₦airaland Forum

Not fixing his children in military academy when he had the opportunity to do so , being friend with a former president whom was a serving president as at then but instead he choose flexing around the world together.

On the issue of polygamy, it's until you get to that stage you will understand why he had to marry another.
The older a woman gets, the less sexually appealing and tight she is down there.

Men don't like to open up about that part.
And In the first place, men marry for sex.

Deeprooted:
For me it's practicing polygamy.

My fellow men, by all means possible, I will not toll that part due to the level of division in our family which became more pronounced after my Dad passed on.


Polygamy, no matter how the children claim to love themselves, deep down there's division.

I don't want my children to experience what I experienced in a polygamous family.

Let's have yours

And you overlook your mama mistake. Is it because it's not that serious

My father's terrible mistake I will never repeat include becoming a Christian missionary and moving every 4 years with his family for missionary work, plus not buying lands in and around FCT when he had the means and chance.
Plus procrastinating the need to establish his wife financially, thinking he'd always be around and capable.

Beating my mother at any slightest mistake

Marrying two wives
He did exceptional well with everybody
Everybody got what they wanted and deserves.
But human greed is insatiable
They still hate and kill him for property wey no reach anybody share....
I don kukuma leave property for dem to keeeee these over.

BUT MY FATHER WAS AN ANGEL IN HUMAN BODY....
HE DID WELL EXCEPT FOR THE TWO WIVES THING

My father was a very religious nice and kind man, he was very kind to many people, helped many family members, gave out his landed properties to many people, paid off debts for many people. But when he was sick and diying none of these people came to help him.


So i don't want to be like my father, i am, will alway be and will continue to be an unreligious selfish wicked, evil and nasty man that i am. I ain't helping no one, not family members financially or otherwise.

SirCloudControl:
On the issue of polygamy, it's until you get to that stage you will understand why he had to marry another.
The older a woman gets, the less sexually appealing and tight she is down there.

Men don't like to open up about that part.
And In the first place, men marry for sex.

Sorry, did you just say
Men marry for sex.....??
You cannot be a Man, you must be a woman
Only women reason this way about men.

Amalekki:
Poor financial education.

He made money easily as someone that maximized his 24 hours but he was fond of spending part of his business capital to solve other people's endless problems. So he was always starting afresh as a single tree when he could have grown into a forest.

You described my late father ( may his gentle soul rest in Peace! Amen .) characteristics in your second paragraph. He was the eldest and assumed father fiqure to all his immediate family including cousins . He supported all of them both financially and otherwise in good faith, he was assisting them because despite servings about four masters,non settled him ,out of frustration and pressure he have to took risks to breakthrough. May pains is that many of those he helped including his brother betrayed or distanced him when he needed them most at his old and fragile time before his death.
Mistake he made out of love was trying to assist his extended family members without investigating much for the future.
I must channel 70% of my wealth to my family first.

femi4:
Building house in the village first when no one lives there

Ns retirement plan

Deeprooted:
For me it's practicing polygamy.

My fellow men, by all means possible, I will not toll that part due to the level of division in our family which became more pronounced after my Dad passed on.


Polygamy, no matter how the children claim to love themselves, deep down there's division.

I don't want my children to experience what I experienced in a polygamous family.

Let's have yours

1- I’ll never marry two wives! With this current germ of women, that’s the easiest way to kick bucket!

2- i’ll never marry for love! Rather i’ll marry for compatibility most importantly financial stability

3- My wife and children will be my only family.

Ohhhhhhh
Lovely point

First time am seeing good words from nairalanders

As for me

I will never made the mistake of marry two wives

My father did then

And now the properties me and my sister are to share alone is meant for the other wife's children he married..

My father was so obsessed with the
Second coming of Christ, there
Fore, there was no need to make
Worldly wealth.
I had to extricate myself
From such level of Religious
Naivety and shallow mindedness

Deeprooted:
For me it's practicing polygamy.

My fellow men, by all means possible, I will not toll that part due to the level of division in our family which became more pronounced after my Dad passed on.


Polygamy, no matter how the children claim to love themselves, deep down there's division.

I don't want my children to experience what I experienced in a polygamous family.

