Gboliwe:


I started that post by saying the thread was a true picture of us nigerians.

Next I blamed every one but ME in bold. On this thread since the update, every single one of us have blamed A and B but ME (his/her self). Every one has been pointing fingers but accepting that there was just something he or she could have done better.

I went on to say that until we all (including myself if I actually exonerated myself) realise this we would continue the fight.

Then I called for solutions.

Tell me how Gboliwe was exonerated

See below

shinejackie:
.

But you exonerated yourself and sentenced others to the failure class, it is what you wrote she repeated...

Oh...i see. A misunderstanding of the ME part. Simple explanation would have done the trick.

I apologize for misunderstanding the post.

@gboliwe

Idowuogbo:


See below

So, even after explaining the post, you still don't understand it?

Gboliwe:


I started that post by saying the thread was a true picture of us nigerians.

Next I blamed every one but ME in bold. On this thread since the update, every single one of us have blamed A and B but ME (his/her self). Every one has been pointing fingers but accepting that there was just something he or she could have done better.

I went on to say that until we all (including myself if I actually exonerated myself) realise this we would continue the fight.

Then I called for solutions.

Tell me how Gboliwe was exonerated

I think you were misunderstood.
Sorry abt that.

Gboliwe:


I started that post by saying the thread was a true picture of us nigerians.

Next I blamed every one but ME in bold. On this thread since the update, every single one of us have blamed A and B but ME (his/her self). Every one has been pointing fingers but accepting that there was just something he or she could have done better.

I went on to say that until we all (including myself if I actually exonerated myself) realise this we would continue the fight.

Then I called for solutions.

Tell me how Gboliwe was exonerated

Thanks for the explanation. I was surprised when I saw your initial post too. I did seem like you were exonorating yourself but I'm glad we were the ones who didn't understand your statement.

Yes we all failed on this if this turns our a failure. ( of which it isn't yet, mind you). No matter how vindicated Anyone may feel that they had done their best in terms of inputs, if a project fails, no less one that involves lives, it will leave a bad taste on everyone involved.

May God intervene in our areas of inadequacies and help us in this case. Amen.

Gboliwe:


So, even after explaining the post, you still don't understand it?

Ooops! My bad..i missed the 'including myself' part.Moving on...

Idowuogbo:

Ooops! My bad..i missed the 'including myself' part.Moving on...

Lol

Just to clarify hopefully once and for all, emmysexy's post didn't trigger our update.
I take full responsibility for delaying the update and i apologise if you felt you aren't being carried along.

The fact of the matter is, as a team (TeHN) we always have to ensure we've covered all nitty gritty details before communicating so we can ensure our message is consistent and concise.

Timeline of events for those interested.
9th Jan - 11th Jan
The analyses of the first set of results (blood tests) done by the doctors working with us coupled with hammed's utterances about how he was feeling much better suggested he only TB and the treatment he was on was already working wonders.

Week begining 12th Jan
DJ's other results (CT Scan) came through last week with a caveat that they had to seek second opinion from their counterpart in NY. We couldn't have updated you guys at this point simply because it was quite possible for second opinion to differ from the initial.

We had to give the doctors working with us ample time to go over the 220+ pictures from the scan so they can give us their expert opinion considering the fact that the new angle came as a shock since the blood tests and every other tests gave him a somewhat clean bill of health.

Once we became convinced of the dire situation with regards to the cancer diagnosis, we had to facilitate a meeting for hammed to see the LCC doctors so they can take him through the results as well as counsel him. This was done on wednesday

We started working on our draft communication to you guys on thursday. I agree that the draft shouldn't have taken long but as a team, we always ensure everyone's view and input is captured before publishing hence the regrettable but necessary delays.

Lastly, we understand your frustrations and accept criticisms even if they aren't merited but be rest assured we are doing everything we possibly can within our capacity to ensure DJ gets better.

Thanks for your support

Just to clear up some misconceptions;
We haven't spent 70% of the funds donated as claimed. Total expenditure is barely 50% and the question of good value for money for what was spent will surely be addressed much later.

