@ Efemena,

Thanks a lot

bukatyne:
@ Efemena, Ileobatojo, chillisauce, carefreewannbe, edwife, coogar and all

Welcome to this thread

I will appreciate if all gifs and derailing comments are removed; it has no bearing to the topic

Thanks

Lol!

But this thread is strictly for Christians na... so it's not very inclusive, is it?

Anyway, this is soooooo Jennykadry's cup of tea.

Jenny! Come and see your kind of bobo on here oh! I mean the vain, lip-smacker...

2. Wives:

This is to wives and will be quoting Eph 5 and Proverbs 31: 10 - 31

Eph 5: 21 - 24; 31 - 33 (NLT)

Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.

24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”[c]

32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.


Eph 5: 21 - 24; 31 - 33 (KJV)
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Wives are to submit to their husbands (This is really to balance up the love the husband has for his wife), in this way, they are both in sync and the needs of each other are met.

Let's go to Proverbs 31: 10 - 31

NLT

A Wife of Noble Character

10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.

11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.

12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

13 She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.

14 She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.

18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.

19 Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.

20 She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.

21 She has no fear of winter for her household for everyone has warm[c] clothes.

22 She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.

23 Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders.

24 She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.

27 She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.

28 Her children stand and bless her; Her husband praises her:

29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

31 Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

KJV
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Excellent posts so far

Bukatyne

I think you should request it be moved to religion

Wives are called to submit and a practical lifestyle is given in Prov 31: 10 -31 (Will advice all Christian wives to read it and cultivate the lifestyle).

What is submission:
Submission is basically what a husband terms it to be? Does it sound strange?

There is no definition of submission in the bible so a wife must study her husband to know what he likes and ensures she does it how he likes when he likes and every time he likes (As far as it is not a sin)

Characteristics of a virtuous wife are outlined in proverbs 31 quoted above which involves industriousness, kindness, resourcefulness, strength and dignity amongst others and we should endeavor to cultivate them.

Irrespective of age, status, social standing, financial status etc. we are called to submit to our husbands which is a balance to the sacrificial and selfless love our husbands have for us

pickabeau1:
Excellent posts so far

Bukatyne

I think you should request it be moved to religion

Thanks,

Will do just that

Thought it was family related and will be best here but again, it is based on Christian principles and more of religious

@RoyalRoy,

Once again, I need your help

Please help me move to religion

Practical examples of submission

Remember that submission is in all things (as far as they are not sinful) so we really do not have any 'private' business once we are married. For example, I think it is wrong to do the following:

1. Send money/stuffs to your family/friends/relatives without the consent of your husband (note I said consent and not permission) irrespective of the financial model run in your home (joint or separate accounts)

2. Do something hubby has said he doesn't like without trying him to win over (If it is important) E.g. if he has said he doesn't like fixing of nails and you want to, you must win him over. There might be a way to fix it without him knowing but even if he does not see or notice, God does

3. Buy things without informing him/ hiding what you bought/ investing without him been in the know etc. amongst others

Why religion? I like the post here.

@buky. You've dealt with love in a way some guys don't want to hear. Kudos.
It's a much needed message especially for impressionable young lads who haven't even an ounce of love to give but have already known that their future wives MUST submit come rain or shine.

@ topic.

Love and submission are meant to work hand in hand.there can't be submission without love.
If we follow Christ's example,it is plain he came to show us his love. the ultimate way .
Using the only thing he had. It can't get more selfless than that.
And in turn demanded our submission unto.

Even the most hardened of hearts will be touched abd softened by genuine experiance of love.

A home where the husband loves his wife selflessly and the wife submits to this wonderful loving is one destined to last.

Chillisauce:


Chineke

pls whats thé topic again .

That's it. Enough for the day

I kinda lost track of the topic too with these gifs.

