Is It Difficult For Wives To Totally Submit To Their Husbands?

Any thoughts of why wives find it difficult to be in "total submission" to their husbands?

Because they are not meant to?Could that be the reason?God created them equally to compliment each other equally without one having to "submit" to the other.All this total submission stuff was slotted into the bible by male chauvnists jewish patriarchs like me,to oppress pretty damsels like you!

No it's not. Once a woman loves a man, she totally submits to him.

@babymine
And when a man loves a woman?What does he do to her?Are you giving us the carte blanche to do whatever we deem fit with you ladies?
I personally do not want a weak and timid woman by my side.No way!Why are you trying to make us gods that we are not?And when we misbehave,you ladies start to cry to the lord.

Jagunlabi,

Scripturally, submission does not mean "weak & timid", just like "authority" does not imply brutal & oppressive.

Biblical submission is not "carte blanche" to do whatever.

True Biblical love does not "misbehave". But don't take my word for it;

I Corinthians 13:4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.

But something tells me you are not interested in Biblical truth are you sir?

God bless

The same Paul that said wives should submit to their husbands also said that it is better not to get married. Why are Paul's uninformed opinions on marriage (afterall he was not married) being taken as the word of God?

Seun:

The same Paul that said wives should submit to their husbands also said that it is better not to get married. Why are Paul's uninformed opinions on marriage (afterall he was not married) being taken as the word of God?

you don't seem to have read that portion of the scripture well at all. in verse 1 of 1 Cor 7, paul advices men not to marry because it frees them up for the work of the gospel. Read 1 cor 7:29 to get his real meaning: 29What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none

1 cor 7:32-35 : 32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

His main treatise was, if u're unmarried u're more available to do the Lord's work but: 1 cor 7:2 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.

he advices men and women to get married IF; 1 cor 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Lastly he explains himself in the very same chapter 1 cor7:6-7 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

Pls read your bible very well before making frivolous allegations. it may save you from judgement at the last day!

jagunlabi:

Because they are not meant to?Could that be the reason?God created them equally to compliment each other equally without one having to "submit" to the other.All this total submission stuff was slotted into the bible by male chauvnists jewish patriarchs like me,to oppress pretty damsels like you!

How can you refute God's command that is replicated in not 1 but 3 separate portions of the scripture?

Ephesians 5:22 (Whole Chapter)
[ Wives and Husbands ] Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.


Ephesians 5:24 (Whole Chapter)
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.


Colossians 3:18 (Whole Chapter)
[ Rules for Christian Households ] Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

the word "submit" does not connote servitude but deference and respect. God also explains it by saying wives shoudl submit to their husbands as unto the Lord. That same distinction is observed in all 3 references. I'm very sure God made that clarification very clear because he knew the heart of man and the fact that they would try and twist it.

God does not call us His servants but his friends and equal heirs to the throne with Jesus! You do not approach God in fear but in love and reference.

Seun, you need understanding in the word of God.
Paul was not uninformed.

He was talking to two sets of people here.
He said it was better not to marry because of the works of God.
So there won't be family distraction.

You need to read it down and be informed yourself.

whao! that is a lot of knowledge you guys are dropping on me here.

@ daviddylan, thanks for the breakdown. that was very interesting. You be pastor??

that the Bible says that the Wife should submit to her husband doesnt mean she should become a slave or whatever. If there is Love in a marriage, there'll be respect. The wife will respect her husband, the husband will respect his wife.

Its like two hands, washing each other clean.

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands, even those who refuse to accept the Good News. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over by watching your pure, godly behavior” (1 Peter 3:1-2). Being submissive is not only the responsibility of women who have Christian husbands. We should never submit to our husbands if it requires disobeying God; the relationship we have with Him is the most important (Deuteronomy 6:5). But preaching, nagging, whining, and refusing to serve will only turn an unbelieving husband away from God more. Instead, showing her husband the love of Christ through godly behavior, serving him and loving him, will give him an excellent example of how Christ served and loved the church. If a Christian woman has an unbeliever for a husband, she must not leave him if he wants to stay with her. And if a Christian husband has an unbeliever for a wife, he must not leave her if she wants to stay with him. But if the unbelieving spouse wants to leave, it is okay to let them go (1 Corinthians 7:12-15).