We did investigate the India option on 2 seperate occassions with enquiries on treatment cost for what would have been a misdiagnosis as it now appears.

Caracta:

The only reason I'm still here is because TEHN is involved and I was one of those that called for them. I'm more comfortable with my offline role. And like I told DJ himself, I'll always stand by him. I remember when we wanted to move him from Eruwa, a team was set up and everyone was posting and mentioning a particular hospital. Even the team members were all clamouring for this hospital suggested by a Nairalander who claimed he had gone there and made arrangements. We set up an ambulance and just before the trip, I had this urge to call the hospital and be double sure. I called and they told me no space.

And I asked myself, what if I didn't call?We would have moved a patient in ambulance to a hospital and get turned back. So we had to start looking for hospital all over Lagos again. Funny. See, it's easy for people to type away and pass blames.

I am not even discouraged...just wish some people could be on ground and see things for themselves.

All in all...moving on.

Well done Caracta for the discouraging words. Sorry to draw u back.What do u mean by some prefer to be typing than to be on ground? And what do u mean by a particular team that moved DJ? Pls clarify that part cos to me,u just rubbished all d efforts we did. As if we are here to play

olu4life:

Well done Caracta for the discouraging words. Sorry to draw u back.What do u mean by some prefer to be typing than to be on ground? And what do u mean by a particular team that moved DJ? Pls clarify that part cos to me,u just rubbished all d efforts we did. As if we are here to play

Sorry if you find it offensive. That wasn't my intention.

Just trying to hammer on the fact that it's easier said than done. And like I said, we have all made mistakes at one point or the other. We just need to learn and do things better henceforth.

It's nothing personal. We worked based on the info we had. Just like any other person would have done. It's not about the team.

You feel discouraged? Trust me, you are not the only one. We just have to forge ahead because we haven't achieved our goal.

Clarified?

Caracta:


Sorry if you find it offensive. That wasn't my intention.

Just trying to hammer on the fact that it's easier said than done. And like I said, we have all made mistakes at one point or the other. We just need to learn and do things better henceforth.

It's nothing personal. We worked based on the info we had. Just like any other person would have done. It's not about the team.

You feel discouraged? Trust me, you are not the only one. We just have to forge ahead because we haven't achieved our goal.

Clarified?

Good.

Way forward biko

Tehn pls caution your team
DJ medical info should remain confidential till a public report from your team

Your gfnds shouldn't come here to create confusion.
Address your factions pls

chidyhels:
Tehn pls caution your team
DJ medical info should remain confidential till a public report from your team

Your gfnds shouldn't come here to create confusion.
Address your factions pls

Please clarify this statement
What do you mean by tehn girlfriends

pickabeau1:



Please clarify this statement
What do you mean by tehn girlfriends

Lmao! You no get girlfriend(s) ni? ok let me rephrase it,caution your aristo mamas. Better now?

Idowuogbo:

Lmao! You no get girlfriend(s) ni? ok let me rephrase it,caution your aristo mamas. Better now?

I will take it that it means a form of comc relief

Ok

@Jaybee3....you guys (TeHN) need to understand that perception is a priority in our situation. Whether true or not....the perception is Emmysexxy's update prompted you guys to post an update and no amount of explanation can erase that perception. Let's leave that one alone. On an update....the nitty gritty that you have to sift through is of little importance to us...that's not and should never be our business. That should be between the medical team and to to a far lesser extent the patient. We just want to know the headlines..."DJ is being Flown to India Jan 25"....we're not interested in where the ticke was booked...which airline....how many suitcases...what he wore and why etc..get my drift? ..just let's know what's goin down. At the moment we're yet to hear from you guys on how he's doing...a bit better?...not as good?...seem tired and fatigued? Please...let's commuunicate and don't leave us in the dark and cause us to speculate. To all...please get off Emmysexxy neck....and stop the personal attack. Not saying we must all agree.....if you don't agree with someone's message or opinion I encourage you to counter it with your own. "If you don't agree with the message do not attack the messenger."

pickabeau1:


I will take it that it means a form of comc relief

Ok

Please do! E never reach make ya eye red na....Oga bee easy...