The winning family

First, for a couple to be able to practice all these, they must have the spirit of GOD manifest as seen in Gal 5: 22 - 23

22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

i.e. a husband and wife must possess these characteristics (Advising women only to be patient etc. is extremely fallacious and unbiblical) before they can build their home on godly principles. A godly man will not cheat, slap, insult, shout on, demean, disrespect his wife and vice versa

Marriage is meant to build up both husbands and wives and make them reach their highest peak. It should not be show stopper or dream ender like we see around

Ecclesiastes 4: 9 - 12 New Living Translation
9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.

10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?

12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Examples of beautiful relationships we can learn from are
1. David and Jonathan

2. Joseph and Mary

3. Joseph and Potiphar

Finally, let me leave us with this...

Like I always say, love is a pre-requisite for submission. Jesus Christ showed us bountiful love before demanding we submit to him and we will willingly submit to Him because we know he loves us, will continually do anything for us and puts us first in all His decisions.

Love here can be summarized as the husband putting the wife first while submission is wifey putting husband first so there is a sweet balance with each other backs covered.

Submission is NOT forced... God never twists our arms to do what we do not want to so please don't force your wives into submission; earn it by excellent leadership

Wives, do not take the love of your husbands for granted; he is no f.o.ol loving you sacrificially

Go into marriage with the aim of satisfying the other party always.



The love of a husband makes a wife blossom and the wife in turn makes her husband blossom... Bukatyne 2012

God bless

cococandy:
Why religion? I like the post here.

@buky. You've dealt with love in a way some guys don't want to hear. Kudos.
It's a much needed message especially for impressionable young lads who haven't even an ounce of love to give but have already known that their future wives MUST submit come rain or shine.

Coccandy welcome to this thread

Thanks a lot

Pickabeau1 suggested I do so since the topic tilts toward it and I thought it was a good idea

cococandy:
@ topic.

Love and submission are meant to work hand in hand.there can't be submission without love.
If we follow Christ's example,it is plain he came to show us his love. the ultimate way .
Using the only thing he had. It can't get more selfless than that.
And in turn demanded our submission unto.

Even the most hardened of hearts will be touched abd softened by genuine experiance of love.

A home where the husband loves his wife selflessly and the wife submits to this wonderful loving is one destined to last.

True, True

Well...
It may be.

But I feel religion isn't a very well visited section. The message may not get to those who need to see it.

But it's up to you and the MODS. Wherever it is,I'm following.

Cool thread.

bukatyne:


Coccandy welcome to this thread

Thanks a lot

Pickabeau1 suggested I do so since the topic tilts toward it and I thought it was a good idea

bukatyne:


Thanks,

Will do just that

Thought it was family related and will be best here but again, it is based on Christian principles and more of religious

@RoyalRoy,

Once again, I need your help

Please help me move to religion

Done!!

cococandy:
Well...
It may be.

But I feel religion isn't a very well visited section. The message may not get to those who need to see it.

But it's up to you and the MODS. Wherever it is,I'm following.

Cool thread.

True however, I do not want it to be messed up

@cool thread: thanks

RoyalRoy:


Done!!

Thanks

But again

pickabeau1:
Bukatyne

What are your own thoughts... we've had several debates on this issue and you've always had a defensive outlook in my opinion

I believe you say something along the lines of "it is desired a man should love first and the woman will submit "

It goes back and forth and forth and forth then you say everyone else reads from the Nigerian bible

Tell us what you think from your own bible

That way no need for needless debates.

Also maybe this will be better in the religion section as not everyone is a christian and it will degenerate into the inevitable feminist debates

So now we are done, have all your questions be answered? Do you have more?

bukatyne:


Thanks

But again

?? Whatagwan ??

RoyalRoy:


?? Whatagwan ??

The audience is really family viewers

I appreciate the passion putting it there but if one is book at it really its a narrow topic and family has different ideologies


Based on your submission you have done a yeoman job and your practical examples are splendid guides of considering the other before you make a family decision

What can the righteous do if the foundation is gone

The responsibility on the xtian is higher as he or she is called to ensure he is not yoked with anyone who does not share similar values.that is where it starts

All these helps in providing a base

Next if values are congruent, the reality is that majority of decisions are non controversial as you are expected to see eye to eye on most of this issues.


