how far is too much when dating a guy and you want to do it the godly way?. i love this guy and we knew each other since january last year. started dating around june. i have refused to go to his house till recently.i used to pull away from all those hugging or touching and the rest and i told him no sex but somehow i started feeling i wasnt affectionate enough and that may pull him away if he can not hug me freely without me being uptight about it or pat me on the leg and all those stuff. recently, i tried to start going to his house and to enter sef was a big deal for me. my question now is he wants to hug me, put his head on my chest, touch me, wants me to be confortable and trust him enough to lie on his bed along side with him maybe while we watch a movie and trust him enough to know he wont hurt me or would never rape me or have sex with me if i do not want....even though i tried this once with him but i was so uneasy when he wanted coming close or just hugging me on the bed and telling me to hug him back. am i reading too much meaning to all this? do i have to be this scared? am not just ready to be used and dumped by some guy....are all this stuff normal and ok? i dont wana displease God also. i just wana do it the right way. how much is too much? where is the boundary to be set?

[size=16pt]RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. SHINE YA EYES [/size]

Na small small dem dey take catch snake. If you don't draw boundaries now, this guy will soon start sticking it to you.

In a relationship, a woman has the greatest say about establishable boundaries. Believe me my dear, if you don't do something abt it now, u might come back here seeking for counsel on whether you should keep or abort the pregnancy and other related crimes.

First of all, how old are you?

carefreewannabe:
First of all, how old are you?

like that was the question right? dunno why some people act so much in an high handed manner, that someone is chaste and conscious of her morals is something appluadable, thumbs up lady, no matter how old you are, tis good you aint ready to let any man touch you anyhow, and see, guys are deceptive, dont let the guy much space, he knows how you were before approaching you.

josh001:

like that was the question right? dunno why some people act so much in an high handed manner, that someone is chaste and conscious of her morals is something appluadable, thumbs up lady, no matter how old you are, tis good you aint ready to let any man touch you anyhow, and see, guys are deceptive, dont let the guy much space, he knows how you were before approaching you.

You are entitled to your opinion.

carefreewannabe:
First of all, how old are you?

21?

carefreewannabe:
First of all, how old are you?

21 actually

The problem with most of you.
You are one of those irritating species of humans that loves mind-games.
IF YOU DON'T WANT SEX. . . STAY AWAY FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX!
Why set yourself up?

It is too early in the year to haul insults. . . still on vacationing mood!

But. . . with all due 'disrespects'. . .You are an *&^%(!!!!!

joyce2013:
21 actually

Don't do anything you feel uncomfortable with.

I don't want to be loved in this way fa.

I agree that you should stay way from the opposite sex, if you must avoid sex.

If not, be prepared for heavy petting at the very least.

KanwuliaJara:
The problem with most of you.
You are one of those irritating species of humans that loves mind-games.
IF YOU DON'T WANT SEX. . . STAY AWAY FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX!
Why set yourself up?

It is too early in the year to haul insults. . . still on vacationing mood!

But. . . with all due 'disrespects'. . .You are an *&^%(!!!!!

so i should not marry?.........or i should end marrying myself. or marrying you if you are a handsome guy with all due respect. thats if you are a guy sef.

joyce2013:

so i should not marry?.........or i should end marrying myself. or marrying you if you are a handsome guy with all due respect. thats if you are a guy sef.

You are being a HYPOCRITE!
You will soon get rape-d!
Keep dangling yourself like an 'Hausa carrot' in front of 'randy' dudes.
The 'godly' way indeed!
If you were well brought up. . . .YOU SHOULD NOT BE ALONE WITH A GUY. . . .IN HIS HOUSE OR ON THE SAME BED!

What are you doing with an 'ungodly' guy that wants to KWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH?
Is that how 'godly' people get married?
No godly guy will invite you to his HOUSE without a 'chaperon'!

Yeye de smell!
Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.

*You have had your one post. . . . Please, not interested in what ever you write. Abeg dress go meet anoda poster*

Well, you need to understand something. All that's on your boyfriends mind is sexx, sexx and more sexx. His main goal is to get you to have sexx, period. So all this getting you comfortable with him, being romantic blah blah blah is just the means to an end. Stop going to his house or it will likely happen one day and you'll probably regret it. It may mean the end to the relationship but that's a choice you have to make. Being alone in the house with him and on the bed when you are not ready to have sexx is purely asking for trouble.

ileobatojo:
Well, you need to understand something. All that's on your boyfriends mind is sexx, sexx and more sexx. His main goal is to get you to have sexx, period. So all this getting you comfortable with him, being romantic blah blah blah is just the means to an end. Stop going to his house or it will likely happen one day and you'll probably regret it. It may mean the end to the relationship but that's a choice you have to make. Being alone in the house with him and on the bed when you are not ready to have sexx is purely asking for trouble.

thanks ....i got that....its not acceptable....sometimes love makes you forget some morals.....i needed someone to dig morals back to my head. thanks

Stay away from his house, avoid kissing if you really don't want to have s.ex with him.
Most guys agree to be in the 'no s.ex ' relationship with the hope that with time you will change your mind once you are comfortable with them.

