₦airaland Forum

Good afternoon nairalanders, It's been 2 years and 6 months since i got married to my wife. She have been completely idle since then, recently i gave her 5m to start up a business, in which she told me she'd start it up by December. The very evening i sent her the money "not less than 5 minutes" she borrowed her friend 1.5m from it to boost her business and locked the rest on her Piggyvest, pending December that she'd be starting up her business. It's been almost a month since i gave the money for business.

Yesterday Sunday, i went to see my mom and we were just discussing randomly "i and my mom" then the discussion let to me telling my mom that i gave my wife money for business, in which i couldn't even disclose the amount. Because my mom have been bugging me for 5k for weeks now to send to her mom that's in the village, but i haven't been able to give her yet because things really seem so hard for me this period, so i couldn't really disclose the amount,

I sold my land, pocketed 1m and gave her the balance 5m to start up the business.


Today, i opened up up to my wife that my family is aware that i gave her money for business and she have been very mad angry and furious. Claiming that how could i tell my family that i gave her money, asking me that if she's the one that gave me money, if she would then start announcing to her family that she gave me money.


I responded by letting her know that, firstly... Her assertion is not possible bcus there's no way she'd give me money, and secondly a man telling his family that he gave his wife money and a woman doing the same thing are two different things entirely, the weight of the words are not the same.

Note : last year i bought fridge for her mom 350k and no single soul in my family knew, until this very hour, i sent her mom 70k too, in which the highest amount i have ever sent my own mom is 50k, I have bought her 5 phones in a space of two years.


Also, my mom have been dreaming of using an android phone ever since, and i eventually bought her a phone, but before even surprising her, my wife said she liked the phone and she took it and started using it, i told her to give me her older phone so I can give my mom and until date she refused, she's still using both phones until this very moment and my mom is using a touch light phone that she bought with her own money from her little savings. It's been almost a year now and i have only brought up the issue twice about her hijacking phone the phone that I bought for my mom, all to herself knowing fully well that It'd make my mom happy because she have been dreaming of using an android phone, the two times i brought up the issue it doesn't always end up well, it's always endless quarrel.



I just want to know if her behaviour is normal, or I'm i the one not seeing anything bad in what i did? Because this girl have manipulated me to the point that I have started seeing every ordinary little thing as a big deal, all thanks to her. How can a normal human being get angry because a man told his mom that he gave his wife money to start up a business. I really want to know if I'm the one seeing all of these in a wrong way or if she's right.

Sadly, even though we are not taught, this behavior is quite common with wives in this part of the world and husbands need wisdom and patience to handle these unexpected painful behaviors from our wives. She is highly territorial and wants to be highly superior to your mother and doesn't want your mother to know any of her secrets or weaknesses that can be used against her in the future should she misbehave

Kobojunkie
Sonnobax15...come and see ooo 🤣🤣

Far be it from me to speak ill of another man's wife.
But I have a few questions Sir, before I say that "Na as you lay your bed, na so you dey lie ontop am so".

She has been completely idle since then

1. Was she idle before marriage? Were you the one that asked her to quit whatever she was doing when you got married?
2. Was she the one that requested for this money to start the business? (If NO, sorry, that money will loss, just FACT).
3. Has she shown past behaviour of "resentment" towards your family? Does she feel the need to be in competition with them for your love and wealth?
4. How long did you let this lady understand your personality before you married her? (I'm asking because when people do not understand what will make you angry, they'll do it and think you're overreacting - i.e borrowing out 1.5m for money intended for a business, and locking the remaining in piggyvest, while continuing being IDLE! Instead of putting things in motion post haste).

Take your time to answer, your response will also give other Nairalanders context to answer you better.

Any sense you get here cannot be useful for you.

Haba…. No use this kind sense cross road oooo

Stephen0mozzy:
Far be it from me to speak ill of another man's wife.
But I have a few questions Sir, before I say that "Na as you lay your bed, na so you dey lie ontop am so".