The journey also calls for patience and seeking guidance on contentious issues which I feel should be less than 10 percent.

However we are also carnal creatures and this is where the adamic nature comes in.

Some of us don't take kindly to feedback no matter how gentle
Some are forgetful
Some see sex as unwholesome and purely from q functional idea of procreation within a marriage
Some have baggage from prior relationship
Unforgiving spirit etc

All these and more induce a dynamic even in a situqation which would have been easy

Example in your scenario

The man does not like something u need to do.you will have normally run it by him n time is of essence.
You do it and discuss later.


One should be able to trust his wife to handle issues in his absence. That's the point of marriage.

What if you depart suddenly.

That's what I can't think of now

bukatyne:
@ Efemena, Ileobatojo, chillisauce, carefreewannbe, edwife, coogar and all

Welcome to this thread

I will appreciate if all gifs and derailing comments are removed; it has no bearing to the topic

Thanks

Ok ma

Carefree come and remove your nakid man gif here.

Sorry buka, nothing to contribute. I no sabi bible.

Chillisauce:


Ok ma

Carefree come and remove your nakid man gif here.

Sorry buka, nothing to contribute. I no sabi bible.

Lol!

No probs

Happy Sunday

pickabeau1:
Next if values are congruent, the reality is that majority of decisions are non controversial as you are expected to see eye to eye on most of this issues.


The journey also calls for patience and seeking guidance on contentious issues which I feel should be less than 10 percent.

However we are also carnal creatures and this is where the adamic nature comes in.

Some of us don't take kindly to feedback no matter how gentle
Some are forgetful
Some see sex as unwholesome and purely from q functional idea of procreation within a marriage
Some have baggage from prior relationship
Unforgiving spirit etc

All these and more induce a dynamic even in a situqation which would have been easy

Example in your scenario

The man does not like something u need to do.you will have normally run it by him n time is of essence.
You do it and discuss later.


One should be able to trust his wife to handle issues in his absence. That's the point of marriage.

What if you depart suddenly.

That's what I can't think of now

@bolded, that's why I believe that a love & submission as discussed in the Bible is for only spirit-filled Christians that's why it is always emphasized that Christians are not unequally yoked

The first step for someone professing to be a Christian is to be born-again.

True, we all have baggage as a result of our upbringing and/or experiences however, when we come to Christ and lay all at his feet, He heals us. Salvation is not only from sin but from past baggage, evil ideologies et al as well

It is well

@bolded 2: I prefer discussing it first before doing even if it is a phone call on the go (maybe I have not encountered something I must do as an emergency). I remember when Konga was doing sales on their Tecno Phantom. I needed a phone then and we had decided I will get one. When the sales came on Friday, it was an opportunity but I did not get it that day because we were going to see at night and I felt no need to call him. When I was ready on Monday, the sales was closed and I had to pay twice of it. LOL (He was like why did I not just get it) no mind me, na lof

My reference to Nigerian bibles is when one party uses the Bible to support his/her stance without intending to do his or her own part.

pickabeau1:
I appreciate the passion putting it there but if one is book at it really its a narrow topic and family has different ideologies


Based on your submission you have done a yeoman job and your practical examples are splendid guides of considering the other before you make a family decision

What can the righteous do if the foundation is gone

The responsibility on the xtian is higher as he or she is called to ensure he is not yoked with anyone who does not share similar values.that is where it starts

All these helps in providing a base

Thanks

edwife:
So let me also sit down and watch


Sorry bucky,gif removed.

Lol @ bucky!

Thanks

bukatyne:


@bolded, that's why I believe that a love & submission as discussed in the Bible is for only spirit-filled Christians that's why it is always emphasized that Christians are not unequally yoked

The first step for someone professing to be a Christian is to be born-again.

