₦airaland Forum

BlueRayDick:
For me, that's a red flag Sha. If the wife dies and is taken home for burial, there are chances that a panel will be set up grilling the husband like he's responsible for her death. (Even when there are medical records that explains cause of death)

Sometimes when parents tell their kids not to marry from one tribe or another, it's not necessarily because they are bigots.

Nah, that only happens if the man didn't fulfill traditional rites at the initial stage. If not, you will go unbothered. Funny it is now I am older that I am finding out a lot of older couples are "cohabiting". When their daughters want to marry, we have a rule the father must pay the mother's own. You will na see them rush the "marriage blessing" as they call it.

In my SIL's case, we didn't see it as a big deal and my brother was shining teeth. In his mind he married into a culture that values their daughters. SS people are quite matrilineal in their ways.

Godx:
A friend of mine whose family buried a relative said so. Renting a plot in mortuary, the fees, taxes and charges etc and you will have to pay regularly. Afrodoc, ibime and raum should be able to tell us if it's accurate.

It varies slightly depending on exact location and individual situation but it is in the same range.

If the extended family are not controllable and are likely to hijack the burial with extra billing it might be cheaper to bury overseas.

If the extended family are reasonable and hideous uncles and aunties won’t come crawling out of the woodwork with phantom rites and fees it might be cheaper to repatriate the body back to Nigeria

GrammarNazi1:
Even if the man paid the bride price in full, when the marriage scatters and the child is still young (even if the child is around 7 years, not even a toddler), a lot of women still take the child away.

This contradicts the tradition, but these women do whatever they like, especially as this aspect of their behaviour is backed by the law most often.

If a man does not pay the bride price and the woman dies, the woman's family members frustrate the man and the man gets no support from the law.

But even when the man pays the bride price in full and the marriage scatters, the woman, in her spite, decides to not follow the tradition and then she takes away the child even if the child is old enough to stay with the father.

I have seen this happen.

It becomes worse if the woman is from another tribe (another region) and she relocates the child to her region, far away from your region, practically denying you access to the child.

I know the next suggestion is that the man should take the issue to court, but it's even better to prevent certain issues from happening in the first place and to do this, men should carefully consider their choice of wives. Vet like your life depends on it because, in the real sense, it actually does.

You're absolutely correct. It's always a messy situation, especially for the man

I know a man who gave birth to only daughters. One of his daughters later got pregnant for a guy outside marriage. The guy was willing to go ahead to marry, but he refused.

He claimed the child as his, since no bride price was paid, and has refused th guy access to the boy.

Issues like these do not get much attention. The guy just has to hope that his son will come and look for him someday

izzou:
So ICC will not be a problem again?

I remember you creating a soft landing for our leaders when we asked for a head for a head.

I am also for death penalty for murderers

Swift one

Any of our leaders who commit 1st degree murder should be put to death

izzou:
You're absolutely correct. It's always a messy situation, especially for the man

I know a man who gave birth to only daughters. One of his daughters later got pregnant for a guy outside marriage. The guy was willing to go ahead to marry, but he refused.

He claimed the child as his, since no bride price was paid, and has refused th guy access to the boy.

Issues like these do not get much attention. The guy just has to hope that his son will come and look for him someday

Lol. Things dey happen...😂😂😂

izzou:
He claimed the child as his, since no bride price was paid, and has refused th guy access to the boy.

Issues like these do not get much attention. The guy just has to hope that his son will come and look for him someday

So on the birth certificate father's name was his and mother's name was his daughter

pocohantas:
Lol. Thing dey happen...😂😂😂

raumdeuter:
So on the birth certificate father's name was his and mother's name was his daughter

Obviously

I know a girl answering her mother's surname as hers.

Dem deny the papa access to the child. Na her mama surname she dey bear.

Things truly dey happen.

izzou:
All these things are just part of the culture. With time, some may be phased out, but we can agree that it's not a do or die affair, as Social media paints it.

And marriage is not even the worst of demands. What about burial?

There are cultures where if the woman die, you bury her at her father's place, not your (the husband's) place. Very common in some parts of the South South.

I may not like some cultural practices, but it's the variety of life. If everybody was upholding the same "sensible" practices, I wonder how interesting life would be

Yes, that's the culture where I come from. We believe we are only loaning you our daughter. When she dies, she returns to her family.

izzou:
Obviously

I know a girl answering her mother's surname as hers.

Dem deny the papa access to the child. Na her mama surname she dey bear.

Things truly dey happen.