1. Was she idle before marriage? Were you the one that asked her to quit whatever she was doing when you got married?
2. Was she the one that requested for this money to start the business? (If NO, sorry, that money will loss, just FACT).
3. Has she shown past behaviour of "resentment" towards your family? Does she feel the need to be in competition with them for your love and wealth?
4. How long did you let this lady understand your personality before you married her? (I'm asking because when people do not understand what will make you angry, they'll do it and think you're overreacting - i.e borrowing out 1.5m for money intended for a business, and locking the remaining in piggyvest, while continuing being IDLE! Instead of putting things in motion post haste).

Take your time, to answer, your response will also give other Nairalanders context to answer you better.

1....she was completely idle before marriage, still in OND 2

2....She's the one that requested for the money, it's been a while, so i had to sell my land and finally give her the money to start up something.

3....She's always in that competition, most especially the love i have for my younger brother "our last born"


4....she got pregnant while we were dating, she pleaded with me regarding the marriage and i refused, until I couldn't any longer, that's when I agreed, and we planned and got married two months later, before the pregnancy popped out.


Bonus answer, she newly gave birth, 3 months ago, that's why she's insisting on waiting until December.

Also, she didn't tell inform me before borrowing her friend the said amount immediately I sent the money to her.

sholatech:
Sadly, even though we are not taught, this behavior is quite common with wives in this part of the world and husbands need wisdom and patience to handle these unexpected painful behaviors from our wives. She is highly territorial and wants to be highly superior to your mother and doesn't want your mother to know any of her secrets or weaknesses that can be used against her in the future should she misbehave

The bolded above seem to be one of the answers I've been looking for, i get it now.

BlindAngel:
1....she was completely idle before marriage, still in OND 2

2....She's the one that requested for the money, it's been a while, so i had to sell my land and finally give her the money to start up something.

3....She's always in that competition, most especially the love i have for my younger brother "our last born"


4....she got pregnant while we were dating, she pleaded with me regarding the marriage and i refused, until I couldn't any longer, that's when I agreed, and we planned and got married two months later, before the pregnancy popped out.


Bonus answer, she newly gave birth, 3 months ago, that's why she's insisting on waiting until December.

Also, she didn't tell inform me before borrowing her friend the said amount immediately I sent the money to her.

First Off, congratulations on the birth of your child.

1. Well, we can't say she was idle in OND2 - She was a student, and at that level, I doubt she's been long in Adulthood, early 20s?

2. Anybody can request for money; has she shown initiative all these while, while waiting for the money to test the waters of the business she wants to invest "FREE 5m" into? Because a person who cannot start with little, how will they manage such a huge capital they didn't toil for? Business is experienced, not watched on youtube.

Anyways, this statement below should worry you, more than her attitude towards Business Capital.
She's always in that competition, most especially the love i have for my younger brother "our last born" - Wait till your baby starts school and see how she'll try to manipulate you into abandoning your family. But you need to read your signature every time and insist on not doing so.

she got pregnant while we were dating, she pleaded with me regarding the marriage and i refused, until I couldn't any longer, that's when I agreed, and we planned and got married two months later, before the pregnancy popped out.
- She'll feel that you "ended her trajectory in life" because of that pregnancy
- You'll feel that she "begged" you into the marriage because of the pregnancy

You guys need to really talk and set a standard for your marriage my good sir - this case of borrowing her friend the money without your consent is like a straw that's breaking the camel's back of other unresolved issues.

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon nairalanders, It's been 2 years and 6 months since i got married to my wife. She have been completely idle since then, recently i gave her 5m to start up a business, in which she told me she'd start it up by December. The very evening i sent her the money "not less than 5 minutes" she borrowed her friend 1.5m from it to boost her business and locked the rest on her Piggyvest, pending December that she'd be starting up her business. It's been almost a month since i gave the money for business.

