₦airaland Forum

bigx: Crossing to the left, right and left again in London to determine where to board the bus and not being sure which way to look when crossing (them de drive for the wrong side)


Keeping cartons outside next to the dustbin and getting a "fly tipping" warning


Smiling and nodding when I don't get the bloody accents (not changing mine for anything too)

The first one is just epic stuff.... Wish I could have recorded & put it on youtube (overnight celeb)
You are lucky with the second; some get a fine instantly.
Third one, I did that as well but those talking with you will eventually talk slowly hence making you seem retarded mentally. Btw, ur accent changes on it own & thanks for staying truthful (seen countless even grown men trying to change it and most times, you try to stop yourself from laughing...classic)

PocketEconomist: My own? When i piss for toilet, instead of me to just flush the toilet straight, i carry container, on water for sink, come dey scoop water dey pour for toilet. When my cousins catch me... Damn that was embarrassing. I also remember walking on the streets of hackney and i sneeze openly. Na so oyibo people dey give me gap, some even crossed to the other side of the road. I didn't know that disposable plates were thrown away. Na so i dey keep them under bed. Chai! Na that experience make me know say lagos na JUNGLE. Though some of these happened. many years ago sha.

Abeg which Village u been commot from? Na una like this dey make am dey like say Nija and kwuvuki land na one

K

My first nyt abroad when I woke up d next morning I started greeting my people in d house good morning but they didn't respond and my friend came to me and say "u think say nah 9ja u dey" u just tell dem hello.


The second thing was that I went to shoprite to but somtin dem I pay and d cashier gave me change I was like u no go give me lylon and d lady was just looking at me I now took d lylon and she ask me to pay I said for what I tot it was a joke, then I turn back am move before I know the security stop me and accuse me of stealing plastic I reply did u see any plastics in my hand not knowing lylon is called (plastic). I phoned my freind and tell him guy imagine dey tell me make I pay for lylon dem e laugh and say to me u think say 9ja b dis, I was so embarrassed.

I went to Niger republic.....make i continue?

IamDebola: Yeah.. The bottle wey dey my house nw.. if na naija, believe me person fit take am start business..
Though you return some, but some na buy and never return am..
Especially Pepsi product, I'm a big fan of mountain dew, if you see mountain dew bottles wey dey my place.. even 7up company for naija go envy me..

go check yourself for Diabetes

Na Laugh: go check yourself for Diabetes

Okay bros mi..

My was in d flight to johannesburg n dis hottess came to me. She mentiond d recipes available to us believ u me i cudnt grab a word i jst noded n said yes. She left n came back servin me vegeterian food. I no get choice d food be like say i dy drink water. Tasteless york!

Funny and educative about ways of life and rules in foreign land for prospective travellers which am part of.

Went on a business trip to the Uk my first time.

1. I arrived at heathrow, i took the underground train service via piccadilly line and arrived at straford. I then proceeded to take a black cab. men as I balance inside the cab, the man started driving

I asked him how much he told me the couter will decided ... oboy as the jouney progress my mind no rest... i just dey watch as the couter dey count... as e dey move i dey automatically convert am to naira kai...

We con jamb go slow. Mehn i begin dey sweat after he knak me bill for that trip. I stayed away from black cabs. I chose buses and subway all the way.

I had issues adjusting to their food I remember entering a posh bar and ordering one nice sounding meal... mehn as the food arrive i nearly vomit. I had to abandon the food.

I also remember strugging to get a bottled water at one of the fridges at heathrow, I was looking for the sales girl...untill discoverd it was automatic, i put in two pounds in the machine expecting change.. na so i wait tire. i con bone the change commot... jare.

