₦airaland Forum

pigmania:
She still lives with her parents o, 22 years old, I give her money to make her hair too. But she gives me access to her body and it's the tightest I've ever had. Wetin man go do?

Na trade but don't overpay.... cause some guys might be somewhere not paying anything for same body..abi no be naija banny again?

pocohantas:
It is not wrong for him to ask.
She shouldn't even be asked before doing it. She has eyes, she has a brain and most importantly a conscience. She should know where to step in. I wouldn't know the dynamics of their marriage, but with the information on ground, she is a female drac. I saw some on Facebook planning to hike school fees. As Nigeria hard so, they want to give their husbands double high bp.

No right-thinking woman should be used to "not supporting". It doesn't make sense or sound right. He should also confirm that is the actual fees, because from what I read online, some women add as high as 80k per child.

I dont know you but I've been a follower of you for a while. You are amazing especially when you deal with boys/men who always have negative things to say about African ladies.

Even what you said about the OP, some ladies might not agree with you but I want to say you are one of a kind. You, 'yours' and the little one are blessed. Keep on being like this. More blessings 🙏🏿

pigmania:
Women of these days are not fit for marriage. They lie, cheat, act very selfish and greedy. Any man wey carry karashika put for house, na him sabi, most of them are ungrateful. My girlfriend asked me last Friday evening what she was gaining from the relationship, but I sent her money that same day in the morning to purchase her cosmetics. If men go fit conquer konji, it is good for a man not to marry oo.

Just imagine

Even Kobojunkie wey been dey always dey legalistic, she sef done open eye wiiiiide so far na man matter be the topic...Nigerian women these days are ready to scrape all your bone-marrow, if you like no guard yourself

pigmania:
She still lives with her parents o, 22 years old, I give her money to make her hair too. But she gives me access to her body and it's the tightest I've ever had. Wetin man go do?

na adult write this thing so? na like this una dey use spoil women making it seem sex is a big deal tomorrow u go come dey seek for advice with your own story

Sirianese:
Just imagine

Even Kobojunkie wey been dey always dey legalistic, she sef done open eye wiiiiide so far na man matter be the topic...Nigerian women these days are ready to scrape all your bone-marrow, if you like no guard yourself

Ah that question really opened my eyes. She still asked me for some money to make her hair on Sunday. I told her to go ask her dad or brothers, until she learns to appreciate the little things, she dey apologize since then, say she no really mean those words. I dey on guard like this o.

tunize:
na adult write this thing so? na like this una dey use spoil women making it seem sex is a big deal tomorrow u go come dey seek for advice with your own story

I laugh at guys who say they never pay for sekkxxx$. When you take her out to eat, to the movies, subscribe data for her, allow her use your wifi for free, offer her nice refreshments at your place and more, that's the payment right there bro.

life has taught me something, in whatever you do prioritize yourself to avoid regretting anything. I'm not saying one should be inhuman or selfish but there're some level of sacrifice you don't make for people irrespective of whom they are. money does not change anyone it only brings out the true inbuilt character of people especially greedy or people with hidden MOTIVES because we still have people who are rich, sane and considerate.

In the case of this OP like someone asked and wondered if these people never dated of course they did and we also need to understand people change too. the question here is before you both got married was she a giver while you both dated? does she gift you, spends her money on you etc?. did you have an open communication about financial responsibilities if eventually you get married? if yes what was her response? while dating were you shouldering even the most basic thing she could have been able to provide for herself i mean most basic?

I'm not here to judge or fault you, but if I may ask why did you hand over the job to her instead of taking it? is it that you were doing so well before now or she was the most qualified for the job? why sell your source of income knowing fully well you're not stable financially just to ease her movement to work? does this decision of yours concerns the children maybe because they commune together? just Imagine it was an opportunity to travel outside the country for a better life I guess you would have asked her to go why you stay behind and these would have also been how it ends i guess you'd be lamenting and living in regret.

The fastest way to scatter your marriage is to demand she tells you how much she earns or you trying to take control of her finance by telling her the way to go about spending her money that is a wrong move based on what you wrote out here she will never and would rather walk away.(my money is my money, your money is our money)

As a man you're suppose to be a leader and not wave your YES should be your YES and your NO should be your NO. I would have asked you to sit her down and tell her you want a change of school for the kids but i don't see any need for that because she is a grown adult with brain to see you're struggling financially and should be able to support without you asking. Bros as a man make your decision change the children school nor go fall do as your power reach because if you die omon your wife go dey alright.

Its the op I blame. You were building yourself but stopped to build someone else. Now they have left you behind. Always focus on you cos your growth benefits the family. Their benefit to the family is optional. When they do chip in they mostly rub it in your face. Retrace your steps.

Responsibility is far from some.

Anytime issue of supporting the family comes up, she flares up, whereas she sends money to family back home often (which am not critical of).

How can you take care of your extended family and ignore your nuclear family?

