Hey guys,

You can read at http://1stfebruary./2014/12/16/should-my-wife-be-my-next-of-kin/ if you'd prefer. I'm looking forward to your comments. Let's discuss.


A huge part of a married man’s responsibilities centres around providing for and protecting his family.

While the financial aspect of this is not alone, it can be said to be at least 50% of it. Apart from this, I am also of the opinion that it is also the married man’s responsibility to ensure that his wife his productive. What do I mean you ask?

It is common knowledge that some men “prefer” their wives to be stay at home mums. Their reasons range from patting their ego to being family conscious; from “my salary can feed this entire town, therefore I don’t want you to work because I am all-sufficient” to “I think you should stop work so that our children will receive better care.”

While some of these reasons may be tangible and some even terrible, it is important to know that we live in a different and uncertain world with an increasingly volatile economy. People lose their jobs en masse daily, companies are always looking for newer ways to go lean, people get in freak accidents, people get terminally ill, people eventually die (regardless of how immortal you feel now)

If you are uncomfortable with your wife’s working hours as a career woman, a suitable compromise would be to set up a business for her, dealing in anything from clothes to groceries. For convenience sake, you can set it up a few miles from where you live.
It is very vital to make sure that your wife is independent financially. This makes her feel useful but more to the point, this can be your saving grace when the rainy day comes.

More to the crux of the matter, my father died even before I was a teenager so I can tell you that I have first hand knowledge on this. My father’s siblings whom my dad and mum toiled for all through their married life not only abandoned us when he passed on but also made it their life’s mission to try to frustrate us. My dad did not leave a will in the first place so they really tried to take the few assets he left behind. The one wise decision that I would always love my father for was the fact that he made my mother his next of kin. It was so bad that his brothers went to his office to collect any entitlement that might be in his name. Their journey was in vain only because they were not listed as his beneficiaries.

It was in this period that my mother’s siblings stepped up. They probably don’t know how much I appreciate them for that. They came straight from work every day, playing with us and getting more involved in our lives and always reminding us that we had family. Meanwhile my father’s siblings whom my mother paid their school fees and pocket money (from her personal salary) were looking for ways to frustrate her and move her out. It has only been God.

I know for a fact that entitlement ran out nearly a decade ago. Our only saving grace was that my mother had started a career so she put in her energy into that to ensure that she didn’t lose it just so that her 4 children would have sound education and not miss out on anything children with fathers had.

Look, the truth of the matter is that your priorities must change upon marriage. You are a family man now. Your financial planning strategies must change when you get married and especially when you start having children.

Financial planning is not just about piling the money and the properties, it is especially about making sure that the right people have access to it when eventualities occur.

Trust me when I say that I have seen first hand how the love of money becomes the root of all evil.

Putting your wife as your next of kin does not ensure that your family members will leave your properties for your wife to use to care for herself and your children after your demise, but it definitely gives her the legal backing that is required to gain what should rightfully be for their care. Wise men put their houses in the names of their wives or as a joint ownership. They are far from stupid. How will you feel watching on from heaven and seeing your beloved wife and children roaming the streets when you left earthly riches for their care and protection?

Don’t get me wrong, I never said that you shouldn’t support your parents/siblings.
For them, if you have the capability, you should set them up to be financially independent. You could do this by sponsoring an apprenticeship (for a vocational or professional skill) and then give a sizable amount to set up their own establishment.

As I always say, people change when FOOD and MONEY are involved. Don’t be so sure that your siblings would be as loyal to your legacy in your absence as they are in your presence. Those that are are indeed a rarity.

As a last note, I cannot even begin to overemphasize the necessity and importance of a will. It is true that most families contest a will which is legally binding, but even at that you are rest assured that there is written evidence of how you want your life’s work shared among the people you care for the most.

In conclusion, please always learn to put your “house” in order. Life is fragile and short. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. The legal documents you sign also matter. Don’t just put your signature anywhere. People have been tricked into forfeiting their assets this way. Read before you sign. Get a will written up regardless of how little you think you have and get it edited as your assets and liabilities fluctuate.

Try to avoid debt so that it will not be your legacy or the inheritance of your children when you pass on. Also go back to documents you signed before you got married or had children and be careful to edit or add beneficiaries where necessary.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below… Let’s discuss

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good point at OP.

i used my daughter of two years old as my next of kin.
people are dangerous and i don't want anybody to kill me
because of fifteen million Naira death assurance.

greatdeal1408:
good point at OP.

i used my daughter of two years old as my next of kin.
people are dangerous and i don't want anybody to kill me
because of fifteen million Naira death assurance.

#15 u mean?

lafflaff123:
.

First to comment abi

agarawu23:
#15 u mean?

Lol. Regardless of the amount, we need to be careful and plan ahead. This life is so fragile.

agarawu23:
#15 u mean?