True, we all have baggage as a result of our upbringing and/or experiences however, when we come to Christ and lay all at his feet, He heals us. Salvation is not only from sin but from past baggage, evil ideologies et al as well

It is well

@bolded 2: I prefer discussing it first before doing even if it is a phone call on the go (maybe I have not encountered something I must do as an emergency). I remember when Konga was doing sales on their Tecno Phantom. I needed a phone then and we had decided I will get one. When the sales came on Friday, it was an opportunity but I did not get it that day because we were going to see at night and I felt no need to call him. When I was ready on Monday, the sales was closed and I had to pay twice of it. LOL (He was like why did I not just get it) no mind me, na lof

My reference to Nigerian bibles is when one party uses the Bible to support his/her stance without intending to do his or her own part.

Yes BUT t takes time for the inner man to eat meat..

Second point that is ideal but situations happen
Meetings, poor network etc

One should trust the best of his partner. When we see we will discuss.
However these are exceptional situations



I agree with you on people using scriptures for an agenda but it is not unique to Nigerians which is my point.

Whites used Bible to justify enslavement of blacks - curse of Noah

cococandy: Love and submission are meant to work hand in
hand. there can't be submission without love.
If we follow Christ's example,it is plain he came
to show us his love. the ultimate way .
Using the only thing he had. It can't get more
selfless than that.
And in turn demanded our submission unto.

How did you come to this conclusion?

Take a look at these:

bukatyne:
The passage above tells us that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. The onus is now each man (intending) to be a loving husband to study how Christ loved the Church (us). We can see this love outlined in 1 Cor 13: 4 - 8

NLT:

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud

5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!

Note the emboldened bits.
They all say in summary that love should not be dependent on how well the person being loved treats the lover.

This is my point:
If you say submission is only dependent on love, are you not going against the scriptural characteristics of true love?

Yes, submission is also love...for a woman to submit, she must have loved first.
And since love is patient, kind, not irritable, keeps no record of being wronged, never gives up, never looses faith, and endures through every circumstance, the submission of a woman to her husband is not dependent on how much he loves her.
This is what I believe to be Christ's kind of love.

It will be hard, it will seem painful...but submitting to a husband who does not really love you is the true definition of Christ's love.

bukatyne:
Practical examples of submission

Remember that submission is in all things (as far as they are not sinful) so we really do not have any 'private' business once we are married. For example, I think it is wrong to do the following:

1. Send money/stuffs to your family/friends/relatives without the consent of your husband (note I said consent and not permission) irrespective of the financial model run in your home (joint or separate accounts)

What's the difference between consent and permission?

2. Do something hubby has said he doesn't like without trying him to win over (If it is important) E.g. if he has said he doesn't like fixing of nails and you want to, you must win him over. There might be a way to fix it without him knowing but even if he does not see or notice, God does

Are you implying that if you don't win him over, you would disobey as long as he doesn't see it?

Submission is not love.
Submission is the inevitable result of love
Or rather the natural response to love.

crackhaus:

How did you come to this conclusion?

Take a look at these:

Note the emboldened bits.
They all say in summary that love should not be dependent on how well the person being loved treats the lover.

This is my point:
If you say submission is only dependent on love, are you not going against the scriptural characteristics of true love?

Yes, submission is also love...for a woman to submit, she must have loved first.
And since love is patient, kind, not irritable, keeps no record of being wronged, never gives up, never looses faith, and endures through every circumstance, the submission of a woman to her husband is not dependent on how much he loves her.
This is what I believe to be Christ's kind of love.

It will be hard, it will seem painful...but submitting to a husband who does not really love you is the true definition of Christ's love.

crackhaus:

What's the difference between consent and permission?


Are you implying that if you don't win him over, you would disobey as long as he doesn't see it?

@ 2nd statement, you clearly did not read what I wrote

Go back and slowly read

@First statement: I think consent is wrong. I meant that the husband must know about it i.e. informing him

I will look for the right word and edit that post