Thank God say no be only me jones o, I enter bus, give the driver 5 pound, the fair na 2 pound, the guy say him no fit give me change say I gats hold 2 pounds. No small shop nearby, na big stores like co-operative, sanburry n stuff dem dey, if I wan buy bread, I dey shame to waka go that kind big store say na only bread I wan go buy. I chop bread, eggs, beacon n sausage every morning, ham n eggs for afternoon, evening I go wait till six o clock then I go call Chinese restaurant order king prawn rice. Na so I live for close 2 2 months, cos I no fit think of another food I fit easily chop, if I smell egg now I fit vomit.

nopecin: My first nyt abroad when I woke up d next morning I started greeting my people in d house good morning but they didn't respond and my friend came to me and say "u think say nah 9ja u dey" u just tell dem hello.


The second thing was that I went to shoprite to but somtin dem I pay and d cashier gave me change I was like u no go give me lylon and d lady was just looking at me I now took d lylon and she ask me to pay I said for what I tot it was a joke, then I turn back am move before I know the security stop me and accuse me of stealing plastic I reply did u see any plastics in my hand not knowing lylon is called (plastic). I phoned my freind and tell him guy imagine dey tell me make I pay for lylon dem e laugh and say to me u think say 9ja b dis, I was so embarrassed.

so dem dey pay for plastic bag? na waooo abeg more first timer tins mke i dey get my own ico now

sugaarbear: Yawnnss....boring trend

My dear it's thread nt 'trend'

These bring back memories . Lemme see

Not knowing which direction to face on the train to avoid the feeling of 'reverse traveling'

Not clearing the table at McDonalds

I was pleasantly shocked at people holding the door open for you

Trying to enter the taxi from the drivers side

Being amazed at self-checkout at stores

Saying cheers all the friggin time instead of thank you

dotcom_na_me_na_me: I remember my first party outing in London 9 years ago, i was helping the celebrant picking some empty drinking bottles so as to keep them safe not to get broken. LOL



Everyone were looking at me and asking me if i am okay ! LOL

Same thing happened to a friend of mine that just arrive here few days ago. I couldn't stop laughing until a lady calmly excused him and told him its not done like that here, but in Nigeria

Anyone with similar?

Mine was about the electric and ironing. As soon as I unpacked , I started ironing! My host ask me why didn't(don't) I rest etc, I said I need to take advantage of the light before it goes off... u should hear his laughter and my embarrassment when he explained that light out is rare here

my second day in america i went to burger king, then i order for chicken n chips, lol. na that day i fool myself pass, the lady be "xcuse me" i repeat myself again n again. later i come dey get frustrated. na him i start to point oo, na him say scream say " oh! u mean French fries?" i come dey look like mumu, stylishly na him comot there. to found out later say na wings n fries na dem dey call am here, beside BK dont sell wings .see jonzing

Matthew briggs: Went on a business trip to the Uk my first time.

1. I arrived at heathrow, i took the underground train service via piccadilly line and arrived at straford. I then proceeded to take a black cab. men as I balance inside the cab, the man started driving

I asked him how much he told me the couter will decided ... oboy as the jouney progress my mind no rest... i just dey watch as the couter dey count... as e dey move i dey automatically convert am to naira kai...

We con jamb go slow. Mehn i begin dey sweat after he knak me bill for that trip. I stayed away from black cabs. I chose buses and subway all the way.

I had issues adjusting to their food I remember entering a posh bar and ordering one nice sounding meal... mehn as the food arrive i nearly vomit. I had to abandon the food.

I also remember strugging to get a bottled water at one of the fridges at heathrow, I was looking for the sales girl...untill discoverd it was automatic, i put in two pounds in the machine expecting change.. na so i wait tire. i con bone the change commot... jare.

You are not alone in keeping the mentality that the timer is working fast and against me! Sometimes I still ask the cabby, if there is no faster way etc.lol... thats funny

I remember also my 1st plane trip from Germany to Mexico, I kept all the buns, mayonnaise, milk, butter and some of the soda given me, and feasted on them like a week! Funny now, but it make sense at that time. I figure more or less, they come with the ticket, why not take now and eat later. And they helped me a lot, 'cause I couldn't speak a word of Spanish, don't know where to get what, and when I got to one restaurant, I couldn't see any word familiar,no picture, nothing. It was hell. I had to ask around for who speaks english to tell me what is rice, and I was told it was arrossi,and I said oh mine , I should have recollect the phrase " iresi aroso" from back then in naija!

