₦airaland Forum

Recently NL front page has been awash with relationship advice and marriage how-to's on what could easily pass for riddles/ jokes . Obviously Nigerian's are living upto their name as 'copycats' and 'best speech makers who fail on actions'. A little in-depth research into these write-ups shows that most of them (except for a few from experienced married people) are either copied off foreign relationship sites that have no relevance to Nigeria's environment or written by a bunch of heart-broken teenagers/ college students who out of boredom and loneliness spend much of their time online, browsing.

1. They Lack Experience: How could one who doesn't know how to drive; doesn't even have a driver's license teach people how to drive? How can someone who has never kept a steady date with one person for a year suddenly turn to a relationship adviser? How could one who has never married suddenly become a marriage counselor? You have never carried pregnancy before, never changed diaper in your life yet you are online talking about what a woman wants and what man wants in marriage. Haba!

2. They are full of fictions: Marriage is one thing you can never master by reading novels and watching romance movies. Every woman is different; every man is different. There's no formula for a successful marriage apart from "study and understand your partner and give him/her what he/she wants." Which means until you have that man/ woman you can't know what he/she wants. What worked for Alhaji & Alhaja Balogun may not work for Igwe & Lolo Okoro. Everybody's situation is different. If you can master marriage through reading why do PhD holders in psychology, senior pastors, successful businessmen/women fail in marriage?

3. They assume everyone has same goals in marriage: People marry for different goals. There are retirees with grown-up kids who remarry for companionship. There are divorced people, widows/widowers who marry to have step-mother/ step-father for their young kids. There're people who marry to have kids for inheritance, there are people who marry to gain political connections, there are people who marry to solidify their business ties, there are people who marry their academic research partners to remain a team, some kings marry to expand their territories, others marry because someone got pregnant and therefore forced to marry, some marry just to monopolize a handsome/ beautiful body, some even marry to travel out, get work permits, green cards, etc. So how do all this tonnes of advice online fit each of this situation?


4. They use religious justifications to heat up their thread and get 'Like': Baba Aladura had his reasons for marrying multiple wives, while Pope has his reasons for not marrying at all yet they all have teaming followers. Osimili chief priest has his reason for prefering a young virgin, while 'social guru' has a reason he wants a lady with bedmatic skills/ experience and doesn't like virgins. Emir of Kano has his reasons for marrying more than one wive, etc. How can one tell the other he's wrong? Fela sang "me & u no dey for the same category"

5. It's all about bloggers getting traffic and 'Likes'. Inexperienced bloggers try to make money by driving traffic to their sites because they heard that's what made Linda Ikeji Rich. Who told them traffic is equivalent to money? . Sorry kids! I'm laughing at you all in Swahili if you think you will get rich by not acquiring useful skills and look for a good job rather sit all day posting rubbish and pornography on a cheap website in the name of blogs. Why do you think universities have a degree in e-commerce, and e-business? Mtcheew!

I must commend few posts that were quite educative and informative. You could tell they were written by experienced old-hands who shared their personal experiences. For others I think you kids should settle down and read your books before you start blaming GEJ for all your life problems.

".....Please me and you no dey for the same category......" - Fela

Thank God people are getting wise.
Its always amusing seeing monikers who regularly post on the numerous admission threads in Education giving advice to their papa mate.

Gbam!
No further 'kwamment'!
Especially those ones that don't have dates. . . not to mention partners!
Some will preach 'his words'. . . even when HE NEVER MARRIED and conceived with a 'HOLY GHOST'S' pehnis!

Anyone that cannot handle his or her relationship personally or professionally. . . is A MEDIEVAL DUNCE!
We all know gossip boards as NL will make up all kinds of 'fake' stories or churn out 'stale' blog write-ups to keep afloat a 'dysfunctional family section'.

Well. . . great entertainment!
Oya. . .make we KONTINU the MUMUISM!!!

*off to work. . .after washing and polishing my afro' without a single grey hair yet*

Yeah right, am sure all the old people are wiser than Methuselah and all the young people are very dumb.
The fact u haven't experienced something does not mean you can't give a few reasonable advice here and there.

You should knw by now, Nairaland is dominated by the young, if there are any old people here at all sef.

So, those few advice you said were reasonable were probably from guys and ladies not up to 26.

And again, why will these older people put their life problems on a site most especially Nairaland if they are so wise.
I agree with you, many nairalanders here will make a joke practically out of anything but if you look closely enough, there is always a good advice.

P.S if you think u are so wise and/or you don't want advise from younger people, then don't ask for it.

Finally...a truthful thread not the NL usual rubbish
Thanks OP

BaebieHot:
Yeah right, am sure all the old people are wiser than Methuselah and all the young people are very dumb.
The fact u haven't experienced something does not mean you can't give a few reasonable advice here and there.

You should knw by now, Nairaland is dominated by the young, if there are any old people here at all sef.

So, those few advice you said were reasonable were probably from guys and ladies not up to 26.

And again, why will these older people put their life problems on a site most especially Nairaland if they are so wise.
I agree with you, many nairalanders here will make a joke practically out of anything but if you look closely enough, there is always a good advice.

P.S if you think u are so wise and/or you don't want advise from younger people, then don't ask for it.

I gave credit to the few good posts too. I did not condemn all. By the way who told you there are no experienced old people on NL yet you saw Fani Kayodi posting on NL? Abeg he was a minister! U dey play with NL ooo! .

I won't say you can't learn one or two things from both old and young




Its the person that is being the advice that will sieve the ones to take
There is this adage in my home town that says "omode gbon.... Agba gbon, ni a fi da ile Ife"

So, out of their no sense comment you can still find some sense in it but the application might be different.

dre11:
I won't say you can't learn one or two things from both old and young




Its the person that is being the advice that will sieve the ones to take
There is this adage in my home town that says "omode gbon.... Agba gbon, ni a fi da ile Ife"

So, out of their no sense comment you can still find some sense in it but the application might be different.

You are right. I am trying to highlight that people should delve into areas they have expertise in and not spill dangerous poisons called advice.