15,000,000.00

ifeojobas:


Lol. Regardless of the amount, we need to be careful and plan ahead. This life is so fragile.

marriage is no longer for eternity. anything can happen

greatdeal1408:
good point at OP.

i used my daughter of two years old as my next of kin.
people are dangerous and i don't want anybody to kill me
because of fifteen million Naira death assurance.

Thank you sir... Yes o. At least you will know that in case of anything, she is set for life, education and business wise etc. I wish all fathers planned ahead like you. That's why some people even buy property and hide them because they don't want any family member to kill them before their time.

ifeojobas:


Lol. Regardless of the amount, we need to be careful and plan ahead. This life is so fragile.

ys bro

greatdeal1408:


15,000,000.00

ok #15 0 0 0 now I get u

greatdeal1408:


marriage is no longer for eternity. anything can happen

Infact nothing is for eternity anymore. Parents kill their children because of inheritance and vice versa. The koko is to do your own. And remember I said always update your will and documents as your assets and liabilities change. That also applies to your relatives. Update as some die and some are born. And really it is your will, you are free to update as you deem fit. But be fair and wise about it.

agarawu23:
ys bro

I be girl o

ifeojobas:
First to comment abi

lol

Wise words.... But such threads won't interest males on nl. *don't ask me why please.

ifeojobas:
I be girl o

a picture of u or idontblvit

LaRoyalHighness:
Wise words.... But such threads won't interest males on nl. *don't ask me why pleas.

Thanks babes. Lol... Some males here have dropped their comments and opinions naa... We have cool guys on Nairaland jor!

Ok.. Let me even read up sef..

ifeojobas:


Thanks babes. Lol... Some males here have dropped their comments and opinions naa... We have cool guys on Nairaland jor!

Or please quote just One' comment from a cool guy on NL in this thread to prove me wrong... Thanks in advance.

ifeojobas:


Thanks babes. Lol... Some males here have dropped their comments and opinions naa... We have cool guys on Nairaland jor!

LaRoyalHighness:
Or please quote just One' comment from a cool guy on NL in this thread to prove me wrong... Thanks in advance.

Read the comments of greatdeal1408 jor

ifeojobas:

wow! u look cute

agarawu23:
wow! u look cute

Thanks

I think children should be.

Done... Read your post again... And read his comment. ..lol... I see someone that don't trust the wife to be his next of kin.

ifeojobas:


Read the comments of greatdeal1408 jor

greatdeal1408:
good point at OP.

i used my daughter of two years old as my next of kin.
people are dangerous and i don't want anybody to kill me
because of fifteen million Naira death assurance.

You are funny. You think if your wife is determined to kill you for your insurance, the fact you made your toddler next of kin would be a hindrance? The toddler cannot sign any document or initiate any process in the advent of (God forbid) your demise at this stage. Your wife will still be the one to receive all benefits even if it is in the toddlers behalf.

gidjah:
I think children should be.

Children should not be until they are of age. Next of kin is not just a name it has serious legal consequences. If for any reason legal proceedings are required will an eight year old child be able to make any meaningful contribution?

LaRoyalHighness:
Done... Read your post again... And read his comment. ..lol... I see someone that don't trust the wife to be his next of kin.

He is not at fault. He is talking from that viewpoint because of how funny women can be. That is why I mentioned that children sef are not pure. The main thing is to put your house in order. But the truth is that if you don't trust your wife..... Wahala dey o

LordReed:


Children should not be until they are of age. Next of kin is not just a name it has serious legal consequences. If for any reason legal proceedings are required will an eight year old child be able to make any meaningful contribution?

You are quite right sir. Most people do that as they don't even plan to die before the child is of age. Nobody wants to die but we all want to go to heaven....

LordReed:


You are funny. You think if your wife is determined to kill you for your insurance, the fact you made your toddler next of kin would be a hindrance? The toddler cannot sign any document or initiate any process in the advent of (God forbid) your demise at this stage. Your wife will still be the one to receive all benefits even if it is in the toddlers behalf.

That's why it's not just about next of kin. Especially when it comes to your children, please plan. So many banks have different types of children friendly bank accounts nowadays. There are ways that regardless of your child's age, he or she will be the beneficiary of the proceeds. This is why I also said draw up a will and leave precise instructions.

LaRoyalHighness:
Done... Read your post again... And read his comment. ..lol... I see someone that don't trust the wife to be his next of kin.

Of which the koko is that he analyzed and brought up his own viewpoint. Some guys are not even thinking past the next N500 recharge card.

ifeojobas:


That's why it's not just about next of kin. Especially when it comes to your children, please plan. So many banks have different types of children friendly bank accounts nowadays. There are ways that regardless of your child's age, he or she will be the beneficiary of the proceeds. This is why I also said draw up a will and leave precise instructions.

Solid advice.