander

I need genuine opinions on a relationship dilemma.

My younger sister is 31 years old. She's highly educated with a master's degree, works with an NGO as a Programme Coordinator and Mental Health Counselor, and is also a skilled fashion designer with equipment worth over ₦2 million. She's hardworking, focused, and has consistently supported our family. Her job has taken her across different states, exposing her to diverse experiences and opportunities. Above all, she's deeply committed to her Christian faith.

She recently met a fellow church brother who has expressed serious interest in marrying her. However, he left school after Primary Six and works as a traditional window louvre fabricator. While there's absolutely nothing wrong with learning a trade, he has had opportunities to upgrade his skills to modern aluminium fabrication but hasn't pursued them. Instead, he seems more interested in becoming a pastor or working in a church, though he currently has no clear or realistic path to achieving that.

Another concern is the family dynamic. My mother and the young man's mother serve in the same church unit. On several occasions, whenever he goes out for a job, his mother would call him back or redirect him for other errands, and she would even mention these things to my mother. This has given us the impression that she relies heavily on him, raising concerns about the level of responsibility he already carries within his family and how that might affect his future marriage.

My mother strongly opposes the relationship, believing the gap in education, career progression, ambition, life direction, and even family expectations is too significant. I understand her concerns and tend to agree, but it also raises an important question.

Can love alone sustain a marriage when there's such a wide difference in education, ambition, exposure, career growth, and family responsibilities? Or should long-term compatibility, shared vision, emotional maturity, and the ability to build a stable future together carry more weight than love?

I'd genuinely appreciate respectful and honest opinions from both married and unmarried people. Please keep the discussion civil and objective—this isn't about looking down on anyone because of their educational background or occupation, but about understanding what truly makes a marriage work in the long run.

It appears your sister is only interested in the marriage because she is older and now has lesser suitors.

The trajectory, dynamics, expectations, and ambitions of both sides is very much different and is going to have disastrous consequences in the future.

Couples should complement and not contradict themselves. Your sister and this man clearly contradict themselves.

First, her Christian faith should be strong enough to break every yoke if she has good and likable character.

Second, she needs to go on her knees daily asking and praying for God's mercy. We can never tell where we missed it in life.

Third, she must not be desperate to marry. Hear from God speak through revelation about any relationship. If any pastor say and see a man for her, let her ask for personal confirmation from God.

Fourth, she must not adulterate herself with fornication at this dicey time. Destructive temptations exist and they stop destinies from manifesting.

Fifth, her social and faith-based networks and connections should be able to bring her to men of like minds if they observe she has unfeigned virtues that define a virtuous woman in Proverbs 31.

Above all, trust God for His signs and wonders. God will break every spiritual and human-induced delays in Jesus name.

Konjiboii:
Omo I get sisters oh and if any one venture brings such a man home na koboko I go use chase am.

Hope say all your sisters are PhD holders?

Cos my cousins are PhD holders. One of them has 3 PhDs from reputable schools in china, America and UK.

If your sisters na good girls, PM me on a dead thread.

Gentlesoul2021:
Good day N'Lander

I need genuine opinions on a relationship dilemma.

My younger sister is 31 years old. She's highly educated with a master's degree, works with an NGO as a Programme Coordinator and Mental Health Counselor, and is also a skilled fashion designer with equipment worth over ₦2 million. She's hardworking, focused, and has consistently supported our family. Her job has taken her across different states, exposing her to diverse experiences and opportunities. Above all, she's deeply committed to her Christian faith.

She recently met a fellow church brother who has expressed serious interest in marrying her. However, he left school after Primary Six and works as a traditional window louvre fabricator. While there's absolutely nothing wrong with learning a trade, he has had opportunities to upgrade his skills to modern aluminium fabrication but hasn't pursued them. Instead, he seems more interested in becoming a pastor or working in a church, though he currently has no clear or realistic path to achieving that.

Another concern is the family dynamic. My mother and the young man's mother serve in the same church unit. On several occasions, whenever he goes out for a job, his mother would call him back or redirect him for other errands, and she would even mention these things to my mother. This has given us the impression that she relies heavily on him, raising concerns about the level of responsibility he already carries within his family and how that might affect his future marriage.

My mother strongly opposes the relationship, believing the gap in education, career progression, ambition, life direction, and even family expectations is too significant. I understand her concerns and tend to agree, but it also raises an important question.

Can love alone sustain a marriage when there's such a wide difference in education, ambition, exposure, career growth, and family responsibilities? Or should long-term compatibility, shared vision, emotional maturity, and the ability to build a stable future together carry more weight than love?

