Am really fed up nd blaming my self getting married in d first place.I am a full housewife doing nuffn buh 2 take care of my 14months old baby,a caterer buh my. Hub don't want me 2 continue cos he believes I will b influence,I toldd him some mnths back dat I'm interested in makeup and make enquiry here on nairaland. I was suprised wen he told me I won't do anything until our baby starts school.d point is I have a lot of friends nd weneva I c dem I feel ashamed of maself cos dey aree far beta dan me,had it been I was working I know I will have o lot,infact I can count d numbers of tym I bought clothes 4 my baby.the worst part of it is dat he gat no secret nd der is third party.sorry 4 d long story is just dat I av no. 1 2 share my feelings with instead of committing suicide cos m reallyy bored.

Hmmm..jst try n mk him c reasons wif u y u shld start work. Buh dis is wat u guys were suppose 2 discuss while courting

pretydiva:
Hmmm..jst try n mk him c reasons wif u y u shld start work. Buh dis is wat u guys were suppose 2 discuss while courting

I agree with u

Chai.....chai chai.... When u r pasing through the For worse part, pray to God and he will see u through...

You don't need peoples advice here really. Just give him more reasons why u shld work. Please neva listen to other women's gist cos its mostly filled with painted lies.

These days most distressed people on Nairaland end conversation by saying they dont wanna commit suicide. Make una just buy una coffin and commit this suicide na.

Why did you marry an insecure primitive man in the first place?

pretydiva:
Hmmm..jst try n mk him c reasons wif u y u shld start work. Buh dis is wat u guys were suppose 2 discuss while courting

he promised to open a shop for for me after giving birth

SirShymex:
Why did you marry an insecure primitive man in the first place?

I thought he was a God sent not until I gave birth.

You want to commit suicide because you are bored!!!!

All you do is take care of the baby? There is nothing else you have or can do? This is somewhat odd? Taking care of a child and a home is a big time responsibility and if done with love and dedication it can also be very fulfilling fulfilling

Ashamed because others are better than you?
Marriage is about sacrifices, for your family and kids. You want to be better or as good as the Jones. That simply means you will never be contented.

Your husband wants you to wait till the kid is in school because he wants the child to have maternal love and attention in the early stages. That is not an unwise decision.
You want to have things your way but marriage is about compromise.

You need to work on yourself first.
Focus on what you want and then access if it is considerate and in the interest of the family. You can then present it to your husband for his consideration and approval. IF he does not go for it try to negotiate a compromise.
Telling a man that boredom is your reason for wanting to work is not a very logical excuse. He could be inclined to think that you might seek exciting things to quench the boredom.

Your husband announcing that there is a third party is like a signal.. read the writing on the wall. It might just be that he too is fed up. Then the disaster is that you may decide for the marriage but he remains fed up.

You have been blessed with a family. A husband and a child. I know many women that would ant nothing else, even if they don`t admit it. Why throw a good think away.

bolasexy:
I thought he was a God sent not until I gave birth.

Well, that's life for you. Most folks look and act like angels, but deep inside them, they're Lucifer's incarnate. This is basically somewhat similar to false imprisonment, and cause depression and emotional break-down.

Anyway, I don't usually do this (i.e advise folks on what to do with their relationships cos there are always three sides to every story). However, I'll just say since he has given you a window of opportunity, to your freedom, after ya kid starts school. You just have to persevere, and use this as a learning process till then. And when the time comes, just make sure you use that to empower yourself - and make yourself more independent. Get a job, a career, a business - or whatever you can empower yourself with. And with that, you'll probably earn more respect, if he isn't too rigid.

From what you alluded to, especially about what he said in helping you start a business. I'm guessing you're overly dependent on him for everything. See, beggars can't be choosers - and he who pays the piper calls the tune. You just have to endure for now, and continue to be a good wife, till you sort yourself out. Please, don't go out of ya way to challenge his authority cos ol'boy sounds like the type that will beat you to stupor.

Regardless, full housewife is just too medieval...and that's why a lot of these women always end up obese.

