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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike (6613 Views)
My Gay Life In Nigeria - Isolation, Danger & Fear Homophobia Stirred By Politici / Couples' Kissing Contest: Would It Fly In Naija? / Hidden Secret In Marriage (2) (3) (4)
How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nuahall2k14(m): 3:38pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Let’s face d fact,you are gay and there is nothing u can do about it.The FG now says that its 14yrs in jail and that further complicates the matter.Dont worry I am here to educate you on how to keep your gay life secret. First, you have to go and get a girlfriend even if you are not attracted to her. It’s just for a short period. You can always pay off a prostitute to act as one if u can’t get one. The next thing is to shoot a sex tape.why do u need a sex tape? Ok you need that incase if you are eventually suspected of being gay and taken to court under that suspicion, then you can use that as evidence and the judge will definitely strike out the charge. Make sure you shoot the sex tape in the most compromising of positions making it look real. Nigerians are hard to convince o! The next thing you have to do is to go to yaba okirika market and get some of those colourful T-shirt with inscriptions such as ‘Infatuated Womanizer’, ‘I luv big boobs’, ’Team LUV Sexy girls’ in front of them. This goes a long way in hiding your true identity. Wear it all around town so that people will see you and hail you as a ‘BADT GUY’ Thirdly you need a scandal. This applies to you if you are a celebrity. Just pay off some blogger to put up a picture of one ‘mgbeke’ girl in your village with the caption ‘Emeka’s Baby Mama’. They can even go as far as putting a baby in the girls hand thereby making it give the impression that the baby is yours. That will definitely seal off your true identity so that people will now look at you as the next 2BABA instead of next Elton John If you are a student make sure you always have porn on your mobile phone. When I say porn I don’t mean gay porn,that’s suicide. I mean Bleep porn,girls of the playboy mansion kind of porn.at least when people pick your phone and go through it they will think you have an insatiable lust for the opposite sex and that further hides your identity If you are on twitter make sure you follow porn tweeps,I mean tweeps theat tweet nude pictures of girls all the time or girls that tweet their nude picture. You must follow them even if they don’t follow back and also tweet at them. Tweets like that shifts attention away from you and goes a long way in saving your gay life by keeping it secret Perhaps this is the most important of all my tips to you, You must never be caught in a compromising position with another gay man, don’t get carried away. Nigerians are always watching, a lot of ‘amebos’ are lurking around since the govt have refused to provide employment. If you are caught the only thing that will save you is if you run to America and seek asylum Do all this and I assure you that your secret will be safe and your gay romantic hustle will stand d test of time. (nuahall.) 6 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by pickabeau1: 3:46pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
.. |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by AfricanApple(f): 3:49pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
14years is real |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Kanwulia: 3:54pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Get married like MOST NIGERIAN MEN! Once you can swing back and forth toto and anus, you are covered. Take frequent separate trips from the family and hook up with "your YOUTH LEADERS" outside the country as business seminars/meeting cover-ups! Impregnate as many desparate women as possible. Many poor wives of NL are still fasting and praying while casting and binding with their almighty marriage certificates ke! 75% of NIGERIAN males are BISEXUAL! Fact!!!!! 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by crackhaus: 4:02pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Kanwulia:You know that's a lie, even you don't believe yourself. 8 Likes |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nuahall2k14(m): 4:02pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Kanwulia: Get married like MOST NIGERIAN MEN! |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Godmystrength: 4:09pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
pickabeau1: .. |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Kanwulia: 4:12pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
crackhaus: O.K! Do yourself a favor and examine the azzzzhole of any NIGERIAN man you meet. Chances are it may resemble a hybrid of edible vegetables . . . . Namely BROCCOLI and CAULIFLOWER! Next, take a peep into their phones when unlocked! Read the messages from their fellow men, or the GAY-SEX files downloaded for personal viewing and private "indulgence"! MOST NIGERIAN POLITICIANS ARE IN BISEXUAL CULTS! Fact! They PHOCK each other for RITUAL! Start with yours! The #1 selling commodity in NIGERIA currently is the ANA-L PLUG to combat uncontrollable FARTING AND DEFECATION! Please, educate yourself! Any man that PREACHES against the gay lifestyle to a point of evangelism is the most hypocritical CLOSET-PHAG! 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by crackhaus: 4:20pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Kanwulia:Oh please... my azzzhole and what it looks like is none of your biznis. Again I say YOU LIE! And you know it.. If anything, it's 90% of women who are bisexual. I can't remember the number of times I heard a straight lady say she admires other pretty ladies. Most even admit to checking out the b00bs and azzes of other women. Never do you hear a straight man say he admires the six-pack or d1ck size of another man. You know I speak the truth, you're just being your usual naughty and troublesome self here again. 11 Likes |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Kanwulia: 4:30pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
crackhaus: I will excuse your naïveté! You are still in the category of those who believe in what people say as gospel! Maybe you should pay more attention to WHAT THEY ACTUALLY DO! The reason people like you are easily fooled by the likes of Catholic PHAG-PRIESTS. . . and the ODULELES and EDDY LONG JOHNS of the world! Ha! Thou protest waaaaaaaay too much! 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nobody: 5:00pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Gbam, Gbam Gbam. The poster is so right especially about the nu- de pictures. The one who wanted to use me to cover his gayness was the master of nu- de pictures. I always wondered why he left them there so I could see knowing I would question him. lol till the day I dug deeper and found that what he was hiding pass that one lmao. 1 Like |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by djeezy(m): 5:10pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
I had once given that advice to someone I know is gay. He just wouldnt ahere to them. Even his family is suspecting he is gay. Some would rather not live in denial. They still don't need cover ups. You know the law is for those caught in the act. They just can't prosecute you merely for being gay. And the police do not employ the method of entrapment. |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nuahall2k14(m): 5:13pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