I'd genuinely appreciate respectful and honest opinions from both married and unmarried people. Please keep the discussion civil and objective—this isn't about looking down on anyone because of their educational background or occupation, but about understanding what truly makes a marriage work in the long run.

Upload pics of your sister first... lets check something..

7

Namaster:
Your sister is 31-year old and DESPERATE.
She's been WAITING for a man to call her OWN for nearly a DECADE.

Plus, she's clearly one of those people born with a built-in NGO software—ALWAYS on the lookout for a project to FIX.

Add that to being CHURCHY and you have a HORRIBLE decision maker like your sister.

The "brother" is banking on the CHURCHINESS of your sister to perpetrate his SCHEME.

His declarations of becoming a "Pastor" is also a RUSE.
With that frame perfectly established from the get-go, he can use BIBLICAL platitudes like being the "head of the family" and "wives submitting to their husbands" to SCAM your sister.

She will make the money.
And be FORCED to let the SCAMMER decide how it's spent.

Your sister is about to learn a very HARSH lesson.
By the time she's done with her education, she'd have become a Single Mother of THREE at 40.

Unfortunately, there is NOTHING you can do.
Women love FORBIDDEN love.

Telling her she's making a TERRIBLE mistake will just HARDEN her resolve.
Plus, it's going to make it more DIFFICULT for her to approach you for HELP when the man INEVITABLY starts showing her PEPPER.

Also, logic will NOT work with her.
Let her LEARN.

It's only MADNESS (and DESPERATION) that'd drive a Master's Degree Holder to be UNEQUALLY YOKED with a 35+ person with ONLY Primary 6 certificate and a VAGUE forward-looking statement of becoming a Pastor.

MADNESS!

You reasons at peaks and out of the box, it has been a while I read great submission like this.

Your sister is about to get PHISHED!

A 30+ man with limited education, ancient artisanship and pastorial "calling" is nothing but a domineering, lazy and entitled gold digger. She will learn the hard way!

If you love her deeply, you should do everything in your power to sabotage that union because you'll also bear the brunt of it.

I have no problem with a man not being rich at the moment, but one thing that drives a man is ambition & focus. Any man that lacks that is a living dead and will wreck his partner.

Ambition & focus are what drive men! And clearly, your sister's suitor lacks both. A word is enough....

#Picks_tooth

Have you asked your sister reason of going into marriage with such a man .
If the reason is from their pastor .... NO
If the reason is from family pressure... NO
If the reason is not clearly stated, then know your sister has bought market.

Marriage is not do or die

Tell ur sister to enjoy her singlehood not all go marry. The red flag on the man too much, ur sister go end up becoming a punching bag.

Your sister should be the one to make decisions for herself as to whom to marry,not your mother.

Marry your sister and leave grammar!

jogojogo:
It will be in your sister's interest to avoid this dude. Not because he is financially poor but because he is visionless and directionless

A sensible man. Simple.

Story for the gods

The educational gap is too much and over Reliance by the mother will be a big issue! Your Sister should not settle for this. I believe she deserves better!

Sonnobax15:

Is your mother aware your sister has already clocked 31? .

You see this life . Funny life indeed.

A well educated man will marry a stark illiterate woman and upgrade her . But once reverse is the case, it'll look as if the whole world want of crash

Your family should be grateful to that man for at least agreeing to even settle down with someone whom menopause is already smiling at

.

You are very mean

When you see red flags but still waiting for VAR....

[quote author=Gentlesoul2021 post=139918879][/quote]Bro no gree ur sister marry that guy, he wan use am for your sister through church things and way..

Gentlesoul2021:
Good day N'Lander

I need genuine opinions on a relationship dilemma.

My younger sister is 31 years old. She's highly educated with a master's degree, works with an NGO as a Programme Coordinator and Mental Health Counselor, and is also a skilled fashion designer with equipment worth over ₦2 million. She's hardworking, focused, and has consistently supported our family. Her job has taken her across different states, exposing her to diverse experiences and opportunities. Above all, she's deeply committed to her Christian faith.

She recently met a fellow church brother who has expressed serious interest in marrying her. However, he left school after Primary Six and works as a traditional window louvre fabricator. While there's absolutely nothing wrong with learning a trade, he has had opportunities to upgrade his skills to modern aluminium fabrication but hasn't pursued them. Instead, he seems more interested in becoming a pastor or working in a church, though he currently has no clear or realistic path to achieving that.

