Without having to bother you with unnecessary preambles, I'll just get down to the list.

Spurn the rules: The world was created without rules and it still functions without rules. The waters can decide to overflow its banks whenever it chooses. The wind can decide to blow towards a different direction whenever it feels like doing so. Except for those confined within zoos, animals too do not live by rules. So are the humans. Rules were only invented by power-hungry folks in order to check your growth, and they succeeded in installing almost impregnable measures to ensure you were conditioned right from birth to adhere to these rules. Like the animals in the zoo, the rules are your zoo; a restraint to your nature-given freedom of exploration and adventure. If you want to be successful, you have to spurn as many rules as possible and you have to do it wisely. It's always better to make the rules yourself than follow established ones created by someone else. Let your imaginations soar positively and religiously develop the habit of bending any rule that would prevent you from acting on it.

Limit the distance you keep with women: Women as species are obsessively selfish, infinitely sly and inherently manipulative. However, these attributes shouldn't be considered as negative qualities. From an objective angle, they're simply tools they picked up along the way as they grew to ensure their survival in this harsh world of ours. Unlike the men, their ability to survive depends on their ability to get a man to die for them. When they ensnare such man, they make him willing to serve by codifying his service to them with insane romantic terms, and further encourage him to be more vulnerable to incessant manipulations. They'll attempt everything with their power to get the man to deviate from his purpose and live to fulfill theirs. No woman is an exception to this, unless in the rarest instance her purpose coincidentally matches yours. Seeking out these rare exceptions requires enormous time away from your pursuits– a luxury you aren't afforded with in today's world. So, if you chance upon these women be willing to covet them; they'll push you beyond your limits to achieve your goals for your success is their success. Else, maintain as much distance with women as you can for how high your success climbs is directly proportional to the amount of distance you keep with women.

Always lie: This is very important because to be successful in your ventures you have to learn to market yourself. And to be a great marketer you have to be a great liar. This assertion is evident everywhere; the media always lie to increase their viewership; women always lie to gain sympathy; men always lie to make themselves more presentable; politicians always lie to canvass for your votes. The world thrives on lies. Yet, you wonder why you're often encouraged to always say the truth? It's simple; nobody wants to be deceived but everybody wants to deceive somebody. It's the only way to prove smartness, which is an invaluable quality you must arm yourself with. Your degree of smartness is determined by how capable you can lie. Even the bible highly recommends this in the Book of Genesis.

Develop the spirit of retaliation: No matter the myriads of equality jargons being forced down your throat, don't forget you’re living in a cut-throat world. Don't ever forget it's a survival of the fittest out there. If at one moment you give off the scent of weakness, those who think they're stronger than you will seize the opportunity to pounce on you. They'll keep coming at you again and again and again until you're crushed into oblivion. This scenario is applied in every endeavour, be it the simple quest of building a family or the arduous pursuit of achieving a lofty goal. To be successful, you should develop the habit of fighting back in the 'wisest' capacity as you can. You should be able to incapacitate your attacker forever. Else, you'll be the one to be incapacitated. Donald Trump, the biggest estate developer in New York practises this and it's evident where that practice gotten him.

Advance with technology: This isn't that unconventional, it's nonetheless worth mentioning. Almost every activity we perform today is linked in one way or the other to technology. And as technology advances, the subsequent changes it triggers also trickle down to these activities. Thus, your ability to survive depends on how fast your innovations can advance with technology. If yours is too slow, you'll risk being overtaken. If it’s stagnant, you'll risk becoming as extinct as the dinosaurs.

Masturbate whenever you're feeling depressed: The road to success is indeed a thorny one. Often, it will try you capacity to withstand pain and your willingness to forge ahead. Depression will often steal upon you during such moments and fill you with doubts. When it happens, try as much as possible to neglect the popular and banal advice of talking to someone about it. It would be a waste of time if you do because nobody really wants hear about your depression. They might be willing to listen once or twice but after that you're a nuisance unless you pay them. Instead of talking to people who don't want to listen to you, grab a lubricant and masturbate. It's been proven to be far more effective than talking to people due the temporary state of euphoria it triggers in your brain. Like a system that reboots after crashing, masturbation wipes your depression and restores your brain to its original and hope–filled state before depression came calling. Once done masturbating, dive into work immediately and you'd be amazed at the extent at which your imaginations would extend. However, you have to moderate the number of times you masturbate as too much might leave you fuzzy and forgetful.

Bonus: Never trust anybody. Not even your God.

PS: You won’t get this kind of advice anywhere. So, practise at your own risk. Neglect at your own expense.

Phew! The graveyard is littered with esoteric wisdom. It's available to only those who can see without looking.

By YourCoffin

Nice...

Advice from hell. Readers beware.

Gerrrrrrout of NIGERIA!

KLand:
Advice from hell. Readers beware.

You're already in hell bro. You'll get to find out when you can't endure the fires no more.

KanwuliaJara:
Gerrrrrrout of NIGERIA!

There's nothing like Nigeria here in the graveyard

I would take ur advise even though am a woman

Thanks op

YourCoffin:


You're already in hell bro. You'll get to find out when you can't endure the fires no more.

Did I abuse you? Anyway, I forgive you.

Nonso23:
Machiavellianism redefined

Who is he? Is he from Congo? I read only Congolese books.

KLand:


Did I abuse you? Anyway, I forgive you.

It was never an insult. There's nothing to forgive, sir.

YourCoffin:


There's nothing like Nigeria here in the graveyard

NIGERIA IS THE GRAVEYARD!
Shior!

YourCoffin:


It was never an insult. There's nothing to forgive, sir.

Hmmmmmm. I dey laff ooooo

Great article meehn!
Had to resurrect this thread from 2years ago.
Don't necessarily agree with No 2 and 6, but the lessons are there to be learnt.

Great piece @ YourCoffin.

DonX001:
Great article meehn!
Had to resurrect this thread from 2years ago.
Don't necessarily agree with No 2 and 6, but the lessons are there to be learnt.

Great piece @ YourCoffin.

And I'm resurrecting it 3 years later.
Lalasticala please do the needful.

Raalsalghul:
And I'm resurrecting it 3 years later.
Lalasticala please do the needful.

Lol. Lala never hears unless there's a picture of a snake or big python somewhere...