When the man dies from overworking himself and worrying, won't she take care of her children?

At the end, we all know what we're doing.

tunize:
na adult write this thing so? na like this una dey use spoil women making it seem sex is a big deal tomorrow u go come dey seek for advice with your own story

Men and sex na 5&6 .. some of them marry their enemies because of towtow, yansh and breasts.
Sex is such a big deal to men

Kobojunkie:
1. When you both married, did you have an agreement that required the woman to contribute to the financial burden in the marriage?

2. In the case that the marriage contract between the man and woman was entered into in the typical woman-submits-to-man, aka traditional marriage model, [b]then it is technically unmanly or wrong for the man to require the same woman now to turn around and take over part of his manly role of being the sole provider in the ma[/b]rriage. 😒😒

3. You never asked her before, probably because the agreement between you two was that you would be the sole financial provider in the marriage? If that is the case, then you may want to consider renegotiating your marriage contract or something, meaning you will need to take on some of her roles in the marriage as well. 😒😒

Who made the man a sole provider in a traditional marriage?

nickxtra:
Some women are terribly greedy and selfish

How can a husband asks his wife show concern and drop something to support atleast a part of one of the children's school fees/text books and she is resisting?

The husband has been repsonsible for the school fees and wellbeing of the 4 kids, but in this first term, the school fees have increased and the need to get a little support from a wife is creating discord.

The Federal government job the wife is doing was offered to her through the husband(originally meant for him), while the husband rather opted to be in the street hustling and in school too.

To cushion the effect of transportation, the husband had years sold his Bolt business car to buy a tokunbo car for her, as means of getting to and from work. Now the woman is working and at the same time running a side business, using the car as a support.

Anytime issue of supporting the family comes up, she flares up, whereas she sends money to family back home often (which am not critical of).

Out of the 4 kids, the husband has told her to take up a partial responsibility for one of them who is in JSS 3, because the fee is high.

Is it unmanly or wrong for a husband to call a wife to show support for children's school fees(at most partial support for one out of 4 kids)?

Or is she resisting this because she is used to not supporting before now, as i have never called for her support in any way before now?

I don't believe this story, it seems too fictional and cooked up!
Because no-1 you already know the character of who you married, so why go ahead to hand her a job, give her a car, and do all those things for her, without reaching a proper agreement with her, when you already know she's not an open hand type of person?
Or didn't you know you were supposed to communicate and re-structure the family expenses and work partern with her when you were doing all those things, and let her know the reason is because you wanted a helping hand?

DonEd:
Do u have any traits of reasonable thinking at all?

And who told you that moniker is reasônablē pls?

That moniker is not ABLE to REASøN abeg!

Dating is the right time to fix this issue not during marriage

Amumaigwe:
➜Who made the man a sole provider in a traditional marriage?

Men did that! Ask your fathers, and they would explain to you the "powers" they assumed came with that...the power to rule over the woman in marriage, they say. They built religions around this very belief. 😒😒

pocohantas:
It is not wrong for him to ask.
She shouldn't even be asked before doing it. She has eyes, she has a brain and most importantly a conscience. She should know where to step in. I wouldn't know the dynamics of their marriage, but with the information on ground, she is a female drac. I saw some on Facebook planning to hike school fees. As Nigeria hard so, they want to give their husbands double high bp.

No right-thinking woman should be used to "not supporting". It doesn't make sense or sound right. He should also confirm that is the actual fees, because from what I read online, some women add as high as 80k per child.

These things may sound surreal but it terrifies up the mind of any sensible person reading it.

It's just not easy for many married me today, because their spouse has joined league with people who ideologically wants the worse for them and their households.

Chukwu zoba anyị.

cassyrooy:
These things may sound surreal but it terrifies up the mind of any sensible person reading it.

It's just not easy for many married me today, because their spouse has joined league with people who ideologically wants the worse for them and their households.

Chukwu zoba anyị.

Nah, it is not even surreal. Many women are like that and it could be upbringing or personal conviction. However, the concept of marriage is for SUPPORT. You support him, he supports you. There is no reason to marry if you are not ready to play this role.

I believe the signs are always there. Problem is the man might have underestimated household expenses and how it compounds over time. So he feels he can handle it alone on an average income.

FutureFocus:
I always skip his comments and he seem to have a lot of energy to argue if you try to correct him

Sincerely my brother. That useless emoji he even uses at the end pisses me off!

rezy15:
Its the op I blame. You were building yourself but stopped to build someone else. Now they have left you behind. Always focus on you cos your growth benefits the family. Their benefit to the family is optional. When they do chip in they mostly rub it in your face. Retrace your steps.

Every one is attacking the woman.
Government workers, how much is their salary, I’m sure she is buying food stuffs and buying fuel too inside civil servant salary that is valueless.
Oga husband and wife should send their children to public school, to ease tension Biko.
Children gets sick once once which money will be spent.
Nigerians are suffering