Let's have yours

Womanizing, don't Womanize , no matter how rich you are and how affordable it is for you, don't, e get why

gigabyte13:
Marrying two wives
He did exceptional well with everybody
Everybody got what they wanted and deserves.
But human greed is insatiable
They still hate and kill him for property wey no reach anybody share....
I don kukuma leave property for dem to keeeee these over.

BUT MY FATHER WAS AN ANGEL IN HUMAN BODY....
HE DID WELL EXCEPT FOR THE TWO WIVES THING

Nice words I picked your point though

Read everything and I am so afraid of marriage right now

Deo1986:
Marrying early with meager allowance as a police officer in the 70s and 80s
The man struggled real hard to keep his family of six together.
In the end he died broke and exhausted.

You guys exhausted him 😂

Dghold:
Ns retirement plan

Its a wrong order

Take care of today, plan for tomorrow

Build where you live first

Samantha125:
This is just an advise to all the single present fathers out there... Never marry a single mother who expects you to love and accept her children from a previous relationship, relationships, or even marriage while she hates yours.

Reason I'm saying this is because my uncle made that mistake, he has two children from his two previous relationships, even though the children remained under the custody of their mothers who have long moved on and got married after parting ways with him, the two children still maintained a close relationship with their father, my uncle... His wife never liked them and would literally call some family members crying about how my uncle seems to love and have more time for his biological children than hers despite him trying his best considering how her first born was already an adult while the second born was a teenager during the time they got married.

This past Saturday we laid our grandmother to rest and the children attended the funeral service and even stayed throughout the after tears party, but my uncle's wife kept giving them a cold shoulder throughout the day... Mind you, the children are now adults fending for themselves and never meddled in their father's love life... So if you're a present loving single father, never make that mistake of settling down with a single mother who detests your children.

A single mother normally loves her her love-child more than the ones she has in her marriage,let alone the children of another woman.
Single mother's child(ren) are called love-children for a reason.

Not acquiring even a single plot of land in the city of Port Harcourt where we were all born.

Not following up/monitor or concern about his children education

Not doing anything reasonable for especially female children who has now become my burden.

gigabyte13:
Marrying two wives
He did exceptional well with everybody
Everybody got what they wanted and deserves.
But human greed is insatiable
They still hate and kill him for property wey no reach anybody share....
I don kukuma leave property for dem to keeeee these over.

BUT MY FATHER WAS AN ANGEL IN HUMAN BODY....
HE DID WELL EXCEPT FOR THE TWO WIVES THING

Marrying the second wife is the issue here right, but you wouldn't have been born if he hadn't done so cus your mom happened to be the second wife he should have avoided.. Smh what a life!!

My father didn't make any mistake.

I am the one who failed myself.

Teymanhenry:
Succession Planning and Will Writing

My dad doesn’t believe in writing a will or clearly stating how he wants his assets and responsibilities to be handled after his death. He is still alive, and I have advised him a few times to consider writing a will, but he simply won’t listen.

My concern is that all his children are now married, and I already know that if he dies without a clear plan, my eldest brother’s wife could cause serious confusion that may eventually affect the relationship among all of us.

At the moment, she practically controls their home, and my brother is answerable to her on almost everything. She also has a competitive nature, even when there is no competition, especially with her co-wives and in-laws.

Now imagine my dad passes away without a will, and we all have to sit down as a family to decide what happens to his assets and responsibilities. The eldest son will naturally be expected to anchor the meetings and become a key decision-maker in the family.

With the kind of dynamics we already have, I can only imagine the level of disagreement and division that could follow.

Sometimes, writing a will isn’t about expecting death. It is about preventing confusion, protecting relationships, and making your wishes clear while you are still alive.

Concentrate more on the concerns in your husband's house and let him write his will for his children while he's still alive.
Let your Dad worry about his.
A truly happily married woman won't really have time for such thoughts.

Gotocourt:
My step mother had a child from her previous escapade and never told my father till his demise. We later knew, same woman ran with with all asset documents. She was bandit . Had to fight to recover some of those documents and still on it after a decade.
Single mother have experience hardship all alone and never had love which makes them a red flag 🚩.

All of them get same (red flag) trade mark.

Teymanhenry:
Succession Planning and Will Writing

My dad doesn’t believe in writing a will or clearly stating how he wants his assets and responsibilities to be handled after his death. He is still alive, and I have advised him a few times to consider writing a will, but he simply won’t listen.

