₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
Leave us be abeg. Don't do this, don't do that, blah blah.
Abeg koshi danu ke geddifok

Ara agbala Ishi Love

@ bolded show saw you don fight with conductor before

My wife does all these things except that sex idea part, but I'm still the spice of my marriage. And I only hang out with friends almost never without her by my side.

Ishilove:
Leave us be abeg. Don't do this, don't do that, blah blah.

Biko carry your advice to the men. They are not babies. They too should keep in shape and look good for us, abi we sef no sabi beta tin?

Abeg koshi danu ke geddifok

Looking good is actually in your best interest. It goes without even saying it🤦‍♀️

Ishilove:
They are always doing lists for women as if the men are gods who cannot abide by lists too. Yeye and ingredients

it should be you women doing the list of what you expect from men… a man cant know what a woman wants for real… but hey trying to play victim about it also works ….so u are good

This forum is for Nigerian not for South African. Don't you guys have your own forum ?

Samantha125:
1. This is probably coming from someone with a beer belly, unfit men have high chances of kicking the bucket during shaboinky than women... And last time I checked, some of your gender forbade their women from going to the gym.

2. When we dress well, some of your insecured gender would be suspecting us of having extramarital affairs, they'd prefer us looking unattractive instead.

3. The moment we reduce the financial conversations at home, better believe that we'll talk about them elsewhere with someone attentive.

4. It's fine, we'll keep the house peaceful and find someone outside with an active listening skill to listen to our hearts' desires.

5. Cooking is an essential life skill that everyone show know, because a way to everyone's hearts is through their stomachs... No one wants to starve to death.

6. The moment we come up with new ideas to spice things up in the bedroom, some of your gender would be suspecting us of having extramarital affairs, or of being retired ladies of the night.

7. We will spend our own money given that you wouldn't be asking us questions the moment we start buying ourselves a variety of designer clothes and going on girls' weekend getaways.

8. You can hangout with your friends for as long as you like, it'll give us some time to also hangout with our own friends and do some self exploration.

9. Having time for each other should be reciprocatory.

10. We should all stop checking each other's phones.

MY JOB HERE IS DONE!!!!

So, wetin the man go do

The rest I m doing...except number 3 and 8.
A man must take care of the home...so monetary talks must arise.
Yes ....I take my husband's calls .

Ishilove:
Leave us be abeg. Don't do this, don't do that, blah blah.

Biko carry your advice to the men. They are not babies. They too should keep in shape and look good for us, abi we sef no sabi beta tin?

Abeg koshi danu ke geddifok

Lazy woman identified...

E wo, everybody go dey alright.

Ishilove:
Leave us be abeg. Don't do this, don't do that, blah blah.

Biko carry your advice to the men. They are not babies. They too should keep in shape and look good for us, abi we sef no sabi beta tin?

Abeg koshi danu ke geddifok

God abeg oo

AlabiKILLER2023:
Hole wey don push out picking na rubbish


Do married men enjoy sexxx
Or they're just managing

This statement is so disgusting and I'm not sorry to say. The hole which push out YOUR child as turn to rubbish now?

Some people senses are upside down aswear, na waka you dey use am waka not reasoning

koladata:
This forum is for Nigerian not for South African. Don't you guys have your own forum ?

lol…. She comes for the the Attention …..on a South African forum, if that exists, shes a nobody

Samantha125:
Look at your double standards... ... I could say the same about the op, I guess we're all bitter... ... We will give you your peace, leave you alone to hangout with your friends and not disturb you for any financial requests anymore as you requested.. .

You literally turned everything upside down 👎. And I don't think that's necessary.

Imagine if you reverse the case and suen is a South African m will any Nigerian be allowed.

I hate those people with passion.

As I'm typing this my blood is boiling.

WatchYourSix:
lol…. She comes for the the Attention …..on a South African forum, if that exists, shes a nobody

That post is going viral because it touches a nerve a lot of couples feel: “how do we keep the connection alive when life gets busy, stressful, and routine sets in?”

Let’s break the list down without the “side-chic” framing, because marriage isn’t a competition with anyone outside. It’s about 2 people choosing each other daily.

*What in the list actually helps most marriages*
These are solid relationship basics, regardless of gender:
1. *Health + self-care* - Staying active, feeling good in your body helps confidence and energy for both partners.
2. *Effort in appearance* - Dressing with care for yourself and for each other signals "I still want to be attractive to you." Doesn’t have to be expensive.
3. *Peace at home* - A home as a safe/resting place, less constant conflict, giving space for "me-time" helps.
4. *Shared interests + quality time* - Watching football together, spending weekends, creating memories. Connection grows here.
5. *Intimacy and communication* - Talking about needs in bed, initiating, being present. And also giving privacy/trust instead of constant policing.

*Where the list gets problematic*
A few points put 100% of the burden on women and frame it like “be like the distraction or lose him.” That’s not sustainable:
1. *One-sided responsibility*: Marriage spark takes 2 people. Where’s the list for men? Cooking, finances, emotional labor, date nights, bedroom effort, phone privacy should go both ways.
2. *"Reduce financial conversations"*: Money stress is real in Nigeria. Hiding it or pretending it’s not there breeds resentment. Healthy couples budget _together_ instead of avoiding it.
3. *"Don’t check his phone" + "Don’t cage him"*: Trust is good. But trust is built with transparency, not secrecy. Privacy ≠ hiding. If there’s no trust, the issue is deeper than phone checking.
4. *"Be fierce as a lion but calm as a dove"*: This reduces intimacy to performance. Real intimacy is communication, consent, playfulness, and meeting each other’s needs — not acting out videos.