Just watch, if all he wants is s.ex, he will start cheating on you and end the relationship.
Keep yourself for your future hubby, he'll be proud of you and I assure you, you will be glad you did.

I'm not saying virginity is the surest way to have a happy home but it goes a long way.Your hubby will be happy.

@ op you posted this few months back... should we now beleive that you have stopped watching indecency?

https://www.nairaland.com/1575007/why-white-indecency-turns-me#20575099.

You don't want to eat it,yet you keep smelling it.

You have to make up your mind what you really want.With the way things are going between you and this guy,you will end up having sex and it will likely be unprotected because it will be unplanned and that means you might get pregnant.
If you put a stop to this,it might make you lose this relationship.There is a better man for you if it happens.

joyce2013:
how far is too much when dating a guy and you want to do it the godly way?. i love this guy and we knew each other since january last year. started dating around june. i have refused to go to his house till recently.i used to pull away from all those hugging or touching and the rest and i told him no sex but somehow i started feeling i wasnt affectionate enough and that may pull him away if he can not hug me freely without me being uptight about it or pat me on the leg and all those stuff. recently, i tried to start going to his house and to enter sef was a big deal for me. my question now is he wants to hug me, put his head on my chest, touch me, wants me to be confortable and trust him enough to lie on his bed along side with him maybe while we watch a movie and trust him enough to know he wont hurt me or would never rape me or have sex with me if i do not want....even though i tried this once with him but i was so uneasy when he wanted coming close or just hugging me on the bed and telling me to hug him back. am i reading too much meaning to all this? do i have to be this scared? am not just ready to be used and dumped by some guy....are all this stuff normal and ok? i dont wana displease God also. i just wana do it the right way. how much is too much? where is the boundary to be set?

sweety if the guy don't like it that way then let him go. I think he wants more than wot his asking for. he is just taking it slowly.

Why are you still dating this brother if your principles so blatantly contradict each other's? To your question about how much romance is too much? When it's more than you can handle or you're comfortable with.

joyce2013:

thanks ....i got that....its not acceptable....sometimes love makes you forget some morals.....i needed someone to dig morals back to my head. thanks

You are still dating him na. What makes you so sure that you will marry him. Dating a guy and visiting him to the point of staying alone with him in his bed is an invitation to sex No matter How holy you claim you are.

AWONEYAN:
@ op you posted this few months back... should we now beleive that you have stopped watching indecency?

https://www.nairaland.com/1575007/why-white-indecency-turns-me#20575099.

that was a phase of my life

anthoniaz:


Stay away from his house, avoid kissing if you really don't want to have s.ex with him.
Most guys agree to be in the 'no s.ex ' relationship with the hope that with time you will change your mind once you are comfortable with them.

Just watch, if all he wants is s.ex, he will start cheating on you and end the relationship.
Keep yourself for your future hubby, he'll be proud of you and I assure you, you will be glad you did.

I'm not saying virginity is the surest way to have a happy home but it goes a long way.Your hubby will be happy.

thanks.....got it. there wasnt kissing anyways.....we should meet outdoors.....that settles the issue of sex temptation...from you i have gotten one of the best advice i could ever have in my life

joyce2013:

thanks.....got it. there wasnt kissing anyways.....we should meet outdoors.....that settles the issue of sex temptation...from you i have gotten one of the best advice i could ever have in my life

I'm glad
There's something I forgot to mention. DON'T make demands, if he gives you anything, you can collect, but don't demand. You know why? So you won't feel you are indebted to him.I know you love him and want to keep him, be wise

anthoniaz:

I'm glad
There's something I forgot to mention. DON'T make demands, if he gives you anything, you can collect, but don't demand. You know why? So you won't feel you are indebted to him.I know you love him and want to keep him, be wise

Thanks alot. but i wonder, you seem to speak from experience. either positive or negative i cant say though. but its nice to be able to learn from you

josh001:

like that was the question right? dunno why some people act so much in an high handed manner, that someone is chaste and conscious of her morals is something appluadable, thumbs up lady, no matter how old you are, tis good you aint ready to let any man touch you anyhow, and see, guys are deceptive, dont let the guy much space, he knows how you were before approaching you.

It is a very reasonable question because someone who is mature enough to be in a relationship should at least know if the man she has been dating for so long is capable of raping her. It's one thing to say I don't trust that he would not ask me to go beyond what I'm comfortable with. Since they have not had sex this whole time she should at least be able to vouch for this young mans good character. If she is still confused then she just might not be mature enough for the relationship

joyce2013:
Thanks alot. but i wonder, you seem to speak from experience. either positive or negative i cant say though. but its nice to be able to learn from you

Yeah, the first guy I dated before I met my hubby.We broke up after three years when he couldn't get what he wanted.