@BananaBender

I'm out here doing ya job for you. This is what you should be doing by empowering women. Not the vacuous nonsense you lot spam here everyday, and the gratification of gadgets most of you have never seen nor afford as what the "modern" woman should be. Educate these women on how to empower themselves.

I hope NL singles are learning from other peoples experiences o, so that your own won't be added to the list of available experience of those that went into marriage/relationships without properly counting the cost.

You want to commit suicide because you're bored?

Who told you you won't get bored in hell? What will you now do then? Commit another suicide?

Y'all be going about this suicide threats as though it's easy to commit suicide….. SMH!!!

mutter:
You want to commit suicide because you are bored!!!!

All you do is take care of the baby? There is nothing else you have or can do? This is somewhat odd? Taking care of a child and a home is a big time responsibility and if done with love and dedication it can also be very fulfilling fulfilling

Ashamed because others are better than you?
Marriage is about sacrifices, for your family and kids. You want to be better or as good as the Jones. That simply means you will never be contented.

Your husband wants you to wait till the kid is in school because he wants the child to have maternal love and attention in the early stages. That is not an unwise decision.
You want to have things your way but marriage is about compromise.

You need to work on yourself first.
Focus on what you want and then access if it is considerate and in the interest of the family. You can then present it to your husband for his consideration and approval. IF he does not go for it try to negotiate a compromise.
Telling a man that boredom is your reason for wanting to work is not a very logical excuse. He could be inclined to think that you might seek exciting things to quench the boredom.

Your husband announcing that there is a third party is like a signal.. read the writing on the wall. It might just be that he too is fed up. Then the disaster is that you may decide for the marriage but he remains fed up.

You have been blessed with a family. A husband and a child. I know many women that would ant nothing else, even if they don`t admit it. Why throw a good think away.

Į̸̸̨ think she has said it all

Op, Listening and believing other women painted stories of success in handling home n buisness together will only confuse and make u ungrateful for what u av. Every woman has her own path n destiny in life. What yur husband request from u is pure logical, due to the sake of the child
Be patient. That moment 2 be self independent will come. Use this period to write out yur ideas and plans for d biz, u wish 2 do and broaden yur horizons wit infos 2 make it a success. After then, wait Till after yur child starts school then u can bring up the topic again 2 yur husband..But wit a different approach. Frm being bored.. Anyone leaving d house due to boredom, is waiting n watching out for fun immediately he or she steps out.
Be wise, Not all Tales are. True especially frm couples.
Inbtwn, am married but am eagerly waiting for that few years break to hang in my booths, lol, make I rest from my career life and focus on my home, husby, then unborn kids. U. Dey run frm housewife role, Me I can't wait 2 pull a plug on my biz for some years, b4 I bounce back into d market, as a stronger ,more matured and fulfiled being. Sometimes, I say 2 myself when I was still single, how I wish I can be in Space for some years doing nothing but sleeping peaceful and getting my peace back frm being a successful career lady. Mehn! I need a deserved break, which my maN is just waiting for me 2 say, Oya am done for nw and ready 2 chill @ home.
I simply can't wait!

Mutter said my thoughts and seriously op from boredom to suicide? That's extreme just take it easy you will soon be able to do all your make up things once your baby begins class.

mutter:
You want to commit suicide because you are bored!!!!

All you do is take care of the baby? There is nothing else you have or can do? This is somewhat odd? Taking care of a child and a home is a big time responsibility and if done with love and dedication it can also be very fulfilling fulfilling

Ashamed because others are better than you?
Marriage is about sacrifices, for your family and kids. You want to be better or as good as the Jones. That simply means you will never be contented.

Your husband wants you to wait till the kid is in school because he wants the child to have maternal love and attention in the early stages. That is not an unwise decision.
You want to have things your way but marriage is about compromise.

You need to work on yourself first.
Focus on what you want and then access if it is considerate and in the interest of the family. You can then present it to your husband for his consideration and approval. IF he does not go for it try to negotiate a compromise.
Telling a man that boredom is your reason for wanting to work is not a very logical excuse. He could be inclined to think that you might seek exciting things to quench the boredom.