My peeps,

as the bible says, just as a man is to love his wife, a woman is to submit to her husband. Sorry, but I don't have the book and verse, but I am sure you can figure that out

The problem is, that due to changing times (and in america, laws ), the woman is now the neck, controlling the head (i.e. the husband "just as christ is the head of the church, " wherever it turns. Is this necessarily a bad thing? To me, it depends. I will let you decide on that.

Bottomline, in my opinion, for this world to be a better place (barring the abusive husbands who in my opinion should be rounded up and shot ), we need to get back to the basics. The man is the head, the woman is to submit and the man is to love the wife just as christ loved the church.

To clarify, what to me is "submit"? Well, thanks for asking - if, say, as the man, I bring up a topic for discussion, and the woman says her piece, I should be allowed to make the final decision, right or wrong. In other words, we may or may not agree. In the end though, my wife doesn't just sit and bark like that woman in "coming to america". She actually contributes to our decisions.

Boy!! Have I kicked up a storm

Jagunlabi, I LOVE YOU.

IAH:

Jagunlabi, I LOVE YOU.

snap she beat me to it!!!

IAH:

Jagunlabi, I LOVE YOU.

Jagunlabi is not being sincere, is he married?

if he is can he tell us who the head of his household is and why? Does his wife get to make all the decisions?
I hope he won't mind being nagged at, slapped or ordered around by his wife!

davidylan:

Jagunlabi is not being sincere, is he married?

if he is can he tell us who the head of his household is and why? Does his wife get to make all the decisions?
I hope he won't mind being nagged at, slapped or ordered around by his wife!

so you re saying the guys should get to make all the decisions, nag, slap and order there wife around?

damygurl:

so you re saying the guys should get to make all the decisions, nag, slap and order there wife around?

Please stop taking every single statement out of context. Only a boy will slap, nag or order his wife around! I have an uncle who hardly talks around the home, if u were an outsider you would be quick to come to the conclusion that his wife is the dominant force around the house since he also cleans and sweeps and his wife runs the family purse (even down to giving him pocket money every morning!)

But alas my sister, me the insider knows who wears the crown in the home. The woman respects her husband and his word (he rarely talks) is law in that house! he does not slap or nag his wife, she respects him!

calm down. it's aight!!! i was just trying to understand what you meant when you said "Does his wife get to make all the decisions? I hope he won't mind being nagged at, slapped or ordered around by his wife!"

Seun:

The same Paul that said wives should submit to their husbands also said that it is better not to get married. Why are Paul's uninformed opinions on marriage (afterall he was not married) being taken as the word of God?

Cough. . . er, let me add a few things.  

I think Seun's concerns are legitimate. However, he supposes that I Cor. 7:1 (if that's the reference he had in mind) was an instruction for men not to get married. If that were true, it would contradict all other teachings on marriage. Paul simply states: "Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman." [KJV]. Only in some paraphrased versions that miss the point like GNB (Good News Bible) and the NIV (New International Version) will one find the word "marry" in place of "touch", as in - "Now, to deal with the matters you wrote about. A man does well not to marry." [But see the footnote of I Cor. 7:1 in NIV.] Why is this distinction necessary at all? So many people have confused the two and seemingly concluded that Paul must have contradicted himself, and some of these versions have not helped to better understand what was meant there.

The greek word translated "touch" in I Cor. 7:1 is 'haptomai' and is not the same as the greek word 'gameo' for "marry" in verse 9 ("let them marry [gameo]: for it is better to marry [gameo] than to burn". Touching a woman is not the same as marrying her; it portrays the idea of approaching her for sex without any established connections/relations like marriage. That is what Paul discouraged.

[A friend jokingly sent me his own pidgin translation I Cor. 7:1 - "Ehen, about dat thing wey una ask me before - make I just yarn una: e beta say make no man tap current from any sista in oda to self-service am!"     (Okay, he was not inspired - just kidding in pidgin!).]

In other verses we see the same consistency maintained throughout scripture. In the OT, the same thought is expressed in Hebrew words: hayah (marry) and naga (touch in a general way, but used in the same sense here discussed).

