₦airaland Forum

holyboss:
Well, I don sleep in church I browse nairaland sexuality section in church

am sorry to be the one to break Ds to u...ur doomed!!!

Is the devil's work

I love the expression, ".... and woke up dead". Hehe...

So if someone died for sleeping in the church, what happens to those of us that hardly go to church at all?

So scared right now! Op, that was not funny.

And how come I've never come across this biblical passage? Mhen! I don backslide finish!

Someone help a brother!

KingSolomonI:
How can one wake up dead?

going by ur moniker u shud knw the ansa to DAT already.abi ur own kingsolomon na d clueless one?

Anyone dat can fall asleep in church is amazing, how do u sleep wt dat much noise? Speakers blaring, drumming, everyone In a frenzy. I cant sleep with any noise

wunmi590:
Please this plot is not for sale, beware of 419

Hehehe! Kinda funny. Well, most times when people are stressed out before going to church, sleeping may become inevitable. I used to sleep oo! Especially when the sermon is going on, until I understood the importance of sermon, I now stay wide awake with undivided attention[color=#990000][/color]

Norstrademus:
am sorry to be the one to break Ds to u...ur doomed!!!

WEEREEY! (Mad man) E concern u


Mtchew

holyboss:
WEEREEY! (Mad man) E concern u


Mtchew

some ppl will just jump into someone's else biz.I tire for them

Oh lalasticlala!! I go give u John Cena o,lol

Just two contributions


1) One Mount Zion film or so, showing the spiritual side of what causes sleep and dozing in church.
The daemon carried a black powder and if it saw any1 that may benefit from the sermon, he struts silently and "fuwee" (blows the powder.) Seconds later, the person starts dozing.

"Fuwe" oya sleep.


2) One sunday morning, a family were late for Church and the wife cooked yam porridge. She now insisted EVERYONE MUST come back after service. The husband had already had plans of consuming "asaro" that he licked and bit his lips. The hot steaming contents of the pot refused to leave his thought. It trailed him to the church.


Eventually the Pastor started preaching and Pa Kolade, for that was his name, started dozing. His weak neck unable to support the load, thus there was no "mechanical advantage"



"Praaise the Lord" the pastor screamed.


"Asarooo" Pa kolade roared from his sleep

He looked about as the congregation burst into laughter.

Well(shrugs) that scene alone changed the mood of the dozy congregation for the rest of the service, but Pa Kolade vowed never to sleep again during sermons. Twas embarassing!

Idyllik:

Omo u don try o. Ano know Wetin carry m go check ur profile, u reg 4 Nov & una don join Nairaland, sha!!!. I hail una. Anyway I like ur pic if u r truly the one up there.

After reading all this epistle, some people went and qoute the whole epistle all over again. Too boring, feel like sleeping.

Church sleepers beware.

• Adam fell asleep
and woke up married and missing a rib!
• Samson fell asleep and woke up bald and beaten!
• Jonah fell asleep in the boat and woke up wet!
• Eutychus fell asleep and woke up dead!


but dat Eutychus later woke up and d power of God was manifested dat day. the Lord deliberately made him sleep just to manifest d power of God in him read further to 12.

ellechrystal:
Piam

Hey Virginia, how's your day coming by?

Um, I just got back from Church. Too tired to read the epistle. Basically, one should not sleep in church, it's just plain wrong: disrespect to God and the oficiating minister(s).

spillyboy14:
1. Sleeping in Church no good. we gree. But OP, those your stories no tally at all. The bible verses too no rhyme.

2. How I no go sleep for church where the preacher dey extra boring? For Instance "no beef intended just sayin ma opinion" When I had no option but to follow my uncle which I was squatting with to Deeper Life, The live sermon by Kumuyi was always extra boring.
That man preaches like he is reading a novel. I gats sleep off.

Wait hold on. Before I go.

This France guy, "we dont sleep in france, we dont know him in france, we dont bla bla bla in france........and so on". Has anyone told you those lines of yours are very wack? If you are trying to create a label for your self? You need to upgrade.

I pray for wisdom upon you.


Out..

amen oo i even dey fink sey na only me dey see im, no be im fault nw when nairaland rules says u must always try 2 comment on every front page wetin d guy go do nw

SuperModerator:
church is too boring, it makes me fall asleep

Mayb na catholic church u dey attend...slow slow slow

na wah o
I fell asleep while reading.
















who can summarize?

lalasticlala:
Sermon:
For All Those Who Fall Asleep in Church
Acts 20:7-12

Church sleepers beware.

If you think you can get away with sleeping in church then watch out! “A man who went to Church with his wife always fell asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday she took a long hatpin along with her to poke him with it every time he would doze off. As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he asked, ‘and who created the universe in six days and rested on the seventh?,’ she poked her husband, who came flying out of the pew and screamed ‘Good God almighty’.”

“A man liked to sleep frequently in church, so the pastor devised a plan. During one service the pastor asked his congregation while the man was sleeping, ‘All who want to go to heaven, please rise.’ Everyone stood up except the sleeper. Then, at the top of his voice, he bellowed, ‘All who wish to go to hell, stand up now!’ Only the sleeper stood up. The sleeper looked around and said, ‘I don’t know what we’re voting on, Reverend, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it’.”

