₦airaland Forum

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My friend came to pay me a visit 15yrs ago we were waiting for the c3 bus from shepard bush to Kensington
Other people were waiting for the bus immediately the bus arrived the guy rush the door thinking he was in lagos he was even running to the bus still in motion then when he jumped in realizing how everyone was on a straight line he kept quiet when we got to our destination he asked the driver were the conductor was so he could pay

First time i was in Copahagen, i stepped one foot on zebra crossing while chatting with friends by the road not knowing i have caused traffic because zebra crossing is well respected abroad.

[color=#1998BC] Had me a mouthful of snow...Just fulfilling a childhood dream[/color]

..

my own dey funny ooo,as a dey waka in my street with my uncle,con see how a dey look left and right as person wey dey mad,I dey carry Camera dey snap everything wey I see,I just dey snap pix with any oyinbo wey I see.
wen we reach our house,na hin my uncle dey yab me sey a dey embarass ham......

ichidodo: [color=#1998BC] Had me a mouthful of snow...Just fulfilling a childhood dream[/color]

I still av that dream too.. Hope it will come to pass ooo.

I de use eye look who de my front so I hardly make mistakes,

Mine was,

Wearing shirt and sweater when I first got to amsterdam mid winter (I think say winter na a.c I no no say na deep freezer people de leave)

Going to shop and asking where to keep my existing bags (a 'la Nigerian method of preventing shoplifting)

Eating "all I can eat" anytime I lodge with "all you can eat breakfast"

Wondering why people clean their tables and clear the plates in mc donalds

Going to Paris with a 3 word french vocabulary (luckily d Babe I carry na Canadian na she save my life, I for suffer)

Crossing to the left, right and left again in London to determine where to board the bus and not being sure which way to look when crossing (them de drive for the wrong side)

Throwing food in the recycle bin and vexing when they carry everybody's own and not mine

Keeping cartons outside next to the dustbin and getting a "fly tipping" warning

Getting scammed of 100£ by an Indian "guru" in birmingham

Buying expensive food I don't understand it's name/contents and pretending I enjoyed it

Buying lyca, lebara and giffgaff on landing in London in case of "bad network"


Smiling and nodding when I don't get the bloody accents (not changing mine for anything too)


Standing at the left side of the escalator (especially at Euston station) and wondering; Why all the hate?

To be continued....

I remember when i came in first, i was asked to take the trash out, i took it out and emptied the content then returned the bin bag back to be used another time.. If you see shout wey my uncle shout for my head ehn...

Pstsmith: lol...has anyone seen my twitter handel

pstsmith abeg wetin b handel? E dey get colour?

Pstsmith: lol...has anyone seen my twitter handel

Nope, na when e lose?

* Taking only one (1) meat when serving food from the pot.

* My first visit was during summer (August) and I slept with a leather jacket and thick socks. The summer cold die.

* Trying to use cold water to have a shower like I normally did in Uni. I almost died.

* Didnt know I had to wave my hand for a bus to stop at a Request stop. The bus didnt stop and just went past. I started crying and I thought to myself it was cause I was black.

ichidodo: [color=#1998BC] Had me a mouthful of snow...Just fulfilling a childhood dream[/color]

. Lol. I did that too

u wicked .

olumidazz: I remember for up to 10 days each time I wake up I go rush pick my cloths go iron thinking of nepa immidiately after which I will remember nepa no dey 4 atlanta.

on ma way to borno state

Ok na, no be some years ago when I from ekok enter limbe, as we arrive for morning as I see mama put joint I enter, come give the woman 200 cfa equivelent of say #50 and everybody was looking at me, and the woman come bring out this very big plate and started heaping this rice and I did not see anyother customer around ask what is this and she said you and that she is going to use another plate to put my beans i did not know what to do again because I was not acting like i am new in town

Ok na, no be some years ago when I from ekok enter limbe, as we arrive for morning as I see mama put joint I enter, come give the woman 200 cfa equivelent of say #50 and everybody was looking at me, and the woman come bring out this very big plate and started heaping this rice and I did not see anyother customer around ask what is this and she said you and that she is going to use another plate to put my beans i did not know what to do again because I was not acting like i am new in town make una no ves o, cameroun na outside country o.

gnot: on ma way to borno state

congratulations bro. travelling abroad from naija to republic of bokoharam no easy.
please don't pick akara for ground ooooo, Na bomb. and dont kpekush their mata

My own? When i piss for toilet, instead of me to just flush the toilet straight, i carry container, on water for sink, come dey scoop water dey pour for toilet. When my cousins catch me... Damn that was embarrassing. I also remember walking on the streets of hackney and i sneeze openly. Na so oyibo people dey give me gap, some even crossed to the other side of the road. I didn't know that disposable plates were thrown away. Na so i dey keep them under bed. Chai! Na that experience make me know say lagos na JUNGLE. Though some of these happened. many years ago sha.

olumidazz: I remember for up to 10 days each time I wake up I go rush pick my cloths go iron thinking of nepa immidiately after which I will remember nepa no dey 4 atlanta.

Lol

It was my first time in london (August 2010), went to Mac donalds and requsted for a plate of fried rice and chicken. Ma bro laughed the sh*t out of me that very day. He even made a joke off that at a party we went to in Dagenham then.

lol.......


let's keep it coming..
confesson time...don't be shy

zonax: It was my first time in london (August 2010), went to Mac donalds and requsted for a plate of fried rice and chicken. Ma bro laughed the sh*t out of me that very day. He even made a joke off that at a party we went to in Dagenham then.

Bleep up ... you for order for moi moi na

Tschew! OP, are you sure you've left the shores of Nigeria before?

BTW, who attends an outing and starts to pick bottles in Nigeria? Maybe Yaba left escapees like the OP

Bros,na Norway u dey?

henryboff: Bros picking bottle make sense for where I dey oo. The bottle na money ooo so nothing strange about that. I know some guys wey dey make more than 50K naira equivalent from pickin bottle.

I remember the first time I travelled to the United Kingdom. Was quite young then. Whenever the hostesses (Beautiful Creatures) came to I & my sister with the 'buffalo' asking what we would like to eat & drink..... Didn't hear a word of what she said apart from salad & lemonade (though she mentioned other choices as well). Throughout the flight, I kept asking for salad & lemonade for myself & younger sister who was sat next to me. Although it was a day I'd never forget, I learnt one thing though....being bloated from the lemonade (fizzy drinks in general) didn't go well with my flatulence-inducing salad (depending on your bowels).....the rest is history
Sometimes on thinking back after hearing some friends' experiences, you wonder how quickly things have changed.
I Rep Bolton (Trotter for Life)
Luv the Geordie accent btw

Subconsciously, I iron my clothes as soon as I finish washing so NEPA don't strike.

kemzykoko: I still av that dream too.. Hope it will come to pass ooo.

[color=#1998BC] As long as you holdfast to your dreams, why not? and i could give you heads up what to look for snowwise *wink wink*[/color]

Iceslizer: . Lol. I did that too

[color=#1990BC] Lol.How was it? Taste like chicken??[/color]

ngbede69: I remember when i came in first, i was asked to take the trash out, i took it out and emptied the content then returned the bin bag back to be used another time.. If you see shout wey my uncle shout for my head ehn...

which bush you come from self

No mind me joor

Going to Edinburgh and eating Indian food...

and farting for the next 2 days non stop

Now If I see "Indian food" for signboard sef fear de enter my bone

I really can't stop laughing. Funny thread