₦airaland Forum

A Nigerian man has ignited conversations on social media after revealing the list of items his family was asked to provide by one of his village groups following the death of his mother.

The man, Emeka Nobis, disclosed that he and his brother recently attended meetings in their mother's village as part of the traditional burial process. According to him, they met separately with three groups: the Umunna (men of the kindred), Umuada (women of the kindred), and Alurudi (women married into the kindred).

He explained that each group presented its own set of requirements before the burial rites could proceed. Nobis shared one of the lists online, showing numerous food items and refreshments expected to be provided for members of the group.

The post quickly attracted widespread reactions, with many Nigerians questioning why grieving families should face such financial obligations while mourning the loss of a loved one.

Reflecting on the experience, Nobis revealed that his mother died at the age of 71 after a prolonged battle with cancer that had already cost the family millions of naira in medical expenses. Because of her age, he said she was classified under the highest burial category in his community, with the family also expected to provide a cow as part of the traditional rites.

Despite the demands, he said he and his brother have chosen to approach the discussions calmly while engaging community leaders in constructive conversations.

Sharing the reason behind making the experience public, Nobis wrote that he wanted to document the realities of traditional burial practices in his part of Igboland, prepare others who may one day go through a similar process, and encourage conversations about reforming customs that place heavy financial burdens on bereaved families.

"Culture can be modified. It's left to us to challenge these practices as years go by. I'm pretty sure that it definitely will happen," he wrote.

His post has since sparked a broader debate online, with many arguing that some traditional burial practices should be reviewed to reduce the financial and emotional burden on grieving families, while others maintained that cultural customs should be preserved but adapted to reflect present-day economic realities.

SOURCE
https://www.reportnaija.ng/2026/07/bereaved-son-sparks-debate-after.html

CREMATE the body and blow the ASHES into the GREEDY forkers faces.

They want to hide behind culture to EXTORT people who should be allowed to MOURN in peace.

We have succeded in monetizing every aspect of our lives.
Marriage, child naming, birthday(girls especially) , burials(anambra) etc.

Imagine if they could impose that kind amount of money on a dead body,you can imagine how theur marriage list and requirements will look like

Not that they'll even assist the children in any way . But be looking for ways to bill the hell out of the children.

Truth is that burial of love one in eastern part of Nigeria is expensive and I keep wondering how will people that are not financially capable cope.

We buried my late mom in 2024,and the demands that each village groups and even the church,CWO were demanding was atrocious. All this demands runs into millions of naira and this is apart from the foods and drinks you will serve them on that day and when the ceremony ends the money these groups will contribute to your family is peanut.

Thank God, we gave them what they want and everyone of them ate and drank to their fill without no complain.

All and all, anyone who wants to bury their love should do so according to their means not imposing so much demands all in the name of tradition.

When I see those stupid villagers, I just feel like throwing a bomb on them

Burial list bawo?

See ehn, if you are not Igbo, you don't know what God has done for you.

Just be thanking God for your good fortune.

Na una get money to waste. Na una send them

Absolute Nonesense

It's what i just said on the other thread. Something is fundamentally wrong with our values. This same thing you think is culture also happens in many churches. Dem go exploit your destiny like ExxonMobil dey find oil.

I f the person that passe no come get children, wetin go happen.

Will the list bring back the dead omo na Una get money. Bury person wey Una wan bury nothing dey happen na fear fear dem make dem dey exploit us. The dead is gone he no dey see anything n he no go do u anything

This is a culture centered around money. A culture that prioritizes the human over money won’t give atrocious lists at every occasion they get; you already have those hunger-eradication lists at weddings, now you have a more ridiculous food-centered list at your burials. Always money, always meeting thé demands of the belly. God help you all.

Really? Would you cremate your loved one for this purpose?

It's two things...best not to marry from there or like the OP said, navigate it with emotional intelligence. These people are not as hard as they appear...if u no get mind, dem fit wreck you.

Another thing is that most people abandon their "homes" until unfortunate events like these so the villagers see it as "payback time"

A friend went through this but luckily he had good standing with the youth of his village...these youth held the so-called elders and traditions deemed excessive and unnecesary at bay and dude was able to do the butial and leave.

Namaster:
CREMATE the body and blow the ASHES into the GREEDY forkers faces.

They want to hide behind culture to EXTORT people who should be allowed to MOURN in peace.

One greedy man will start a practice, his family will copy it, it spreads to their neighbors and the whole community. This will now be taken as "our culture"😏. Milk, Milo, rice, malt, beer and some of those things are not "traditional materials", they were brought by the white man, how "white men goods" became part of traditional lists is something that needs serious investigation💔😡

Though I'm not in support of such demands, but your parents were also partakers of it during other people's burial

These people are greedy

I don't care what anyone wishes to think or say. As far as I'm concerned, that culture is crazy, criminal, and barbaric. Even more worrisome is that it is driven by poverty and greed. If he chooses to bury his late mother without giving them anything, what can or would they do?

Not just the village ...church is also involved in this extortion...not pentecostal ooo.. Catholic and Anglican... they will request for the tithe , the late person dint pay all thru their lifetime in their church. Even if u tell them the person paid tithe in another branch of the church, they wudnt accept it....the will request for levies the person dint pay , the donations the person dint donate...if u dont do it ,the church will not bury the person ...