So Grandpa is also Daddy? Wont it look like incest happened

.

raumdeuter:
Not everyone supports because they are seeking monetary gains. Unlike you that support Obi for what you hope to gain

You're becoming less and less sensible these days

How do you think that anyone will support Obi for monetary gains. Haven't you said that Obi doesn't give shishi?

Even Kenneth Okonkwo will explain to you better

Like I said, if you didn't get any Prados you be MM. Capital one 😂

raumdeuter:
People with sense know Nigeria problem didn't start in one day and will not end in one day

The problems started with people like Obi being in govt and instead of solving issues preferred to chop money and save money in banks he owned

You better stop supporting APC. It's affecting your cognitive sense. You're now sounding incoherent.

Ishilove:
Yes, that's the culture where I come from. We believe we are only loaning you our daughter. When she dies, she returns to her family.

sorry son - the bosoms are on loan only

GloriousGbola:
sorry son - the bosoms are on loan only

Mscheeeww 🤣

Spy360:
You're becoming less and less sensible these days

How do you think that anyone will support Obi for monetary gains. Haven't you said that Obi doesn't give shishi?

Even Kenneth Okonkwo will explain to you better

Like I said, if you didn't get any Prados you be MM. Capital one 😂

Obi only gives money to his family and his bank to steal for him

Spy360:
You better stop supporting APC. It's affecting your cognitive sense. You're now sounding incoherent.

You are supporting Obi that prefers to take advise form mad men

raumdeuter:
So on the birth certificate father's name was his and mother's name was his daughter

The truth is, in a tribe in Nigeria, this issue of the woman's family denying even a responsible biological father access to his child and the wife's father giving the child his own surname is not uncommon. It is very, very, very common. It is so common is is like a tradition to them.

Do not let anyone make you feel like it is an uncommon phenomenon.

BlueRayDick:
While you may be right on the semantics about the actual bride price and the full marriage list, methinks at the end marriage rites should not be something a man would spend most of his life savings and still require the help of relatives and friends to carry out.

Those items I do see on the full marriage list are just too much and sometimes inconsiderate. It sometimes looks like the bride's family don't mind throwing the groom into debt just beacuse he wants to get married to their daughter.

The bride price itself is usually 5k-100k, but the remaining items on the list can take everything to 2m-3m, I've seen a lot of ridiculous lists. By ridiculous I don't even mean the amount of the stuffs,but the items that are listed there. You see stuff like beers for all the youths in the town,bike for the mother of the bride,lots of funny stuff.

You spend 2m to procure most of the items in the list, and even then we have yet to talk about the main marriage expenses oh.

Na man do man sha.

Las las, the practice is still going on because men are still chesting it.

If na men like us full the country them for don abolish or reduce the stuff tey tey.

No matter how much I love you, I won't pay for those stuffs even if the money is there, if it doesn't make sense to me.

If people start absconding from marrying their daughters because of said list, they'll reduce it. It's just common sense.

PDPGuy:
Thank you sir

On that basis, i would say the actual bride price in Igbo land doesn’t exceed 25k

That would be correct.

TemporaryHansel:
The bride price itself is usually 5k-100k, but the remaining items on the list can take everything to 2m-3m, I've seen a lot of ridiculous lists. By ridiculous I don't even mean the amount of the stuffs,but the items that are listed there. You see stuff like beers for all the youths in the town,bike for the mother of the bride,lots of funny stuff.

You spend 2m to procure most of the items in the list, and even then we have yet to talk about the main marriage expenses oh.

Na man do man sha.

Las las, the practice is still going on because men are still chesting it.

If na men like us full the country them for don abolish or reduce the stuff tey tey.

No matter how much I love you, I won't pay for those stuffs even if the money is there, if it doesn't make sense to me.

If people start absconding from marrying their daughters because of said list, they'll reduce it. It's just common sense.

Yeah, you are right. It's because despite complains about such ridiculous lists, some men still find ways to chest it (even to the extent they go into debt), that's why you see the family and even the bride say things like "MEN DEY!"

GrammarNazi1:
The truth is, in a tribe in Nigeria, this issue of the woman's family denying even a responsible biological father access to his child and the wife's father giving the child his own surname is not uncommon. It is very, very, very common. It is so common is is like a tradition to them.

Do not let anyone make you feel like it is an uncommon phenomenon.

All these ones na for brokies. That's why we tell people to make sure they are financially stable before putting themselves in some situations, but the love of t*t* will not make some men think straight.
You don't have bar and you're getting people's daughter pregnant or rushing into marriage. What are you rushing into marriage to do?


What you described earlier is illegal. If it is taken to any court of law, the father of the girl will be seriously reprimanded. The fact that your friend hasn't taken that action and instead waiting for the child to grow up and hoping the child will come back to him, tells me he doesn't hold bar.

