₦airaland Forum

omooba969:
Y'all are the same, materialistic, uncooperative and unsupportive.

Unfortunately, your mom, whom you've assumed a standard, isn't a standard. So, stop mistaken me and my AA sisters for her.

Pls leave him. We need his opinions to relieve the present day economic tension caused by Tinubu. We need to laugh.

DonEd:
Do u have any traits of reasonable thinking at all?

lookinggood:
When they married was there agreement the husband would help her with a job and also sell his car to support her?

lol
Asin ehn

Kobojunkie:
1. When you both married, did you have an agreement that required the woman to contribute to the financial burden in the marriage?

2. In the case that the marriage contract between the man and woman was entered into in the typical woman-submits-to-man, aka traditional marriage model, then it is technically unmanly or wrong for the man to require the same woman now to turn around and take over part of his manly role of being the sole provider in the marriage. 😒😒

3. You never asked her before, probably because the agreement between you two was that you would be the sole financial provider in the marriage? If that is the case, then you may want to consider renegotiating your marriage contract or something, meaning you will need to take on some of her roles in the marriage as well. 😒😒

This is lame and senseless in this context
Is she not the mother of the children abi training your own child not your responsibility again?

I don't understand at all

nickxtra:
Some women are terribly greedy and selfish

How can a husband asks his wife show concern and drop something to support atleast a part of one of the children's school fees/text books and she is resisting?

The husband has been repsonsible for the school fees and wellbeing of the 4 kids, but in this first term, the school fees have increased and the need to get a little support from a wife is creating discord.

The Federal government job the wife is doing was offered to her through the husband(originally meant for him), while the husband rather opted to be in the street hustling and in school too.

To cushion the effect of transportation, the husband had years sold his Bolt business car to buy a tokunbo car for her, as means of getting to and from work. Now the woman is working and at the same time running a side business, using the car as a support.

Anytime issue of supporting the family comes up, she flares up, whereas she sends money to family back home often (which am not critical of).

Out of the 4 kids, the husband has told her to take up a partial responsibility for one of them who is in JSS 3, because the fee is high.

Is it unmanly or wrong for a husband to call a wife to show support for children's school fees(at most partial support for one out of 4 kids)?

Or is she resisting this because she is used to not supporting before now, as i have never called for her support in any way before now?

Never go out of your way to put a woman in a position where she would be bigger than you….
As a man put yourself first or your kids the woman should be the 3rd

Hopefully U make a good home...common sense

Kobojunkie:
1. When you both married, did you have an agreement that required the woman to contribute to the financial burden in the marriage?

2. In the case that the marriage contract between the man and woman was entered into in the typical woman-submits-to-man, aka traditional marriage model, then it is technically unmanly or wrong for the man to require the same woman now to turn around and take over part of his manly role of being the sole provider in the marriage. 😒😒

3. You never asked her before, probably because the agreement between you two was that you would be the sole financial provider in the marriage? If that is the case, then you may want to consider renegotiating your marriage contract or something, meaning you will need to take on some of her roles in the marriage as well. 😒😒

greatiyk4u:
➜ This is lame and senseless in this context Is she not the mother of the children abi training your own child not your responsibility again? I don't understand at all

Do all mothers and fathers, including those who abandon their children take responsiblity for training their children? Take that mariage contract more seriously so you do not end up with "had-I-known" situation.😒😒

Ayanfet:
➜I beg to differ on your take, social awareness and common sense should let the woman support in a critical situation,
➜ if the man dies because of chesting too much responsibilities whose sole responsibility would taken care of the children be?

How many men and women do you meet each day who are socially aware and operate well within the common-sense spectrum every single day? 😒😒

2. You mean you haven't seen a situation where the man/woman abandons the children to pursue a better life elsewhere or with a different partner, even before the death of the other spouse? Why do we discuss these issues as though marriage and humans operate as some monolith? 😒😒

lamentor78:
Most Nigerian man are dumb especially those that show too much care for their family, go to some home where the man is a drunkard, the wife takes most of the responsibilities. Nigeria men should learn how not to be a mumu, my salary is over half a million my wife salary is about a half we share responsibilities and everybody knows what is his/her own. A woman that fails to support you dont have any small amount of love for you,,,,,is not rocket science .