aisha2: Gbam, Gbam Gbam. The poster is so right especially about the nu- de pictures. The one who wanted to use me to cover his gayness was the master of nu- de pictures. I always wondered why he left them there so I could see knowing I would question him. lol till the day I dug deeper and found that what he was hiding pass that one lmao. |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nuahall2k14(m): 6:38pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
You have done your best.if he insists on not taking your advice leave him to d govt.D stubborn fly follows the corpse to d grave. djeezy: I had once given that advice to someone I know is gay. He just wouldnt ahere to them. Even his family is suspecting he is gay. Some would rather not live in denial. They still don't need cover ups. You know the law is for those caught in the act. They just can't prosecute you merely for being gay. And the police do not employ the method of entrapment. 1 Like |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by djeezy(m): 6:41pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Nuahall2k14: You have done your best.if he insists on not taking your advice leave him to d govt.D stubborn fly follows the corpse to d grave.Well that's true. I hope he reconsiders. |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nuahall2k14(m): 6:53pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Chai! Amebo! An excerpt from d article reads "nigerians are hard to convince o" so Upon all d nudes u still dug deeper.i hail thee o. aisha2: Gbam, Gbam Gbam. The poster is so right especially about the nu- de pictures. The one who wanted to use me to cover his gayness was the master of nu- de pictures. I always wondered why he left them there so I could see knowing I would question him. lol till the day I dug deeper and found that what he was hiding pass that one lmao. |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nobody: 7:11pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Nuahall2k14: Chai! Amebo! An excerpt from d article reads "nigerians are hard to convince o" so Upon all d nudes u still dug deeper.i hail thee o. Some things didn't add up jare. |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nuahall2k14(m): 7:19pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Guy! I dey fear u o. Kanwulia: |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Kanwulia: 7:42pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Nuahall2k14: Guy! I dey fear u o. I have been around you know? Just to let you know sha. There is the normal vs THE PARANORMAL! Most "bushmeats" have never seen one! An ANUS-PLUG is not a hearing aide! Try to attend a party with politicians like RMD in it! Many NIGERIAN MALE politicians have been PHOCKED in the azzzzes as INITIATION RITES! Always RRRRRRRRUN from people who SMOKE AND DRINK. . . . .aka DRUG ADDICTS AND PASTORS!!!! *hint hint••••••* 3 Likes |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by esteltiarra: 7:47pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nobody: 8:06pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
bottom line is that all humans are gay 1 Like |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nobody: 8:09pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
aisha2: Gbam, Gbam Gbam. The poster is so right especially about the nu- de pictures. The one who wanted to use me to cover his gayness was the master of nu- de pictures. I always wondered why he left them there so I could see knowing I would question him. lol till the day I dug deeper and found that what he was hiding pass that one lmao.how did you know that he was gay 1 Like |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nuahall2k14(m): 8:37pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Then i am superhuman..because i am not gay. lofty900: bottom line is that all humans are gay |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nobody: 8:46pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Nuahall2k14: Then i am superhuman..because i am not gay.according to research, everyone has a certain percent of attraction to people of the same gender, some even fantasies about it 1 Like |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nuahall2k14(m): 8:49pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
I honestly havent noticed that about myself o. Plus i like Woman die! lofty900: according to research, everyone has a certain percent of attraction to people of the same gender, some even fantasies about it |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nuahall2k14(m): 8:49pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
I honestly havent noticed that about myself o. Plus i like Woman die! lofty900: according to research, everyone has a certain percent of attraction to people of the same gender, some even fantasies about it |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by crackhaus: 8:52pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Kanwulia:Protest? You think? Not really! Still I say you LIE! I see you edited your first comment by restricting your example to politicians...how you know what they do or what any gathering with RMD in it does leaves a lot to be imagined, and I'd rather not. Do these circle of men constitute 75% of Nigerian men? Let's say for one second I agree that these class of people in your example get phocked in the azzes, how does that justify your 75% figure? Eishhhhhh...just admit that your figure is wrong..that's my only PROTEST, I care not for what RMD or closet PHAGGOT politrickcians do or not do. How you know what they do in their CLOSETS still leaves a lot to be imagined. I am not CATHOLIC. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Kanwulia: 9:04pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
crackhaus: I am not limiting my stats to Nigerian, male politicians. Just my example within the group. My stats are MY STATS! 75% of ALL NIGERIAN MALES ARE BISEXXXUALS! Take it or leave it! 3 Likes |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nobody: 9:04pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Nuahall2k14: I honestly havent noticed that about myself o. Plus i like Woman die!ur probably living in denial... 1 Like |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by brethart: 9:11pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
This is really hilarious and also true...... I do my best to appear straight I have lot of shirts with "straight - theme" print on them...... My favourite says "silly boys are for girls" I also keep condoms in my pocket and wallet... Where people can easily see them 2 Likes |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nuahall2k14(m): 9:22pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Are u gay? brethart: This is really hilarious and also true...... I do my best to appear straight |
Re: How To Keep Your Gay Life Secret In Naija By Chinua Onwukike by Nuahall2k14(m): 9:27pm On Sep 15, 2014 |
Denial ke? U really believe in your stats. Suit yourself o lofty900: ur probably living in denial... |
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