Your husband announcing that there is a third party is like a signal.. read the writing on the wall. It might just be that he too is fed up. Then the disaster is that you may decide for the marriage but he remains fed up.

You have been blessed with a family. A husband and a child. I know many women that would ant nothing else, even if they don`t admit it. Why throw a good think away.

Tanks a lot

@mutter welcome back babes
Hope you are all good

@thread, I dont have much to say as most has already been said. however I will look at this from another angle. It may be too late for the poster, but hopefully someone else is learning something from this

My question is what do you as a woman bring to the union in terms of career advancement & personal development?

I dont beleive that a woman who has an established and successful business or career will suddenly be told by her husband to give it up.

He promised to open a shop for you and he went back on his word, however, If you already had a shop before you married him, then no need to chase him and there wont be any oppourtunity for him to mess you about.

Inshort as women we have some responsibility towards our own futures. Our lives do not start the day we become a Mrs. We should already be living our lives and primed ready for marriage.

I am really glad for d responses.jah bless u all

chaircover:
@mutter welcome back babes
Hope you are all good

@thread, I dont have much to say as most has already been said. however I will look at this from another angle. It may be too late for the poster, but hopefully someone else is learning something from this

My question is what do you as a woman bring to the union in terms of career advancement & personal development?

I dont beleive that a woman who has an established and successful business or career will suddenly be told by her husband to give it up.

He promised to open a shop for you and he went back on his word, however, If you already had a shop before you married him, then no need to chase him and there wont be any oppourtunity for him to mess you about.

Inshort as women we have some responsibility towards our own futures. Our lives do not start the day we become a Mrs. We should already be living our lives and primed ready for marriage.

Just to add,women ought to discuss this with whoever they are dating and ensure they have the same orientation and outlook.Some men are somewhat primitive in their thinking.Op's husband saying she should not work cos she can be influenced.Na today.Are there not housewives who have men visiting them or meeting somewhere?
A woman should empower herself and have a career beyond being a Mrs.I understand you may need to give up a more demanding job for a less demanding job sometimes.

Bolasexy,

I don't understand how you can say that you have nothing to do as a housewife with a 14 months old baby.

What about taking care of the child, cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, ironing? I think that's a lot of work if you do it properly.

I understand that you would like to work but maybe you can wait some more. The child is not yet 2. Try to reach a compromise with your husband.

Maybe you can do it when the child is 2 or 3. I would love to stay with my kids till they are 2 or 3.

mutter:
You want to commit suicide because you are bored!!!!

All you do is take care of the baby? There is nothing else you have or can do? This is somewhat odd? Taking care of a child and a home is a big time responsibility and if done with love and dedication it can also be very fulfilling fulfilling

Ashamed because others are better than you?
Marriage is about sacrifices, for your family and kids. You want to be better or as good as the Jones. That simply means you will never be contented.

Your husband wants you to wait till the kid is in school because he wants the child to have maternal love and attention in the early stages. That is not an unwise decision.
You want to have things your way but marriage is about compromise.

You need to work on yourself first.
Focus on what you want and then access if it is considerate and in the interest of the family. You can then present it to your husband for his consideration and approval. IF he does not go for it try to negotiate a compromise.
Telling a man that boredom is your reason for wanting to work is not a very logical excuse. He could be inclined to think that you might seek exciting things to quench the boredom.

Your husband announcing that there is a third party is like a signal.. read the writing on the wall. It might just be that he too is fed up. Then the disaster is that you may decide for the marriage but he remains fed up.

You have been blessed with a family. A husband and a child. I know many women that would ant nothing else, even if they don`t admit it. Why throw a good think away.

God bless u dear, u've said it all.

@ op, Please remove the thought of committing suicide from your mind. It is never a solution.