TemporaryHansel:
All these ones na for brokies. That's why we tell people to make sure they are financially stable before putting themselves in some situations, but the love of t*t* will not make some men think straight.
You don't have bar and you're getting people's daughter pregnant or rushing into marriage. What are you rushing into marriage to do?


What you described earlier is illegal. If it is taken to any court of law, the father of the girl will be seriously reprimanded. The fact that your friend hasn't taken that action and instead waiting for the child to grow up and hoping the child will come back to him, tells me he doesn't hold bar.

I didn't share that story, so not my friend.

raumdeuter:
How does it make sense to lock a female with a man in the first place if that really happened

These people I keep saying it they have more sympathy for criminals than victims. It's almost by design atp

If he was permanently jailed or executed will he be around to commit another crime?

It's ironic that the only people they want dead are people that say things that they don't like like Trump, Kirk, Pat McAfee not actual criminals

What is the cause of this epileptic supply these days? Make I no if I go abandon gen go buy VDM power tank.

swiz123:
What is the cause of this epileptic supply these days? Make I no if I go abandon gen go buy VDM power tank.

It'd continue like this until February/March. It's the cyclical supply of electricity that often coincides with the start of harmattan.

Theflint1:
It'd continue like this until February/March. It's the cyclical supply of electricity that often coincides with the start of harmattan.

Explain in details abeg

Theflint1:
It'd continue like this until February/March. It's the cyclical supply of electricity that often coincides with the start of harmattan.

Before this minister of darkness was appointed,I have never seen anything like this.

TemporaryHansel:
The bride price itself is usually 5k-100k, but the remaining items on the list can take everything to 2m-3m, I've seen a lot of ridiculous lists. By ridiculous I don't even mean the amount of the stuffs,but the items that are listed there. You see stuff like beers for all the youths in the town,bike for the mother of the bride,lots of funny stuff.

You spend 2m to procure most of the items in the list, and even then we have yet to talk about the main marriage expenses oh.

Na man do man sha.

Las las, the practice is still going on because men are still chesting it.

If na men like us full the country them for don abolish or reduce the stuff tey tey.

No matter how much I love you, I won't pay for those stuffs even if the money is there, if it doesn't make sense to me.

If people start absconding from marrying their daughters because of said list, they'll reduce it. It's just common sense.

Funny you guys are discussing this just 2 weeks after Ebonyi people extorted my brother 1.7M in marriage rites.

I wonder the kind of love that made him part with that amount to hungry in laws. It’s ridiculous especially knowing that 90% of people in that village don’t have anything close to that amount.

I just learnt that some cultures are now flexible to accommodate extortion depending on how the supposed in law is perceived.

Theflint1:
It'd continue like this until February/March. It's the cyclical supply of electricity that often coincides with the start of harmattan.

Don't come with that myth of low power supply in dry season because of low water levels at kainji and shiroro hydropower station dam.

NERC has confirmed that less 30% of power on the National grid is generated through hydropower, while around 70% is from thermal Power stations.

So explain this cyclical thing u are talking about.

swiz123:
Funny you guys are discussing this just 2 weeks after Ebonyi people extorted my brother 1.7M in marriage rites.

I wonder the kind of love that made him part with that amount to hungry in laws. It’s ridiculous especially knowing that 90% of people in that village don’t have anything close to that amount.

I just learnt that some cultures are now flexible to accommodate extortion depending on how the supposed in law is perceived.

The thing is everything is subjective. The 1.7m could be like 1700 naira to him , so he'll reason "it's nothing to me, why not just pay".

I believe there are only two reasons making some men chest it, either the money is nothing to them or too much love shacking them.

Na them know sha. Even if the stuffs on the list is a drop in the ocean to me, I won't pay it. They either reduce it to something reasonable or marry their daughter themselves.


I used to spend with the mindset of "it's nothing, it's just a drop in the ocean, it has no effect to me" until I met the current HOR member of my area who is a confirmed naira billionaire, man has a rolls royce and yet is so money conscious, he thinks twice before spending money. He labels people who spend because they can afford it "financial illiterates" , the man's views has shaped my life differently.

swiz123:
Before this minister of darkness was appointed,I have never seen anything like this.

Me too
Infact this is supposed to be the time electricity is very good

iamoyindamola:
Explain in details abeg

Reduced rainfall means Kainji and other dams can't generate as much electricity as they did during rainy season.

Fit no be exact reason, but I know this period dey always come with reduced supply, and that seems like the only plausible explanation.