₦airaland Forum

I came across this question today and it got me thinking.....

Would you like to be independent and unsafe or be dependent and safe?
Let's note that the dependence or independence is in relation to people.

Well, as for me, inasmuch as it is good to be safe, it is actually unsafe to be dependent, when I say dependent i mean total dependence, because whomever it is that you are dependent upon could change, could be called home by God and so on.
So, I would go for being independent, having attained this I would strive to move from the realm of being "unsafe" to the realm of safety.
It should be noted that however great you are, you still have people that you depend upon, it may not be financially.

What are your thoughts on this?

OP .. Neither.

Independent and unsafe - The role of a man
Dependent and safe - The role of a woman.

I just like being the "dependent" one. I support you as much as I can but at the end of the day, darling the head that wears the crown is heavy.

This question is really interesting because some women mix it up- they want to be independent and safe.

^^ and what's wrong being Independent and Safe ??

Mutter is that how you interpreted the question

Based on gender?

Someone else can say independence is a sinner who has not found salvation

It does not make any sense

pickabeau1:
Mutter is that how you interpreted the question

Based on gender?

Someone else can say independence is a sinner who has not found salvation

It does not make any sense

Yes it has so many interpretations.

Dependent and safe - employee

independent and unsafe - employer.

mutter:
Yes it has so many interpretations.

Dependent and safe - employee

independent and unsafe - employer.

So why did u link it to being a woman
Why can't a woman be independent n safe or better still interdependent

pickabeau1:
So why did u link it to being a woman
Why can't a woman be independent n safe or better still interdependent

Just a possibility.
A woman can be financially independent but should be dependent on her husband. Dependent on his love, support, advice and care.
Then the marriage is more likely to be safe - work out.

My first from many options because keeping a marriage going is more challanging and difficult than maintaining financial independence.

Interdependent is also a lovely word . But it also has something to do with the woman being dependent on the man.

mutter:
Just a possibility.
A woman can be financially independent but should be dependent on her husband. Dependent on his love, support, advice and care.
Then the marriage is more likely to be safe - work out.

My first from many options because keeping a marriage going is more challanging and difficult than maintaining financial independence.

Interdependent is also a lovely word . But it also has something to do with the woman being dependent on the man.

OK..guess you r trying to make sense of the original post

Still trying to get this OP

Independence day

Which kain question op dey ask. I don't understand o

Unsafe in regards to what exactly?

eigmaticme:
Unsafe in regards to what exactly?

As I mentioned earlier in the post, dependence or independence is in relation to people, however, the safe or unsafe part is relative, it might be security wise, emotional wise and so on.

mamadsquare:
As I mentioned earlier in the post, dependence or independence is in relation to people, however, the safe or unsafe part is relative, it might be security wise, emotional wise and so on.

Can you give case studies?

mutter:
Just a possibility.
A woman can be financially independent but should be dependent on her husband. Dependent on his love, support, advice and care.
Then the marriage is more likely to be safe - work out.

My first from many options because keeping a marriage going is more challanging and difficult than maintaining financial independence.

Interdependent is also a lovely word . But it also has something to do with the woman being dependent on the man.

Is the man not dependent on the woman also since we are not necessarily talking finance?

Lol, why stop the trend mutter?

bukatyne:
Is the man not dependent on the woman also since we are not necessarily talking finance?

Men are much more dependent on a woman than the want to admit.
Today men are also financially dependent on women to a large extent.
That is the basic problem in marriage today. The man has lost his old biblical role as a provider and a protector. The only thing they are struggling to hang on to is their role as the superior partner in the relationship.
So it is difficult for most women under such circumstances to take on the functions of a man without wanting to grab hold of that supremacy too.

mutter:
Men are much more dependent on a woman than the want to admit.
Today men are also financially dependent on women to a large extent.
That is the basic problem in marriage today. The man has lost his old biblical role as a provider and a protector. The only thing they are struggling to hang on to is their role as the superior partner in the relationship.
So it is difficult for most women under such circumstances to take on the functions of a man without wanting to grab hold of that supremacy too.

Superior partner?

You lost me there.

When I was talking dependence, I was referring to love, care, encouragement etc etc.

I agree that in relationship where a husband's headship is dependent on his ability to provide, he loses that place as soon as he loses his earning edge

bukatyne:
Superior partner?

You lost me there.

When I was talking dependence, I was referring to love, care, encouragement etc etc.

I agree that in relationship where a husband's headship is dependent on his ability to provide, he loses that place as soon as he loses his earning edge

Why lost. In most cases they are intertwined.In most cases the social status of the other person determines whether you let yourself into a relationship or not. Especially for women.
Only when you opt for a relationship does love, care and encouragement take place.

mutter:
Why lost. In most cases they are intertwined.In most cases the social status of the other person determines whether you let yourself into a relationship or not. Especially for women.
Only when you opt for a relationship does love, care and encouragement take place.

It seems we are talking two different things.

I was referring to a marriage so obviously the relationship is there (ideal marriage I mean)

pickabeau1:
Mutter is that how you interpreted the question

Based on gender?

Someone else can say independence is a sinner who has not found salvation

It does not make any sense

In this case I would interpret it as independence being someone who believes absolutely in God that he is not dependent on man for his happiness. This is a state of perfection in your relationship to God.

bukatyne:
It seems we are talking two different things.

I was referring to a marriage so obviously the relationship is there (ideal marriage I mean)

Same applies in marriage. The primary thing that a woman looks for in a man is him being a provider and a protector. Now I would like to imagine that in the olden days the man was more of a material provider and less of an emotional provider.
Today women still want men to be providers. I mean even if you can fend for yourself you don`t ideally want to fend for a man. However there is now more emphasis on providing emotional goods- love,care and affection. Also every woman still wants to look up to her man as being able to protect her. This role has change allot too, but I can assure you that married women have more respect in most societies.

So here again most women want men that fill the position of the provider and protector. While some women need more material goods others value immaterial more. It all depends on the kind of woman you are. I can assure you that there are some women out there that need the cash and not the care.

mutter:
In this case I would interpret it as independence being someone who believes absolutely in God that he is not dependent on man for his happiness. This is a state of perfection in your relationship to God.

Ok