I have a friend, he is a teacher his wife is a graduate of law , after their first child after marriage the woman refuse to work, and he pressure my friend to buy the latest iphone for her , two years gone she wants the child to go to expensive nursery school that people with jeep and fancy cars go to. ....long story short My friend have ran away o. he said he no dey do again. The girl has gone back to her mama house now working a 8-6pm job using torchlight phone. The child now going to a normal school in their street.

...but when my friend was at home this woman want to kill him....with problem

Why will your friend run away from the house? He started enabling her by buying the iPhone for her when he can’t afford it. Most guys are the ones that give their woman the respective hand to follow them. Abeg this so annoying to read

lookinggood:
➜When they married was there agreement the husband would help her with a job and also sell his car to support her?

If he is the sole financial provider,yes! You don't see how?😒😒

nickxtra:
Some women are terribly greedy and selfish

How can a husband asks his wife show concern and drop something to support atleast a part of one of the children's school fees/text books and she is resisting?

The husband has been repsonsible for the school fees and wellbeing of the 4 kids, but in this first term, the school fees have increased and the need to get a little support from a wife is creating discord.

The Federal government job the wife is doing was offered to her through the husband(originally meant for him), while the husband rather opted to be in the street hustling and in school too.

To cushion the effect of transportation, the husband had years sold his Bolt business car to buy a tokunbo car for her, as means of getting to and from work. Now the woman is working and at the same time running a side business, using the car as a support.

Anytime issue of supporting the family comes up, she flares up, whereas she sends money to family back home often (which am not critical of).

Out of the 4 kids, the husband has told her to take up a partial responsibility for one of them who is in JSS 3, because the fee is high.

Is it unmanly or wrong for a husband to call a wife to show support for children's school fees(at most partial support for one out of 4 kids)?

Or is she resisting this because she is used to not supporting before now, as i have never called for her support in any way before now?

I would've advise you but sadly it's not too late.

You married one of those women with the mindset of "my money is my money alone" while your money is our money"

You'll soon kpai before your time.

The solution is this.. take charge and control of her finances

lamentor78:
➜ Most Nigerian man are dumb especially those that show too much care for their family, go to some home where the man is a drunkard, the wife takes most of the responsibilities. Nigeria men should learn how not to be a mumu, my salary is over half a million my wife salary is about a half we share responsibilities and everybody knows what is his/her own. A woman that fails to support you dont have any small amount of love for you,,,,,is not rocket science .
➜ I have a friend, he is a teacher his wife is a graduate of law , after their first child after marriage the woman refuse to work, and he pressure my friend to buy the latest iphone for her , two years gone she wants the child to go to expensive nursery school that people with jeep and fancy cars go to. ....long story short My friend have ran away o. he said he no dey do again. The girl has gone back to her mama house now working a 8-6pm job using torchlight phone. The child now going to a normal school in their street.
➜ ...but when my friend was at home this woman want to kill him....with problem

1. You mean a Nigerian man should enter one of those marriages with women desperate for husbands, than for a Nigerian man to enter a marriage with a woman he actually likes and cherishes? 😒😒

2. Why did your friend accept her quiting her job in the first place? 😒😒

3. Correction! Your friend wanted to kill himself. He was a teacher married to a woman with a law degree, yet sat back and allowed her to deprive their home of the second income so he could then become the sole financial provider. Why? Rather than run,your friend should have pursued divorce if the woman had refused outright to get back to work. Abandonment is a criminal offense in Nigeria. 😒😒

Kobojunkie:
Here on Nairaland, we recently read about a woman who used her daughter to make indecent videos for online. Would it be OK for me to assume that because she is a married woman, same as you, you think as she does? 🙄🙄

Stop trying to distract from the topic, abeg! 🙄🙄

Just continue......

Kobojunkie:
1. When you both married, did you have an agreement that required the woman to contribute to the financial burden in the marriage?

2. In the case that the marriage contract between the man and woman was entered into in the typical woman-submits-to-man, aka traditional marriage model, then it is technically unmanly or wrong for the man to require the same woman now to turn around and take over part of his manly role of being the sole provider in the marriage. 😒😒

3. You never asked her before, probably because the agreement between you two was that you would be the sole financial provider in the marriage? If that is the case, then you may want to consider renegotiating your marriage contract or something, meaning you will need to take on some of her roles in the marriage as well. 😒😒

Must there be an agreement before you help ur own immediate family,your children for that matter?
Some women are just too mean.a day shall come when nature will force her down from the high horse.

Goo0dHardDick:
I would've advise you but sadly it's too late.