Village and church demands gulps millions of naira ...some 5m some 7m depending on their demands ... the richer the person was, or if there is a rich member in the family , the more demands ... tgey will charge for meetings the late person failed to attend and also add the children fees that failed to attend meetings...

What happens if you don’t pay?

How do poor people like Okada men etc bury their loved ones?

These people and money in the name of culture.

This is extortion..it was not so from the beginning

Okoyeeboz:
See ehn, if you are not Igbo, you don't know what God has done for you.

Just be thanking God for your good fortune.

Bigot has spoken.

You mean it's not God that created igbos or what?

An opportunity for bigotry has come up, lick it and belleful

I see nothing here, the dead also enjoyed from other people's own...

So it must go on...
E be like osusu, them don contribute for her, na time for her to contribute for another person

Nobody is surprised. It’s their generational inherited culture of money, money, money

IamPatriotic:
I don't care what anyone wishes to think or say. As far as I'm concerned, that culture is crazy, criminal, and barbaric. Even more worrisome is that it is driven by poverty and greed. If he chooses to bury his late mother without giving them anything, what can or would they do?

Relax yourself bitter soul..
This doesn't seems like it applies to everyone that Díe, I think it's a for some age group, people that have title... I'm from delta state, e get some age group wey go d!e, the tradition abi culture go demand some things and mostly this doesn't apply to Christians but traditional people.... Beside them do am for another person own, na there turn to do for another person..
Don't be too bitter

Na Una no wan be Muslims na

Jamesclooney:
What happens if you don’t pay?

How do poor people like Okada men etc bury their loved ones?

His okada association will have to contribute... thontgey dont charge those ones as much... as i said ,charges depends on ur family financial level

It makes sense to be an Ibo Muslim.

cr7lomo:
Not just the village ...church is also involved in this extortion...not pentecostal ooo.. Catholic and Anglican... they will request for the tithe , the late person dint pay all thru their lifetime in their church. Even if u tell them the person paid tithe in another branch of the church, they wudnt accept it....the will request for levies the person dint pay , the donations the person dint donate...if u dont do it ,the church will not bury the person ...

Village and church demands gulps millions of naira ...some 5m some 7m depending on their demands ... the richer the person was, or if there is a rich member in the family , the more demands ... tgey will charge for meetings the late person failed to attend and also add the children fees that failed to attend meetings...

All the dues you did not pay must be paid that day and because of all these things, people now have friends committee for funeral. We need a culture revolution.

Savageman247:
A Nigerian man has ignited conversations on social media after revealing the list of items his family was asked to provide by one of his village groups following the death of his mother.

The man, Emeka Nobis, disclosed that he and his brother recently attended meetings in their mother's village as part of the traditional burial process. According to him, they met separately with three groups: the Umunna (men of the kindred), Umuada (women of the kindred), and Alurudi (women married into the kindred).

He explained that each group presented its own set of requirements before the burial rites could proceed. Nobis shared one of the lists online, showing numerous food items and refreshments expected to be provided for members of the group.

The post quickly attracted widespread reactions, with many Nigerians questioning why grieving families should face such financial obligations while mourning the loss of a loved one.

Reflecting on the experience, Nobis revealed that his mother died at the age of 71 after a prolonged battle with cancer that had already cost the family millions of naira in medical expenses. Because of her age, he said she was classified under the highest burial category in his community, with the family also expected to provide a cow as part of the traditional rites.

Despite the demands, he said he and his brother have chosen to approach the discussions calmly while engaging community leaders in constructive conversations.

Sharing the reason behind making the experience public, Nobis wrote that he wanted to document the realities of traditional burial practices in his part of Igboland, prepare others who may one day go through a similar process, and encourage conversations about reforming customs that place heavy financial burdens on bereaved families.

"Culture can be modified. It's left to us to challenge these practices as years go by. I'm pretty sure that it definitely will happen," he wrote.

His post has since sparked a broader debate online, with many arguing that some traditional burial practices should be reviewed to reduce the financial and emotional burden on grieving families, while others maintained that cultural customs should be preserved but adapted to reflect present-day economic realities.

SOURCE
https://www.reportnaija.ng/2026/07/bereaved-son-sparks-debate-after.html

This story keeps repeating itself all over Igboland and it's always the same pattern — a family already drained by hospital bills now has to source a cow and feed three different groups before they can bury their own mother in peace. Nobody is saying we should throw away tradition, but there's a difference between honoring culture and using grief as leverage to extract money from people who have no choice but to comply.

What gets me is the "highest burial category because she was 71" part. So the older and more accomplished your parent was, the more it costs you to mourn them? That's backwards. If anything, elders who lived long, full lives should be celebrated without their children going into debt for it.

Credit to Nobis and his brother for handling it calmly instead of blowing up at the village — that's actually how change happens. You can't reform a system by fighting the people who administer it; you reform it by being in the room, year after year, until "we've always done it this way" stops being a good enough answer. Culture isn't static, it's just slow. Someone has to start the conversation, and he just did.