Ahahah very funny here

One funny thing I did was to go and collect my Professors bag like we do in Nigeria helping the elders carry their bags. the man probably thought I wanted to steal his bag or mayb I was crazy sef. Lol

My first time in Benin republic (@least na abroad self) was surprised @ the number of okadas there and how well behaved the riders were, almost got lost due to language ish and I could remember ordering bread at a restaurant and to my surprise I saw the lady stuffing it with something dat looks like okro and ewedu, oboi I dumped the food inside waste bin go find soft drink and biscuits chop, it was fun thou cuz their girlz like nigerians die

Tbillz: I went to Niger republic.....make i continue?

Nope! No bother

First time ïn Germany, goin 2 my skul, culdn't remember d town my skul was located, on a train frm Berlin. Was lucky to see a cameroon babe that gave me directions wit butchered english mixed wit french, mixed wit deutsche. Lol, i still got lost though. Wit no phone( or rather German sim card) to call my skul, had to use my 'Wafi sharpness' to locate d skul.

Lmao...I reminds me of ma adventures in LESOTHO!!!

L๏L...... Funny thread,make ah dey learn sha.

once I land 4 new york airport 4 yankee dia, 1st thing na 2 look 4 korrrect white oyibo (not black oo!) NYPD officer land am better mushin-shomolu xpressway slap so dat dem gor lock me 4 dia penitentiary, jez 4 3weeks only

From Barking took Hammersmith and city Line, arrived at Paddington and joined another train to Reading.

Nah so I go enter first class coach o.

I was the only black dude on the train, this old lady came over and told me I was seating on her seat- that it was reserved.

Na so I jump enter another seat- then a average aged man came, told me I was on his seat, jumped to the third seat. Another person came and said the same.

People were just looking at me. I was so so embarrassed- I just stood up and waited at the rear until the train started moving. Looked for an empty seat and jumped in- pretended to sleep all the way.

Funny thread

I remember my first winter in New York. I went outside without gloves on so when i came home from school my hands were freezing so i went to the bathroom thinking to myself that what would make my hands warm up fast? "hot water"
When i turned the faucet on and the hot water touched my hand, Worst pain ever. I then went to tell my mother what just happened to me. Not only did she laugh at me but she also told me of a grown man who was crying like a child because he did the same thing i did.

I also remember being lost while riding the subway. I had one fare and i was supposed to go uptown but accidentally got on the down town line. To top it off i didn't wait for the station where i can transfer to the uptown line for free. So i got off the train on 135th street in Manhattan while i lived on 174th street in the bronx. I decided to do the math and i calculated 39 blocks to walk. I thought to my self 39 blocks is nothing we wey dey waka for Naija well well. so i started walking. unknown to me i didn't account for the non number streets, the dead end roads and bridges. By the time i got home, instead of some sympathy, my mother (correct yoruba woman) started yelling at me saying i just got here and i'm already hanging out with gangs. my sisters then started laughing at me. i just said i got lost and i went to bed

Matthew briggs: Went on a business trip to the Uk my first time.

1. I arrived at heathrow, i took the underground train service via piccadilly line and arrived at straford. I then proceeded to take a black cab. men as I balance inside the cab, the man started driving

I asked him how much he told me the couter will decided ... oboy as the jouney progress my mind no rest... i just dey watch as the couter dey count... as e dey move i dey automatically convert am to naira kai...

We con jamb go slow. Mehn i begin dey sweat after he knak me bill for that trip. I stayed away from black cabs. I chose buses and subway all the way.

I had issues adjusting to their food I remember entering a posh bar and ordering one nice sounding meal... mehn as the food arrive i nearly vomit. I had to abandon the food.

I also remember strugging to get a bottled water at one of the fridges at heathrow, I was looking for the sales girl...untill discoverd it was automatic, i put in two pounds in the machine expecting change.. na so i wait tire. i con bone the change commot... jare.

Lwkmd... rolling.............