You married one of those women with the mindset of "my money is my money alone" while your money is our money"

You'll soon kpai before your time.

GOD FORBID. RETURN BACK YOU IN JESUS NAME.

nickxtra:
GOD FORBID. RETURN BACK YOU IN JESUS NAME.

Return back to me as how? Na me tell you make u marry woman wey no get sense enough to know when to support her home without her husband asking her to?

If I advise you now, you might end up insulting us here.

Dude, take charge and control of her finances. to do is, you need to know how much she earns to enable you plan effectively.

You need to take charge of her finances!!

Ubanz:
➜Must there be an agreement before you help ur own immediate family,your children for that matter? Some women are just too mean.a day shall come when nature will force her down from the high horse.

People generally accept that common sense is not common. This is literally a fact of life. Nevertheless, many of the same people go around expecting common sense to be common in marriage just because they imagine it so. Don't you think this is a retarded way of thinking? 😒😒

For both men and women alike, common sense is uncommon in all things. For this reason, you should endeavor to have an agreement that clearly spells out concerns and responsibilities for any business you have with others, including marriage. 😒😒

Kobojunkie:
People generally accept that common sense is not common. This is literally a fact of life. Nevertheless, many of the same people go around expecting common sense to be common in marriage just because they imagine it so. Don't you think this is a retarded way of thinking? 😒😒

For both men and women alike, common sense is uncommon in all things. For this reason, you should endeavor to have an agreement that clearly spells out concerns and responsibilities for any business you have with others, including marriage. 😒😒

I told a woman to tell me all the things she expects from marriage as well as all the things she expects to gain from me in marriage so we can hv a written signed agreement. She refused because she wants to hide her agenda. The female gender knows exactly what they are doing

BigBashiru:
➜I told a woman to tell me all the things she expects from marriage as well as all the things she expects to gain from my marriage so we can hv a written signed agreement. She refused because she wants to hide her agenda. The female gender knows exactly what they are doing

Men do the same. People tend to hide their intentions on a regular. I fail to see your point! 😒😒

Nor mind the mugu

wazklin:
Men build families but women only destroy. Someone up there is talking about a marriage contract, I belive such person is not married yet.
99% of marriages built on unaccountability, silent competition, love, such as that of the op would always end up in disaster. This is just the beginning of your nightmare. With time she will see this as bothering her and secretly get an apartment somewhere leaving you all to yourself. After all, she can take care for herself now.
If you want to take control(which I don't want to belive it's too late), you need to take charge of her finances (this is what you would have done from the day she got your job). She is supposed not to touch every dime she earns unless you give her permission to. But you a lover man, nonchalantly let everything slide back then and now you see the consequences?
Next, she'll either kick you out of the house or go get her own house

Marriage is a choice not a need. It is full of pains. The girl you are planning to marry now will show u pepper. I warned u.

AbosedeFalade:
Unfortunately, your mom, whom you've assumed a standard, isn't a standard. So, stop mistaken me and my AA sisters for her.

Lol 😆, need I say more about you? Is this your best shot?

Well, I won't insult your mum but point out, someone defo did a terrible job at raising you.

Kobojunkie:
People generally accept that common sense is not common. This is literally a fact of life. Nevertheless, many of the same people go around expecting common sense to be common in marriage just because they imagine it so. Don't you think this is a retarded way of thinking? 😒😒

For both men and women alike, common sense is uncommon in all things. For this reason, you should endeavor to have an agreement that clearly spells out concerns and responsibilities for any business you have with others, including marriage. 😒😒

I understand your orientation but shït is messed up...trust me.

These conversation are incomprehensible to people living in the Western world. In those countries, marriage is a partnership where both parties come together in love to pool resources to grow a family and support each other. In Africa, a lot of the time, it is just another increased obligation for the man, which, increasingly these days, he doesn't even receive appreciation for.

greatiyk4u:
This is lame and senseless in this context
Is she not the mother of the children abi training your own child not your responsibility again?

I don't understand at all

Don't stress yourself over Kobojunkie 's comments, 'always reasoning sideways while struggling to sound woke.

Kobojunkie:
1. When you both married, did you have an agreement that required the woman to contribute to the financial burden in the marriage?