Another concern is the family dynamic. My mother and the young man's mother serve in the same church unit. On several occasions, whenever he goes out for a job, his mother would call him back or redirect him for other errands, and she would even mention these things to my mother. This has given us the impression that she relies heavily on him, raising concerns about the level of responsibility he already carries within his family and how that might affect his future marriage.

My mother strongly opposes the relationship, believing the gap in education, career progression, ambition, life direction, and even family expectations is too significant. I understand her concerns and tend to agree, but it also raises an important question.

Can love alone sustain a marriage when there's such a wide difference in education, ambition, exposure, career growth, and family responsibilities? Or should long-term compatibility, shared vision, emotional maturity, and the ability to build a stable future together carry more weight than love?

I'd genuinely appreciate respectful and honest opinions from both married and unmarried people. Please keep the discussion civil and objective—this isn't about looking down on anyone because of their educational background or occupation, but about understanding what truly makes a marriage work in the long run.

tell your sister to run from this religion non hard working man. He will finish your sister if they married. Tell your sister to run as far as she can because she will regrets it

Sonnobax15:

Is your mother aware your sister has already clocked 31? .

You see this life . Funny life indeed.

A well educated man will marry a stark illiterate woman and upgrade her . But once reverse is the case, it'll look as if the whole world want of crash

Your family should be grateful to that man for at least agreeing to even settle down with someone whom menopause is already smiling at

That's not true, menopause is still far away. 31 is still good.
With God even nothing is impossible.

Sonnobax15:

Is your mother aware your sister has already clocked 31? .

You see this life . Funny life indeed.

A well educated man will marry a stark illiterate woman and upgrade her . But once reverse is the case, it'll look as if the whole world want of crash

Your family should be grateful to that man for at least agreeing to even settle down with someone whom menopause is already smiling at

It's in her best interest to find a high quality man. It is in her best biological interest too. Unfortunately that is the situation of life. Step up or step out. Even in the animal kingdom, male have to step up to get the female.

Gentlesoul2021:
Good day N'Lander

I need genuine opinions on a relationship dilemma.

My younger sister is 31 years old. She's highly educated with a master's degree, works with an NGO as a Programme Coordinator and Mental Health Counselor, and is also a skilled fashion designer with equipment worth over ₦2 million. She's hardworking, focused, and has consistently supported our family. Her job has taken her across different states, exposing her to diverse experiences and opportunities. Above all, she's deeply committed to her Christian faith.

She recently met a fellow church brother who has expressed serious interest in marrying her. However, he left school after Primary Six and works as a traditional window louvre fabricator. While there's absolutely nothing wrong with learning a trade, he has had opportunities to upgrade his skills to modern aluminium fabrication but hasn't pursued them. Instead, he seems more interested in becoming a pastor or working in a church, though he currently has no clear or realistic path to achieving that.

Another concern is the family dynamic. My mother and the young man's mother serve in the same church unit. On several occasions, whenever he goes out for a job, his mother would call him back or redirect him for other errands, and she would even mention these things to my mother. This has given us the impression that she relies heavily on him, raising concerns about the level of responsibility he already carries within his family and how that might affect his future marriage.

My mother strongly opposes the relationship, believing the gap in education, career progression, ambition, life direction, and even family expectations is too significant. I understand her concerns and tend to agree, but it also raises an important question.

Can love alone sustain a marriage when there's such a wide difference in education, ambition, exposure, career growth, and family responsibilities? Or should long-term compatibility, shared vision, emotional maturity, and the ability to build a stable future together carry more weight than love?

I'd genuinely appreciate respectful and honest opinions from both married and unmarried people. Please keep the discussion civil and objective—this isn't about looking down on anyone because of their educational background or occupation, but about understanding what truly makes a marriage work in the long run.

your is already 31, she is fast approaching menopause. That she is well educated doesn't mean she is an excellent person. If she has wonderful qualities, she should have been married by now.
Also, the man coming to marry her is actually what she can attract.

Last, the way you are outing her qualifications means your family might not respect any man that's not up to their fantasy standard. Even if you guys still reject this man, I believe whomever will eventually marry your sister will suffer in your hands.

TheStoriesOfMan:
That marriage will not work.

No woman will be loyal to a man she's better than. Can't you see that?

Your sister must continue to search for a man that is better than her, be able to guide her, and be able to steer the family to greater heights.

A man who doesn't have education, skills, intelligence, foresight, will, preserverance and psyche to marry or take care of a woman will be the downfall of himself and those around him.

Enough said!

I support this. Women naturally go for men who are far better in almost of component of life to them.

If the man had been educated to university/polytechnic level and more ambitious, may this can work but mehn.. I would just say the man go for someone at his standard, sorry to say.