Have you ever
fallen asleep
in church?

Some folk must really get into their Sunday School lesson because they are so worn out by the time the sermon rolls around that they just can’t help but fall asleep! Or maybe they have worked up such a sweat during the music that they are plumb tuckered out! Perhaps those taking forty winks during the sermon are resting up so they won’t doze off on the long drive home after service. Or they are simply getting ready for the energy they will expend buffet-ing their stomachs at Ryan’s after church.

Please don’t think I’m complaining about folks who fall asleep in church. I understand some people can’t help it. I am convinced that some people fall asleep in church during the sermon because their have a physical ailment. Some folk must have a snooze button attached at the appropriate place so that it is activated everytime the preacher says, “Please turn in your Bibles...”, and sets the alarm off when the preacher says, “Please stand…”!

It doesn’t really bother me when people fall asleep in church. It doesn’t even bother me if they snore during the sermon as long as it sounds like, “AHH-men”!

I confess to you today that I have fallen asleep during a sermon, or two, or twenty. I really haven’t kept track, but I must tell you that I have done something worse than falling asleep during a sermon. I once fell asleep standing up holding a hymnal and singing a congregational song! Were it not for the stiletto elbowing of the person holding the other side of the hymnbook, I might have been awakened by the floor!
Sleeping in church could be a good thing. Did you know if you came to church every Sunday and slept for 20 minutes during the sermon every week, you would have slept over 2 days in only 3 years!

On the other hand, the Bible records several bad things that happened to folks who fell asleep:
• Adam fell asleep
and woke up married and missing a rib!
• Samson fell asleep and woke up bald and beaten!
• Jonah fell asleep in the boat and woke up wet!
• Eutychus fell asleep and woke up dead!


Proverbs 6:10-11
10 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest--
11 and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.
(NIV)


Acts 20:7-9
7 On the first day of the week we came together to break bread. Paul spoke to the people and, because he intended to leave the next day, kept on talking until midnight.
8 There were many lamps in the upstairs room where we were meeting.
9 Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead.
(NIV)

This passage of scripture is the earliest clear reference to the Christian practice of observing Sunday as a day of worship. The O.T. Jews met on the Sabbath or 7th day of the week, which was Saturday to commemorate the fact that God created the universe & everything in it in 6 days, & then on the 7th day He rested. So to the Jews, Sunday was to be a day of rest & worship. So those Jews who became Christians they continued to observe the Sabbath as well as the first day of the week. Early Christians began to meet on the first day of the week as a weekly celebration of the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ from the dead.

Eutychus means “fortunate.” The Latin name for Eutychus is Fortunatus. But Eutychus is not very fortunate on this Sunday night. He definitely didn’t get away with sleeping in church. And this is the only mention of Eutychus in all of Scripture! Imagine looking down on earth from heaven and knowing that the ONLY thing for which you are remembered is that you fell asleep in church. By the way – let that be a warning to any of you who might be thinking of nodding off during today’s sermon…

It is interesting that Eutychus is not only remembered for this, his story mentions him by name.

Luke could have told this story and said, “One day Paul was preaching and going on and on, and someone fell asleep and fell right out of the window.”

But nooo. Luke calls him by name.

This is a tragic story! This boy went to church to worship God, and look what happened – he died! How would you feel if this happened to someone in a church service that you were attending? Would you say to yourself that no one could survive a fall from that height? Would you then become angry with God because you knew that the person would not have been dead if he had not been in that church service worshipping God? Some of us would react this way. Probably the boy’s parents and relatives felt this way, and they were very angry with God.

Why didn’t God pinch Eutychus and wake him up before he fell out of the window? Why didn’t God cause someone to notice that Eutychus was in trouble and in a precarious position?


Source: http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/for-all-those-who-fall-asleep-in-church-johnny-creasong-sermon-on-examples-of-faith-134427.asp

ok

iceberylin:
We dont sleep in FRANCE

smh

Ogologo akuko

if you sleep in the church, its forgivable but if snore while sleeping in the Church... forget it, you can't make heaven...
BTW, this kulikuli sweet o

Serenity22:
Anyone dat can fall asleep in church is amazing, how do u sleep wt dat much noise? Speakers blaring, drumming, everyone In a frenzy. I cant sleep with any noise

sleep never catch you wella

spillyboy14:
1. Sleeping in Church no good. we gree. But OP, those your stories no tally at all. The bible verses too no rhyme.

2. How I no go sleep for church where the preacher dey extra boring? For Instance "no beef intended just sayin ma opinion" When I had no option but to follow my uncle which I was squatting with to Deeper Life, The live sermon by Kumuyi was always extra boring.
That man preaches like he is reading a novel. I gats sleep off.

Wait hold on. Before I go.

This France guy, "we dont sleep in france, we dont know him in france, we dont bla bla bla in france........and so on". Has anyone told you those lines of yours are very wack? If you are trying to create a label for your self? You need to upgrade.

I pray for wisdom upon you.


Out..

so am not the only one,i dont know y i fall asleep during the man's sermon maybe because am watching it 2ru tv sha

Its When people like op preach that ppl ll fall asleep

Drsmith01:
I will coment after the sermon.am i church

No u are not