Do you want to work because you think your friends are better than you? if yes, then that's not a good reason. If however you want to work to be able to provide more for your baby or to be satisfied, then I can understand. I understand that not every woman is satisfied with just staying at home even with a baby. However such women usually have established business or career before getting married. I always encourage women to have a life and career before marriage. Marriage is sacrifice and you sometimes have to compromise. As it is now, you probably just have to wait till your baby starts school. Take this time to develop your business idea ready for when you can start. Good luck

The reasons you gave are not enough to make you start thinking about suicide. I think you may be having an untreated case of post partum depression. Feeling inferior to your friends just because you are not working as well as feeling your "angel" of a husband has suddenly become a devil are symptoms of depressive thoughts. I think you may need to seek a professional help - talk to a doctor. For the mean time, you need to think of reasons to be happy, and you have a good one already - having a child of your own. Ask women who have been married for years without any child, and they will tell how willing they will be to stay home for ten years just to have a child of their own.

babygirlfl:
@ op, Please remove the thought of committing suicide from your mind. It is never a solution.

Do you want to work because you think your friends are better than you? if yes, then that's not a good reason. If however you want to work to be able to provide more for your baby or to be satisfied, then I can understand. I understand that not every woman is satisfied with just staying at home even with a baby. However such women usually have established business or career before getting married. I always encourage women to have a life and career before marriage. Marriage is sacrifice and you sometimes have to compromise. As it is now, you probably just have to wait till your baby starts school. Take this time to develop your business idea ready for when you can start. Good luck

Nice post.

SirShymex:


Nice post.

Thanks. It's like this is another SirShymex in this thread. Well we prefer this one. This one looks like the one that will leave the London chicks alone and get happily married.

babygirlfl:


Thanks. It's like this is another SirShymex in this thread. Well we prefer this one. This one looks like the one that will leave the London chicks alone and get happily married.

Well, getting happily married is every guy's dream...and being able to raise ya seeds the right way within a nice family structure.

But the timing has to be right, and you've to be mentally ready for it.

Anyway, when the time is right, I shall send you an invite.

chaircover:
@mutter welcome back babes
Hope you are all good

@thread, I dont have much to say as most has already been said. however I will look at this from another angle. It may be too late for the poster, but hopefully someone else is learning something from this

My question is what do you as a woman bring to the union in terms of career advancement & personal development?

I dont beleive that a woman who has an established and successful business or career will suddenly be told by her husband to give it up.

He promised to open a shop for you and he went back on his word, however, If you already had a shop before you married him, then no need to chase him and there wont be any oppourtunity for him to mess you about.

Inshort as women we have some responsibility towards our own futures. Our lives do not start the day we become a Mrs. We should already be living our lives and primed ready for marriage.

Chaircover pls unban me in health section o. Am still wondering what my offence is. I didn't post any links to any blog only to a BBM channel, and I intend to discuss drugs amidst doctors,pharms, nurses and other health professional on that thread you deleted. Thanks for helping out and your efforts with Djdola.

bolasexy:
Am really fed up nd blaming my self getting married in d first place.I am a full housewife doing nuffn buh 2 take care of my 14months old baby,a caterer buh my. Hub don't want me 2 continue cos he believes I will b influence,I toldd him some mnths back dat I'm interested in makeup and make enquiry here on nairaland. I was suprised wen he told me I won't do anything until our baby starts school.d point is I have a lot of friends nd weneva I c dem I feel ashamed of maself cos dey aree far beta dan me,had it been I was working I know I will have o lot,infact I can count d numbers of tym I bought clothes 4 my baby.the worst part of it is dat he gat no secret nd der is third party.sorry 4 d long story is just dat I av no. 1 2 share my feelings with instead of committing suicide cos m reallyy bored.

When did you plan for your baby to start school?

Where you working before you married?

@suicide, biko hold ya sef

He is not even providing enough, yet he wants you at home. Women should be wary of the thought process of some men they marry, 14months is old enough. What happens if you get pregnant now? You wait till that one is 2? The circle continues....i feel for you.

Homguy:
Chaircover pls unban me in health section o. Am still wondering what my offence is. I didn't post any links to any blog only to a BBM channel, and I intend to discuss drugs amidst doctors,pharms, nurses and other health professional on that thread you deleted. Thanks for helping out and your efforts with Djdola.

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