2. In the case that the marriage contract between the man and woman was entered into in the typical woman-submits-to-man, aka traditional marriage model, then it is technically unmanly or wrong for the man to require the same woman now to turn around and take over part of his manly role of being the sole provider in the marriage. 😒😒

3. You never asked her before, probably because the agreement between you two was that you would be the sole financial provider in the marriage? If that is the case, then you may want to consider renegotiating your marriage contract or something, meaning you will need to take on some of her roles in the marriage as well. 😒😒

Women like u is the reason I support Talibans ...

omooba969:
➜I understand your orientation but shït is messed up...trust me.

What do you understand? 😒

Kobojunkie:
1. When you both married, did you have an agreement that required the woman to contribute to the financial burden in the marriage?

2. In the case that the marriage contract between the man and woman was entered into in the typical woman-submits-to-man, aka traditional marriage model, then it is technically unmanly or wrong for the man to require the same woman now to turn around and take over part of his manly role of being the sole provider in the marriage. 😒😒

3. You never asked her before, probably because the agreement between you two was that you would be the sole financial provider in the marriage? If that is the case, then you may want to consider renegotiating your marriage contract or something, meaning you will need to take on some of her roles in the marriage as well. 😒😒

Kobojunkie, you don't know this manipulative gender, they will tell you that a woman must submit to you in all things including her finances....

They practically want a remote control wife that they can navigate easily and even when woman do all these things, they're still not satisfied....

nickxtra:
Some women are terribly greedy and selfish

How can a husband asks his wife show concern and drop something to support atleast a part of one of the children's school fees/text books and she is resisting?

The husband has been repsonsible for the school fees and wellbeing of the 4 kids, but in this first term, the school fees have increased and the need to get a little support from a wife is creating discord.

The Federal government job the wife is doing was offered to her through the husband(originally meant for him), while the husband rather opted to be in the street hustling and in school too.

To cushion the effect of transportation, the husband had years sold his Bolt business car to buy a tokunbo car for her, as means of getting to and from work. Now the woman is working and at the same time running a side business, using the car as a support.

Anytime issue of supporting the family comes up, she flares up, whereas she sends money to family back home often (which am not critical of).

Out of the 4 kids, the husband has told her to take up a partial responsibility for one of them who is in JSS 3, because the fee is high.

Is it unmanly or wrong for a husband to call a wife to show support for children's school fees(at most partial support for one out of 4 kids)?

Or is she resisting this because she is used to not supporting before now, as i have never called for her support in any way before now?

Put the children in a school you can afford and have peace

nickxtra:
Some women are terribly greedy and selfish

How can a husband asks his wife show concern and drop something to support atleast a part of one of the children's school fees/text books and she is resisting?

The husband has been repsonsible for the school fees and wellbeing of the 4 kids, but in this first term, the school fees have increased and the need to get a little support from a wife is creating discord.

The Federal government job the wife is doing was offered to her through the husband(originally meant for him), while the husband rather opted to be in the street hustling and in school too.

To cushion the effect of transportation, the husband had years sold his Bolt business car to buy a tokunbo car for her, as means of getting to and from work. Now the woman is working and at the same time running a side business, using the car as a support.

Anytime issue of supporting the family comes up, she flares up, whereas she sends money to family back home often (which am not critical of).

Out of the 4 kids, the husband has told her to take up a partial responsibility for one of them who is in JSS 3, because the fee is high.

Is it unmanly or wrong for a husband to call a wife to show support for children's school fees(at most partial support for one out of 4 kids)?

Or is she resisting this because she is used to not supporting before now, as i have never called for her support in any way before now?

Don't be surprised to find out she's already building a house in secret

That is why when they advise you men to prioritize character/kindness over beauty, it sounds as if the person is being old-fashioned...this society conditions us to exploit each other, subconsciously even

wazklin:
Men build families but women only destroy. Someone up there is talking about a marriage contract, I belive such person is not married yet.
99% of marriages built on unaccountability, silent competition, love, such as that of the op would always end up in disaster. This is just the beginning of your nightmare. With time she will see this as bothering her and secretly get an apartment somewhere leaving you all to yourself. After all, she can take care for herself now.
If you want to take control(which I don't want to belive it's too late), you need to take charge of her finances (this is what you would have done from the day she got your job). She is supposed not to touch every dime she earns unless you give her permission to. But you a lover man, nonchalantly let everything slide back then and now you see the consequences?
Next, she'll either kick you out of the house or go get her own house

Hahahahhahaahaa, take charge of her finances wey na she do the work...

Even a didinrin won't allow that, she will rather leave your sorry as