Same goes to men and never to settle for a lady who cannot match up to their level of education, personality, goals and other things in life

Love is not enough to sustain a marriage, pls have you spoke to your sister about it?
At least to know if that's what she truly want?

Never marry out of pity

Gentlesoul2021:
Good day N'Lander

I need genuine opinions on a relationship dilemma.

My younger sister is 31 years old. She's highly educated with a master's degree, works with an NGO as a Programme Coordinator and Mental Health Counselor, and is also a skilled fashion designer with equipment worth over ₦2 million. She's hardworking, focused, and has consistently supported our family. Her job has taken her across different states, exposing her to diverse experiences and opportunities. Above all, she's deeply committed to her Christian faith.

She recently met a fellow church brother who has expressed serious interest in marrying her. However, he left school after Primary Six and works as a traditional window louvre fabricator. While there's absolutely nothing wrong with learning a trade, he has had opportunities to upgrade his skills to modern aluminium fabrication but hasn't pursued them. Instead, he seems more interested in becoming a pastor or working in a church, though he currently has no clear or realistic path to achieving that.

Another concern is the family dynamic. My mother and the young man's mother serve in the same church unit. On several occasions, whenever he goes out for a job, his mother would call him back or redirect him for other errands, and she would even mention these things to my mother. This has given us the impression that she relies heavily on him, raising concerns about the level of responsibility he already carries within his family and how that might affect his future marriage.

My mother strongly opposes the relationship, believing the gap in education, career progression, ambition, life direction, and even family expectations is too significant. I understand her concerns and tend to agree, but it also raises an important question.

Can love alone sustain a marriage when there's such a wide difference in education, ambition, exposure, career growth, and family responsibilities? Or should long-term compatibility, shared vision, emotional maturity, and the ability to build a stable future together carry more weight than love?

I'd genuinely appreciate respectful and honest opinions from both married and unmarried people. Please keep the discussion civil and objective—this isn't about looking down on anyone because of their educational background or occupation, but about understanding what truly makes a marriage work in the long run.

Singles pay attention. If you are a lady and you want to marry a guy your father doesn't approve of it, watch out. That marriage, if you go ahead with it, 90% chance that it won't work.

This is applicable to guys as well. If your mother frawn at the lady you want to marry, watch out.

Gentlesoul2021:
…

Your sister gbadun the guy ?? Or is the guy forcing himself on your sister..:: talk true Abeg….

Gentlesoul2021:
Are u saying just because time is not on her side and with the aforementioned, my sister should goto where she will be footing the bill 100%...

Apparently, you tried so hard to hide your real mindset or perspective of the whole scenario, waiting for all commenters to tell you that the 'poor guy' should go and find his class elsewhere and should avoid trying to become liability on your family's breadwinner....if you like, say, I didn't get you clearly, na u sabi

Back to your question, you were able to hide the fact that your sister is in love with the guy too and willing to marry him in the whole texts you sent in but some of us are so sensitive to take note of that.

Firstly, someone that has used 31 good years on earth, either with so much experience in relationship or just 'one' serious one, the distance you should give her in make decision for her own future should be huge...someone that took courses to earn masters should have undergone some trainings on how (processes) to make personal and professional decisions to a great extent, rest assured...th point here is, don't CONFUSE her with your unsubscribed private investigation and in case she employed you to help her do research on this, be careful of the advice/recommendation you eventually sell to her.

Rounding off, there are some vital components you need to work on, before giving your advice to her and I summarized thus:
1. Who is that guy? yeah, her potential husband in your story....what is his personality? Is he a social person? Does he relate decently and moderately? Is he a good man by the surface or he truly possesses good heart? Is he relatively acceptable by a large portion of their church? Those are the basic things you need to help your sister find out about him...
2. Your sister, is she comfortable around the guy, is there any chemistry between them, do they truly love themselves or the love is conditional? She should search her heart and be sincere with herself
3. Can she cope/afford to respect and love him all the time of their life, even at points in time when break up offers come to tempt them?(ma go, na dat one sure pass)
4. Then, what are the tendencies of healing him to improve his present job for sustainability, me I don't see clergy as a profession, I see it as a spiritual call...so, seeing it as a future job is an error, they need to sort that out before going into marriage, Jesus will call him when He needs him
5. Tell your mum to rely on you and your sister's decision on this because she will always be bias in this situation until the Sunday that the guy will come to the church in a brand new jeep for testimony...trust me

Gentlesoul2021:
Are u saying just because time is not on her side and with the aforementioned, my sister should goto where she will be footing the bill 100%...

Are you the one getting married? What is your sister's decision?