Originalsly:
@Jaybee3....you guys (TeHN) need to understand that perception is a priority in our situation. Whether true or not....the perception is Emmysexxy's update prompted you guys to post an update and no amount of explanation can erase that perception. Let's leave that one alone. On an update....the nitty gritty that you have to sift through is of little importance to us...that's not and should never be our business. That should be between the medical team and to to a far lesser extent the patient. We just want to know the headlines..."DJ is being Flown to India Jan 25"....we're not interested in where the ticke was booked...which airline....how many suitcases...what he wore and why etc..get my drift? ..just let's know what's goin down. At the moment we're yet to hear from you guys on how he's doing...a bit better?...not as good?...seem tired and fatigued? Please...let's commuunicate and don't leave us in the dark and cause us to speculate. To all...please get off Emmysexxy neck....and stop the personal attack. Not saying we must all agree.....if you don't agree with someone's message or opinion I encourage you to counter it with your own. "If you don't agree with the message do not attack the messenger."

Mr man,easy with the commentary na...your
points are always laced with indirect jabs.Calm yourself abeg! As for this india ish you keep going on and on about,i'll love to see you head the campaign team ya no? you never know your campaign strategy might cough out the millions he'll need for treatments. Start acting and less talking please...cheers!!!

Originalsly:
@Jaybee3....you guys (TeHN) need to understand that perception is a priority in our situation. Whether true or not....the perception is Emmysexxy's update prompted you guys to post an update and no amount of explanation can erase that perception. Let's leave that one alone. On an update....the nitty gritty that you have to sift through is of little importance to us...that's not and should never be our business. That should be between the medical team and to to a far lesser extent the patient. We just want to know the headlines..."DJ is being Flown to India Jan 25"....we're not interested in where the ticke was booked...which airline....how many suitcases...what he wore and why etc..get my drift? ..just let's know what's goin down. At the moment we're yet to hear from you guys on how he's doing...a bit better?...not as good?...seem tired and fatigued? Please...let's commuunicate and don't leave us in the dark and cause us to speculate. To all...please get off Emmysexxy neck....and stop the personal attack. Not saying we must all agree.....if you don't agree with someone's message or opinion I encourage you to counter it with your own. "If you don't agree with the message do not attack the messenger."

We are not trying to change perception as it's really of no importance to us.
We have a responsibility to tell our side of the story so as to clear misconceptions.
It's really up to you guys to derive your own conclusions based on information given.

The quote provided to us by the India hospitals at various times in the past suggested that route is very difficult to pursue as we simply can't afford it as well as not having any sort of guarantees considering he is now supposedly at stage 4.

Our thinking though not final at the moment is improving his quality of life as well as providing an adequate palliative care to improve his health

Lastly, DJ insists he is feeling much better and we pray that remains so

Hmmmmm...this is some tragic ish.

As for the agbayas flexing muscles, make una continue. DJdola is our main concern here so you can all take your ego trips to the mango tree and fight it out there. You r shouting india as if you are going to meet God there. What DJ needs now is proper care and a miracle,not all this fighting. Abeg make una swerve.

Tehn, pls we need an update of DJ's emotional welfare.I hope he hasn't given up hope with this bad news?

Thank God!!!!

pickabeau1:


I will take it that it means a form of comic relief

Ok

...

jaybee3:

We are not trying to change perception as it's really if no importance to us.
We have a responsibility to tell our side of the story so as to clear misconceptions.
It's really up to you guys to derive your own conclusions based on information given.

Our thinking though not final at the moment is improving his quality of life as well as providing an adequate palliative care to improve his health

Lastly, DJ insists he is feeling much better and we pray that remains so

Thank you very much..you did get my drift. On the India route....that was just a part of the example of what I meant by we just need the headlines and not the nitty gritty.Your last line no doubt would now make us feel more hopeful and ease the stress....nice response.