Yesterday Sunday, i went to see my mom and we were just discussing randomly "i and my mom" then the discussion let to me telling my mom that i gave my wife money for business, in which i couldn't even disclose the amount. Because my mom have been bugging me for 5k for weeks now to send to her mom that's in the village, but i haven't been able to give her yet because things really seem so hard for me this period, so i couldn't really disclose the amount,

I sold my land, pocketed 1m and gave her the balance 5m to start up the business.


Today, i opened up up to my wife that my family is aware that i gave her money for business and she have been very mad angry and furious. Claiming that how could i tell my family that i gave her money, asking me that if she's the one that gave me money, if she would then start announcing to her family that she gave me money.


I responded by letting her know that, firstly... Her assertion is not possible bcus there's no way she'd give me money, and secondly a man telling his family that he gave his wife money and a woman doing the same thing are two different things entirely, the weight of the words are not the same.

Note : last year i bought fridge for her mom 350k and no single soul in my family knew, until this very hour, i sent her mom 70k too, in which the highest amount i have ever sent my own mom is 50k, I have bought her 5 phones in a space of two years.


Also, my mom have been dreaming of using an android phone ever since, and i eventually bought her a phone, but before even surprising her, my wife said she liked the phone and she took it and started using it, i told her to give me her older phone so I can give my mom and until date she refused, she's still using both phones until this very moment and my mom is using a touch light phone that she bought with her own money from her little savings. It's been almost a year now and i have only brought up the issue twice about her hijacking phone the phone that I bought for my mom, all to herself knowing fully well that It'd make my mom happy because she have been dreaming of using an android phone, the two times i brought up the issue it doesn't always end up well, it's always endless quarrel.



I just want to know if her behaviour is normal, or I'm i the one not seeing anything bad in what i did? Because this girl have manipulated me to the point that I have started seeing every ordinary little thing as a big deal, all thanks to her. How can a normal human being get angry because a man told his mom that he gave his wife money to start up a business. I really want to know if I'm the one seeing all of these in a wrong way or if she's right.

Go and take good care of your mother, don't do what you will regret

You can give your wife 5m, you can't get your monter a smart phone, bro you aren't making sense



She took your mum phone for what reason! Bro! (Abeg, she don get 5m, collect the phone today and give your mother) That's selfishness ejor

I don't care what goes on between you and your wife, but whatever little that mama can enjoy for the reward of her labor, pls, don't deprive her...

Don't do what you will regret

Peace out

Imagine you can't give the mother who birthed you 5k but you were able to give one woman 5m simply because she's your wife . Bro,the only pain I've got right now is that I'm sharing the same masculinity with you .

This HAS to be RAGEBAIT.

Abeg I nor get advice for you, no advice, no no no no advice for you man.


Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit and God forbid me to advice you Mr husband of the generation.


When your mama won come enjoy her suffer for your life?

You get business of your own?

Why will you sell a land for 6m without investment of 3m in yourself before settling her own?

These are just questions you have to ask yourself.


Haven’t said that, your wife has no business for what you do or buy for your mum to the extent of taking the phone you bought for her. Then never born and will never born that woman to try that with me with my mum.

This is not love , rather low self esteem, lack of self respect, lose of masculinity and dignity as a man.

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon nairalanders, It's been 2 years and 6 months since i got married to my wife. She have been completely idle since then, recently i gave her 5m to start up a business, in which she told me she'd start it up by December. The very evening i sent her the money "not less than 5 minutes" she borrowed her friend 1.5m from it to boost her business and locked the rest on her Piggyvest, pending December that she'd be starting up her business. It's been almost a month since i gave the money for business.

Yesterday Sunday, i went to see my mom and we were just discussing randomly "i and my mom" then the discussion let to me telling my mom that i gave my wife money for business, in which i couldn't even disclose the amount. Because my mom have been bugging me for 5k for weeks now to send to her mom that's in the village, but i haven't been able to give her yet because things really seem so hard for me this period, so i couldn't really disclose the amount,

I sold my land, pocketed 1m and gave her the balance 5m to start up the business.