*A more balanced 10-point version for _both_ partners*
If the goal is “keep the spark,” it works better when both people do it:
1. *Take care of yourself* - health, hygiene, confidence for you, not just for him/her
2. *Show up for each other* - dress up sometimes, even at home
3. *Talk about money as a team* - budget nights, not blame nights
4. *Guard the peace* - repair after arguments fast. No silent treatment
5. *Feed each other* - cook, or order in, or do it together
6. *Keep intimacy alive* - talk about what you like, try new things _together_
7. *Spoil each other* - use your money to bless the other sometimes
8. *Give freedom + security* - friends, hobbies, and come home to each other
9. *Make time* - phone down, calendar it. Especially with kids/shifts/work
10. *Choose trust* - ask questions directly instead of investigating. Address root issues

*Real talk*
Childbirth, work shifts, inflation, stress... they _do_ dull the spark. That’s normal. The fix isn’t “mimic a side-chic.” The fix is: _become curious about each other again_. Ask: what made us laugh 5 years ago? What does my partner need this week that I can give?

A marriage that lasts is not built on fear of someone else taking your place. It’s built on 2 people deciding: "I’m still choosing you."

koladata:
Imagine if you reverse the case and suen is a South African m will any Nigerian be allowed.

I hate those people with passion.

As I'm typing this my blood is boiling.

Anyone who restricts cyberspace traffic from a country.. its their loss…
Baba Save your boiling blood for bad governance

[quote author=Lombrozo post=140340888][/quote]me as a man this is how life should, not indebted to any woman or children, live your life, I live my life too. Whenever we feel like to meet we meet.

You dey para oo

Samantha125:
1. This is probably coming from someone with a beer belly, unfit men have high chances of kicking the bucket during shaboinky than women... And last time I checked, some of your gender forbade their women from going to the gym.

2. When we dress well, some of your insecured gender would be suspecting us of having extramarital affairs, they'd prefer us looking unattractive instead.

3. The moment we reduce the financial conversations at home, better believe that we'll talk about them elsewhere with someone attentive.

4. It's fine, we'll keep the house peaceful and find someone outside with an active listening skill to listen to our hearts' desires.

5. Cooking is an essential life skill that everyone show know, because a way to everyone's hearts is through their stomachs... No one wants to starve to death.

6. The moment we come up with new ideas to spice things up in the bedroom, some of your gender would be suspecting us of having extramarital affairs, or of being retired ladies of the night.

7. We will spend our own money given that you wouldn't be asking us questions the moment we start buying ourselves a variety of designer clothes and going on girls' weekend getaways.

8. You can hangout with your friends for as long as you like, it'll give us some time to also hangout with our own friends and do some self exploration.

9. Having time for each other should be reciprocatory.

10. We should all stop checking each other's phones.

MY JOB HERE IS DONE!!!!

Nigerian women with their big belly can never stay in shape. Even doing exercises is a waste for dem because they will go back to eating huge amount of foods and drinks.

Werey!



"If he dies, he dies"


May we not die in active service.

Hmm. All these multi account users. Many of you boys would rather wear skirts than trousers.

Person wey compile this list deserves something good, very on point, especially #10 and all other numbers. Well done

Well, your moniker does says the truth hurts...

truthhurts2:
You literally turned everything upside down 👎. And I don't think that's necessary.

South Africa is also for South Africans and not for Nigerians, so until all Nigerians leave SA, I'll stay here for as long as I want and none of you can do anything about it... Even Papa Seun told me himself to make myself at home, so if you have a problem with that, I suggest you go talk to him about it...😌😌😌

Now what's for breakfast?

koladata:
This forum is for Nigerian not for South African. Don't you guys have your own forum ?

Well, good morning to you too.

WatchYourSix:
lol…. She comes for the the Attention …..on a South African forum, if that exists, shes a nobody

If you're not careful, that hate will one day consume you.

Imagine your blood boiling over a stranger on a faceless forum... ... And I'd suggest that you drink enough water to help lower your BP, because we don't want you ending up on a hospital bed because of me, do we?😶😶😶

koladata:
Imagine if you reverse the case and suen is a South African m will any Nigerian be allowed.

I hate those people with passion.

As I'm typing this my blood is boiling.

Samantha125:
Well, your moniker does says the truth hurts...

Yeah, it does really....

No wonder marriages in Africa are toxic and aren't healthy at all. So women are meant to be the only party to put in the work? What about the men? Are they babies?

IamMobisola:
No wonder marriages in Africa are toxic and aren't healthy at all. So women are meant to be the only party to put in the work? What about the men? Are they babies?

Shouldnt one of you open thread and say what you expect from men??
i mean, dont u guys say men that have a clue what women really want?? But noo…instead, you play victim and accuse them of toxicity for saying how they feel

Be clean inside and out and around the house. And yes I man can help with chores as much as he can

If I accept all this points, I will never take the last one. Not checking my husband phone as how? What is he hiding, why will my husband be hiding his phone from me while I'm not hiding my if he's faithful? And the aspect of cooking, the understanding men help their wife cook whenever they deem it necessary, not fixating on my wife must cook even when she's crazily tired. I must preach, courtship period is the time you study whoever you think you want to marry, those little things you could observe wether to endure or move on. I still thank God for giving me that wisdom when I was young to easily recognize a toxic man because he thought he was walking in one yeye high office then, so my decision shouldn't count as a young lady in final year. I quickly pick a raise and God brought my own lover boy who was just serving NYSC at the period , I didn't glue myself to a toxic working class. 15 years in marriage, may death not take any of us early. Marriage is sweet if you marry your friend. And pray to God before entering any courtship.

Kaczynski:
Men are literally gods. It's out of the ribs of men, women were formed.


Nigerian women should be happy nigerian men are settling for them. Any nigerian man that have left the shores will never have anything to do with a nigerian woman. So be grateful and submissive when you see a male.

I hope you don't cross the road with this kind of reasoning?