I told him right from beginning, he agreed thinking I would give in later on.I only visited his family house, I never demanded for anything. The only money he gave me then was the #750 recharge card he sent me.He introduced me to everyone in his family.The parents knew me well and took me like their daughter but I never allowed that to change my sense of reasoning. I'm this very cautious type cos I'm very emotional. The only time I visited him ( we were in different states), Na God save me.When he couldn't get what he wanted, he stopped calling, stopped answering my calls.Then, he flashed me one morning after like two weeks of no communication, I called back immediately, he gave the phone to a girl to answer me.I called back several times thinking it was network.

He's married to that babe now with two kids cos when I visited him, the girl was always coming to the house to cook, he claimed they were friends.He just finished from NDA then so he was staying with a friend inside the baracks cos according to him, his accommodation wasn't ready (he took me to the place sha).

If I had given in to his pressure, he might still have gone ahead with the other girl because it's possible he told her I'm his sister.I thank God I didn't allow his sweet mouth to make me do something I'd be regretting now.

You are very very young, be wise
Sorry for the long story.

I love your sincerity girl.

joyce2013:

that was a phase of my life

joyce2013:
how far is too much when dating a guy and you want to do it the godly way?. i love this guy and we knew each other since january last year. started dating around june. i have refused to go to his house till recently.i used to pull away from all those hugging or touching and the rest and i told him no sex but somehow i started feeling i wasnt affectionate enough and that may pull him away if he can not hug me freely without me being uptight about it or pat me on the leg and all those stuff. recently, i tried to start going to his house and to enter sef was a big deal for me. my question now is he wants to hug me, put his head on my chest, touch me, wants me to be confortable and trust him enough to lie on his bed along side with him maybe while we watch a movie and trust him enough to know he wont hurt me or would never rape me or have sex with me if i do not want....even though i tried this once with him but i was so uneasy when he wanted coming close or just hugging me on the bed and telling me to hug him back. am i reading too much meaning to all this? do i have to be this scared? am not just ready to be used and dumped by some guy....are all this stuff normal and ok? i dont wana displease God also. i just wana do it the right way. how much is too much? where is the boundary to be set?

Helo. I want to post your question to our facebook page where you get more responses. On facebook search for Nigerian Papalette. But i need your permission first.

joyce2013:
how far is too much when dating a guy and you want to do it the godly way?. i love this guy and we knew each other since january last year. started dating around june. i have refused to go to his house till recently.i used to pull away from all those hugging or touching and the rest and i told him no sex but somehow i started feeling i wasnt affectionate enough and that may pull him away if he can not hug me freely without me being uptight about it or pat me on the leg and all those stuff. recently, i tried to start going to his house and to enter sef was a big deal for me. my question now is he wants to hug me, put his head on my chest, touch me, wants me to be confortable and trust him enough to lie on his bed along side with him maybe while we watch a movie and trust him enough to know he wont hurt me or would never rape me or have sex with me if i do not want....even though i tried this once with him but i was so uneasy when he wanted coming close or just hugging me on the bed and telling me to hug him back. am i reading too much meaning to all this? do i have to be this scared? am not just ready to be used and dumped by some guy....are all this stuff normal and ok? i dont wana displease God also. i just wana do it the right way. how much is too much? where is the boundary to be set?

Helo. I want to post your question to our facebook page where you get more responses. On facebook search for Nigerian Papalette. But i need your permission first.

OP, meat wey person dey forbid, e no dey use teeth share am o.

anthoniaz:

Yeah, the first guy I dated before I met my hubby.We broke up after three years when he couldn't get what he wanted.

I told him right from beginning, he agreed thinking I would give in later on.I only visited his family house, I never demanded for anything. The only money he gave me then was the #750 recharge card he sent me.He introduced me to everyone in his family.The parents knew me well and took me like their daughter but I never allowed that to change my sense of reasoning. I'm this very cautious type cos I'm very emotional. The only time I visited him ( we were in different states), Na God save me.When he couldn't get what he wanted, he stopped calling, stopped answering my calls.Then, he flashed me one morning after like two weeks of no communication, I called back immediately, he gave the phone to a girl to answer me.I called back several times thinking it was network.

He's married to that babe now with two kids cos when I visited him, the girl was always coming to the house to cook, he claimed they were friends.He just finished from NDA then so he was staying with a friend inside the baracks cos according to him, his accommodation wasn't ready (he took me to the place sha).

If I had given in to his pressure, he might still have gone ahead with the other girl because it's possible he told her I'm his sister.I thank God I didn't allow his sweet mouth to make me do something I'd be regretting now.

You are very very young, be wise
Sorry for the long story.

wow......thats serious. thanks