Today, i opened up up to my wife that my family is aware that i gave her money for business and she have been very mad angry and furious. Claiming that how could i tell my family that i gave her money, asking me that if she's the one that gave me money, if she would then start announcing to her family that she gave me money.


I responded by letting her know that, firstly... Her assertion is not possible bcus there's no way she'd give me money, and secondly a man telling his family that he gave his wife money and a woman doing the same thing are two different things entirely, the weight of the words are not the same.

Note : last year i bought fridge for her mom 350k and no single soul in my family knew, until this very hour, i sent her mom 70k too, in which the highest amount i have ever sent my own mom is 50k, I have bought her 5 phones in a space of two years.


Also, my mom have been dreaming of using an android phone ever since, and i eventually bought her a phone, but before even surprising her, my wife said she liked the phone and she took it and started using it, i told her to give me her older phone so I can give my mom and until date she refused, she's still using both phones until this very moment and my mom is using a touch light phone that she bought with her own money from her little savings. It's been almost a year now and i have only brought up the issue twice about her hijacking phone the phone that I bought for my mom, all to herself knowing fully well that It'd make my mom happy because she have been dreaming of using an android phone, the two times i brought up the issue it doesn't always end up well, it's always endless quarrel.



I just want to know if her behaviour is normal, or I'm i the one not seeing anything bad in what i did? Because this girl have manipulated me to the point that I have started seeing every ordinary little thing as a big deal, all thanks to her. How can a normal human being get angry because a man told his mom that he gave his wife money to start up a business. I really want to know if I'm the one seeing all of these in a wrong way or if she's right.

Fake story. Not true

sacajawea:
Fake story. Not true

Are you married?

How will you be spending much on your mother in-law and forget about your own mothers needs, and also telling your family you gave your wife money to start up a business will make them feel she's draining you financially thereby making your family to start developing hatred on your wife

Omo them no dey put mouth for husband and wife matter

Sounds like a great way to keep things interesting!

Oga so you sold land 6m, pocketed 1m and give 5m to your wife?
Had I know is the last comment of a fool according to gheghe.
Op read my post from yesterday, it may matter to you.
https://www.nairaland.com/8747310/she-flares-up-anytime-she/1#140634201

I feel dumber for reading this post. BUT may we never have sons like you and may we find husbands like you. Amen!

Finished man

Na your mother phone matter dey make me vex like this. I feel for the woman that labored for you

BlindAngel:
Good afternoon nairalanders, It's been 2 years and 6 months since i got married to my wife. She have been completely idle since then, recently i gave her 5m to start up a business, in which she told me she'd start it up by December. The very evening i sent her the money "not less than 5 minutes" she borrowed her friend 1.5m from it to boost her business and locked the rest on her Piggyvest, pending December that she'd be starting up her business. It's been almost a month since i gave the money for business.

Yesterday Sunday, i went to see my mom and we were just discussing randomly "i and my mom" then the discussion let to me telling my mom that i gave my wife money for business, in which i couldn't even disclose the amount. Because my mom have been bugging me for 5k for weeks now to send to her mom that's in the village, but i haven't been able to give her yet because things really seem so hard for me this period, so i couldn't really disclose the amount,

I sold my land, pocketed 1m and gave her the balance 5m to start up the business.


Today, i opened up up to my wife that my family is aware that i gave her money for business and she have been very mad angry and furious. Claiming that how could i tell my family that i gave her money, asking me that if she's the one that gave me money, if she would then start announcing to her family that she gave me money.


I responded by letting her know that, firstly... Her assertion is not possible bcus there's no way she'd give me money, and secondly a man telling his family that he gave his wife money and a woman doing the same thing are two different things entirely, the weight of the words are not the same.

Note : last year i bought fridge for her mom 350k and no single soul in my family knew, until this very hour, i sent her mom 70k too, in which the highest amount i have ever sent my own mom is 50k, I have bought her 5 phones in a space of two years.


