₦airaland Forum

IF YOUR MONEY IS YOURS AND HIS MONEY IS OURS, WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU MARRYING HIM FOR?

There is nothing wrong with a woman having money. In fact, every woman should have the capacity to earn, save, invest and build something for herself.

Financial independence is valuable. The problem begins when financial independence is interpreted as “my resources belong exclusively to me, but your resources become a responsibility I am entitled to share.”

Imagine a woman earning ₦2 million every month while her husband earns ₦500,000. She says, “My money is my money. I worked for it.” Fine. But if the same woman expects the man to pay rent, school fees, provide food, handle emergencies, maintain the car, support both families and still prove that he is “a responsible man,” we should at least be honest about the arrangement. She is not asking for equality. She is asking to retain her income while assigning the traditional financial burden to him.

Now reverse the situation. Imagine the man earns ₦2 million while she earns ₦500,000. Suddenly, many people will say, “A man should take care of his family. Her money is her contribution, not her obligation.”

Why should the principle change simply because the gender changed?

A woman earning more than her husband is not a problem. A husband earning more than his wife is not a problem. The problem is when one person's financial strength is treated as personal property while the other person's financial strength is treated as a marital obligation.

Marriage is also too unpredictable for this mentality. A man can be wealthy when you marry him and lose his business five years later. He can lose his job, suffer a financial setback, make a bad investment or simply experience circumstances nobody anticipated.

The same thing can happen to a woman. If your commitment disappears the moment your partner's bank balance does, then perhaps what you were committed to was the lifestyle rather than the person.

There are countless marriages where women contributed significantly to their husbands' success. They supported businesses, sacrificed personal comfort, invested their own money, managed the home during difficult periods and encouraged their husbands when things were going badly. They did not see their husband's success as competition. They saw it as the family's success.

Men should be capable of doing the same for their wives.

If my wife becomes the bigger earner tomorrow, I should not feel threatened. If I become the bigger earner, she should not feel entitled to everything I make simply because I am the man.

The sensible question in marriage is not “Who earns more?”

It is “Are we building together?”

Because marriage is supposed to be a partnership, not a financial arrangement where one person keeps the benefits of independence while the other person carries the obligations of tradition.

Bring your money. I will bring mine. Let us decide together how to build our family, protect our future, invest, support each other and survive difficult seasons.

Money should be a tool for building a life together. It should never become a weapon for one spouse to establish superiority over the other.

If you genuinely want a partner rather than a provider, marry with the mentality of a partner too.

Why would a man put his eyes in his wife money/income in the first place?

A man is the head of the family, he should take care of the bills in the house, at least 90%, that’s his responsibility.

If you can’t take care of your wife/girlfriend let another man do the job. Don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty

Jennyclay:
Why would a man put his eyes in his wife money/income in the first place?

A man is the head of the family, he should take care of the bills in the house, at least 90%, that’s his responsibility.

If you can’t take care of your wife/girlfriend let another man do the job. Don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty

This is the kinda mentality we are talking about. Did you even read the post well.

We have had cases where a woman has money but hid it just because it's the man's responsibility, her own child died as a result of that mentality. You have the money why can't you save your own child but you refuse because it's not her responsibility. That js a very selfish attitude.

Jennyclay:
Why would a man put his eyes in his wife money/income in the first place?

A man is the head of the family, he should take care of the bills in the house, at least 90%, that’s his responsibility.

If you can’t take care of your wife/girlfriend let another man do the job. Don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty

. Jennyclay, honestly I pity any man who will ever pity you by marrying you . Imagine having this kind of archaic mentality in this digital era

Dey there dey put pressure on your man by not being supportive to him and watch how one sensible and responsible woman will gladly snatch him away from you

Kalatium:
This is the kinda mentality we are talking about. Did you even read the post well.

We have had cases where a woman has money but hid it just because it's the man's responsibility, her own child died as a result of that mentality. You have the money why can't you save your own child but you refuse because it's not her responsibility. That js a very selfish attitude.

. Bro,it seems you don't know who jennyclay is and what her own style of bitterness her feminism portrays .

Kalatium:
This is the kinda mentality we are talking about. Did you even read the post well.

We have had cases where a woman has money but hid it just because it's the man's responsibility, her own child died as a result of that mentality. You have the money why can't you save your own child but you refuse because it's not her responsibility. That js a very selfish attitude.

Biko, don’t get me wrong.

What I’m actually saying is that a man should remove his eyes from his wife’s money

Most men feel so reluctant and lazy when their woman earn more than them leaving all responsibilities on her. That’s wickedness

Sonnobax15:
. Jennyclay, honestly I pity any man who will ever pity you by marrying you . Imagine having this kind of archaic mentality in this digital era

Dey there dey put pressure on your man by not being supportive to him and watch how one sensible and responsible woman will gladly snatch him away from you

please stop all these

I know a situation whereby this man lazy called a family meeting and said the wife’s salary must enter his account else he would end the nonsense marriage.

What will you say about that?

Jennyclay:
Biko, don’t get me wrong.

What I’m actually saying is that a man should remove his eyes from his wife’s money

Most men feel so reluctant and lazy when their woman earn more than them leaving all responsibilities on her. That’s wickedness

Most men as how. Person go just dey talk lies. How many women actually earn more than their men. Even those who earn do they contribute?

Most will rather see the man they swore to be with (in sickness and health, for richer or poorer) suffer at difficult situations and still refuse to contribute a dime to me family. Money that is vanity at the end of life. Thing is as a woman, what are you hoarding the money for?