Caracta:
@mynd44, don't be discouraged. It happens. It's expected. I felt that way too at a point. It takes one that faces the REAL situation to understand.

Gboliwe even mentioned that everyone has failed except her. Still waiting for her success story. Perhaps she can come over here to be at his bed side everyday and attend to his needs and demands. Since we have failed, why not just let the successful ones take over?

The only reason I'm still here is because TEHN is involved and I was one of those that called for them. I'm more comfortable with my offline role. And like I told DJ himself, I'll always stand by him. I remember when we wanted to move him from Eruwa, a team was set up and everyone was posting and mentioning a particular hospital. Even the team members were all clamouring for this hospital suggested by a Nairalander who claimed he had gone there and made arrangements. We set up an ambulance and just before the trip, I had this urge to call the hospital and be double sure. I called and they told me no space.

And I asked myself, what if I didn't call?We would have moved a patient in ambulance to a hospital and get turned back. So we had to start looking for hospital all over Lagos again. Funny. See, it's easy for people to type away and pass blames.

I am not even discouraged...just wish some people could be on ground and see things for themselves.

All in all...moving on.

Caracta, in trying to tell everybody to move on, maybe you should also realise you are drawing unecessary bad blood. What exactly are you trying to insinuate with the bolded?

I called that particular hospital as soon as it was agreed that they are good in kidney transplant which is what we all thought was the problem then. I got all the required info chaircover requested for and posted it immediately for all to see. Thank God i didn't post the Dr's nos. I am quite familiar with the staffs of the hospital so I knew the info would be gotten easily. But there was something else, I told them the person is a family member so as to get the best shot from them.

Unfortunately, there was really no team co-ordination then and so many other people started calling and visiting the same hospital to make the same enquires I had already posted, it didn't take long for them to realise it was a community case (for lack of a better word) and somehow, they said there was no space. Recall all the other hospitals that were mentioned online asides this hospital also said there was no space which I am sure was due to the same issue. I recall coming online and explaining why all these hospitals were saying there was no space so we could avoid making the same mistake in future. I didn't for a minute think to blame all those that went or called after me cuz they probably didn't see my post and everybody was just very eager to contribute their little quota.

Now, you can't even imagine the bashing I got for withholding or better still lying about him being a "family member" to them and how much goodwill I lost with this hospital. And it didn't stop there, it's a family hospital, so try and imagine who and who is also scolding me for not being truthful to these guys we've known for so long; I didn't let it get to me cuz I felt that was the best I could to do for DJ to get admitted and maybe enjoy some certain previledges.

So you coming here months after to insinuate something else and say people were just typing away is really not "moving on". It's just unnecessarily reopening old wounds. Good day!

Kimoni:


Caracta, in trying to tell everybody to move on, maybe you should also realise you are drawing unecessary bad blood. What exactly are you trying to insinuate with the bolded?

I called that particular hospital as soon as it was agreed that they are good in kidney transplant which is what we all thought was the problem then. I got all the required info chaircover requested for and posted it immediately for all to see. Thank God i didn't post the Dr's nos. I am quite familiar with the staffs of the hospital so I knew the info would be gotten easily. But there was something else, I told them the person is a family member so as to get the best shot from them.

Unfortunately, there was really no team co-ordination then and so many other people started calling and visiting the same hospital to make the same enquires I had already posted, it didn't take long for them to realise it was a community case (for lack of a better word) and somehow, they said there was no space. Recall all the other hospitals that were mentioned online asides this hospital also said there was no space which I am sure was due to the same issue. I recall coming online and explaining why all these hospitals were saying there was no space so we could avoid making the same mistake in future. I didn't for a minute think to blame all those that went or called after me cuz they probably didn't see my post and everybody was just very eager to contribute their little quota.

Now, you can't even imagine the bashing I got for withholding or better still lying about him being a "family member" to them and how much goodwill I lost with this hospital. And it didn't stop there, it's a family hospital, so try and imagine who and who is also scolding me for not being truthful to these guys we've known for so long; I didn't let it get to me cuz I felt that was the best I could to do for DJ to get admitted and maybe enjoy some certain previledges.