Also, my mom have been dreaming of using an android phone ever since, and i eventually bought her a phone, but before even surprising her, my wife said she liked the phone and she took it and started using it, i told her to give me her older phone so I can give my mom and until date she refused, she's still using both phones until this very moment and my mom is using a touch light phone that she bought with her own money from her little savings. It's been almost a year now and i have only brought up the issue twice about her hijacking phone the phone that I bought for my mom, all to herself knowing fully well that It'd make my mom happy because she have been dreaming of using an android phone, the two times i brought up the issue it doesn't always end up well, it's always endless quarrel.



I just want to know if her behaviour is normal, or I'm i the one not seeing anything bad in what i did? Because this girl have manipulated me to the point that I have started seeing every ordinary little thing as a big deal, all thanks to her. How can a normal human being get angry because a man told his mom that he gave his wife money to start up a business. I really want to know if I'm the one seeing all of these in a wrong way or if she's right.

I can't continue reading this, sorry.
I used to think I am not smart, I didn't know there are guys like you out there.
As in, you find it difficult to raise 5k for your mum but you gave your wife 5m and she borrowed her friend 1.5m from it.
Hmnnnn....
Does your wife gives you BJ everyday?

Blood of Jesus!!!!! 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

I hope your story is fake, otherwise you're a very wicked son towards your mom. Your mom needs 5k and you've refused to send her. You say things are really hard for you but you gave your wife 5m, who has given her friend 1.5m from it. Can you make that make sense? Imagine if you had given your mom that 1.5m or set it aside to be giving her to take care of her. Your mom also needs a new phone but your wife took it. Honestly, I hope your story is fake because you're a disappointment of a son if this is truly how you're treating your mom.

zyzxx:
Go and take good care of your mother, don't do what you will regret

You can give your wife 5m, you can't get your monter a smart phone, bro you aren't making sense



She took your mum phone for what reason! Bro! (Abeg, she don get 5m, collect the phone today and give your mother) That's selfishness ejor

I don't care what goes on between you and your wife, but whatever little that mama can enjoy for the reward of her labor, pls, don't deprive her...

Don't do what you will regret

Peace out

In all my life and day to day existence, I have never seen this level of selfishness ever before. Most painful thing is the fact that she's very manipulative, each time I brought up the fact that the phone i bought for my mom she hijacked it to herself and refused to give me her older phone to give to my mom, it always end up in endless quarrel and more manipulative talks... The thing just dey pain me this evening, when i sit down dey think am.

Sonnobax15:

Imagine you can't give the mother who birthed you 5k but you were able to give one woman 5m simply because she's your wife . Bro,the only pain I've got right now is that I'm sharing the same masculinity with you .

Boss, things were tough, i stated that i sold my land before i could raise the 5m that i gave to her to start up a business. Nevertheless, you're somewhat right, It doesn't make any sense logically, giving my wife 5m and not being able to help my mom with 5k, most especially the treatment for her leg she's been battling for years.

ManknowThyself:
Abeg I nor get advice for you, no advice, no no no no advice for you man.


Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit and God forbid me to advice you Mr husband of the generation.


When your mama won come enjoy her suffer for your life?

You get business of your own?

Why will you sell a land for 6m without investment of 3m in yourself before settling her own?

These are just questions you have to ask yourself.


Haven’t said that, your wife has no business for what you do or buy for your mum to the extent of taking the phone you bought for her. Then never born and will never born that woman to try that with me with my mum.

This is not love , rather low self esteem, lack of self respect, lose of masculinity and dignity as a man.

I don't have a business of my own

I sat down this evening, and started thinking hard regarding the phone i bought for my mom and she took it and started using it, herself. One of the reason i was forced to create this thread. Each time I bring the issue it always end up in quarrel and her usual manipulative talks. Na now i dey know say i nor be man, from the comments I have seen here, I hate myself right now for being so weak and spineless.

sacajawea:
Fake story. Not true

Okay