Jennyclay:
please stop all these

I know a situation whereby this man lazy called a family meeting and said the wife’s salary must enter his account else he would end the nonsense marriage.

What will you say about that?

And you think that one case is enough to generalize abi . You're talking as if we haven't heard of cases where the woman will be the one to be dictating how the man should be spending his salary . Especially those old retirees who lived their entire lives trying to please their wives

Marry a God-fearing and disciplined virgin; stay away from howloshos...and 90% of the issue is sertled.

For his money?

Nothing else.

In life, I have realized that family background, upbringing really matter in marriage

In my family, if you like study Cambridge, you must learn a skill so that you won't be a liability to anyone

Any woman that tries that with me is going back to her fathers house

Probably all this problems are coming from the men because many men loses their senses whenever they want to toast or have intimacy with women and they can promise all sorts of rubbish lifestyle just to impress her..
Number two don't rush marriage it might not end well because you are ignoring red flags out of desperation and that is why the said man end up with that useless lady...
There is limit to everything you will support the family when you become the only hope if your husband is drastically down, there are some men who go and borrow money outside when their wives have ×10 of what the husband is looking for, though everybody has their pattern of starting their marriage if not...

Hunger go kee you, you go run go your papa house chop.

In this kind of tinubulation ba, you are an helper and not a predator. So partner with your man and make things easier for him abeg.

Jennyclay:
Why would a man put his eyes in his wife money/income in the first place?

A man is the head of the family, he should take care of the bills in the house, at least 90%, that’s his responsibility.

If you can’t take care of your wife/girlfriend let another man do the job. Don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty

I thought you were feminist. What an anti feminist take.

Jennyclay:
Why would a man put his eyes in his wife money/income in the first place?

A man is the head of the family, he should take care of the bills in the house, at least 90%, that’s his responsibility.

If you can’t take care of your wife/girlfriend let another man do the job. Don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty

Girlfriend abi, nawa oooooo.

Jennyclay:
Why would a man put his eyes in his wife money/income in the first place?

A man is the head of the family, he should take care of the bills in the house, at least 90%, that’s his responsibility.

If you can’t take care of your wife/girlfriend let another man do the job. Don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty

Women like you are raised in homes with a "scarcity mindset"...

Easy to see..

Simple to use them and dump them.....they almost ALWAYS come from below average to poor backgrounds..

Fidelity is a far cry in hearts as yours..

morgstreme:
Women like you are raised in homes with a "scarcity mindset"...

Easy to see..

Simple to use them and dump them.....they almost ALWAYS come from below average to poor backgrounds..

Fidelity is a far cry in hearts as yours..

I have not seen anything expressed better on Nairaland today.

Any woman with that mentality has no business with marriage in the first place

Only a man who cannot think would accept such an arrangement

You see it's not the fault.of the.women who think this way. The moment you as a man agrees to such an arrangement you've already agreed to be a slave so dont complain

Honestly eh!! When I see the mentality of most girls/ladies! I can't stop thanking God for my wife!!! She has made things so easy for me!!!

On the other hand! Any man that tolerates such set up, especially when the resources is limited, is doing a great disservice to himself.
The notion that a man's money is for the family, while the wife's money is for her alone, is a big lie from the pit of hell.

Assuming the resources is there in abundance, then no qualms.

Honestly that statement have turned most Nigerian girls into leeching parasites with the mindset that every responsibility should be left for the man

That logic doesn't make sense again. The husband takes care of the heavy bills (rent, future mortgages, furnitures, electronics, fees, children upkeep, medicals).

The woman can be useful with groceries, food, internet, cable tv electricity etc with the man assisting with 20-50 percent depending on his balance to support her.
That way, the man is not unnecessarily burdened and under pressure to always meet up with expenses and can also have some freedom to explore more opportunities for the family.

Women are earning as much as men nowadays, any man settling for a liability for a wife has himself to blame.

Jennyclay:
Why would a man put his eyes in his wife money/income in the first place?

A man is the head of the family, he should take care of the bills in the house, at least 90%, that’s his responsibility.

If you can’t take care of your wife/girlfriend let another man do the job. Don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty

What happened to feminism? I thought we're all equal?

Men are not the head of the family ok. We're all equal and must do everything at home equally, 50-50

Jennyclay:
Why would a man put his eyes in his wife money/income in the first place?

A man is the head of the family, he should take care of the bills in the house, at least 90%, that’s his responsibility.

If you can’t take care of your wife/girlfriend let another man do the job. Don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty

E reach that one, you are quick to admit that men are the head just to avoid sharing your money with your man, but for other aspects, you feel you are equal to a man

PERSON WEY MARRY THIS ONE DON MARRY CASE

Jennyclay:
Why would a man put his eyes in his wife money/income in the first place?

A man is the head of the family, he should take care of the bills in the house, at least 90%, that’s his responsibility.

If you can’t take care of your wife/girlfriend let another man do the job. Don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty

Marriage! Marriage!! Marriage!!!
On the contrary, the world has shifted from this mentality.

Jennyglow don trigger the men😂😂

How many of such cases have you seen compared with how many women do that “my money is my money and your money is our money?

Jennyclay:
please stop all these

I know a situation whereby this man lazy called a family meeting and said the wife’s salary must enter his account else he would end the nonsense marriage.

What will you say about that?