My concern is that all his children are now married, and I already know that if he dies without a clear plan, my eldest brother’s wife could cause serious confusion that may eventually affect the relationship among all of us.

At the moment, she practically controls their home, and my brother is answerable to her on almost everything. She also has a competitive nature, even when there is no competition, especially with her co-wives and in-laws.

Now imagine my dad passes away without a will, and we all have to sit down as a family to decide what happens to his assets and responsibilities. The eldest son will naturally be expected to anchor the meetings and become a key decision-maker in the family.

With the kind of dynamics we already have, I can only imagine the level of disagreement and division that could follow.

Sometimes, writing a will isn’t about expecting death. It is about preventing confusion, protecting relationships, and making your wishes clear while you are still alive.

He might have written without wanting to inform you.

You will know after his passing.

Omor the experiences here are really touching, just have to thank God for my dad who's really perfect in my eyes.

WHAT WERE YOUR MOTHER'S MISTAKES?

Every human being is imperfect, but women have unfortunately managed to push the foul and malicious view that ONLY MEN are imperfect. We know that WOMEN ARE MORE LIABLE TO ERR due to their emotional and sometimes irrational response to stimuli, a trait always tolerated by men.

It is irritating to hear feminised boys carrying on the emotional blackmail as if their fathers are devils for doing their best to raise a family under conditions of strenous economic conditions and constant blackmail from an often ungrateful and quarrelsome woman that is over 90% likely to poison his kids against him.

Deeprooted:
For me it's practicing polygamy.

My fellow men, by all means possible, I will not toll that part due to the level of division in our family which became more pronounced after my Dad passed on.


Polygamy, no matter how the children claim to love themselves, deep down there's division.

I don't want my children to experience what I experienced in a polygamous family.

Let's have yours

Unclebayo:
I’m 22 and the last time I heard from my dad was when I was 5, he is alive even in same state as my mom but only calls anytime he felt guilty (1 time in 4 years)

And that one time he calls he won’t even ask about my well being

He will be like , what level are you now( for tuition fee my mom is paying lol)

I’ve blocked him and I don’t want him anymore in my life

You are quite young and yet naive going by your choice of words.
Ask for a meet with your dad and don't fully rely on what ya mum told you about him.
Get close to your Dad as a guy, you'll learn one or four from it.

Running from responsibilities

But not all of them are like that, let's not generalise... There are some men who also hate and discriminate against their step children.

tiswell:
A single mother normally loves her her love-child more than the ones she has in her marriage,let alone the children of another woman.
Single mother's child(ren) are called love-children for a reason.

gigabyte13:
Sorry, did you just say
Men marry for sex.....??
You cannot be a Man, you must be a woman
Only women reason this way about men.

Marrying for sex Is a fact

YoungLionken:
Polygamy is not the problem. The problem is lack of control and organization. Even the Bible says "train up a child.." It didn't state monogamy or polygamy..

Before you argue, have you not seen brothers and/or sisters of same parents tear each other up? The high rate of divorce today (home and away), is it not from monogamous homes? The Oni of Ife was initially monogamous and he was divorced, since he embraced polygamy, have you heard about such nonsense from his women again? Check polygamous men and how quiet their women are and compare with the monogamous loudmouths online, with some of them even bragging about how they dealt with their (monogamous) men..

There's no kind of problem you would hang on polygamy that you would not find in monogamy. It simply depends on the roles of the patriarch of the house.

Men (common with our fathers) always fail to be there to emotionally connect, unite and be there for their children when it matters. They just believe providing is all there is, nothing else. That's why four out of every five children of our typical African homes HARDLY have any emotional memory of our fathers, it was more of fathers being strict almost every time. But our generation of men are gradually changing that narrative as we play more with our kids now, be there for them on their graduation days, sport tournaments, vacation, etc. A rare privilege, many of us didn't get with our fathers while under them..

Everyone will walk their paths according to their unique experience; Some children from the so called monogamous homes would immediately start fighting over properties their father left, but they never for once fought for who will take care of the man when he was around and sick. Or is it when the wayward first son starts selling the inheritance as cheap articles with nothing tangible to show after sometime? My personal experience while growing up made me realize that You can have a good mother, who is not a good wife to your father...

Your last sentence shows you are a true son of ya Father 👍