So you coming here months after to insinuate something else and say people were just typing away is really not "moving on". It's just unnecessarily reopening old wounds. Good day!

My brother, don't worry. Don't let it bother you. This thread has taught me soooooooooo much about human nature and other things and I am still learning. Caracta has not failed to remind us that she alone in all her glory has taken or rather carried the burden of this brother. And in every opportunity, chip in how that her caring for him has aFfected her routine. She feels so much for this man more than every one of us and so has done the most work. I don't mean to share her glory with her. Let her bask in the euphoria, it doesn't give me a minus in my life. She has given the reason why she is still here sef. So much for a burden bearer who with one mouth asks for a team and another condemns its activities.

Kimoni

Your post shows how challenging managing tasks of this size can be especially on a volunteer basis

You will recall there was no common coordination then.. Your info on discretion could have been missed

The lesson there is that information should have been managed better to avoid the community calling

If Caracta did not say her own view, no one will know what happened

Based on the fact that the hospital we had in mind was not available, we had to move the patient to the either hospital yet the hospital was roundly condemned.
Some even insinuated we have arrangements with he hospital or hynotised to use the hospital yet some of us donated to help this lad.

Making it about Caracta or not is not the way forward

Gboliwe:


My brother, don't worry. Don't let it bother you. This thread has taught me soooooooooo much about human nature and other things and I am still learning. Caracta has not failed to remind us that she alone in all her glory has taken or rather carried the burden of this brother. And in every opportunity, chip in how that her caring for him has aFfected her routine. She feels so much for this man more than every one of us and so has done the most work. I don't mean to share her glory with her. Let her bask in the euphoria, it doesn't give me a minus in my life. She has given the reason why she is still here sef. So much for a burden bearer who with one mouth asks for a team and another condemns its activities.

.

Why are you picking on Caracta ......l thought she apologized to you and we are all told to move on, which glory is anybody trying to share here , we have all made inputs here either in cash, kind, prayers or goodwill, abeg make una die this matter and hope Dj recuperates....these is not about anybody but the quick recovery of Dj.......

Lol...ok I accept my fault, mistakes, etc.

I shall watch carefully my choice of words in order not to affect the real cause.

Apologies if it went personal or a bit off cause. I need not explain further but I wasn't devaluing anybody's effort. Without the input of everyone, we won't be here today. I get misunderstood a lot but I also accept mistakes.

I didn't consider the scenario opening closed wound but I used it to hammer a point. Now that you mention it, I see where the fault is.

Kimoni, thank you for mentioning that. I am really sorry. That wasn't my intention. I respect every effort. And like I said, it's not about the team. I hope you accept my apology.

Gboliwe, no, far from it. But now that you mentioned it, I have to adjust and not use self-righteous words. What did I even do in all of these compared to what everyone did and is doing? Can I quantify the prayers, love, support, materials, time, etc. spent by people here? I'm sorry it appeared the way it is. Forgive me, it wasn't intentional.

jaybee3:

We are not trying to change perception as it's really of no importance to us.
We have a responsibility to tell our side of the story so as to clear misconceptions.
It's really up to you guys to derive your own conclusions based on information given.

The costs privided to us by the India hosps at various times in the past suggests that angle is very difficult to pursue as we simply can't afford it as well as not having any sort of guarantees considering he is now supposedly at stage 4.

Our thinking though not final at the moment is improving his quality of life as well as providing an adequate palliative care to improve his health

Lastly, DJ insists he is feeling much better and we pray that remains so

Please correct me if am wrong. From what I understand from this post, the two indian hospitals are not affordable and because it's a stage 4 cancer we should just concentrate on improving his quality of life and watch him kick the bucket??
What happened to fund raising and seeking for help to raise more money??
We all are here reading, typing and fighting. If everybody here should pay 10k am sure other Nairaland members will join.
Please we should not just concentrate on improving quality of life. Standing to be corrected.

@emmysexxy, I got your mail and I've done the needful.

I appreciate. Thanks a lot. God bless.