Gen. 20:6 - "Then God said to him in the dream, "Yes, I know that you have done this in the integrity of your heart, and it was I who kept you from sinning against me. Therefore I did not let you touch [naga]her." [ESV]

Pro 6:29 - "So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth [naga]her shall not be innocent. [KJV]

Num 36:6 - "This is the thing which the LORD doth command concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, Let them marry [hayah] to whom they think best; only to the family of the tribe of their father shall they marry [hayah]."

The sum of all this is that Paul was not contradicting himself. He did not say it was better not to marry in I Cor. 7:1, but that believers should abstain from illicit sexual relationships - the context of this argument is borne out in the very next verse where he says: "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." (v.2). You can see he actually adviced that believers should get married.

damygurl:

calm down. it's aight!!! i was just trying to understand what you meant when you said "Does his wife get to make all the decisions? I hope he won't mind being nagged at, slapped or ordered around by his wife!"

no stress. just explaining myself

aight but i still don't understand you cuz to me you sound like you believe the guy should make all the decision.

damygurl:

aight but i still don't understand you because to me you sound like you believe the guy should make all the decision.

The guy does not have a monopoly of all knowledge. Even God gives us a choice, to believe Him or not, salvation, healing etc are not by force.

Having said that, i believe the guy does have the final word on most issues as the head of the home. sure you NEED input from your wife ALL the time but a wise woman understands her role is the supporting striker and NOT the main striker.

@davidylan,

Goodman, keep up the good work. I never knew you were this versed in the scriptures too. I thot it's all politics - remember your dictionary? It got me and my friends laughing our heads off.

Good work man.

And all the ladies in the house should know that ''real men'' listens to their wives. And sometimes they will not take some important decisions without consulting their wives.

well i don't agree. i mean sure the husband is the head of the family but i wanna have a say too and make decisions for the family.
Maybe if you used some other word choice i might sorta agree with you but dat Main striker and and supporting striker just don't do it for me. it's like you saying sure she can give opinions but the guys' way will always be the way. it just makes me feel like i can't think for myself andi  gotta go to my husband to make decsion fro me and if he says no then it's no.

i don't just want to be a consultant.

@ Ono

thanks so much for the compliments. more ink to my pen!

@damygurl,

truth no one likes being the supporting striker. no one likes being reminded their oppinions do not really count in the long run. but the diff is in the guy you marry. Most men i know (e.g my dad, uncles) would NEVER take a decision without the input of my wives. more than 50%of the time, my dad leave his friends to seek my mom's opinion before taking a stand on some stuff.

there can't be two captains in one ship neither can their be NO captains in one ship too!

No one wants a wife who will stubbornly stick to her own opinions all the time neither do u want a wife who has no opinion of her own too! there must be a balance somewhere.

got you but i don't mean like i wanna stubbornly stick to my opinion but i want what i gotta say to matter u know? and be able to make decisions too!!

damygurl:

got you but i don't mean like i want to stubbornly stick to my opinion but i want what i gotta say to matter u know? and be able to make decisions too!!

like i said, depends on the guy you end up with. Only a fool will say his wife's opinions do not matter. i remember a story my dad told me about women having this sixth sense and being able to see much farther than guys can, i knew i was never going to take my wife's advice for granted from that day on.

In response to all of you quoting passages that say that wives should submit to their husbands, husbands too have responsibilites to their wives, yanno.

Ephesians 5:25-29
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

So, essentially, I don't think women would have any problem submitting to their husbands if they're actually treated as above.

So, in my opinion, if a husband wants a wive to be submissive unto him, he should give honour unto the wife, should love the wife as his own body, and shouldn't be bitter against her.

Simple and straightforward, right? You would think so.

Many "submissive" women are liars. They choose deception over "rebellion' to achieve their aims. I don't believe in this idea of "submission". There is no way that pompous young men won't take advantage of it.

As I understand, you are an atheist so it might not make sense to u how some young successful christian guys will not take advantage of a respectful woman. The issue is not being young or pompous,, it actually lies on how one was raised and how much they value biblical principles.

As a 22 year old medical student in the U.S, I believe that I could qualify as a "young pompous" guy,, but based on what I learnt from the relationship my father had with my mum, I know better than to take advantage of women that respects and refers to me, especially in the U.S where everybody will consider it alien!

And according to Eph 5:25, if Husbands love their wives as Christ loved the Church then I don't see the Husband who professes to love his wife would want to take advantage of her. Remember that Christ loved us to the point of giving his life for us.